Find My Place
by Saxyad18
Summary: Rose and Bella bond, but when the Cullens return from hunting, the new friendship tears the family apart. Can the Cullens salvage the family before it falls into ruin? Who is sacrificed for the benefit of the rest? And who commits the ultimate betrayal?
1. Nightmare on the Streets of Rochester

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:**

**Have you ever wondered what happened after the showdown with Victoria in _Eclipse_? Between the end of that battle and the wedding in August, there are almost two months of the summer where we don't know what our favorite vampire family is up to. This is my take on what could have happened. **

The night Rosalie reveals her back-story in _Eclipse_, Bella has a nightmare where she is crawling down a street with an angel watching her every move. What if that dream had been a little different? What if it had been the catalyst for an irreversible change in Bella's relationship with Rosalie? Three weeks later, one week after the battle with Victoria, a tentative friendship is cemented between the two when the rest of the family takes a weekend hunting trip. Bella and Rosalie bond over shared pain and dreams, but when the Cullens return from their trip, the new friendship tears the family apart. While trying to save their own fledgling relationship, Bella and Rosalie must decide if they have the strength to prevent their family from falling into ruin. But who must be sacrificed for the benefit of the rest and who commits the ultimate betrayal?

**Most of the action is told from either Bella's or Rosalie's POV, but each of the Cullens do act as narrator for at least a few sections.  
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First and foremost, this fic tells how a friendship between Rosalie and Bella could have developed, but it also serves as an exposé of the Cullen family as a whole. As they face their own insecurities and fears, Bella and Rosalie begin to realize their family is not as flawless and perfect as they thought. Journey with them as they discover the roots of these imperfections and try to rescue the family from ruin before it is too late.

This fic, however, also serves another purpose. As readers of the series, we may often form opinions of Rosalie early on that are difficult to break, even as new information concerning her character is introduced later in the series. Often, even in _Breaking Dawn_, Rosalie is seen as a self-serving ice queen, but there is so much more to her character than that. I hope, though this piece of fiction, to explore the characterization of Rosalie Hale in order to rescue the humanity of which I think she is all too often deprived. As perhaps the most often misjudged and flawed Cullen, Rosalie must be considered as more than just an ice queen. Only after delving past that initial layer of icy indifference can one truly begin to appreciate her actions.

**This chapter begins with a retrospective by Rosalie about one month after the battle with Victoria (July 11), but then switches back to my version of the action of May 31. That night (_Eclipse_- Chapter 7- Unhappy Endings) Rosalie related her story to Bella. Esme, Rosalie, and Alice are all home, watching over Bella while the boys are out on a hunting trip. **

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**RPOV- Thursday July 11  
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I wondered how one seemingly insignificant human had managed to change my entire life in matter of days. How had she wormed her way into my heart? How had she made me see, made the others see, what we had been blind to for decades?

She had laid us bare, delving deeper than we dared –deeper than we knew was possible. She had seen behind the masks, seen beyond the pretenses and lies, down to the heart of the matter. Where others would have turned away, she carried on, even when she herself had nothing left to give.

Never in my existence did I ever once imagine I would find myself beholden to a mere slip of a girl who had trouble walking on a flat surface without the risk of causing herself great harm. Never would I have believed that she, who I had at one time hated and looked at with untold envy, would be the key to my peace.

And yet, while I knew I owed her more than I could ever repay, she seemed to want no recompense, save for the assurance of a whole family. How could I deny her what I had spent my time of eternity fighting for? How could I deprive her of that which I so desperately craved?

I never would have believed that two people could be worlds apart, in upbringing, in personality, in virtues and in vices, and still long for the same thing. We were so different, but at the core, we were astonishingly similar.

A month ago, I would have scoffed at the idea of her as a trusted confidant, as a friend, as a sister, but I now knew and relished that to me she was all three. I would have been ashamed to admit that I needed her, but now I would gladly walk through fire to ensure she never left me.

Even now, knowing so much more than I did at the time, I am still momentarily stunned at what she went through for me, for all of us, and what she sacrificed to make us whole again.

Looking back now, it seems so appropriate that my salvation began in the same place I was so sure my life had ended– a nightmare on the streets of Rochester.

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**BPOV- Thursday May 31 (_Eclipse_ Chapter 7 Unhappy Endings)  
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It had only a few hours since Rosalie had revealed her past to me, since we had tried to form that first tenuous familial bond. Edward was out for a quick hunt with Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper. Rosalie, Alice and Esme stayed behind as my wardens, Alice claiming I needed a girl's weekend.

If I weren't so worried about what was going on in Seattle, I might have been more incensed at being guarded and watched like a mischievous toddler, but as it were, I was comforted to have four vampires acting as sentries over my sleep.

For a night spent without the comfort of Edward's embrace, I was having remarkably pleasant dreams. I was in the meadow with Edward, just gazing into his topaz eyes. The breeze curled around us, enveloping me with his sweet scent and warm, moist air.

But without warning, Edward disappeared and a strange sort of mist curled around me; I was instantly terrified. I had come to realize the mist was a warning sign of coming pain, the ripping open of the newly closed hole in my chest. The meadow faded into pitch black darkness, the only sound, a sort of dull, hollow, thumping from my feet as I shuffled from side to side, trying to find some source of light.

Menacing laughter sounded, but it was muffled. I spun wildly, trying to discover the source of the sound. The mist began to let up, but the laughter grew louder and louder, sounding oddly familiar, in a bone-chilling sort of way. It didn't take me long to figure out why.

As quickly as it had appeared, the mist dissipated completely and I instantly recognized the scene. I was back in the ally in Port Angeles and the laughter was coming from the men who had tried to attack me.

I stood rooted to the spot, unable to even breathe. I waited, terrified, for Edward to appear and save me as before. But they just got closer and closer, touching me, manhandling me, leaving me no room for escape. Just when I was prepared to finally let out a scream, something pulled me from their grasp.

I was behind a cold, firm presence and I immediately assumed it was Edward. When blonde hair swirled in front of me, confusion replaced relief.

"You wont touch her," sneered Rosalie's bell like voice.

She stood between them and me, like an avenging angel. I could almost imagine downy wings on her back and a halo above her blonde curls. The men leered at her, lunging as if to attack, but she was faster and more powerful, easily dispatching them one by one. I gasped as their blood left crimson stains on the pavement and on Rosalie's hands.

Even in my shocked state, I was glad for her presence, but I still could not understand why Rosalie, of all people, had come to save me, and I had no time to dwell on it.

Rosalie turned as if to look at me, but before she could face me completely, she froze, her whole body tensing. I whirled around, squinting into the darkness, seeing nothing, which frightened me more.

She began to back away, passing me with a look of terror on her face I'd never seen before. I blinked and then gasped. Her eyes were no longer amber, but a stormy shade of violet and there was a flush to her cheeks. The scenery changed along with her appearance, taking on the look of a time long since past.

I heard footsteps coming closer and closer, and I moved, remaining motionless once I was behind her, having no idea what was coming. Rosalie didn't even seem to notice me anymore. She appeared to be on the verge of hyperventilating.

Out of the shadows stepped the figures of five men, one seeming to lead the rest. They were speaking, but I couldn't understand the words or see their faces. They were in a sort of haze.

Rosalie continued to back up, and just when she should have bumped into me, it seemed as though she passed right through me, as though I wasn't even there.

The faceless man had surrounded her now, pawing at her as my attackers had done. Their hands were like claws, ripping at her.

"No!" I screamed, but it seemed no one heard me.

"No! Stop it!" I tried again, running to shove the men away from her, but again, I passed right through.

Rosalie's terrified cries tore through me. She was scared, pleading for the pain to stop, but the men just kept up their horrifying assault.

The tore at her clothing, ripping the fabric to shreds, and exposing what I now understood to be her human body to their abuse. I was witnessing the event that led to Rosalie's transformation, but this seemed so much worse than her retelling of the story. It was truly a nightmare on the streets of Rochester.

Her cries grew in intensity and desperation as the leader of the faceless men forced himself on her. She shrieked in pain and agony.

I wanted to protect her from the onslaught, wanted to spare her the pain and suffering. I wanted to save her as she had saved me, but I was powerless to stop the scene before me.

"Stop! Don't hurt her!" I pleaded, with no effect.

He continued to abuse her already battered body while the other men pawed at her, like wild animals over a carcass.

When I thought I couldn't take anymore, her eyes locked with mine, holding such profound sadness I cried out in pain. She could see me. She knew I was there even if the others didn't and she knew I could do nothing to save her.

Unlike Rosalie, I couldn't be an avenging angel. But all the same, I had to try.

I rushed at the men; the first had apparently finished and another looked to be taking his place. I just couldn't bear to see her used like some empty vessel for their satisfaction.

"Please. She doesn't deserve this. Leave her alone!" I screeched desperately, willing them to hear the words and feel the force of my shoves.

Nothing worked. I had to watch, Rosalie's eyes locked with mine all the while, as the men continued their brutal assault of her body. One by one they took their turns and left their marks.

When I thought I could watch no more, the last took his turn, displaying far more violence than the rest. Rosalie managed to gather enough strength to try to run, but she slipped. I heard the deadening crack of her skull against the pavement, and watched horrified as the man continued to find his pleasure in her broken, and now freely bleeding body.

"Why? Why her? Hasn't she suffered enough?" I called to no one in particular, having now given up on making my voice heard by her attackers. "Please, PLEASE, no more!"

I sobbed, watching her body writhe in pain, but I came up short when I realized the flailing of her limbs reminded me of a rag doll. Rosalie was giving up; she had no more fight in her. I could see her violet eyes clouding over with a haze from the pain and disbelief.

The last man finished, leaving her there in a pool of her own blood, laughing as he met up with the others; they sauntered out of the ally, never once looking back to see the destruction they had wrought.

Rosalie's breaths came out in painful rasps and wheezes. The blood continued to pool from the wound in her head, from her fingertips where she had clawed without effect at the ground and her attackers, and down her legs, as a testament to their brutal ravaging of her body.

Her breaths became more labored and her eyes regained enough focus to lock with mine one last time, and I knew then she was going to die in front of me. She was going to die because I had done nothing to save her.

"Noooooooo! Don't take her from me." I begged to whatever deity would listen. "Don't take my sister!"

Rosalie despised my very presence, of that much I was sure, but she was Edward's sister, and in my heart, that made her mine as well. I knew she was fighting for me, well for my humanity, even when I felt like she was fighting against me, and now she was dying because I wasn't strong enough to fight for her. It was my worst nightmare in the middle of hers. Was I going to have to watch my family systematically slaughtered because I was too weak to protect them?

I kept waiting for Carlisle to show up. That was how this story was supposed to end. He was supposed to save her. But as the minutes ticked by, I slowly realized Carlisle was not coming and Rosalie was going to die. She was never going to get her happy ending with Emmett.

I reached toward her, longing to provide some measure of comfort to the broken, bleeding girl dying in front of me. But just as my fingers would have touched her cheek, the light left her eyes and she dissolved before me.

I jolted awake, panting, my eyes, gummy from tears, focused momentarily on the moon beams illuminating Edward's ceiling before I vaulted out of bed, struggling to disentangle myself from the covers. I flew down the stairs to the second floor, my anxiety growing by the minute.

I couldn't find anyone, and most especially, I couldn't find Rosalie. It had to be a dream, but it felt too real for me to be convinced until I saw her golden, not lifeless violet, eyes glaring at me for disturbing her– before I could believe she hadn't just died in front of me.

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_**RPOV - Same night  
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I sat curled up on the sofa, mimicking the position I usually had when sitting by my beloved Emmett. I slowly perused the pages of one of my many automotive magazines, wondering when we would be reunited. I had come down the stairs after having shared my past with Bella about two hours ago. I had tried to hard to not to frighten her, but I knew I had said too much. She'd been pale and shaking when I'd left her sitting on the couch in Edward's room.

Alice and Jasper had intertwined their limbs together on the small love seat. I wasn't quite sure where one ended and the other began at this point. Jasper had gone with the rest of the boys hunting, but returned quickly to spend more time with Alice. Ever since her almost demise in Volterra, Jasper had been reluctant to let her out of his sight for long.

Across the room, with blueprints scattered around her, worked Esme. She was planning some sort of renovation for the small cottage that rested within our property. I caught her looking at Alice, Jasper, and myself, no doubt thinking how much she loved her children.

I had to work hard to smother sudden feelings of resentment for Esme. Not only had she known the joys of motherhood as a human, albeit not for long, she also got to play mother as a vampire. Still, I had to remind myself, she was my mother and I was grateful to have her.

Thankfully, Alice tensed, her eyes glazing over, causing Esme to focus on her, instead of me. Less than thirty seconds passed before her eyes refocused and a soft smile played on her lips.

"What did you see dear?' Esme questioned.

"You'll see soon enough," she responded, sounding somewhat awed.

Esme didn't press anymore, she just pressed her lips together and returned to her work, though I could tell her mind was elsewhere. She kept glancing up, as though she could see the young girl who was sleeping two stories above her.

Bella Swan lay upstairs curled in a ball on Edward's sofa, refusing to even entertain the idea of sleeping on the new bed in his room. Edward felt better knowing she was with the family who stayed at home this weekend. Danger magnet didn't even begin to cover her attraction to all things dangerous and otherworldly.

My musings were interrupted by the rustle of the coverlet as Bella began to move, likely as a result of her dreams. Edward could justify his actions for all eternity, but I still thought it was a bit creepy that he watched her sleep. Though, I wished he were here if Bella's movements were a sign that she was about to be thrust into another nightmare.

Last week, one had her convinced that Alice had died at the hands of the Volturi during their rescue mission. It'd taken her all week to get over that one, and I still caught her watching Alice as though she expected her to disappear any second.

A whimpered protestation interrupted by thoughts.

"No."

"No, stop it."

I watched Esme look at Jasper for conformation of what we all knew was happening.

"She's absolutely terrified, but strangely determined and protective," he answered her unasked question. "I have no idea who she is dreaming about. It's a completely different mix of emotions than when she was dreaming about Alice last week."

Esme began to get up to go rouse Bella before the screaming began, but Alice, who had moved as soon as she was distracted, laid a hand on her forearm. Esme looked surprised, and she waited for Alice to explain.

"No Esme," she told her, "Let her be. It has to happen this way. It's important."

Esme resettled herself, but she didn't return to her work. I too stopped reading, even though I made it look like I was, and waited to see what was going to happen. I didn't have to wait long before Bella's weak cries sounded again.

"Stop! Don't hurt her."

"Please! She doesn't deserve this. Leave her alone."

As her pleas became more and more desperate, the thrashing became more pronounced and her heart began to beat erratically. Hearing her scream made me glad I couldn't have nightmares anymore. But then again, I didn't need to sleep to relive my personal nightmare. I had clung so viciously to that memory during my first few years of vampire life that even now it would strike me without warning and in perfect clarity.

I knew Esme was watching us, and I hated feeling like I was on display and under scrutiny. She was trying to gauge my reaction. Taking into consideration what I'd heard Bella whimper, and completely disregarding what Jasper had said, I had the feeling Bella was dreaming about Alice again. She didn't seem to understand that Alice was virtually indestructible. She was so blasted protective of Alice just because she was tiny.

Maybe that was what I needed to be– tiny and frail-looking. After all, as a statuesque blonde with a battle-axe attitude, no one ever thought about protecting me. I tried to hide my jealousy from Esme, but I knew she saw. She was the only one who ever saw, but even she didn't really understand.

I felt guilty that I was glad Bella's screams refocused Esme's attention off me. That was, until I realized she was dreaming about Alice again.

"Why? Why her? Hasn't she suffered enough?"

"Please, PLEASE, no more!"

"Noooooooo! No, don't take her from me!"

"Don't take my sister!"

I had enough time to school my face into a mask of indifference by the time Esme looked back to me. Bella Swan could dream about who ever she wanted to. It didn't make any difference to me, or at least, I tried to convince myself that I didn't care. I knew I would be the last person she would cry over and that bothered me more than I wanted to admit.

We all heard Bella's gasp as she awoke suddenly from her nightmare and her subsequent gasps for air to fill her heaving lungs anf calm her racing heart. What we did not expect was the sound of her feet hitting the floor and her racing around the second story, opening and closing doors and surprisingly not tripping.

I caught Esme looking at Alice for some sort of guidance, but she continued to smile and look expectantly at the threshold of the living room.

Bella's frantic search continued as she stumbled her way down the stairs. She flew into the living room, eyes red, wide with terror and desperation, huge tears rolling down her already wet cheeks. She looked around wildly, obviously trying to decide who was home.

I expected her to come running to either Esme or Alice for comfort, since she wasn't quite that comfortable with Jasper and I would probably be the last person she would want to hold her when she was upset.

Bella, however, surprised us all and she flung herself at my lap, gripping my waist as her sobs grew in volume and intensity.

Shock played over my face as well as Jasper's and of course Esme's. Jasper regained control first, which surprised me considering the emotional climate of the room. I could do nothing but stare at the sobbing human in my lap, completely baffled and very uncertain as to what to do next. I had to fight against the urge to dump her on the floor. Why would I want to comfort her after she dreamed of Alice? It was like pouring salt on an open wound.

"Bella," his calm voice soothed, "What's wrong? What happened?"

She took several deep breaths, interrupted by staccato hitches, before she could answer.

"They hurt her," she replied in anguish.

"Who did they hurt Bella? What has you so afraid?" Esme questioned, attempting discover the root of her terror.

Bella did not reply, but she gripped me harder, making me even more uncomfortable with her presence. For several minutes, everyone remained silent as Bella continue to sob. She calmed slightly through her own efforts and those of Jasper. Her swollen eyes opened and tears continued to stream down her cheeks. She trained them on my face, which thankfully was still frozen in my mask of indifference.

"They hurt you," she cried while looking at me. "They hurt you and I tried…I tired, I swear. I wanted to save you. You were suffering and it was wrong…so wrong. And I wanted…I wanted…" Bella began to stutter as the emotions started to overwhelm her again. "I tried," she wailed again, her eyes begging for understanding. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This couldn't be right. Her dream was making her confused. It was Alice. It had to be Alice.

"But I couldn't. I couldn't save you…Oh god, it's all my fault, " she continued to sob. "They hurt you. I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry…They wouldn't stop hurting you and then you were gone. I'm sorry…sorry… please…so sorry."

The longer she sobbed the harder it was to maintain my cold indifference; it continued wavering as Bella brokenly related her nightmare. I couldn't help it when my inner shock at this turn of events finally broke through my indifference. I looked to Jasper for help understanding the emotions of the sobbing girl in my lap. I had to be misinterpreting Bella's broken replies. That was the only reasonable explanation for all of this. Bella Swan was crying over Alice, not over me.

"Rose," he started and then stopped, taking a moment to compose himself. "Rose, she's still terrified and protective, but more so, she's remorseful and afraid, I think of your rejection. All her emotions are centered on you right now."

I couldn't stop the warm feeling that spread throughout me at his explanation. Bella Swan was crying over me. She had tried to protect me from something in her nightmare– me, not tiny Alice– and she was so upset because she thought something had happened to me, that someone had taken her sister.

I felt every bit a mother as I gather a still sobbing Bella in my arms. I placed her off to one side side, but gathered her close into a loving embrace. She burrowed her head into my neck, grasping fistfuls of my clothing her in shaking hands.

"They hurt you. I'm sorry, Rosalie. I tried. Please, I tried," Bella once again stuttered through her sobs and tears.

"Shhhhh. Shhhhh. No one has hurt me. I'm here. No one is going to take me," I cooed in an attempt to calm Bella, who clung to me tighter as I finally acknowledged her fear.

"But…but, oh Rosalie, they did. They hurt you so badly, and I just stood there and watched. I couldn't save you. I let them take my sister from me. They wouldn't stop and then you were gone," Bella managed to get out before she once again dissolved into body shaking sobs.

To hear her call me sister, knowing she was talking about me this time, made the feeling of contentment grow. No matter how I treated her in the past, Bella Swan considered me her sister and she was going to fight to protect me. At this moment, I could finally begin to understand her, because in so many ways she was like me- desperate to protect her family from anything that could hurt them. I gained a new respect for her, and I now felt obligated to soothe her fears.

I was touched that she tried to protect me, but I was Rosalie Hale; I had been protecting my family and myself for decades. It was Bella that needed protecting, and I felt it was my job more than ever to make sure she was, even if she didn't always understand what I was protecting her from.

I wiped away Bella's tears and stroked her chestnut hair, soothing her with whispered words and gentle hugs. I could see Bella beginning to succumb to her exhaustion and my ministrations. She buried her head further into my shoulder, apparently comforted by the coldness.

"She finally feels safe," Jasper whispered as Bella began to nod off. I felt her eyes slowly blink and then remain closed. The others watched, fascinated, like Edward, by Bella falling asleep.

We had achieved serenity again until Bella spoke once more, sending us all back into a flurry of emotions.

"No, you can't have her. She's mine," She mumbled caught between consciousness and her dream again as she gripped me tighter. "She's my sister…my Rose," Bella continued. And then, no louder than a sigh, we all heard "My angel."

I was a little stunned to hear Bella call me an angel, but I was too touched by her protectiveness to really think about it long.

"I'm going to take her back upstairs," I whispered. "I'll stay until she wakes up. It's my turn to protect her." And with that, I carried a now unconscious Bella up the stairs to Edward's room. I settled in next to her and before I whispered, "You sleep now. I'll keep the nightmares away. I'll protect you."

Even in her sleeping state, Bella acknowledged this promise.

"…love you Rosa…." She breathed.

"I love you too Bella. Sleep now." I was surprised by the sense of rightness that accompanied my declaration of love for Bella, but she had found a place in my heart tonight. It had been so long since anyone had thought to protect me and that such a desire to save me from more pain had come from this girl made me recognize how special she really was.

Bella deserved so much more than this half-life. She deserved to have children, to grow old and watch them start their own lives. I would make sure she had the chance, even if that meant I had to protect her from my own family.

Before tonight, I had really been fighting against Bella becoming part of the family because I'd somehow projected myself into her place. I'd been fighting for her how I wished someone had fought for me, as though that could somehow save me in retrospect. But now, I was really going to fight for her, because she needed someone to protect her best interests, even if she didn't know what they were.

If need be, I would make myself her enemy again, I would hurt her, and I would alienate myself from my family, but Bella Swan would never know the pain and longing I felt every day of my eternal existence. She deserved better, and I was going to make sure she got what she deserved.

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*** I apologize for those of you who find chronological inconsistencies in the remaining chapters. I am in the process of streamlining this story to fit seamlessly into canon chronology, which I did not do the first time I posted it, as I am submitting this story to Twilighted. The inconsistencies will become more pronounced in the later chapters, so please, bear with me as I go chapter by chapter to fix these errors. When I am finished, this story, hopefully, will fit within canon chronology without any breaks.**

**Please take a moment to review. It means so very much. **

**Thank you! ^_^  
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	2. Calling The Shots

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**The action in this chapter takes place one week after the battle with Victoria. Please take a moment to read and review.**

**Thanks! ^_^  
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_**RPOV- Thursday June 21  
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I stood in the clearing watching my family. The weather was absolutely miserable–dark clouds rolled by alarmingly fast, the current drizzle of rain held the promise of a downpour within the next few hours, faint thunder rumbled in the distance and the wind blew cold and unreservedly– in short, it was perfect weather for vampire baseball.

It was hard to believe that only one week ago it had been snowing and we had been preparing to battle an army of newborns. What a difference a week could make. Now the threat was past and we could use this field for a different sort of training. It had been so long since we'd played baseball as a family and Alice had decided we all needed to play in celebration of our victory.

Emmett ran playfully in the outfield, chasing Jasper, who had just stolen the ball he and Carlisle had been throwing to each other. Alice bounced on her toes near the pitcher's mound, just waiting to announce the start of the game. Esme, now joined by Carlisle, stood off to the left of the field, watching the antics of her children and enjoying the prospect of family bonding time.

Edward had only just arrived with Bella slung around his waist, piggybacking like a toddler, but taking into account the faint green tinge of her completion, she had not enjoyed all aspects of the ride. I thought she would have been used to that method of transportation by now, but obviously, her human body just couldn't handle the speed and disorientation. I felt myself smirk as she untangled her limbs from my brother and wobbled a bit before regaining what little equilibrium she normally has.

I had to give Bella some credit though; the last time she joined the family for baseball she ended up fleeing Forks to escape from James and nearly dying in her childhood ballet studio. And just last week, this field had been the sight of atrocities she never should have been forced to witness. There were still deep gouges in the ground from the battle.

Clumsy and occasionally naïve as she was, Bella was as brave as anyone I had ever known. She stood tall in front of many vampires, well aware of her own mortality, to protect those she loved. I may have not agreed with her decision to join the damned, but I did respect her moxie and sense of self-sacrifice. She faced her fears without reservation, never once giving in to the demands of self-preservation when those she loved were in danger.

Edward must have caught my errant thoughts; his facial expressions betrayed his remorse over Bella's suffering and also his never-ending guilt. However, I was surprised to watch him nod in approval at my conclusions of Bella's courage. He seemed pleased that his fiancé was finally beginning to earn my approval.

With all the family now assembled, everyone began to take their places. We had switched up the teams from our last game. Today, Alice, Edward and I would battle against Jasper, Carlisle and my monkey man. Esme as always, acted as catcher and Bella took on the role of umpire again, the only position she could fulfill while still human. I readied myself at the plate, smirking at Alice who now stood to my left, continuing to bounce as she waited for that auspicious blast of thunder.

Only a few seconds passed before the thunder sounded and she uttered the phrase that began each and every game of baseball.

"It's time."

I was thankful for my vampire reflexes when Jasper suddenly pitched the ball without any warning. I smiled when I heard a resounding crack as the bat connected with the speeding ball and then I took off toward first base as my ball went whizzing through the air. As I rounded second base, I took notice that Carlisle had been the one to chase down my ball. He was nowhere near as fast as Edward and I had a feeling I might finally make it home safe. When I streaked past third base, I heard the ball whistling through the air towards Esme's outstretched hand and I pushed myself further. Sliding into home, I managed to touch the plate a half a second before Esme caught the ball. I trained my eyes on Bella, remembering her last call with lingering irritation. She held my gaze and with a smile called "safe." I heard Jasper grumble and shot him a withering glare, before standing up and dusting myself off.

Alice batted next, but she barely reached third base before Emmett caught her in a bear hug, the ball resting in his right hand. Carlisle stood no chance when Edward hit one long and hard; he jogged into home with time to spare.

As the game progressed the weather worsened. The drizzle became a steady shower and the wind blew fiercely. I lamented the sorry state of my hair and my muddy uniform. I suppose it would have been a wiser choice to wear my black pants, but I knew I look more striking in the white ones. Oh well, I supposed Alice and I would just have to go shopping.

"Alright! Shopping! We'll get new uniforms for everyone; Bella doesn't have one yet," Alice practically shouted after seeing my decision. Her already bright eyes twinkled merrily at the prospect of another excuse to indulge in her favorite hobby.

I couldn't help but agree that everyone would benefit from new uniforms. Our clothing, which had begun the day as pristine white, blue and black fabric, now sported brown and green stains, only exacerbated by the fact that we were all drenched from the rain. Alice, ever prepared, brought a full ensemble of rain gear for Bella, but even she looked sopping wet from head to toe after standing out in this weather for a few hours. Granted, she had not once complained and she looked as if she were enjoying the game every bit as much as the rest of us in spite of the dismal weather. I knew it wouldn't be long before Edward's protective nature caused the end of the game for the sake of Bella's health.

Nearly the moment that thought crossed my mind Edward spoke up.

"I really ought to get Bella home before she catches a cold."

Esme agreed, "Go ahead dear, we'll gather the equipment and meet you back at the house."

As Edward resituated Bella on his back, the rest of us rounded up the balls and bats and prepared for the run back home. I was looking forward to a nice hot shower and some dry clothes.

Minutes later we all stood in the garage stripping off all unnecessary articles of clothing. Esme may be kind, but the tracking of mud through her immaculate house only brought cruel and unusual punishments. Emmett, notorious for leaving footprints, has had to clean the entire house with a toothbrush on more than one occasion. Even at vampire speed, such a punishment could take several hours, depending on Esme's level of irritation and her expected level of cleanliness.

Today, however, everyone escaped Esme's wrath and we all scattered to various bathrooms to clean up the lingering remnants of our baseball game. I, for one, luxuriated in the pounding hot water of the shower, lingering for several minutes even after I was clean from head to toe.

Nearly two hours passed before everyone congregated in the living room for a nice evening in. The smell of tomato sauce and pasta permeated the air as I descended the stairs and I resisted the urge to wrinkle my nose at the unpleasant odor. Esme must have prepared dinner for Bella. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw Bella and Alice both perched at the stools by the breakfast bar in the kitchen, chattering away as Bella ate.

I was still a little envious of their relationship. Alice and I had been sisters first, but she obviously preferred Bella, mirroring Bella's own preference for her. Sometimes, I really feel like the odd duck in this family. I quickly smothered those feelings of discontent before Jasper had time to register them and began singing a song I new Edward hated to keep him out of my thoughts; I was not in the mood for a discussion with either of my brothers this evening about my emotions or mental reflection.

I sauntered my way over to Emmett before making myself comfortable in his lap, resting my head in the crook of his neck and curling up against his chest. I was convinced there was no more comfortable place in the world than in the arms of my darling husband. The rest of the evening passed remarkably quickly considering none of us engaged in any activity that created a tangible product.

Esme and Carlisle, situated similarly to Emmett and myself, read a book together, pausing every now and then simply to gaze at each other and the rest of us. I contented myself listening to Emmett's commentary on a football game he was watching on the flat screen. Edward and Jasper engaged in a long game of chess; between Jasper's strategic advantage and Edward's mind reading, it made for interesting sport. Bella and Alice remained in the kitchen, giggling over who knows what, as Bella made herself some chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate.

Before long I heard the telltale signs of Bella's impending journey to the land of dreams. Why she bothered trying to stifle her yawn in a household of vampires I will never know, but Edward quickly whisked her up to bed and stayed with her as she slumbered.

As if taking some implicit clue, the remaining couples retired to our respective bedrooms for some quality time with our mates. As Bella slept, surprisingly nightmare free, we all enjoyed the serenity of the night in the comforts of each other's arms.

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_**RPOV- Friday June 22**_

Dawn's rosy fingers slowly painted the horizon with brilliant swatches of gold, persimmon and scarlet.

As the daytime blue overtook the sky, I heard Edward coaxing Bella from her peaceful slumber. She planned to go home this morning to finish some of her chores, spend the afternoon with Charlie before he left for a fishing trip and then return to our house this evening, even though I would be the only one home.

Somehow, Emmett had coerced me into a bonding weekend with Bella. He had pouted, claiming that if I really had accepted that Bella was going to be part of the family, I needed to cement my relationship with her. Alice had told him all about Bella's nightmare two weeks ago, including my reaction, and Emmett took my actions as some sort of approval for Bella becoming a real member of the family, vampire status included. True, I had accepted Bella as a person, but I still felt she did not fully appreciate what she was giving up and that she should remain human. She was just too young to understand how she would feel in several decades, unable to bare children and grow old, watching from afar as all her friends and family lived their lives, and met their ends. I did not want that fate for her; I wouldn't wish my experience as a vampire on anyone, much less Bella. She didn't deserve that pain and longing.

Regardless of my feelings, I would be spending the evening with Bella; how I was going to entertain her, I had yet to plan, but she seemed easy enough to please. No doubt she would appreciate a reprieve from Bella Barbie. Maybe she would be content to just watch movies. I doubted either of us wanted to spend the weekend having some heart-to-heart about her impending change. At this point, we were content to agree to disagree; even if the rest of the family felt I was being stubborn, Bella respected me, or maybe still feared me, enough to listen to my opinion.

Before my thoughts could stray any further, I felt Emmett nuzzle my neck and plant a kiss just under my ear. A feeling of warm contentment filled me as I shifted to gaze into my husband's eyes. I hated many aspects of being a vampire, but knowing I would have this man to love and cherish for the rest of eternity made all the difference. My contentment was marred by the realization that soon he and the rest of the family, except Carlisle who had consented to fill in for someone at the hospital, would be leaving for a hunting trip in Canada. Emmett and Jasper were itching for something new to quench their thirst and since the threat of the newborn vampire army led by Victoria had been eliminated, most of the family could go. Bella was in the least amount of danger she'd ever been since she met my family, so it was decided that this would be the perfect time for us to bond before she officially became my sister. Edward had been hard to convince, but little Alice had worked her magic with the help of Esme to persuade him to leave Bella with me for the weekend. Just how they managed it, I will never know.

Lost in my musings and the ministrations of Emmett, I did not realize Bella had finished her morning routine, eaten breakfast, and readied herself to leave until I heard the distinctive rumble of her truck. On this one point Bella and I wholeheartedly agreed; her truck was a classic and deserved to be preserved. I, however, recognized that a little tune up and a new coat of paint couldn't hurt. I planned to give her truck a little attention while she is otherwise occupied with Edward at some point next week. I was sure Edward would help me with my plan; if he couldn't convince her to get rid of her truck, he wouldn't object to making it a little safer and more reliable for her to drive.

Bella wasn't due back until six this evening and everyone else was planning to leave in a little over an hour. Carlisle had already left for his shift and wouldn't return until early tomorrow morning. I had already decided yesterday what I was going to do with my time alone. Esme's Jacuzzi was calling my name and my closet needed a serious overhaul. Alice had already confirmed our shopping trip for the next week, so some of closet had to be purged to make room for the new additions. Summer was my favorite season. Without school dress codes to worry about, daring shorts, skirts, heels and sundresses would soon comprise my wardrobe.

I held Emmett perhaps longer than necessary considering I would see him in a few days, but I felt a little out of my element. I knew if this weekend turned out badly for Bella, I would face the disapproval of my family and the disappointment of Emmett. The disapproval I felt I could endure, but the disappointment would be crushing. I never wanted to make Emmett unhappy. Somehow sensing my worry he soothed me, kissed my forehead and stroked his hands through my hair and down my back.

"Babe, don't stress. You will be fine with Bells. See if you can catch her falling on video for me, okay? I don't want to miss anything," he chuckled.

I felt a little more confident that I wouldn't somehow screw it all up, but I didn't know if it was a result of Emmett's words or because Jasper was sending me waves of determination. I gave Emmett one last squeeze and a goodbye kiss; then I watched as he ran to catch up with Jasper and then rest of the family who had left to give us a moment of privacy.

I sighed and then made my way to the Jacuzzi. I soaked in the warm water and allowed the jets to pound away any remaining stress for a couple of hours. It was only just half past one, so I still had several hours before Bella arrived. Somehow sifting through my closet did not sound the least bit appealing; I picked up one of Alice's trashy romance novels and skimmed through it for a few minutes before deciding it wouldn't hold my interest either.

I was really at a loss as to what to do with myself. I had no desire to tinker under the hood of any of our cars, having just stepped out of the Jacuzzi. If Alice were here, she would either drag me shopping or just shop online from the house, but shopping alone in Port Angeles or sifting through pages on the internet sounded less appealing than sorting out my closet. I knew I wouldn't have a problem passing the time if Emmett were here, but he was off gallivanting around in Canada by now, no doubt harassing some poor bear just for the fun of it. Just the thought of Emmett made me a little wistful. Esme, without question, could keep me entertained with her gardening or with renovation plans for one of our many houses, but again, I could not enjoy those things alone. I couldn't even sit and listen to one of Jasper's many tales or pick Carlisle's brain. Edward and I hadn't really spent much time together in the last decade, especially now with Bella in the picture. He was always with her, or thinking about being with her, or composing songs that she inspired.

Suddenly, that train of thought roused my interest. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of this before. Next to Edward, I was the most proficient at playing piano. I hadn't the level of practice he had attained to make me his equal in any way performing, but compared to most humans, I was beyond talented. It had been so long since I played, I ran thought several major scales to reacquaint my fingers with the smooth ivory keys. I decided to play a piece I had long ago memorized.

Where Edward preferred Debussy's "Claire de Lune," I fell in love with Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata." The song, I felt, suited me- slightly poignant, but moving nonetheless, and somehow reminiscent of my lost innocence. I poured myself into the piece, reveling in the feeling of the keys beneath my delicate fingers and enveloping myself in the complex chords and melody. For the first time in weeks, I felt like I was finally letting go of some of my pent up frustration and worry. I allowed my emotions to flow though my fingers, lingering on the dissonance and glossing over harmony, seeking further channels for my release. I pounded on the keys, and the jarring and resonant notes from the piano filled the house. I doubt I would have played so freely had anyone else been present.

As the final chord faded into silence, I realized how much I had missed playing. It must have been years since I last touched the beautiful instrument; I decided then that I would find time to play more often. The freedom that now emanated from my being astounded me. Ever since the uprooting of the family had become a real and present threat, I had felt a captive of the situation. No one shared my opinion, at least not for long, and standing alone against my family had certainly taken its toll on me. I did not comprehend how emotionally strained I had become until now and I was thankful for the outlet to relieve some of the pressure.

I muddled my way through several half-forgotten pieces of Chopin and Brahms before settling on Mozart and Bach. I worked my way through several sonatas and concertos of Mozart's creation before amusing myself with Bach's "Minuet in G." A far cry from "Moonlight Sonata," this piece uplifted my spirits and somehow led me into playing another piece by Bach Carlisle often requested I play in our earlier days as a family, "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." Bits and pieces of this work brought out the side of myself usually only Emmett saw- the smiling, carefree Rosalie who loved her family and knew she was lucky to have found someone as amazing as her husband with whom to spend eternity.

I played for hours and hours, running through pieces I knew, works I had heard Edward play and I even took a stab at Bella's Lullaby. When I released the final note of her song I glanced up at the clock only to find it was already fifteen to seven. Bella was supposed to be here nearly an hour ago. Honestly, I felt a little annoyed; I could have been out with the rest of my family, but here I was, waiting, like some poor girl stood up on prom night, for Bella, who couldn't even be bothered to show up on time. I decided to give her until seven to drive her self over here and beg my forgiveness for keeping me waiting before I would go over to her house and confront her. How could I build a relationship with someone who wouldn't even spend time with me? I tried to remember those warm, fuzzy, sisterly feeling I had for her after her nightmare, but right now, my irritation and hurt were winning the battle in my head. I didn't think Jasper could even bring me down off this edge.

I paced for the remaining quarter hour and when the second hand marked the seventh hour I snatched my keys from the wall and stalked toward my M3. I had worked my self into righteous indignation by this point and I practically flew to the Swan residence. I knew Charlie had left sometime this afternoon for a fishing trip, leaving Bella alone in the house. I flung open the front door and in a voice which betrayed only a little of my frustration called, "Bella?"

After hearing no response and no other sounds indicating Bella was indisposed in the shower or some other noisy activity, my irritation slowly morphed into worry tainted with a hint of fear; I couldn't even collect my thoughts long enough to search for her heart beat. Worst-case scenarios, which often seemed standard in the world of Bella Swan, flashed quickly across my mind. I made a quick search of the bottom story of the house, and finding no sign of Bella, I bolted up the stairs. If something had happened to her there was absolutely no way my family would ever forgive me. My panic only spread when I discovered Bella wasn't in her room. I sent up prayers to every deity and higher power I could think of as I stopped in front of the bathroom. I took an unnecessary breath before I slowly pushed the door open. The sight before me made my cold heart clench in my chest and my eyes widen.

Curled uncomfortably, limbs twisted, face ghastly pale and grimacing from pain, Bella lay with her head pressed to the tile, arms stretched out in a futile effort to grasp her cell phone which rested a foot from her prone form. Her breathing was shallow and raspy and her heartbeat, which I was now sufficiently coherent to pick up on, seemed strong if a little slower than usual. She shook from the tremors racing through her muscles. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused and I wasn't sure if she even realized I was in the room.

"Bella?" I questioned as I moved to kneel next to her shaking form. No response sounded from her colorless lips.

"Bella, honey, can you hear me?" I tried questioning again and I smoothed some hair from her clammy forehead.

My touch seemed to pull Bella from her stupor.

"Rose?" her voice, weak and unsteady, finally answered.

"Bella, what happened?"

Her eyes glazed over again and her breathing became more labored. My hand rested on the side of her face and I could feel that her skin was unnaturally warm.

"I was getting ready…for tonight…" she began, pausing between phrases while she attempted to take in air. "I felt fine this morning…and before Charlie left…but I tried to pick up my book bag…to pack…and I started to feel dizzy." She continued to wheeze though her explanation and I waited patiently for her to finish.

"I came…in here…to see if water would help…I didn't want to miss tonight…I brought my phone to call you…but I felt even worse…and I think…I must have blacked out…I don't remember falling…I tried…to get my phone to call you…but…it's too far to reach."

She looked even more fragile than usual, so pale and shaking. I had a brief flash of her walking toward me in the parking deck after her return from Volterra and I shuddered at the image. I had a feeling her current health was a direct result of standing out in the rough weather last night. We all should have known better. I lifted her gently in my arms; she fell limp in my grasp. I knew I had to get her to Carlisle immediately. He would surely know what to do. As smoothly as possible, I placed her in the back of my convertible, attempting to make her as comfortable as I could for the ride to the hospital. As I pulled out of her driveway, Bella's feeble voice sounded, faint and slurred.

"I'm sorry Rosalie…this wasn't how…our weekend was…s'posed…to start."

"Oh, Bella," I sighed. "Let's just get you to Carlisle."

I continued to drive, feeling relieved as I saw the hospital looming in the distance. Carlisle would sort this all out; if I knew anything about my father, he was great during moments of crisis and I didn't need to be Edward to recognize Bella's current condition was good reason to worry.

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**A/N As always reviews are appreciated. Thanks for reading! ^_^**


	3. What are you afraid of?

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N This chapter marks the first foray into the world of angst and while it may be difficult to read, the content is important.**

**This chapter is dedicated to the exploration of Rosalie's character, specifically working with her insecurities and playing on her fears. Carlisle may seem a little OCC in his interactions with Rosalie, but remember, her perspective is coloring the events. I tried to keep the dialogue consistent with what Carlisle would say while leaving enough room for Rosalie to interpret it the wrong way.  
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**I'll make everything work out in the end. After all this is a Rosalie/Bella bonding fic. So, no worries. Just sit back, read, and enjoy this little glimpse into Rosalie's psyche. The information presented here is pivotal for the plot line in a later chapters.**

**Thanks for reading! ^_^**

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**_RPOV Friday June 22_  
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Pulling in the parking lot of the hospital, I found myself relieved that Carlisle had decided to pick up an extra shift this weekend and remain in Forks with me. I doubt I would have been as calm as I felt now if I had been solely responsible for Bella's health all weekend. I found a space quickly and was already extracting Bella from the back seat before she even realized we had stopped. She looked as though she hadn't slept well, which made me wonder if her lack of nightmares last night were more to do with sheer exhaustion and her body fighting whatever was causing her symptoms rather than Bella overcoming her abandonment issues with Edward.

"I am going to set you on your feet, and I need you to look like you are walking," I instructed Bella.

She looked at me in confusion before asking, "Rosalie? I don't know that I can stand. Why can't you just carry me?"

Her response only confirmed my suspicions that Bella was exhausted and her mental faculties were not running at their typical rate. Bella was always hyper aware of any and all actions that would cause other people to suspect my family was something other than perfectly normal. Had she been able to focus, she would have realized there was no way any normal human girl my size could carry a girl her size into the hospital in my arms.

"Bella, I can't just walk in carrying you. There is no way I should be able to pick you up."

Dawning comprehension flashed through her eyes before she murmured: "Of course, I don't want to cause trouble. Just let me go and I'll make it to the waiting room."

If she weren't so frail and pitiful looking, I might have let her try, but I wasn't heartless. Bella was suffering, even if she was doing an admirable job at hiding her pain. There was no way she could support her own weight, much less walk the one hundred feet separating the waiting room and us. I felt her struggle feebly against me, trying to free her self from my arms.

"Bella, just stop." I felt her ineffectual resistance cease. "I am not going to let you collapse while walking into the hospital. Just make it look like you are walking. I am going to support all of your weight."

I put one arm around her waist, easily holding up her slight form. She sagged against me, no longer fighting my help and we made our way slowly through the glass doors. I settled her in a chair, watching as her head lolled to one side; she didn't even have the strength to hold it up. After assuring myself that she wasn't going to topple over the minute I let go of her, I made my way over to the desk and asked the nurse to page my father. She looked as though she might argue, but I narrowed my eyes at her and then glanced toward Bella. She immediately called for Dr. Cullen over the intercom.

I situated myself next to Bella and waited patiently for Carlisle to arrive. Bella found the power to curl up into a ball, hands around her knees, and if trying to hold herself together. Her posture worried me; it was so similar to how Alice described her sitting during our months of absence. Her groan of pain interrupted my thoughts.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Everything hurts," she whimpered. "And I feel like I am going to be sick."

Taking one look at her pallid face, I immediately retrieved the small trashcan next to my chair and handed it to her. She snatched it from my hands and I suppressed the urge to shudder as she heaved repeatedly into the can. I gently pried her hands from the can and passed it to the orderly who just happened to walk by. I turned my attention back to Bella, who was now leaning between her knees holding her head. She was shaking again and I only grew more concerned when I noticed she small spots of water on the floor between her feet.

Placing one hand on her shoulder, I used the other to turn her face to me; she couldn't even fight me, like she normally would to avoid letting others see her upset. Tears coursed down her face and she looked utterly miserable. I used my thumb to wipe away the moisture, but was puzzled when she leaned into my hand.

"Bella?" I questioned as I started to move my hand. She grabbed it and pressed my palm over her temple.

"I feel so hot, can you just leave it there? Please?" she pleaded.

Glad to offer what little comfort I could, I continued to hold my hand over her fevered brow. We waited for a few more minutes before Carlisle ambled through the double doors on the other side of the lobby. Whether the look on shock on his face was from the placement of my hand or the state of Bella's face I did not know, but he hurried his pace and soon stood in front of us.

He knelt to Bella's level and began a brief external examination. Never taking his eyes off her he questioned, "Rosalie, what has happened to her?"

I didn't want to detail my previous irritation so I gave him the simplified explanation of tonight's events.

"When she hadn't showed up at the house by seven, I drove over to hers to see what was holding her up. It looked like she passed out in the bathroom and she was too weak to reach her phone to call me. I think she must have caught something standing outside so long last night. Carlisle, she looked so fragile; I thought it best to just bring her to you."

"You did well to bring her here Rosalie, I am proud of you," Carlisle praised as he scooped Bella into his arms. She pressed her overheated skin into him, trying to get as close to the coolness as possible. I mused over Carlisle's words as we walked to an empty room.

I was flooded with pride at his praise, because of all of his "children," I knew I exasperated Carlisle the most. Rarely did I do anything to earn his praise. He would never show it, but my rejection of being changed cut him to the core. He regretted causing me pain, and he often excused behavior in me that would cause him to reprimand the others. I knew I was a handful and I really didn't mean to cause so many problems in my family. My bitterness often overwhelmed me and I didn't know how to deal with it other than lashing out at everyone around me. I wanted so desperately to fit within my family, but I knew I would remain virtually an outsider until I learned to cope more effectively with all my issues.

At that moment, it occurred to me from where all of my disapproval and reservations about Bella stemmed. It wasn't so much that she would be a vampire, but that she would replace me. I was the weak link. I didn't have any abilities; I didn't make anyone but Emmett happy and even he would be better off without me; I was beautiful, but so tragically flawed.

How could I have been so blind? With the exception of Jasper, Bella had everyone wrapped around her little finger from day one. She fit so perfectly within the family. I knew Alice was disappointed in me as a sister; Bella was everything she wanted and more. Carlisle and Esme took to her immediately and she would be the perfect daughter for them- agreeable, compassionate, and self-sacrificing- in short, everything I wasn't. Emmett loved her like a sister and she and Jasper had so many shared passions. She was everything to Edward and I knew he would sacrifice me immediately for her. When they finally made her a vampire, I had a sinking feeling she wouldn't even have to deal with bloodlust and she'd have some special ability making her even more invaluable. How would I compete with that? No wonder I stood alone against my family. They were all looking forward to being perfect for the first time. It wouldn't take long for me to be pushed to the peripheries and then out all together.

Horrified, I stood there locked in my internal musings, examining and reexamining all my faults and discovering how in my desperation to find my place with in the family, I had effectively prevented myself from ever being a part of it. I locked away my pain, to shield my family from my discontent, but when I could no longer contain the emotions, they let loose, and I ended up offending everyone. My family stood against me on the issue of Bella; they resented my rejection of her because I was preventing their happiness, just like I always did. I was expendable, and I only just now realized it.

I never even noticed that Carlisle had completed his assessment of Bella and was now giving me instructions until he called my name sharply. In that tone, I read a confirmation of my fears; Carlisle was disappointed in me yet again and I would continue to be a disappointment.

"Rosalie, honestly, I need you to focus." He chastised me gently. "You need to take Bella back to our house. Standing out in the cold and rain last night weakened her immune system and she's caught the flu strain that has been affecting this area. I can't do anything more for her here, and she'll be far more comfortable at home. Just make sure she drinks plenty of fluids and eats foods that are easy to digest, like soup. Monitor her fever and administer this medication to help with the body aches."

I was still in shock from my earlier thoughts and failed to respond.

"Rosalie," he reproved, "can you handle this or do I need to call the family back from the hunting trip? It isn't anything you shouldn't be able to handle, but if you don't want to, I am sure the family would return."

I was sorely tempted to take Carlisle up on his offer, but this very well could be my last chance to prove myself worthy of being in the family.

"No, it's fine Carlisle. I can take care of Bella until everyone gets back in a few days. Just hand me her medication and I'll take her home."

He looked at me warily, as if trying to decide if I were worthy to take care of Bella, before he nodded and collected her in his arms.

"I'll carry her out," he explained as he walked past me toward the door.

I was caught in another internal debate. I wanted to prove my worth to the family, but I didn't want Bella to take my place. If I nursed her back to health, I was only promoting my eventual fall. If I refused to care for her, and she developed pneumonia, or worse, died, no one would hesitate to remove me from the family. Either way, my tenuous hold was about to cease and I would really stand alone. The only hope I had was to somehow care for Bella while proving my worth and cementing my position in the family. The only problem I found with that plan was the fact that I had nothing to offer. I wanted to stay there and sort out this problem, but Carlisle was growing impatient with me, standing at the door holding Bella.

"Come along Rosalie," he called.

I followed meekly, feeling as drained as Bella looked. I tried to remind myself that I was Rosalie Hale, beautiful and the person everyone wanted to be. I was tenacious, talented and intelligent. I wanted for no worldly goods and I was inhumanly strong and fast. None of this mattered at the moment. Right now, I felt as shattered as I did that night in Rochester with Royce. I was loosing everything I ever wanted again and nothing that made me Rosalie Hale, not my beauty or my tenacity, could save me. Everyone expected me to be heartless and unfeeling, only caring about myself, all the time. But, really, it was all for show. I just wanted to protect what little I had and the only way to do that was to be considered a threat, not to be the one threatened. But, how could I keep my family, when I was both the threat and the threatened simultaneously?

All I wanted right now was to be Bella, not because she was human, but because the man I considered my father was looking at her in a way he never looked at me, like she was precious and needed to be protected. No one ever thought to protect me, not from anything that mattered; Emmett would defend me to a point, but we often disagreed and he would side with whomever he thought was right, despite his love for me. He was too honest to support something he thought was wrong, even his wife. I had perfected convincing people I was strong, when in reality, I was still that scared girl, dying on the streets of Rochester, wondering why no one came to save me until it was too late. Carlisle may have changed me, but he didn't save me from the fear, the disbelief, the hopelessness. I wanted so desperately to be the one in his arms, but I wasn't and I likely would never be.

I watched with longing as Carlisle tenderly placed Bella in my M3, cringing slightly as he turned to me, watching the tenderness turned into gravity.

"I am trusting you to take care of her Rosalie. Her body can't take much more before she'll have to be put in the hospital for intensive care. I can pull some strings if need be to take care of her myself, but I have faith that you can do this if you put some of your feelings aside."

Before I had a chance to answer, Bella's tired voice sounded from inside the car.

"Carlisle, don't worry about us. I know Rosalie will take care of me and so should you. We'll be fine, won't we Rosalie?"

"Yes," I agreed with more confidence than I felt. "Go back inside Carlisle and let me get Bella home. I'll call you in a few hours with an update."

He smiled at Bella and gave me what looked like a warning look before finally walking back toward the entrance. With a sigh, I sank into my seat and rested my head on the steering wheel for a moment. I felt so overwhelmed, but I needed to push my feelings aside right now and focus on Bella. We rode in silence back to the house, but as soon as I had Bella in my arms to take her upstairs, her apologies sounded.

"Rosalie, you don't have to do this. I'm feeling so much better," she started before a coughing fit tore through her body.

"Bella, please, you aren't in any sort of condition to take care of yourself. Just rest and I'll go get you a glass of water."

Before she had a chance to protest, I placed her on my bed and was in the kitchen filling a glass. I returned to find Bella asleep at the foot on the bed. I gently shifted her so her head rested on a pillow and grabbed a blanket to cover her. She looked so pale and even more fragile lying there so still. I intended to stay there with her, but the ring tone of my phone pierced the silence and I rushed to leave the room before it disturbed Bella.

I didn't even bother to check who was calling before I answered my phone.

"Hello?"

"Rose, it's Alice, I keep getting conflicting visions. Sometimes I am sitting in a hospital looking at Bella in a bed and other times I am helping Jasper and Edward prank Emmett with a bear here. What is going on?"

"Well, long story short, Bella caught the flu and I am taking care of her until Carlisle gets home from the hospital tomorrow."

"Oh, well do you want us to come home? You don't really want to deal with a sick Bella by yourself do you. I mean, you two aren't exactly best friends."

It took a great deal of restraint for me to refrain from snapping back bitterly at Alice for that comment. I was already at my ropes' end from my frayed nerves and recent realizations and Alice's lack of support wasn't helping.

"No, you all just stay there, I can handle this and I can always call Carlisle if I need help. Bella and I are supposed to be bonding anyway. We'll just have to do it this way."

Alice failed to respond, even after I called her name a few times. Just when I was preparing to hang up on her, she spoke.

"Well, that was an interesting vision. I'll make sure to keep this from Edward. You and Bella do need some time together. See you in a few days Rosalie."

She ended the call before I had a chance to ask about her vision, though knowing Alice, she probably wouldn't have told me anyway. I went upstairs to wake Bella. She needed to take her medication and drink the glass of water. It took a little effort, but I managed to coax her from sleep.

"Bella, I know you're tired, but you need to take these," I spoke as I showed her the pills in my hand. "And you need to finish this glass of water. We'll try to get some food in you in a few hours."

She held out her hand for the pills, throwing them in her mouth before taking one large gulp of the water to wash them down. Something in my expression must have betrayed my internal musings, because Bella stared at me curiously.

"Rosalie, are you sure you don't mind taking care of me? I don't want to bother you."

"Bella, for the last time, you can't take care of yourself, so you are going to have to let me do it." I could hear the irritation creeping into my voice and I worked to reign it back in. I didn't need to upset her.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not used to people taking care of me. I'm so used to acting like the parent, it feels strange to be taken care of."

"It's fine Bella. Don't apologize for being sick. We shouldn't have kept you out in that weather yesterday. Now, finish your water and then you can go back to sleep."

I should have known better than to think I could distract Bella. She continued to talk.

"Well, if you really don't mind taking care of me, then what is bothering you? You've been so distracted since Carlisle took me into the examination room."

Edward had always praised Bella's perception, but I did not appreciate it until right now. I doubt anyone in my family, save for Jasper or Edward, both of whom could cheat, would have picked up on my distraction, and they were vampires. Here was Bella, still human and ill on top of that, and she knew something was wrong. I felt more than a little intimidated by her abilities. If she was this talented as a human, I stood no chance against her when she was a vampire.

"Rosalie? Are you going to tell me what's wrong? Or are you just going to stare at me all night? We're supposed to be bonding anyway, so we might as well talk."

Edward also always said that Bella never did or wanted what he expected. I should have known this morning when I assumed Bella wouldn't want to have a heart to heart with me that I would have been wrong.

"Bella, you really need to rest. Just finish your water. I'm fine."

"Fine. But once I wake up, we are going to talk about whatever is bothering you. We're family now, or close enough anyway, and that is what you do in a family. You help each other when something is wrong."

Her little tirade would have been more effective if she hadn't kept yawning through most of it.

"Alright Bella," I placated, "We'll talk about it after you've had some sleep and something to eat."

I tucked her back in the blanket and turned out the light, leaving the door open so I could better hear any sounds she might make. I returned to the piano and worked my way through "Moonlight Sonata" again, playing much more softly than I had this afternoon, trying to work out what I was going to say when Bella woke up. I figured I had at least a few hours and I hoped by then I would have come up with something believable to say instead of the truth. It was terrible enough to come to that realization; I didn't want to go through the humiliation and pain of admitting it, much less admitting it to Bella. No, I could come up with something before then. I had to.

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**A/N You might be a little confused at this point, but I thought it was important for Rosalie to have a chance to confront her fears and insecurities. Never fear though, she and Bella are going to have that heart to heart and attempt to work through some of Rosalie's issues. The next chapter marked the original end of the story, but there were just too many possibilities to leave it there- thus, it keeps going for quite a while.**

**As always reviews are welcomed and appreciated. Thanks for reading! ^_^**


	4. Finally Home

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N Well, dear readers. This chapter represented the original conclusion of "Find My Place." I initially ended it here because it felt most appropriate. However, as you have no doubt figured out by this point, I went ahead and took it further into the extended plot line. **

**I wanted Rosalie to have a chance to work through some of her inner demons. Bella may seem a little forceful, but I needed her to have a bit more gumption that she usually has in stories such as these. She is going to continue to get more and more courageous because she realizes the Cullens need her to be strong for them, even if they don't know it. Try not to let her slight OCCness detract from the main point of the story- which is the breaking down and the rebuilding of the Cullen family.**

**Reviews, as always, are appreciated.**

**Thanks for reading ^_^**

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**_RPOV- Friday June 22_**

I had been sitting at the piano for a little over an hour now and I still felt just as tense and distressed as when I first sat down. I kept waiting for the release of my emotions, but it never came. I wanted to pound on the keys and scream at the top of my lungs, protesting how unjust this whole situation was, but I couldn't, not with Bella sleeping upstairs. I had still come no closer to creating a believable lie to tell her either. I just couldn't think straight with all the thoughts and realizations rolling around in my head. My brain was in chaos and even if Edward were here, I doubt he could have made sense of any of it.

I had begun repeating "Kesson Daslef" by Aphex Twin over and over, getting lost in the repetitive themes, which seemed to mirror my thoughts. I felt like I was running through one of those funhouses with the mirrors and the tunnels, trying to find my way out, but only succeeding in getting lost further and further in the maze, loosing all hope of ever getting out. I felt myself sinking into despair; I had no idea how to fix any of this and there wasn't anyone I could talk to. I didn't have any friends I felt comfortable enough with and I couldn't go to anyone in the family for obvious reasons.

I just wanted to curl up in a ball, allowing the anguish to take over, and just stop fighting. I was so tired of fighting; I just didn't have the strength anymore. I only caused pain to the ones I loved and no one wanted me. I felt like one of the dolls I had when I was a human girl. They were pretty to look at, but soon I grew tired of them and shoved them up on shelf where they collected dust and their beauty faded. I was the doll of this family and now it was time to put me on the shelf. I was already damaged when I came into the family, and I had only cracked further in the years since. Now I was crumbling more and more by the minute and soon there would be nothing left of me worth repairing.

I didn't even realize I had stopped playing and was now sobbing into my hands. I cried for Emmett, who had to love such a broken person for all of these years; I cried for my siblings, who had to put up with me just because Carlisle couldn't let me die; I cried for Carlisle, for whom I was the one stain on his perfect record; I cried for Esme, who had lost her son, and had to make due with me as a daughter. Mostly, I cried for myself because here in the darkening hour of the day I saw the reality of my being for the first time; there was no light to blind people from my faults, no shadows to cover them up. There was only the ugly, bare truth. I, Rosalie Lillian Hale, was a tarnished wreck, too shattered to be whole ever again, undeserving of the life I had and condemned to an eternity of an existence which mocked my pain and suffering; there would be no escape for me, no relief from this torture, no end to my misery.

My sobs grew louder and longer and my body curled further into itself on the piano bench with each shudder that racked my frame. I was overcome with desolation. I don't know how long I had been weeping when I felt a hand run through my tangled tresses.

I bolted upright from the shock and swiftly turned around on the bench to face Bella, her hand frozen in the air, her eyes swimming with tears. She still looked pale and ill, but here she was, standing behind me. She did not look shocked by my sudden movement, rather pity and a burning desire to comfort radiated from her expression. I struggled to recover my mask of indifference, desperate to avoid what was coming next. I needn't have bothered because she shattered what little control I had over my raging emotions when she spoke.

"Oh Rose, just let it out. You've been holding it all in too long. Don't try to fight it anymore."

I dissolved into body shaking sobs, wailing into my hands, unable to hide anymore. I was too far gone at that point. I felt Bella tug weakly at one of my hands, trying to pull me off the bench. I raised my eyes to meet hers and watched as she motioned to the chaise lounge over in the corner. I followed dumbly and watched as she situated herself in the corner with the armrest, wrapping herself in the blanket I had just noticed she was carrying. She beckoned me to sit next to her and I all but collapsed by her side. She shifted me so my head was in her lap and she began to run her fingers through my hair as I continued sobbing.

"Shhhhhh, Rose. Shhhhhh," she cooed. I was still inconsolable, but Bella just sat there with me, waiting for me to regain my composure, stroking my hair all the while.

It could have been minutes or hours, but eventually I regained some semblance of control. My sobs grew quieter and less frequent, and my breath only hitched every so often. As I recovered from my emotional outburst, humiliation and horror replaced dejection and anguish. How could I have fallen apart in front of her like this? I lifted my head from her lap, avoiding her gaze, and began straightening my appearance, in attempt to regain control of the situation. Bella stilled my shaking hands.

"No, Rosalie. Don't put those walls back up. Don't hide from me. Tell me what's wrong. What has you so upset?"

I didn't want to answer her. I had just come down from the emotional rollercoaster and I was in no hurry to get back on it. I turned to face her, trying to avoid her eyes and failing miserably.

"Leave it be, Bella. It isn't any of your concern," I directed her. She was the last person I wanted to talk to right now, not to mention, she was still so very sick. I watched the anger and frustration flash in her eyes.

"Like hell it isn't my concern. You're my sister. I am sick and tired of everyone in this family telling me what is and isn't my concern. No, no more stalling, just tell me Rosalie," she all but shouted at me.

I was so surprised by her outburst that a few words slipped from my mouth before I had a chance to stop them.

"I'm broken," whispered, so softly I hoped she hadn't heard me.

"Rosalie?" Bella questioned, her voice laced with confusion. "I don't understand." Anger was replaced once again with pity as she tried to make sense of my statement.

I took a minute to decide if I really wanted to pour my heart out to Bella. I knew once I started, I wouldn't be able to stop; the words would flow from my mouth, unfiltered and unrestrained, until I had once again exhausted myself. Could I do this? Could I trust her to listen without judging? Or would she be disappointed in me, just like everyone else. Would she decide I wasn't worth the effort, or even worse, would she confirm my fear that she would take my place? I was locked in another internal battle and I didn't know how to return to reality.

"Just start at the beginning Rosalie. We'll go from there."

Her simple statement struck a chord within me. She wasn't going to make me stand alone. She was going to stand with me. That made all the difference. I had been standing alone for so long, against everyone, I had forgotten how much strength came from someone else supporting me. I should have known, Bella, more than anyone else, would recognize how feeling like an outsider would hinder my ability to verbalize what was wrong. Maybe I could tell her and maybe she would prove me wrong. Oh, how I wanted her to prove me wrong. I started to ramble through my thoughts before I knew it and Bella just sat there and listened, her eyes never leaving mine.

"I'm broken and I don't know that anyone can fix me. Even if they could, I don't know that they'd want to. I cause so many problems and no one ever stops to listen to my opinions. They are all so sure I am wrong. I don't belong here. I don't have a place. I think they only kept me because Carlisle feels so guilty for turning me. I never asked for this and I know I can never have what I want. I try to hold everything in, to protect everyone from how unhappy I am. They all love being vampires and they love each other. All I do is ruin everything. I just get so overwhelmed by how much was taken from me, knowing I can't ever be whole, that I can't deal with it. So I lash out, and I upset everyone. I don't know how to fix it.

I am such a disappointment to the family. I am bitter and hateful most of the time. I know I am and I'm sorry, but I just can't get past my frustration. And now you are here, and it's just making everything worse. It wasn't so bad before when everyone was worried about Edward. The spotlight wasn't on me, but now he's found you and that just throws how flawed I am into full relief. You're everything I was supposed to be in the family- the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect everything. You've already cemented your place, but even after almost a century, mine is tenuous at best. They are going to change you, and you are going to be so perfect, so much better than me, that they are going to realize they don't need me anymore. You're taking my place, and no one seems to care. Alice likes you better than me. Edward would gladly sacrifice me for you. Carlisle and Esme already consider you their daughter. You and Jasper have so much in common that once you can be close, he'll like you better. Even Emmett will be happier once you're really part of the family. No one will choose me when they can pick you.

It isn't my fault I am like this. No one ever asked me what I wanted. Not Royce, not Carlisle. I just wanted a family and now when I finally felt like maybe I could have that, not the way I wanted, but a family nonetheless, it is all being taken away again. I can't take anymore. Everyone is tired of me and I have to stand alone against my family because I don't want this for you. I don't want you to regret being changed in ten or twenty year because you finally realize you want a family. No one should have to feel this way. No one should be this shattered. I'm broken and no one wants to fix me because I am not worth it."

I was speaking so quickly by the end of my outburst, I wasn't sure Bella was actually understanding anything I was saying. I wasn't even sure if I was making any sense. I was so confused, so how was I supposed to explain what I was feeling to someone else. I avoided looking at Bella because I know I must have hurt her at some point during my rant and I just couldn't look into her eyes and see the pain I caused. I stood up to leave the room. I just couldn't be in here anymore.

"Rosalie, look at me," she commanded. "Turn around and look at me."

I could hear the fury in her voice and I wanted to be anywhere but in that room with her. Didn't she see how shattered I was already? I couldn't take anymore.

"Rosalie, I won't ask again. Turn around right now and look at me."

The ferocity of her demand surprised me and I found myself turning to look at her. She looked so angry, and she had tears streaming down her cheeks. If I had not been so upset, I would I have laughed as Edward's tiger kitten analogy floated through my mind. Angry and distressed though she may be, Bella was still curled up on the chaise in her blanket, looking as ill as she had when I brought her home a few hours ago. I was amazed she had the strength to order me around in her current state. She beckoned me to her and motioned for me to kneel in front of the chaise.

When I settled on my knees I was just about at eye level with her. I was startled when she reached forward and grasped my face between her hands, forcing me to maintain eye contact as she spoke in a hoarse whisper.

"I want you to listen and listen well to what I am about to say Rosalie," she began. "First of all, you may be damaged, but you are not broken and you are certainly not irreparable. The last moments of your human life were horrific. Your innocence, your hopes and dreams, were all cruelly torn from you and anyone who does not allow you to grieve for what you have lost is not worth your time.

No one in this family is disappointed in you because of how you've reacted to your past. They are disappointed because they can't find a way to help you. You are invaluable. You were Esme's first daughter, and as such, you will always hold a special place in her heart that no one else can ever fill. You taught Carlisle a lesson in humility, showing him that he must carefully consider his actions to avoid playing god. He regrets changing you because you are unhappy, but he is also glad he changed you because you keep Edward balanced and you make Emmett so happy. You and Jasper may only pretend to be twins, but you two are so connected that you may as well have been twins in your human lives. You are the only one in this family that can appreciate his struggle because you have your own equally challenging struggle. I know you feel like Alice prefers me, but she really just wants to avoid causing you more pain. She is so content being a vampire; she doesn't want to taunt you with her happiness, knowing how much you want to be human.

Your family needs you. You fight for them; you protect them; and most importantly, you love them. The Cullens aren't the Cullens with out you. You say that you feel as though you don't fit, like you can't find your place, but you have one, whether or not you can see it. Carlisle is the patriarch- Esme, the matriarch. They are the loving parents who dote on their children and rejoice in their family. Edward is the "first born" son who can do no wrong. Emmett is the jokester and the big brother. Alice is the lovable little pixie who keeps us all in style. Jasper uses his talent to understand us, always providing a shoulder to cry on when we can't handle our problems alone. And then there is you Rosalie. You remind your family just how precious humanity is. You show them why it is important to maintain the human façade, because it isn't really a façade at all. You, more than anyone else, appreciate what it is to be human, and you inspire them to show the same level of awareness. You keep your family grounded, because with out you, they would not know the true value of humanity. Without your emphasis on those qualities that denote humanity, your family would not and could not exist. You show them what it is to suffer, what it is to love despite anguish, what it is to be a part of a family. You are not heartless. You suffer alone so that your family can be happy. You love them more than you love yourself, and I never want you to believe anything else.

I could never replace you and I would never want to. I need you. You are my sister. I've never had anyone take care of me, not really. Edward protects me, but that isn't the same thing. I understand now that you never really disapproved of me because you didn't like me. That was never the problem. You wanted to ensure I didn't suffer. I'm sorry you felt like an outsider in your family just because you wanted to save me from your pain. I am even more sorry that they didn't recognize what you were doing and that they sided against you, making you feel unwanted and unloved. You and I agreed long ago to disagree on my becoming a vampire, but I want you to know that I did listen to what you said, and I did think about it long and hard. I know what a struggle this has been for you. I know what you were forced to give up.

I grew up without what I would really consider a family. My parents divorced early and I never really had a chance to be a child. I took care of my mom, making sure the bills were paid, keeping food in the house and even when I came to live with Charlie I was much more of a parent to him than he was to me. I have been the parent, and now I am enjoying being one of the children for once. For the first time, with your family, I feel like I don't have to take care of anything. I have siblings who are looking out for me, and parents that act like parents. But until I am a vampire, I am never really going to be part of the family. I can't play baseball, I can't be close to Jasper, and I am so very limited in comparison to all of you. I have been given the choice, and I choose all of you, because for once, I feel like I might actually have found where I belong, where I fit.

But, I need you to feel like you fit too, because I won't take anything else away from you. You need to see that you are wanted and needed and that no one can take your place. You are a beloved daughter, an adored wife and a treasured sibling. You are Rosalie Lillian Hale and no one can ever replace you. You are beautiful not only on the outside, but inside as well, because you value humanity and you inspire others to do the same.

It may not be today, or tomorrow, but someday, you are going to be whole again, because you are too strong to ever let anything defeat you, and you are too important to your family and to me for us to let you stay broken. You don't have to stand alone anymore Rosalie."

I never once looked away while Bella was speaking, but my mind was working a mile a minute. I vehemently grasped onto the lifeline she threw me, praying the sparkle of hope she ignited would last. Maybe she was right. Maybe I wasn't alone. If my family had stuck with me this long, surely they must love me in spite of my faults. Bella wasn't going to take my place; she had her own role to fulfill. She saw through pretenses and laid bare the truth. She would keep the family grounded in reality and not allow us to hide from each other. I searched her eyes for any sign of deception, but what I found there finally soothed my battered soul. There in her eyes I saw that Bella thought I was something precious and worth protecting. I was worth saving. I was worth fixing. In her eyes I saw confirmation that I would not be shattered forever.

Reminiscent of Bella's actions a few weeks previous, I threw myself into her lap, holding her waist, and sobbing once again, only this time the tears were not tears of desperation and loneliness; they were tears of relief and hope. As emotionally drained as I was, I recognized the flutter of happiness rising inside of me and before I could stop it, a giggle of elation escaped me. Bella just continued to hold me, giggling with me. When I controlled my crying, I pulled back and gave her a smile so huge I felt it might crack my face. Bella returned my smile and we just sat there grinning like idiots for a few minutes, having finally bonded with each other.

The tenderness of the moment was interrupted by a coughing fit. Despite our new revelations, Bella was still sick and needed to be cared for.

"Thank you," I expressed sincerely. "I have been lost for so long, I didn't think I was ever going to find my way back. You saved me from myself and helped me find my place. I'll never be able to repay you."

"You're welcome Rosalie," she responded once her coughing ended.

"Now, let's get you back into bed. Do you think you can keep down some chicken soup?"

She nodded and I picked her up and carried her back to my room, propping her up with the pillows and tucking her in under the blankets. She sighed happily in her cocoon of warmth and I made my way back to the kitchen to prepare her meal. I pulled out a container of frozen broth Esme kept on hand for Bella and proceeded to add some fresh vegetables and chicken. While the soup simmered on the stove, I rang Carlisle.

"Hello?"

"Carlisle, it's Rosalie."

"Rosalie dear, thank you for calling. Is Bella feeling any better?"

"I think so. She's slept off and on since we got home. I've been keeping her hydrated and now I am going to see if she can keep down some chicken soup."

"I am impressed Rosalie. It sounds as though you are doing an excellent job caring for Bella. I am so relieved to know she is home with you. I may have to stay a little longer tomorrow; there are several cases that need my personal attention, but I should be home by late afternoon. Will you be all right alone with Bella until then?"

"Don't worry, Carlisle. Bella and I will be fine until you return."

"Very well then. I'll see you when I get home."

"See you tomorrow."

"Goodbye, Rosalie. I am so proud of you."

He ended the call before I could respond, but I felt my happiness bubble over again. This time I did not dissolve into worrying. No, now when I heard Carlisle's praise I knew he loved me and was proud I was a part of his family. I was about to ready the tray for Bella when I heard my phone indicate that I had received a text message.

I flipped open the phone to look at the screen and smiled at the message.

_I'm proud to call you my sister. I love you Rosie! XOXO ~A_

I realized Alice must have seen a vision of either my breakdown or my discussion with Bella. She knew I needed someone to talk to, and I never would have opened up with anyone in the family. Bella was the only person who was going to help, so Alice made sure we had the chance to talk. I would have to thank Emmett later for forcing me into this bonding weekend. I felt more relieved and uninhibited than I had in several decades.

"Rosalie?" Bella called from upstairs. "Would it be too much trouble for me to eat in the music room while you played?"

I smiled at the thought of playing for an audience for the first time in many years. I sprinted upstairs to Bella.

"No, it's no trouble at all."

I brought her, blankets and all, back to the chaise and settled her in before returning to the kitchen for her tray. Once Bella was happily slurping her soup, I arranged myself at the piano.

"Is there anything in particular you want to hear me play?"

"No, Rose, you just play whatever makes you happy."

I thought for a minute, before I launched into a rousing rendition of Pachelbel's "Canon in D." This song had played at my first wedding, and it always brought back fond and happy memories.

"You should play more Rosalie. You look so carefree and happy."

I nodded my head in agreement as I continued to play, enjoying pouring happiness into the music for once. I carried on for nearly an hour and Bella just sat, listening to me play with a smile on her face. I chuckled to myself as I watched her eyes slowly blink and her head sink into the pillow on the edge of the chaise. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep to the sound of Brahms' "Lullaby." I allowed the final note to ring out pure and clean before I walked over to Bella and removed the tray from her lap.

She didn't even stir as I carried her upstairs, but I noticed her fever returning. Even when she was feeling poorly, she pushed aside her own discomfort to help soothe me. I held her in my arms like a child, placing her overheated forehead into the crook of my neck to cool her off. She unconsciously snuggled into my wintry embrace, relaxing even more at the feeling of my skin. I sat with her in my arms, enjoying being able to comfort her, like I would have comforted my children if they had been ill.

I felt a tiny piece of my broken soul return to its place and I knew Bella was right. It might not be today, or even tomorrow, but someday, I was going to whole again. For now, I would comfort Bella, and in a few days, I would embrace my darling Emmett and bask in the glory that was my family. I was Rosalie Lillian Hale- beautiful and tenacious- beloved daughter, adored wife and treasured sibling- and first the first time in my stretch of eternity, I truly felt like I was home and I had found the place where I belonged.

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**A/N:**

**Please take the time to review. Thanks for reading! ^_^**


	5. Author's Note

**A/N: Originally an author's note marking the end of the story. Please proceed to the next chapter.  
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	6. Simple Pleasures

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N This chapter represents the initial continuation of Find My Place. If you were happy with the ending in the 4th chapter, you can just ignore the rest, but I felt like there were several other plot lines I left open with that ending and I thought I would take this opportunity to explore one of them. This chapter deals more with Bella's illness, a few more fluffy bonding moments, and ends with a conversation with Carlisle. I am really enjoying giving Rosalie a little more personality and her ever-present insecurities. I'll explore more of Bella's personality in the coming chapters.**

**As always, thank you for reading and reviewing. It makes my day to read your reviews and to get e-mail that someone has added this story to their favorites. Feel free to submit constructive criticism as well.  
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**Happy reading! ^_^**

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**_RPOV Saturday June 23_**

I must have lost track of time watching Bella sleep. After what seemed only a few minutes, the trees in the forest were painted a glorious gold by the sunrise. Bella's fever had cycled several times, once spiking so high I was worried we would have to return to the hospital. Even at this moment, she was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, trying once again to break the fever ravaging her system. I had held her so long even my body had lost much of its wintry feeling. I supposed I would have been more or less considered lukewarm now. In short, we were both in desperate need of a shower and some clean clothes.

I hated to wake her, but Bella needed to drink some more fluids, take her medication, and if possible, try to eat something. I called her name as I gently shook her and after several minutes her eyes fluttered and then finally opened. Her brow wrinkled in confusion, as though she couldn't remember why I was cradling her to my body.

"Bella?" I questioned, trying to coerce her into speaking.

Her chocolate orbs slid to my face, out of focus and hazy with pain. If I thought she looked miserable yesterday at the hospital, it was nothing compared to how she looked now.

"Rose," she croaked. "What…what's going on?"

"Bella, you're sick, remember?" I attempted to jog her memory.

"I know. I remember yesterday. But, why are you holding me?"

I hesitated a moment before answering her. Had I overstepped some boundary? Didn't Edward hold her like this all the time? Hadn't Alice held her like this as some point?

"Umm, well, you have a fever and I thought this would be the easiest way to cool you down."

"You held me all night?" her voice wavered a little as she asked.

"Yes?" I answered as more of a question than a statement, not knowing where she was going with her question.

Her eyes swan with tears now, but she smiled as she whispered. "I can't believe you held me all night. Thank you, Rose."

I returned her smile as I took another look at her now trembling form. My smile morphed into a frown.

"Oh Bella. What are we going to do with you? Do you think you can eat something?"

"Um, maybe some toast," she all but whimpered.

I nodded in agreement as I lifted her back in my arms to carry her down to the kitchen. If I had learned nothing else over the past years, I knew it was dangerous to leave Bella unattended when she was conscious, even if she was all but incapacitated. She really was a danger magnet. It would have been my luck she would have tangled herself in the sheets, fallen off the bed, hit the corner of the nightstand, given her self a concussion, and caused some part of her body to bleed. I smirked imagining the scenarios that would seem virtually improbable for anyone else, but which were not only probable, but also highly likely for Bella.

She must have caught my smirk. "You're imagining all the different ways I could have hurt myself if you weren't carrying me, aren't you?" she teased weakly.

I allowed a chuckle to slip through, before I settled my face back into an expression of concern. Once I had Bella situated on a stool, I flitted about the kitchen, grabbing her medication and a loaf of bread. I took out two slices and walked over to the toaster oven. Now, I was almost a century old, but having never needed to use such a device, the toaster oven puzzled me. There were three knobs, and I knew some combination of them would produce the toast I was attempting to make, but I had no idea what that combination was. Esme or Edward usually prepared Bella's meals. I remembered enough of my human life to put together the soup last night; thankfully soup making had not changed over the last century. I continued to stare at the offending appliance, willing it to somehow indicate to me what I was supposed to do.

"Just put the toast on the rack and turn the middle knob to medium." Bella's voice came floating over, containing a trace of amusement.

I knew it must be vastly entertaining for her, when in the presence of seven extraordinary vampires, who continually surpassed her in skills, to see all but two of us struggle with something she viewed as trivial as making toast. I did as she instructed and then placed her medication in front of her.

"What do you want to drink? More water?"

"Is there any orange juice? Maybe the Vitamin C will help."

"Well, it certainly wont hurt," I answered, having no idea how mistaken I would be in a little less than an hour.

Bella sat munching on her toast and sipping her juice for about half an hour. I normally would have been more than slightly irritated by her slow pace, but I knew she was trying to avoid upsetting her stomach and that swallowing wasn't particularly comfortable for her at the moment. I made a mental note to call Carlisle and ask him to bring home some popsicles for Bella. I was sure he wouldn't mind running by the store.

I should have known the morning was going too well. I should have expected some sort of crisis to happen. I mean, seriously, this was Bella. Asking for more than twenty minutes of crisis free time was really asking for a miracle. My first indication that all was not well was the slight green tint now gracing Bella's very pale visage. The second were the new beads of sweat dotting her brow. And the third, the slightly strangled sounds coming from her throat. Before I could even ask her what was wrong, she flew from the stool, and with more grace than I knew she possessed, tore down the hallway in the direction of the bathroom. I was immediately assaulted simultaneously by the sound of her heaving and the smell as it wafted to where I was standing, stunned by this turn of events.

I was broken from my frozen trance by the sounds coming from Bella. She was sobbing, in between her hiccups and continued retching. I swiftly made my way to her side, worried by the sobbing. It seemed a sort of déjà vu to find Bella limbs akimbo on the bathroom floor. This time, however, her head was hung over the toilet. I soon discovered why she was sobbing, and I was shocked I hadn't noticed it before. Mixed in with the vomit, Bella was coughing up blood. Between the violent coughing fits, the acidic orange juice she had for breakfast, and the stomach acid from heaving, she had caused enough damage to her soft tissues to produce some minor bleeding.

I still couldn't decide why Bella was sobbing. It could have been from the pain, or it could have been in fear of my reaction. There was no one here to protect her if my baser instincts kicked in. What she didn't know was that attacking her was the last thing on my mind right now. She was quite a mess, half covered in her regurgitated breakfast, tears falling freely from her eyes. I didn't think she was even aware of my presence because when she turned her head to rest it on the cold porcelain and caught sight of me, her eyes widened and her expression turned from fear and pain to outright terror as she started to hyperventilate.

"Bella," I soothed. "Bella, you're fine. Just calm down. Deep breaths. There is nothing to be afraid of. It's okay."

Whether it was Bella noticing my eyes were still bright butterscotch, my words, or her own efforts, eventually her breathing even out, only interrupted by the occasional sob and hiccup.

"Did you really think I was going to hurt you, Bella?"

She shook her head implying she didn't. Then in a pained and gravely voice she spoke.

"You just scared me and it hurts, like my throat is burning and then I couldn't breath, and, and…" she stuttered as she started to hiccup uncontrollably again.

"Maybe orange juice wasn't the best idea."

She shook her head in agreement this time. Between the vomit and spending the night sweating, Bella was in desperate need of a bath now. For what seemed like the millionth time since last night, I gathered Bella in my arms, and the trooped back up the stairs to Esme's bathroom. Bella looked at me with confusion when I sat her next to the tub and proceed to strip off her clothing. She couldn't even work up enough blood to blush properly.

"Relax Bella. I am going to leave on your underwear, but you can't possibly want to keep on this foul shirt anymore."

Her struggles ceased when she was satisfied I wasn't going to strip her naked. Honestly, we may be closer now, but a naked Bella was something I really didn't want to see. When I had removed her top and bottoms I sat her in the tub as I ran a lukewarm bath. While she sat waiting in the filling tub, I began to remove my own clothing, silently thanking the powers above that I had worn one of my more discrete bra and panty sets. Bella was already giving me a look of disbelief while I stripped as it was. I could only imagine what her expression would have been if I had on some of my more exotic lingerie.

"Um, Rose? What are you doing?"

"Bella, honestly, do you think, in your condition, I would let you sit alone in a tub full of water. There is no telling how many ways you could injure yourself if left unattended."

She looked a little annoyed at this statement, but did not comment. I climbed gracefully into the tub, sitting opposite Bella. I wish I could have run the water hotter, but Bella still needed to cool down, so lukewarm it was.

"You just sit there and soak. I am going to wash my hair. Try not to drown." I instructed her with an indulging smile. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the side of the tub. I washed my own hair quickly, knowing every minute I was in the tub I was sucking out what little heat was in the water. Bella needed to cool off, not get hypothermia.

"Bella, turn around so I can wash your hair."

She looked at me with one eyebrow raised, before shrugging her shoulders and turning around to allow me access to her brown locks. I took my time washing her hair, making sure I was gentle, not only because she was human, but also because I didn't want to set off her nausea again. Bella relaxed further under my attention. Once her hair was washed and piled on top of her head secured by a clip, I handed her a loofah and a bottle of Esme's favorite body wash before grabbing my own. We both washed up and I left Bella in the tub as I stepped out, wrapping myself in a towel, before turning around and helping Bella stand and then wrapping her in a towel of her own.

I carried her back to my room where I sat her on the bed while I scavenged through my closet for something for the two of us to wear. I figured she could spend the rest of the day in pajamas, so I scrounged around until I unearthed a blue silk nightdress and matching robe set. Bella cocked an eyebrow at my choice, but I reminded her that she hadn't brought any of her own clothes and that her other option was to choose from the closet full of fashionable clothes Alice insisted upon buying for her and storing at our house for the purpose of Bella Barbie. She was already uncomfortable with the fact that she was going to have to wear some of the fancy French underwear from the Bella Barbie collection so she gladly consented to wear the nightgown, knowing it would be more comfortable than anything in the closet.

Against my better judgment I left her in my bedroom while I scurried off to the bathroom to change into the jeans and shirt I chose for myself. I was only gone for all of two minutes, but it had already been demonstrated today that thirty seconds was more than enough time for Bella to find herself in trouble. With both of us now properly attired, I returned to my bedroom to find Bella in the nightgown and in the process of putting on the robe. Thankfully, the bath had cooled her off and it looked like, at least for now, her fever had subsided. I grabbed my brush and comb from the dresser as I walked toward her. I situated Bella in the middle of the bed and knelt behind her. She looked like she was going to fall asleep again, and I needed to brush out the tangles in her hair before she settled down for the afternoon or she'd never get them out later. With precision, I combed the knots from her hair, smoothing out the curls that had already begun to form and wringing out the excess water.

I was about to start taming my own unruly locks when Bella turned around and took the brush from my hand.

"Do you mind?" she asked motioning to my hair with the brush. I was momentarily stunned, trying to remember the last time anyone but myself had brushed my hair. It must have been in the early days after Alice and Jasper joined the family. I suppose I was the original Barbie, but I had little patience for some of Alice's crazier idea, so our make over sessions had only lasted a few years.

I turned around, signaling my consent and sighed as Bella stroked the brush through my hair for the first time. I had forgotten how soothing it was for someone to brush my hair. Esme had done this frequently when I was a newborn to calm me, but once I was in full control of my nature, she too had stopped. Bella worked slowly and carefully through my hair, coaxing out the knots and using the brush to curl under the ends. Again, her powers of observation astounded me. I doubt anyone else in the family even took notice that I brushed my hair in such a way to curl under the ends, but Bella had, and now she was adapting her own methods to achieve the same result. I smiled at her thoughtfulness.

She spent much longer on my hair than I had on hers, and I felt a little guilty. It occurred to me that Bella probably didn't have anyone to do this for her either. From what I had gathered about Renée, she didn't seem the type to sit and brush her daughter's hair just for the sake of relieving tension or stress. Even Alice playing Bella Barbie wouldn't have the same effect since Bella Barbie usually just made Bella more stressed. I decided then that this would be the first thing that Bella and I had just for each other. She was at the house often enough that I had no doubt there would be at least one occasion a week where I could sit down with her for an hour or so and just brush her hair and talk. It would be good for us both.

Bella seemed to have latched on to the same idea. "We should do this more often," she stated. "It's nice to just enjoy the simple things in life."

I shook my head in agreement as I reached behind me to still her hand, grabbing the brush and placing it on the bed between us. We exchanged smiles. I darted downstairs to grab her a cold glass of water and was back before she even realized I'd moved. I handed her the cool glass and instructed her to may herself comfortable in the bed. Snatching several books from my bookshelf, I offered them to her, smirking as she chose a trashy romance novel about vampires.

"This should be interesting," she mused, flashing me a wry smile.

"Oh it is," I assured her as I settled in the chair next to the bed with my own book, one of my favorites, _Gone With The Wind_. It always reminded me of Jasper when I read it. I always entertained myself imagining him in his uniform. Bella and I sat in comfortable silence for a few hours before she nodded off again. I knew she was exhausted because she fell asleep with the book open in her lap, hand resting on the corner of the page, as though she were about the turn it. I repositioned her so she would be more comfortable sleeping before stepping outside my room to call Carlisle. It was reaching noon and he should have been coming home in the next few hours. I needed to ask him to bring Bella some popsicles, which she would appreciate even more now, her throat being so raw.

The phone rang several times before the ladies at the front desk answered and transferred me through to Carlisle.

"Hello? Dr. Carlisle Cullen speaking."

"Hi, Carlisle."

"Oh, Rosalie dear. How is everything at home?"

"Well, Bella vomited again after she ate a light breakfast this morning. Between that and the coughing yesterday I think some blood vessel in her throat have ruptured because she also vomited some blood. It wasn't enough to cause much concern, but I think she would appreciate it if you ran by the store on your way home and bought some popsicles."

"Hmm, I'll have to give her a short examination when I return to the house to make sure she isn't causing irreparable damage. But, yes, I think you are right. Popsicles would help soothe her and it would just be another way to increase her fluid intake."

"She's had several glasses of water already, but I just can't seem to get her to keep down solid foods today. When will you be home?"

"Actually, I am glad you called. I've finished up my cases for today, so I'll be returning to the house within the hour. I'll stop by the store on the way. Did Bella indicate any preference for flavors?"

"Well, she's asleep now and I never actually mentioned the idea to her earlier. Maybe an assortment would be best. There is no telling what flavor she prefers."

"Very well. I'll call you when I've finished at the store. Thank you again, Rosalie. I'll see you girls at home."

"Bye, Carlisle."

After closing my phone, I let out a sigh. In just one short hour, I would no longer be Bella's primary caregiver. I couldn't decide if the sigh was one of relief or disappointment. On the one hand, I was glad that I would have Carlisle's expertise at my disposal, but on the other hand, I was enjoying spending time with only Bella. It was a rare occurrence that anyone in this family spent quality time with only one other person who wasn't their mate. I settled on anxious anticipation. I was interested to see how the dynamic between Bella and myself changed once another member of the family was present. Would we continue on the path toward friendship, or would we be thrown back to being the dividing force between the family? At this point, I didn't think I could handle reverting back to our previous relationship. I finally recognized that I needed Bella just as much as everyone else in the family and I was in no hurry to have to let her go.

I returned to my chair, watching Bella sleep as I continued reading my book, listening carefully for the telltale signs of Carlisle's return. The hour drug on and on and if my heart could beat, it would have been racing when I heard the Mercedes pull into the driveway and Carlisle call my name from the garage. It was now or never. I sent up one final prayer that my fledgling relationship with Bella would survive through the next few days. Carlisle would be the first test. I squared my shoulders and glided down the stairs to meet him.

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**A/N: So, the next chapter will deal with Carlisle's reaction to Rosalie and Bella's friendship as well as more of Bella's illness. The chapter after that one will begin the response of the family to Rosalie's treatment of Bella and there will be several surprises in store. Reviews are always appreciated! Thanks for reading! ^_^**


	7. Initial Reactions

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: This chapter details Carlisle's reactions to the past events in the story and also his reaction to the new friendship between Bella and Rosalie. The first part of the chapter is told from his point of view and the last little bit reverts back to Rosalie's POV.  
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**Thank you again to all those who read, review, favorite, or story alert this fic. It really makes my day to know people are enjoying what I am writing. Reviews are always appreciated as are suggestions and criticisms.**

**Happy reading ^_^**

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_**CPOV- Saturday June 23  
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I placed the phone back on the receiver, exhaling unnecessarily. It was times such as this I felt most human. Never in my existence as a vampire had I cause to worry over the health of my family. Now, with the addition of Bella, I was exceptionally glad vampires did not go grey. I already experienced the worry of a parent with teenage children; frankly, I was amazed by the intensity of my worry for Bella. I suppose since I knew my other children were virtually indestructible any mischief they got themselves into generally could be sorted out with minimal effort, and at most, a move to another city.

With Bella came the possibility of fatal injury, diseases, and constant worry over her fragility as a human. If the option had been available, I would have returned home with her and Rosalie last night. To say I was hesitant to leave her with Rosalie would be gross understatement. Not only did Rosalie extend the least welcome of any member of our family, she also made her less than savory opinion of Bella joining the family on a more permanent basis abundantly clear at every opportunity. My daughter was nothing if not brutally honest; I only wished she possessed a little more tact.

Even more than her personal opinion of Bella, Rosalie's behavior last night gave me good cause to worry. While it was commonplace to see Alice loose focus on her immediate environment for extended periods of time, it was a rare occurrence to see my eldest daughter act in such a manner. I was even more puzzled by her reaction when I called her name with more force than usual to regain her lost attention. Of all of my children, Rosalie generally needed the least reassurance of herself, but when her eyes focused on my face I could see evidence of horror and anxiety marring her generally clear gaze. Very little rattled Rosalie sufficiently to produce a discernible external reaction. Whatever had been going on in her head had been unpleasant at best.

As a father, I felt compelled to care for and comfort all of my children, no matter the circumstances. I was more than shocked when Rosalie denied my offer to phone the family, and I was completely floored when Bella rebuffed me as they were leaving the hospital. Based upon their past behavior and preferences, I felt I was giving both of my girls the opportunity to avoid a situation I assumed they would find uncomfortable and potentially unpleasant. I wanted to spare them the conflict that would ensue if either chose to reject the company of the other. I was at a loss of what to make of the situation.

I felt a little reassured when Rosalie phoned later that evening to update me on Bella's condition. From her tone, I could discern that whatever had been bothering her previously had either been dealt with, or had been compartmentalized, a form of coping Rosalie relied on heavily. It worried me that my daughter would not confront, or did not feel comfortable voicing her issues. Of all my children, she proved the most difficult to understand.

Truthfully, I had been expecting her to put up more of a fight at the bonding weekend her siblings had set up for her and Bella. I had faith she would come to appreciate Bella over time, but I did not feel forced interaction would be beneficial to either party. Obviously, my judgment in this area was off the mark.

After this last conversation with Rosalie, I could detect her concern for Bella's welfare had grown from concern for avoiding conflict with the family should her care prove detrimental to Bella's health to concern for a member of her family. Rosalie would have done nothing above the bare minimum if she still maintained her previous opinion of Bella. Her suggestion of popsicles demonstrated a change in their relationship. What that change was and the implications it would produce had yet to be determined.

I wanted to believe the best of my daughters, but I knew the precarious tolerance that existed between them could be shattered by one careless action by either individual. Should the break occur, I was worried Bella would fear the family would leave her again upon Rosalie's request. We would never repeat our past mistake, but if Bella feared such a course of action, her progress recovering from the previous months would be retarded, if not halted.

More pressing was my worry for Rosalie. I knew in the case of a falling out between her and Bella, the entire family, including myself, would undoubtedly use all tactics necessary to reassure Bella, even if that meant turning Rosalie into a sacrificial lamb of sorts. Her happiness and contentment would be sacrificed for the sake of Bella. She would be the only member to oppose Bella's joining of the family and as such, would feel like an outsider. I had a suspicion she already felt this way, but I had yet to discover a method of brining up that suspicion in conversation without causing her to go on the defensive. Rosalie on the warpath was a force with which to be reckoned.

I let out another sigh. I had no idea what would await me at home. I used the few moments it took me to complete my paperwork to reign in my worry. I could do nothing here at the hospital working through every scenario and outcome I could imagine. I needed to finish my work here and return home, where I could confront the situation head on and deal with facts instead of conjecture. Within the quarter hour, I had completed all the tasks required for the conclusion of my shift and was walking out the door towards the Mercedes.

As per Rosalie's suggestion, I took a short detour to the market to purchase popsicles to ease Bella's discomfort. I made my way toward the frozen novelties section, confidant I would be finished with this excursion and on my way home within a matter of minutes. Had I been in the habit of using expletives to express my unhappiness, a sailor on leave could have taken lessons from me when I came to stand before the freezer case. Where I expected to have a handful of options there existed no less than twenty different boxes of popsicles. Some were sugar-free; others were made from fruit juice. I even discovered one box where the frozen treats were shaped like the colored wax drawing utensils I provided for my juvenile patients.

I wished Esme were still in an area which had cell coverage. She, no doubt, would be able to look at this plethora of popsicles and immediately choose those best suited for Bella. Without her expertise in this area, I could only draw on my knowledge as a doctor. After careful consideration, I chose a box that contained an assortment of popsicles made from natural fruit juice with no added sugar. I was fairly confident Bella would find at least one flavor to her liking and if necessary, I would return to the store to purchase more to provide her with her preferred popsicle.

After completing my transaction, I returned to the car and began the trek back to the house. I half expected Rosalie to be standing on the porch, eagerly awaiting my arrival and her chance to be relieved from her Bella-sitting duties. Seeing no sign of her outside of the house, I carefully parked the Mercedes next to her M3, called her name, and after hearing no response, proceeded into the house. I entered the house, still detecting no indication Rosalie was downstairs. I placed the popsicles in the freezer, and I had just made my way into the living room when I spotted Rosalie descending the stairs.

From her visage, I could detect nothing to cause immediate alarm. She looked anxious, but there could be a number of reasons for her experiencing that particular emotion. I was proud of my daughter; from what I could perceive, she had taken quite nicely to the role of Bella's caregiver.

"Good afternoon Rosalie."

"Did you remember Bella's popsicles?"

I fought back a chuckle. I never would have thought Rosalie would be so concerned with something so trivial as popsicles as to cause a change in our usual pattern of greeting each other. With her mother, and myself, she maintained many of the formal customs as had been convention in her time regarding familiar behavior. I suspected her adherence to those customs helped her to cement the familial relationship and feel more assured of our role as her parents. Rosalie, above all else, was concerned with her family. If treating Esme, and myself as she would have her biological parents during her human life made her feel more secure, I was more than happy to follow her lead. Generally, Rosalie would have returned my greeting, welcomed me home and then politely inquired as to my day.

"Yes, Rosalie. They are in the freezer. How is Bella?"

I watched as her eyes softened and she turned her head upstairs before she spoke.

"She's asleep now, but I really think you should take a look at her. I know I've had medical training, but I might not have done something I should have, and you're the expert, so you will be able to do more for her than I've been able to."

She was rambling, something Rosalie only did when she was nervous. I tried to assuage her fears before she worked herself into a state.

"Rosalie, I know Bella has been well taken care of under your watch. Why don't we go upstairs? I need to retrieve my bag from the office and then I'll take a look at her."

She nodded in agreement and we made our way upstairs. After procuring my medical bag from the office, I walked with Rosalie down the hall toward the staircase leading to the third floor and consequently to Edward's bedroom, assuming this would be where Bella had been convalescing during her stay. I was shocked when Rosalie placed her hand on my arm to stop me when I had passed her and Emmett's room. I looked at her quizzically, but she did not respond to my gaze, merely leading me into her room where I discovered Bella fast asleep, cuddling Rosalie's pillow with the blankets kicked to the floor.

I watched in fascination as Rosalie made her way to the bed, sitting beside Bella's prone form. She ran her fingers softly through Bella's hair, murmuring to her all the while. It took a moment before Bella began to stir, but when she finally opened her eyes and saw Rosalie, a smile graced her pale face and she leaned into Rosalie's touch, as though she took comfort from it. Rosalie looked on with a tenderness I had only seen in her previously with Emmett.

"Bella, how do you feel?" Rosalie questioned.

"Better than before," Bella all but whispered. I winced at the gravely quality of her voice. "My throat still hurts, but I don't feel quite so weak."

"Carlisle's here. He brought you some popsicles to help your throat."

Bella must have been unaware of my presence until Rosalie mentioned me. She looked a little startled, but offered me a small smile after she recovered from her initial shock.

"Hello Bella dear. I would like to give you a short examination, if you are agreeable."

She nodded her consent and I made my way to her side. Rosalie began to stand, but Bella placed her tiny hand on Rosalie's arm, as if to convey she wanted her to stay. Rosalie smiled indulgently, settling back next to Bella and continuing to play with her hair. I made short work of my examination, frowning at the condition of Bella's throat, but pleased with the improvement of her lungs. She appeared to be on the mend, even if she still looked every bit as ill as she had last night.

"Thank you for the popsicles, Carlisle," she whispered to me.

"You are welcome, Bella, but you should be thanking Rosalie; it was her idea." I was surprised my eldest daughter had not immediately taken credit for her idea, but I was also immeasurably proud of her restraint. She was more concerned with Bella's wellbeing than her own glory, an occurrence I would have never imagined possible before today.

"She took good care of me, Carlisle, just like I said she would." With that statement, I knew Bella was feeling better. I was thankful she felt well enough and also comfortable enough with me to regain some of her spirit. Bella was always respectful, but like Alice, she was not above playfully teasing myself or Esme. I smiled at her and she grinned impishly in return.

"Bella, do you want a popsicle?" Rosalie offered.

"Purple?" Bella questioned in response.

"Purple it is," I confirmed. I motioned for Rosalie to stay with Bella as I went to retrieve the requested flavor. I found myself walking down the stairs with a spring in my step. Rosalie seemed to have finally taken to Bella and Bella seemed to have accepted her with open arms. I was still a little wary of this new development in their relationship. My daughters had finally found common ground, but I did not know if they would have enough time to cement their new relationship before the rest of the family returned tomorrow evening. One wrong move, or one unfavorable reaction to this turn of events would rip them apart just when they had grown closer. I did not want to see such a tragedy take place, but worrying about it now would serve no purpose but to preoccupy me from attending to Bella. For now, I would do all I could to support the continued development of their relationship and make it known to both girls, separately and discreetly, just how pleased I was with this turn of events. My smile grew as I heard the conversation taking place upstairs in Rosalie's room. I slowed my motions, giving the girls time to talk to each other.

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_**RPOV Saturday June 23  
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I remained beside Bella while Carlisle went to retrieve the requested purple popsicle. Bella was still content to lay curled on her side, her head in my lap as I ran my fingers through her hair.

"Rose?"

"Hmmm."

"Thank you, for everything. You really are a great sibling."

"Well, you aren't so bad as a little sister after all," I teased in return. I didn't know how else to respond. I was unused to dealing with these kinds of emotions. Alice and I never really had these sorts of sisterly moments. I suppose it was partly to do with never designating a big or little sister among the two of us. We were just sisters. With Bella, I truly felt like the older sibling, and as such I felt the need to protect her. I finally understood some of Emmett's attachment to her.

"I'm glad you're feeling better. I was worried," I finally admitted after nearly a full minute of silence.

"You took good care of me. I knew you would," she replied, easing some of my worry over showing too much emotion.

We remained in comfortable silence until Carlisle returned, offering Bella her frozen treat, which she all but snatched from his hand. I forced back a chuckle at her antics, settling instead on watching her happily slurp the mass of frozen grape juice.

I worked up enough nerve to take my first glance at Carlisle since he witnessed my displays of affection for Bella. His wide smile soothed some of my worry. Carlisle, it seemed, approved wholeheartedly of my new relationship. He could help me win over the rest of the family. I was still anxious over their reactions. They would be home in less than 30 hours. At this point, I could not be certain of anyone's reaction except Esme. She would be ecstatic over this new development in her own right and since Carlisle already approved, even if she had reservations, his approval would negate her initial worry. My siblings, however, were an entirely different matter. Each could either react favorably or cause uproar and I knew it was too much to ask that they would all approve. I just didn't know from whom to expect the disapproval. Edward seemed the most likely, but nothing could be certain until they arrived. For now, I would enjoy my time with Carlisle and Bella, basking in the glow of a new friendship and the warm contentment that came from pleasing my father.

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**A/N Thank you again for reading. Oh, and as a little spoiler. Edward will not be the one to object to the relationship. The person who does may surprise you.**


	8. Unexpected Opponents

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N**:** I felt it was important to begin this chapter with Bella's perspective on what she has observed. She is perceptive and her understanding of the Cullens as a whole and as individuals is vastly important to this story. We've already seen how she is able to pick apart Rosalie down to her foundations, so it stands to reason she would be able to do the same with the remaining family members. I have several comments that people can't reconcile this Bella with cannon Bella. Meyer tells us Bella is an avid reader and a very intelligent student. I don't know that her intelligence always comes across during the canon series, so I wanted to make sure we all remembered that Bella is one smart cookie, if you will. Her language is elevated in this fic, but it really isn't much of a stretch of the imagination to believe she would know and be able to use this vocabulary. **

**This chapter will switch back into Rosalie's perspective and you will all get the reactions you have been eagerly awaiting. What began as a one-shot has now morphed into what may end up being a rather lengthy piece of fiction. I thank you all for your continued support. **

**As always, reviews are very much appreciated and encouraged. If there is something you love or something you cannot stand, please let me know.**

**Thanks for reading! ^_^**

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_**BPOV- Monday June 25**_

Raw. After this weekend I felt raw, both physically and emotionally. Emotional exorcism in combination with this irritating illness had left me feeling like nothing but sheer will was holding my body up and keeping my mind engaged. I stood in the shower, grateful I was now deemed well enough to cleanse myself alone; I had never felt so uncomfortable as I had initially with Rosalie during our bath yesterday. To paraphrase Austen, my boundaries were vigorously attacked but thankfully not quite broken through. As the water pounded upon my sore muscles, I found myself reflecting on the past few weeks and coming to some shocking conclusions concerning the knowledge I had recently acquired.

My family had problems, but we readily admitted that. Renée was little more than an overgrown child. Charlie was as emotionally stunted as they come. I was somewhere in the middle, the product of growing up with divorced parents such as mine. The Cullens, who had been assuming the role of a perfect family for so long, did not seem to notice they had problems, much less openly admit that fact.

I wondered if they could see just how dysfunctional they really were. I certainly hadn't noticed until Rosalie all but fell to pieces in front of me. For the members of her own family, who had at least been with her for half a century, to misjudge her so completely shocked me. I certainly did not hold Rosalie upon a pedestal; I knew her faults as well as she knew mine. But for her to face such persecution when she only wanted to save me from her own fate threw into sharp contrast how entrenched in their ways the Cullens had become.

I could almost envision a family portrait with captions underneath: Carlisle Cullen, selfless physician and patriarch of a hodgepodge family- Esme Cullen, architect extraordinaire and patient mother to five perpetual teenagers- Edward Cullen, masochistic and brooding favored son- Rosalie Hale, blond bombshell with an avenging angel complex- Emmett Cullen, gigantic teddy bear and overly enthusiastic participant in all aspects of life- Jasper Hale, emotionally aware soldier struggling with the circumstances of his existence and Alice Cullen, shopaholic pixie living more in the future than the present.

Blissfully ignorant of those characteristics that denoted their vampirism, to the world, the Cullens fell easily and readily into these roles. Their family dynamic was almost simplistic in its appearance. Carlisle and Esme were obviously the parents. Edward was the troubled favorite son. Emmett and Jasper were the beloved brothers. Alice was the energetic favorite daughter and Rosalie was the family beauty.

Edward always praised my perception, but if he knew how I had deconstructed his family, he might not been so liberal with his praise. He was also the first to admit I rarely followed more normal thought processes. From my viewpoint, coming from an unusual family, I recognized that the Cullens as a whole and as individuals were troubled.

As a family unit, they never experienced growth. There were no life stages, no generations, and no change to prevent monotony. I had heard of instances where couples had gone off to live on their own, but in the end, they all returned to be together. Carlisle and Esme were technically just barely adults and their children would never mature past adolescence. While the world changed around them, the Cullens were frozen in the roles that they had assumed to make living in society less complicated. Those roles appeared permanent, which could not have been healthy for the members, as was apparent in the case of Rosalie. Her family had yet to acknowledge her change from battered victim to courageous defender. Without the benefits of change, I wondered how they had survived this long. It spoke of their devotion to each other, but I also suspected it was in part due to the comfort of familiarity. Dealing with the known is much easier than the unknown. But as flawed as the family was as a whole, the individual weaknesses caused more concern.

Carlisle created his family first out of loneliness and then had to contend with the consequences of his actions. He was without a doubt inherently good and I could not have asked for a better man as my father-in-law, but he, just like anyone else, had what I liked to consider moments of humanity- moments when my vampire family were not as flawless as they usually appeared. His relationship with Edward had never fully morphed from companion to son and as a result, Carlisle often took Edward's opinion into consideration far more than anyone else in the family. He also, in his quest to make the most of his gifts, tended to spend more time at the hospital than at home. I had no resentment for his work, if for no other reason than I had been in need of his skills on more than one occasion. I did recognize, however, that he would be more in tune with his family if he interacted with them as a whole more often. If I could recognize the problems in their familial relations after only a few short years, I knew Carlisle should have picked up on them having been exposed for nearly a century.

Until Esme's story had come to light, I had never even considered the possibility she might have had an unpleasant human life. Knowing, however, how she was treated in the years between her first meeting with Carlisle and her change, I was able to see the real woman behind the sweet smile. Her brief period of motherhood had been sufficient to permanently fix her into the role of mother, which was her greatest strength and also her greatest weakness. Fear for her children, and especially fear of loosing her children, appeared to dictate most of Esme's actions. She was reluctant at best to allow any of them out of her immediate sphere. And while I appreciated her as a mother, never having really had one of my own, I often felt Esme as whole got lost in the image of Esme, eternal mother. I saw glimpses of her in her architectural and landscaping projects, but those were infrequent moments. I did not see either her children or her husband encourage her growth; they were comfortable with her role as mother and saw no reason for her to be anything more. Esme, always striving to keep her family close, easily complied to their silent demands.

My darling Edward was perhaps the most obviously flawed, but since his flaws were obvious, he was possibly the most constant force of his dysfunctional family. Edward was prone to jumping to conclusions and overreactions, but those elements of his character were a universally acknowledged fact of life in the Cullen family. Everyone expected him to be melodramatic when circumstances were not to his liking. I suppose it was because he was the first member of the family, and all the following additions had always had his presence. Edward did not have to fit into the family, the family, in reality, had to fit into Edward. I silently lamented this fact, because had he not been the foundation, the entire family might not have bent so easily to his will, sparing me from those dark months. I preferred not to dwell on that fact, hoping instead, because his family now considered his life complete since he had found a mate in me, his predominance would slowly recede and he would truly become a son instead of acting in the strange "second-in-command" role he now held.

A few days ago I would have been brutal in my outlining of Rosalie's faults, but after this weekend, I found her one of the more unique presences in the Cullen clan. She was duplicity at its finest- when considering those traits that were honestly and truly Rosalie, she was the most straightforward, but the persona she presented the world disguised her true nature. I could now separate her true self from her façade. Rosalie Hale was a picture of perfection, vain to a fault and possessing a temper that could frighten the most stalwart men. Rose, however, was an insecure woman desperately protecting what she held most dear. I now understood exactly why Rosalie was the way she was and it all boiled down to trust. The only person she truly trusted herself with was Emmett because she was secure in their never-ending love and devotion for each other. Everyone else she held at arms length as a defense mechanism. If she could keep people from getting too close, she could protect herself. I knew every member of the family knew her story, and quite frankly I was shocked they could not put two and two together. The Cullens had me operating under the assumption that vampiric brains functioned at an astounding level, but after observing them I had come to realize they often could not see the forest for the trees. They considered Rosalie's actions as singular events instead of examining their underlying message. If they could not see her true nature after half a century, I was worried they would never fully appreciate her.

Emmett fit best into his assumed role. He was an example of the perfect big brother. He cared deeply for his family and was always eager to prove himself. His enthusiasm, while endearing, often thrust him into uncomfortable situations and his carefree and brazen personality caused more than one incident for the family. I'd always wondered if there was more to Emmett than practical jokes, competition and his love for Rosalie. He seemed to be a man who took pleasure in the simple things in life, but I could not believe that simplicity extended to all aspect of his life. I knew the was more to him that what I had seen, but the only indication I had which proved there was more to Emmett than his burly teddy bear persona was the look in his eyes when Rosalie was reminded of the limitations of her fate. The pain and longing I saw then proved to me that Emmett was not always smiles and laughter. He always put on a brave face for his family though, because that was what he felt was expected of him.

After my disastrous 18th birthday, I was finally convinced that Jasper did not consider himself an inextricable part of his family yet. I expected he could empathize with Rosalie's feeling of expendability. He had settled in nicely, but there was always a tension in his form that contradicted his projected comfort. I knew his past served as a hindrance to his full acceptance of familial life. He was rarely the center of family activities, usually gravitating to the peripheries, which may have had just as much to do with his tacticians' mind as it did with his well-hidden fear of dismissal. His allegiance to Alice outweighed any other relationship and I knew he would willingly sacrifice anything, including his family if necessary, to protect her. I suspected Alice knew of his reservations, but the rest of the Cullens seemed blatantly unaware of his hesitance and lack of lasting security. Until they were reminded by my near death experience, they had become rather indifferent to his daily struggle with bloodlust. Whereas Emmett took like a duck to water to his role as a big brother, Jasper appeared to struggle with the family dynamic more than the others with the exception of Rosalie. Perhaps they were fated to be twins after all, so similar were they in their emotions and reservations.

Like Emmett, Alice fit effortlessly into the role of daughter to the outside world. I loved my best friend dearly and was more than elated to call her family, but Alice was not the picture of perfection; she had faults too, but few people ever stopped to consider them, focusing instead on her bubbly pixie personality. For a time I had come to depend on her visions as an assured glimpse into the future, but I now understood just how shaky they really were. I was fairly sure that she often forgot that her visions weren't set in stone, taking too much credence in the adage "Never bet against Alice." She also had a habit of forming conclusions based of her visions even when she knew they were incomplete. Alice was at such a disadvantage from the start. I was almost thankful she did not remember her human life, imagining now how horrible it must have been. I had a feeling only Jasper, and perhaps Edward, knew how much she longed for a memory, any memory from her human past. I'd seen brief flashes of jealousy in her eyes when members of her family brought up their happier human memories. Alice may not have even been consciously aware of her unspoken desire. I also had a sneaking suspicion she harbored some resentment toward Rosalie. To Alice, Rosalie's dissatisfaction with vampire life could be upsetting for several reasons. Alice remembered nothing; Rosalie at least had memories, even if they were painful. Also, vampire life was the only life Alice had known and she had made the best of it; Rosalie's dismissal must seem like a slight to Alice, an undeclared belief that vampire life could never be completely fulfilling, which tainted the happiness and contentment to which Alice viciously clung. Her delight in playing Bella Barbie only confirmed my belief that Alice was trying to cling to anything that would reconnect her with humanity. I was also worried because Alice seemed to covet me nearly as much as Edward. There was no telling what she would do if she felt her relationship with me was somehow threatened. She and Edward had gotten into enough fights over me and that was before she had even met me. I decided I needed to talk to her when she got home and sort out her insecurities before she had a meltdown like Rosalie.

My interactions with Rosalie had opened my mind to the idea that my vampire family might not be as flawless as I believed them to be. Even more tragic was the fact that they seemed blissfully unaware of their failings as a family and to each other. I had a feeling the imperfections were about to crack under the pressure and I felt more than a little guilty, knowing I was the cause. The Cullens had existed for decades before me, and they had done so with ease. My coming had brought the first challenge since the arrival of Alice and Jasper in the 1950s, and from what I had heard, it took several years before the family was sufficiently adjusted.

Carlisle had had to worry about protecting his family from the Volturi should my knowledge of the existence of vampires reach their ears, and now that it had, he had to deal with the consequences. The added strain could not have been easy to shoulder. Esme was torn between her loyalty to the family she loved and her desire to make me another daughter. Edward was forced to choose between his family and me and then between my safety and me, which ended in disaster. Rosalie, of course, saw me as a reminder of what she couldn't have and then as a source of her family's alleged rejection. Emmett walked a careful, but dangerous line between reassuring Rosalie and welcoming me. Poor Jasper literally suffered because of my presence and Alice's enthusiasm caused as much hardship as it prevented.

Had I not known what my absence would do to the family, I would have gladly torn myself from them to prevent the chaos I knew was about to happen. But even knowing what I did, self-preservation and a slightly selfish desire to finally have the family I had wanted for years were what prevented me from any rash decisions. I could only hope now that my insight would allow me to defuse any situations before they could get out of hand. On the other hand, the Cullens really needed to deal with each other, not their assumed roles, but the harsh reality of each other, if they wanted to maintain the family. I decided then I was probably going to have to orchestrate the whole thing myself.

I knew I would have act much braver than I actually felt to pull it off, but I felt like I needed to make up for all the problems I has caused recently. If I could somehow find the resolve to make them sit down and talk to each other, I knew they would all be the better for it. I just wasn't sure that I had that much nerve left in me. The trip to Volterra had really taken a toll on my need to seek adrenaline producing situations. I hoped when the time came, I would be able to find the will to see it through and not crumple under the strain.

My brain, now fuzzy from overuse and medication, could not take any more profound realizations concerning my new family. I could tell Rosalie was anxious for the impending arrival of Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper and Alice; I hoped our new friendship would not be like the iceberg to the Titanic- the catalyst for exposing the flaws of a seemingly flawless whole. For now, I realized worrying over what ifs would do nothing but increase the pounding sensation in my brain. I compartmentalized those worries and began a slow, but surprisingly steady trek to the living room where I knew Carlisle and Rosalie awaited me.

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_**RPOV- Monday June 25  
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I felt like I was in a bullet train barreling toward a broken bridge; the anticipation of the turmoil was quite possibly worse than the wreckage I knew awaited me after the disaster. The missing members of my family were due to arrive at any moment and with their arrival would come either the affirmation of my worries or the proof of Bella's statements. I was hoping for the latter but expecting the former. I paced the living room, glancing at the door every few seconds in what must have seemed a tragic facsimile of a father awaiting the news of his child's birth. I did not look toward the door with anticipation, but with apprehension. Carlisle had attempted to sooth my worries, but his efforts were in vain. I would not be calm until I had weathered whatever catastrophe would come with our familial reunion.

I had begun what must have been my hundredth circuit of the room when Bella's scent invaded my senses. Earlier this weekend her scent had been tainted with the tang of sickness, but now her fresh floral fragrance was nearly devoid of that unpleasant addition.

"Rose," her still scratchy voice teased, "You might want to stop pacing. I doubt Esme will appreciate a circle worn through the carpet. Do you really want to face her wrath? You know what happened the last time Emmett ruined it."

I smirked a little at the memory of Emmett having to replace the carpet at human speed with the crudest of tools after trekking blood and mud all over the floor following a particularly adventurous hunt. Esme had compounded his punishment by choosing to set his task for a day when he was supposed to go bear hunting with Jasper and Edward. My poor husband was so forlorn, bemoaning his fate while pulling out each of the tacks holding the carpet down.

I was grateful for the momentary reprieve from my worrying Bella had granted me, but I relaxed even further when I noticed the brush resting next to where she perched on the couch. I sank to the floor in front of her and the last vestiges of my unease melted away after the first stroke. I noticed Carlisle looking on with fondness and approval for this simple action. I knew he appreciated Bella's initiative as much as he appreciated my acquiescence to her ministrations. Before this weekend, I would have only expressed my need for comfort to Emmett, but now I felt at ease letting Bella sooth my worries.

In fact, it felt so natural I determined Alice had really made a fine choice in her best friend. Where previously I had felt replaced by Bella, I now realized she could be a means of reconnecting me with my sister, and with the rest of my family. An idea came to me then. When Alice was out hunting next, I would take Bella shopping and we would find something nice for Alice as a thank you. I had perfected the art of preventing Alice from seeing all my decisions, so I kept changing my mind as to what Bella and I would be shopping for. Hopefully, that would throw her vision off enough that she would still be surprised when the time came. Pleased with my idea, I refocused on Bella's comforting gesture.

Bella continued brushing without pause, making light conversation, which was all her tender throat would allow. She asked that I play for her later, encouraging me when I hesitated, fearing Edward's reaction. The piano technically belonged to no one, but he had been the only one playing it for so many years, I knew he had formed a sort of attachment toward it. I did not want anything to undermine his approval of my new relationship with Bella, no matter how trivial it might seem. It took her nearly 5 minutes and one pitiful imitation of Alice's puppy dog pout before I finally conceded. She smiled and her eyes danced with the satisfaction for my agreement and the anticipation of hearing me play.

I returned her contagious enthusiasm until I heard the sound of Emmett's monstrosity of a Jeep barreling down the driveway. I immediately tensed and shot a fearful glance at the door. Bella sensed my sudden change in demeanor and placed her hand lightly on my shoulder.

"Don't worry," she tried to reassure me, "Whatever happens, no matter what anyone says, we are sisters now, and they can't change that."

I tried desperately to cling to the glimmer of hope she gave me, but it blinked out of sight and my resolve came crumbling down as my family came streaming into the living room. From their faces I could tell they knew of this latest development and at least a few of their reactions weren't going to be favorable. Emmett bounded in with his usual enthusiasm, but a gleam in his eye had me more than a little concerned. Surely he knew this was not the time to make a joke. Esme looked elated, but then again, she always did when the whole family was together. Edward looked reserved, as if he was testing the mental reactions of everyone else before displaying his own physical reaction. Jasper looked downright uncomfortable. When he crossed the threshold I could finally see Alice, who had been uncharacteristically the last to enter.

Where I expected to see anticipation and approval there was distress, accusation and what looked like jealously. The person I expected to be my greatest ally appeared to be my most ardent opponent. I deflated substantially, knowing if Bella were forced to choose between Alice and myself, she would choose Alice. The hopelessness and despair from my breakdown returned full force. I was about to grab Emmett's hand and retreat upstairs to avoid any unpleasantness when he opened his mouth and let loose the statement that would be the catalyst for the disaster of epic proportions I had been fearing all weekend.

"Hey, Rosie. Miss me? See you didn't kill Bella after all, even when she was bleeding. Catch her falling over anything? I hope I didn't miss anything good, but I bet you two just avoided each other all weekend."

I was startled by Emmett's knowledge of Bella's minor bleeding, but I chalked it up to either a vision of Alice's or a shared phone conversation between Esme and Carlisle, via Edward's ability. Despite my initial shock, I noticed several reactions to this statement and they all worried me.

Jasper visibly flinched. Emmett's careless statement had reminded me, and apparently also Jasper, just who couldn't resist Bella's blood and what the results of the blood lust had been. Alice's already accusatory eyes darkened further upon noticing Jasper's discomfort. Edward paled, a difficult action for a vampire. He was reminded of Bella's party and following dark months by at least mine and Jasper's thoughts and I suspected by a few other family members as well.

Bella's reaction was perhaps the most surprising; though now that I think about it, I should just expect the unexpected with her now on. She had been standing behind me and off to the left side, but now she was stepping determinedly toward my giant vampire husband, a dangerous narrowing of her eyes alerting me to her irritation. She stood before him, looking more like a doll that ever before in her weakened state. He made motions as if to initiate a hug, but she swatted his arms away. He looked on with curiosity as she jabbed him in the chest with her index finger.

"Apologize," she demanded staring into his golden eyes with disappointment and exasperation.

Obviously missing the intensity of her tone, my idiot husband just chuckled before answering.

"What for Bella?"

Her posture straightened a little more and I actually found myself worried for Emmett. Bella may not have been anywhere close to him in strength, but her verbal tongue lashings rivaled the worst lecture Esme could come up with, and those were enough to reduce Emmett to pleading and placating to end the tirade.

"For ridiculing me about something you know embarrasses me, for making Jasper uncomfortable, but most of all for insinuating that your own wife would even consider killing me, much less when I am bleeding. That isn't funny Emmett."

Obviously Bella was also a little sensitive about the repercussions of her disastrous birthday party last year and did not take kindly to reminders. I could understand why, once we all discovered just how close we came to destroying her with our absence. I was a little stunned by her defense of me. I knew we'd come a long way in the past few days, but I didn't expect her to take on my family, especially not Emmett, who was really just joking. Apparently, Bella didn't care if he was joking or not. She waited impatiently for his apology, but he never had a chance to voice it.

"So that's how it's going to be," growled Alice with barely concealed disillusionment.

Now Bella looked as shocked as I felt. Seeming to forget Emmett, she shuffled over to Alice, puzzlement and concern etched on her features.

"What do you mean, Alice?" she questioned, mystified by her best friend's reaction.

The diatribe that followed made me cringe. Vicious and bitter was Alice's attack and I couldn't decide who I should defend first- Bella or myself. I could only stand, stunned into stillness as she lit into both of us.

"I would have expected this from Rosalie, but I expected better from you. How could you betray me like this? I saw what you were planning. Did your simple human mind forget I could see the future? I've seen what you want to talk to me about and you couldn't be more wrong. Why on earth would I be jealous of Rosalie? At least I am content with my lot in life and don't go around making everyone else miserable just because I can't have something I want. After everything I've done for you, I can't believe you are just going to throw me away like this and choose Rosalie, of all people, over me. Did you forget I was the one who came back for you? It was Rosalie's fault Edward went to Volterra. Oh and I had another vision while we were headed home too. You whine and moan every time I even suggest we go shopping, but Rosalie is going to ask you to go and you are going to say yes. You are supposed to be my best friend, Bella. I loved you first and I fought for you when no one else would, not even Edward. Maybe I should have just kept my vision to myself when I saw you jump off the cliff!"

I actually gasped when Alice finished her final statement. I knew the entire tirade was vastly out of character for her, but I never in my wildest imagination would have believed Alice could be so insensitive and cruel to Bella. I trained my eyes on Bella, noticing for the first time the huge tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. There was no doubt in my mind that what Alice had said wounded Bella to her core. She may have projected a strong, confident exterior this weekend, but I knew she was still shaken by our sudden departure and recent return. Alice had just ripped open Bella's newly healed wounds and poured salt in them. Bella was visibly shaking with the barely contained sobs straining to escape from her aching throat.

"I…I…want to go…" she stuttered, her voice hitching from her sobs and her pain. "I want…to go…home." Her voice cracked on the last word, as though she were in disbelief that she would prefer to be at her home than at ours.

I was about to volunteer, but Edward voiced his willingness first.

"I'll drive you home, love."

"No…no Edward. I want…I want Alice to take me home." Bella continued to cry, looking at her best friend with such profound sadness.

"Are you sure, Bella?" Esme questioned.

"Y…Yes. Alice, I want you…to take me home."

Now Alice seemed stunned. Either her visions had not prepared her for this result, or she could not believe she had just attacked her best friend. Regardless of whichever truth governed her reaction, she slowly nodded her head and motioned for Bella to follow her out to the Porsche. I hoped they would be able to mend their shattered trust in each other. Both walked away with identical expressions of betrayal.

With the closing of the door, pandemonium erupted in the silent room.

"What the hell is going on?" boomed my husband.

"Rosalie, do you have some explanation for this?" Edward probed.

"I've never felt such pain from Alice," whispered Jasper, his concern for his wife evident in his tone.

"Carlisle, how are we going to handle this?" asked Esme.

"First of all, let's continue this discussion in the dining room," suggested Carlisle.

I followed my siblings and parents into the dining room and assumed my place at the table. The last time we were here was when Bella put her mortality to a vote. So very much had changed since then. I held my head in my hands wondering how everything had just fallen apart like this. Maybe it would have been better if Bella and I had never developed anything more than indifference towards each other. I should have known Alice would not take kindly to me encroaching on her relationship with Bella. It was the first real friendship she'd ever had and now I felt so selfish for ruining it for her, even if it was unintentional.

I thought back to her diatribe and tried not to be angry with my sister for her thoughtless accusations. I knew we weren't as close as we should have been considering how long we'd lived together, but I couldn't believe she would so condemn me just to make her point. My emotions were spiraling out of control again and now I didn't even have the benefit of Bella and her hairbrush or the necessary solitude to work out my emotions on the piano. I was struggling to regain my quickly fading composure. Jasper seemed oblivious to my struggles, sill appearing unreasonably uncomfortable. The environment wasn't any more emotionally charged than it had been during several of our previous family arguments. I could think of no reason for his distress. I began to feel the telltale signs of sobs of frustration and distress forming, but before they had a chance to escape I felt someone embrace me from behind.

I leaned into the embrace, drawing comfort from the stony arms, which I initially thought belonged to my husband. I almost immediately noticed the arms surrounding my shoulders could not belong to my darling Emmett. Naturally, I assumed Jasper had regained his control. I could see Carlisle still standing at the head of the table.

I was surprised to hear Edward's voice rumbling in my ears.

"Thank you, Rosalie."

I was stunned into stillness again. I couldn't remember the last time Edward had said thank you to me. Honestly, I was convinced he was never going to forgive me for nearly causing his eternal separation from his love. I wouldn't have blamed him now, coming to love Bella in my own way.

"I've seen the memories of this weekend running through your head since we returned, Rosalie. I'm elated you and Bella have been able to consider each other sisters. I misjudged your intentions concerning her. I should have listened harder to what you were trying to tell me. I'm sorry."

I turned and stared at him in disbelief. Edward- Mr. I am always right and you are always wrong- was apologizing to me. My fleeting control suddenly vanished and the emotions I had still not conquered since my initial breakdown tore through me with a renewed vengeance. Sobs erupted from my quivering form and Edward simply held me closer. I could see Emmett looking on in concern, but remaining in place, allowing me my moment with Edward.

"Rosalie darling, what ever is the matter?" probed Esme.

I was too distraught to answer my mother, but Edward responded for me.

"She's had a very trying weekend, Esme, and I believe Alice's little outburst proved too much for her already battered psyche."

It took a few minutes for me to rally myself again. I felt like all I had been doing all weekend was loosing control of myself and then putting the pieces back together. I gave Edward once last squeeze, feeling closer to my brother than I had in decades.

I took an unnecessary breath, looking around at my family. Carlisle and Esme continue to exude support. I could tell Edward was finally on the same side with me by his actions. Emmett looked troubled, but I didn't know if it was because of his interaction with Bella or my sudden emotional frenzy. Jasper's eyes kept darting toward to the door, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

I was almost reluctant to speak; I had yet to say anything since the return of my family.

"Maybe we should wait for Alice," I mumbled.

"Do you really think that's best, Rosie?" questioned Emmett.

"I think Rose is right. Whatever caused Alice to attack Bella seems to be the root of this issue. Her thoughts were so chaotic I couldn't really understand what made her so distraught. I doubt this is really about shopping."

"I was going to take Bella shopping to buy something for Alice, as a thank you for bringing Bella to us. I kept changing my mind so she couldn't see what I was planning. I didn't mean to upset her," I volunteered.

"Well it's settled then. We will postpone this discussion until Alice can be present," Carlisle announced.

Jasper finally spoke up then. "We need Bella to be here too. From what I could understand of her emotions she was hurt and frustrated, but she also felt vindicated, which doesn't seem to fit at all with the scenario. She's come to some conclusion, and considering her emotions, I don't think it was at all pleasant."

It occurred to me then that Bella might have deconstructed my family in the manner in which she had deconstructed me. I didn't believe, however, that she was seeking to reassure as she was in my case. From her response to Emmett's teasing, her reaction to Alice's spiteful words, and her departure, I was sure there was more going on in Bella's mind than we were aware. I feared we were about to see the results of her uncanny perception. I almost felt sorry for Alice, knowing Bella was probably unleashing a torrent on her at this moment. I had faith though that Bella would somehow discover the root of Alice's discontent and hopefully mend their bruised relationship.

Everyone had disbursed with the exception of myself, Edward and Emmett.

"I need to clear my head, Rosie. I'm going to go take a run. Will you call me when Alice gets back?" Emmett pleaded as he tenderly kissed my forehead.

I nodded my assent and watched as he trudged out the door and tore off into the forest.

"Rose, will you play with me?" proposed Edward.

I did not understand what he was talking about. Play what? Maybe I should have gone running with Emmett. I needed to do something to purge myself of at least some of these emotions.

"Play piano, Rosalie. You need to do something and so do I. Sitting here brooding isn't going to help either of us."

Without waiting for my response, Edward dragged me to the music room and situated himself on the piano bench. He motioned for me to join him and realizing how idiotic I looked standing there staring at him, I sat quickly. He immediately started on one of Mozart's fourhanded concertos. It took me a moment to place the piece, but once recognition occurred I joined him enthusiastically, reveling, at last, in the release of emotions.

I dreaded Alice's eventual return and worried over Jasper's unusual behavior. I knew this ephemeral moment of peace was about to be shattered and I desperately hoped we would all be able to walk away without experiencing total ruin.

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**A/N: I thank you all for reading. It means so very much to me that you take time out of your day to read my piece of fiction. Before the flames get out of hand, I would like you to know, I am an avid Alice fan. I had no intentions of her being the one to object, but the plot lent itself to that direction. **

**The next chapter will cover the conversation between Bella and Alice after they leave the Cullen house and also the full family discussion. Of course, Alice was not the only Cullen to have something other than a positive reaction to Rosalie and Bella's new friendship. Look forward to more explanation of Jasper's odd behavior in the coming chapters as well.**

**Please review if you have the time. I would love to hear from you.**

**Thanks! ^_^**


	9. Starting an Argument

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**AN: First, a huge thank-you to all of you who have reviewed. Your feedback means the world to me and helps me improve my writing. Also, thank-you to all of you who have added this story to your favorites, put it on story alert, or done the same with me as an author. I smile each time I receive an e-mail notification.**

**Without further ado, here it is, the chapter you have all been waiting for. Bella and Alice will have it out and we will come to find out exactly what each of the Cullens thinks of the new relationship between Rosalie and Bella. This, however, is not the climax of the story. That will come in the next chapter followed by the resolution. I hope you all enjoy this chapter; it was a lot of fun to write.**

**You will have a part of this chapter from everyone's perspective; to help you with the breaks, I have added some extra formatting. Hopefully it will be a help and not a hindrance.**

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_**APOV- Monday June 25**_

I drove aimlessly, purposefully not taking her home. I could still hear her breath hitching and smell the salt from her tears, which had long since dried on her flushed cheeks. Anger radiated throughout the car and we hadn't spoken a word to each other yet. I had so much to say, but I had no idea where to begin. She saved me from my internal struggling when she finally took a deep shuddering breath and turned to look at me before speaking:

"You have a lot of explaining to do, but I want you to start by telling me what you saw and I expect you to include all the details."

Her barely concealed fury and disappointment made me cringe. I knew I taken a giant leap over the line, but I never saw it coming, which frightened me. Even without the benefit of a vision, I knew the longer I remained silent, the worse this night was going to become.

"Well, I saw you coming to find me once we got home and then we went to the park for some privacy. There were some flashes of a conversation; that's how I knew exactly what you wanted to talk to me about. We spent nearly an hour talking and then I saw us hugging; I looked like I had been upset at some point, but I was smiling. That was the end."

"Alice," her tone was still underlined with anger, "I know full well the vision you had of the two of us was not what set you off. I suggest you tell me exactly why my best friend just eviscerated me and her sister in front of her entire family."

I knew as soon as I spoke she was going to be even more disappointed in me. In hindsight, my reaction to the other vision I had was completely ridiculous, but even now I could feel the jealously welling up in me. I couldn't believe she'd defended Rosalie. Rosalie hated her and had made no secret of it. No weekend could have been so successful as to make her forget all the past wrongs Rosalie had committed against her. I wanted to see her reaction so I pulled off to the side of the scenic highway on which I was driving before I stared to recount my vision.

"You were shopping with Rose, and you were enjoying it. You never complained once, even when she kept changing her mind about what she was going to buy. She was going to drag you through the mall all day, and you just kept laughing and smiling and hanging on her every word. You even waited until I couldn't come, so it would just be the two of you."

"That doesn't tell me why you attacked me, Alice. Keep explaining."

I could feel the jealously and resentment welling up inside me again. I tried desperately to reign in back in, knowing I had already hurt her more than I ever imagined I could. I knew if I opened my mouth, there was no telling what vicious comments would come spewing from it. I made the mistake of looking into her eyes, which reflected the same betrayal I felt. That pushed me over the edge. She was the one who had betrayed me; I was just telling her what I saw.

"Fine. You really want to know? I was furious, okay. I knew when Rosalie finally got over herself and started to be nice to you, that you'd figure out you liked her better and drop me like last year's Prada purse. I've been getting visions of the two of you all weekend, talking and brushing each other's hair. You hate when I do anything to your hair, but when Rosalie does it, you'll sit there for hours. I kept telling myself that the more the two of you bonded the more the three of us could spend time together. I got the vision of the two of you shopping right before we got home and I tried not to read too much into it, but then when you defended her against Emmett, I knew my suspicions were right. It wasn't going to be the three of us. It was going to be you and Rosalie and I was going to be on the outside looking in. You'd chosen her over me and I was mad, all right. I loved you even before Edward did, but you tossed me aside as soon as you could having something more normal, just like my human parents."

I soon as I voiced that last thought, I slapped my hands over my mouth and stared at her in horror. Her eyes held such pain, but it was not because of what I'd said to her earlier, it was due to what I had just revealed.

"Alice, how could you…you have to…surely you know…"

She was so overcome she couldn't even form a whole thought and I was still so shocked I could only stare at her. She continued to stutter for another half a minute before she could finally verbalize her thoughts.

"You're my best friend, Alice. You have to know I would never try to replace you. No, you have to know, I would never, under any circumstances, want to replace you. Please tell me you know that. You have to."

I couldn't tell her what she begged to hear. I knew I was her best friend, but I couldn't help but feeling it was because she felt sorry for me. Poor pitiful Alice, doesn't even remember her human life, but knows her parents shipped her off to an asylum. I was always afraid I was just a creation of my own imagination. I didn't remember what I was like, whereas everyone else did. They knew which traits were left over from their human lives. I knew nothing. I might have been the polar opposite of my vampire recreation during my human years, but I had no idea and nothing to tell me one way or the other. I clung to the future because I couldn't trust the past and the present. I knew what I saw in the future was at least some form of the truth. I didn't realize I was shaking my head back and forth until I saw her eyes grow darker. She looked as if I had just sucked some of the life out of her, and yet she projected profound understanding.

"I didn't think it was possible, but you might be just as deluded as Rosalie."

I bristled immediately at that statement, still angry with my sister for stealing my best friend, who she didn't even like, during a weekend I had graciously set up for her. I didn't even realize I was growling, until her sharp voice broke through my ruminations.

"Alice, stop it. I'll give you something to growl about if you don't quit right now. Did you see anything Rosalie and I talked about or just the result?"

I didn't see what this had to do with anything, but I answered anyway.

"I saw her crying in your lap and then her hugging you, and then a dozen or so other visions of you two over the weekend, but no, I didn't catch any part of the conversation. Why does it matter?"

"Oh Alice. I told you not to make assumptions based on your visions." She sounded so heartbreakingly frustrated.

"I don't understand."

"Yes, I know and that the only reason I am not raking you over the coals right now."

I stared at her in confusion, my anger and jealously subsiding, giving way to hurt and bewilderment, a feeling I did not enjoy, being so used to know how everything was going to turn out.

"It isn't my place to tell you what Rosalie told me. You are going to have to ask her and I have a feeling you are going to seriously regret what you said tonight. But, what I can tell you is this: no matter how close Rosalie and I may get, no matter how our relationship develops, you will always be my best friend and no one will ever take your place in my heart.

You have to know, when you…left…I missed you as much as I missed Edward. I felt your absence as strongly as I felt his, and I don't think you really know how much it meant to me that you came back, despite his wishes. I was broken Alice, absolutely shattered. I finally felt like I might have had a chance at being whole again when I saw you standing there in the hallway.

I understand, and you might be surprised how much Rosalie will understand, feeling like something you loved dearly was ripped from you. You can't remember your human life, and that is a cruel twist of fate. I know you resent Rosalie for her reaction to her past, but have you ever really considered what it is she's mourning? She's just like you Alice, grieving for something she wants desperately, but can never have, her humanity. You two are more alike than I think either of you realize."

My bewilderment continued with this revelation. I felt blind-sided, but at the same time, subtle hints of contentment filled me with the knowledge that my place as her best friend was secure.

"Bella," I paused, unsure of what to say. "Bella, I'm sorry, so truly sorry for what I said to you. Can you forgive me?"

She sighed, staring at me with pain-filled eyes. I was immediately terrified that she wasn't going to forgive me, not that I could really fault her, considering all the atrocious accusations I had made.

"Alice, of course I will forgive you, but first I need you to listen to me and not interrupt. I need to just get through this, alright?"

I nodded my compliance and waited anxiously for what she was going to say. She took a deep breath, as though she was steadying her nerves. Her eyes closed and when they reopened, her haunted expression was more than I could take. I leaned over to embrace her, but she rejected me.

"How could you…" she started, looking dejected. "You know you don't see everything in your visions. You know your family knows several tricks on how to block you. How could you trust so implicitly in something that you know is imperfect and be suspicious of me? When have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? When have I ever let you down? Why…how could you let one vision almost destroy our friendship? You have got to stop relying on your visions as definitive truths and see them as possibilities. Go ahead and do everything in your power to fulfill them if you want, but please, please, don't base your beliefs off of events that haven't happened, especially when you don't see everything. If you had just stopped to think for a minute, instead of just assuming you were right, you would have known, there is no way you couldn't have known I wouldn't betray you. You wouldn't have said…"

She never finished that statement, instead my best friend finally gave in once again to the pain I had inflicted upon her. I'd never felt so small in my entire life. I had reduced her to a shuddering heap. I knew exactly what she meant by her unfinished sentence. Even in the heat of the moment I couldn't believe I'd told her I wished I hadn't come back after my vision of her cliff dive. My lack of confidence had caused me to spurn my first and only friend. My righteous indignation having long since faded, I sat, seeing the result of my impudence, and finally grasping how misinterpreting one vision could have catastrophic effects.

I reached out for Bella again, and this time she did not reject my embrace. I held her shaking form close, thankful I had not completely ruined our relationship, and whispered my apologies over and over. I clung to her as well; she was my lifeline. I had come to rely so heavily on my visions, I was left feeling vulnerable, having now accepted my own limitations.

I felt her pulling away, and before I could speak again a vision took hold of me. I was almost reluctant to view it, but I allowed it to overtake my consciousness. I saw my family sitting in the dining room, discussing the next step in handling the crisis I had created. I had a flash of a sobbing Rosalie in the arms of Edward and was puzzled; I didn't have time to muse over that development because the next scene took over rapidly. Rosalie was encouraging the family to wait for my return before discussing anything and then Jasper suggested including Bella. The vision faded out and I could once again focus on Bella; I was hesitant to share what I had seen with her, but decided to since she was involved.

"They are waiting for us, so we can talk about this, um, situation, as a family. I don't think they expect you to come back today. We can wait until tomorrow."

I hoped she would take my suggestion. Between her illness, the emotional shock, and all the crying, Bella was in a sorry state. I was itching to get her into a different outfit and restyle her hair, but I had a feeling Bella Barbie was going to be even more out of the question than usual. I didn't want to press my luck.

"No. I don't want to wait for tomorrow. You all obviously need to deal with each other as soon as possible. This has been put off for too long as it is, and I wont help any of you avoid it any longer."

I was absolutely baffled by her response, but I restarted my Porsche, and soon enough we were speeding down the highway, returning to the house. I really had no idea what to expect, and considering Bella's already volatile state, I had a feeling it was not going to be couture and unreleased Prada purses at the Cullen household.

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_**JPOV- Monday June 25  
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Rosalie was driving me up a wall with her emotions. First she was overwhelmed, then livid, then confused, horrified, and anxious. Honestly, I was glad vampires couldn't get headaches, because I would have had a migraine by now. Her anxiety, however, gave me reason to pause. It seemed to me that Rosalie shared my belief that with the return of Bella and Alice would come the climax of the evening's upheavals.

Even I had been caught off guard by Alice's attack of her favorite human, but Bella, according to her emotions was resigned to her reaction. I had always known Bella was a force with which to be reckoned. Edward praised her perception, but I don't think he really appreciated what a gift she had. I had often felt her calculating eyes on my person during our brief contact with each other. I felt more exposed to her than I did with Edward and his aggravating talent. Bella, it appeared, possessed a talent of her own: the ability to see past false pretenses and discover the underlying truth. I found her gift most amusing when she battled with Edward, but I was less keen to see it utilized against me and also more than surprised to detect that she had been using it on Alice.

Rosalie's acceptance of Bella was about to bring into sharp contrast my continued distance from Edward's mate. Where I could hide behind her vitriol previously, I was now exposed to the entire family. I felt more than conflicted on the issue of Bella. As a person, I was rather fond of her, but until Edward changed her, which he seemed adamantly against even now that it was all but set in stone, I was not convinced her continued association with the family was in anyone's best interest. I had managed to keep this opinion to myself, but I knew it was more than likely Edward would find out sooner rather than later and I was not looking forward to his reaction.

Aggravation filled me when I considered that my family did not heed my initial warning that Bella was as much of danger to us as we were to her. I had almost killed her, and no amount of forgiveness on any of their parts would assuage me feeling that the whole incident could have been prevented if she had been changed already. The house was one of my only sanctuaries from my maddening blood lust and it had been wrenched from me when I needed it the most. I struggled to reign in my feelings of irritation, knowing projecting those emotions unintentionally would make this evening even more trying that it already appeared it was going to be.

Somehow I knew Bella was already aware of my feelings concerning all aspects of her involvement with my family. I shuddered with the thought that she might believe I was not happy she was to be with Edward. I was ecstatic that she had managed to bring contentment to my suffering brother. I only hoped her keen insight did not fall short when she considered how others, especially myself, viewed her. I knew she had a tendency to belittle herself in conversation with Edward, arguing she was nothing above normal.

The anxiety and anticipation in the room suddenly rose dramatically as we all picked up on the sound of the Porsche's tires crunching the gravel of the driveway. The proverbial shit was about the hit the fan and I was glad I had over a century of practice at duck and cover maneuvers.

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_**EmPOV- Monday June 25  
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Rosalie had just called me to let me know she could hear Alice driving up the driveway. I had been running for a solid hour now and felt a little more like myself. It always pained me to see my Rosie suffering, and even more when I could not comfort her, but she and Edward had been steadily drifting apart for decades and I was not going to stand in the way of any efforts to mend their relationship.

I felt like the buffoon I was usually deemed. I didn't realize one careless comment meant in jest was going to set off Bells. She was usually so laid back and it took a lot of my teasing to get her riled. I wished I had gotten the chance to apologize to her. I really only meant to tease her like a brother would tease his younger sister, but something told me it was more than just my comment that had set her off. Then the whole disaster with Alice had me thinking it would be a long while before Bella decided to come for a visit at the Cullen house again.

Just thinking about Alice made me tense with barely restrained rage. The statements she had made against my Rosie appalled me. I never thought I'd see the day when I was well and truly angry at my pixie of a sister, but today was that day. I didn't care what she'd seen, or rather thought she'd seen, she should have known better. She had been the one to plan the whole weekend, which looked like it had been a success, until she opened her mouth. My angel wasn't as selfish as everyone thought she was. Any progress she'd made with Bella would be wiped out with one statement or look from Alice. Rosie didn't deserve to have a new friendship taken from her, but she'd give it up to avoid upsetting Alice and Bella. I knew how much she wished she and Alice were closer. They both held each other at arms lengths all these years and I still couldn't figure out why. They had enough in common it shouldn't have been a problem.

I hoped whatever progress Bells and Rosie had made wouldn't be erased by Alice's antics. My angel deserved to be surrounded by people who loved her and who she loved. I knew she and Bella would be fast friends if they could overcome their differences with each other. Bella needed Rosalie to balance out Alice; Rosalie needed Bella because it seemed like she was the only other person in the family, beside myself, who could clearly see my beloved.

The last bit of my resentment toward my sister was pushed to the back of my mind when I saw my Rosie waiting for me on the porch. As long as we had each other and she was safe in my arms, I didn't really give a damn what the rest of the family did. I was going to make this right just to see my beloved smile again.

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_**EsPOV- Monday June 25  
**_

I was only half aware of my darling Carlisle watching me as I paced across our room. Puzzlement had quickly turned to fret, and now all I could do was retrace my steps and muse internally. Alice's outburst had caught us all off guard with the remarkable exception of Bella, according to Jasper. He had told us, based on her emotional response, that she had been anticipating the reaction and while Alice's words had cut her to the core, Bella was vindicated. Something in either Alice's reaction or her cutting remarks had proven Bella correct in some sense or another.

It was at moments like this, when I, as much as Edward, wished his particular talent worked on her. I would love to know exactly what my newest daughter was thinking. There was glint in her eyes tonight that unnerved me; it was like she could see something we couldn't, and what ever she could see, did not please her. I knew she loved us and I knew she was enthralled at the prospect of spending her eternity with us and I couldn't fathom what it was she had detected that made her look at all of us with pity and frustration.

It seemed as though all of my daughters were acting out of character. Alice, who was usually energetic and ready to please, had retreated into her self, looking a shadow of her usual pixie persona. I had never in our years together witnessed her lash out at anyone in the family as she had tonight and I still could not believe she'd condemned Bella along with Rosalie. Bella, generally docile, had obviously discovered her own fortitude and was not shy about using it. Maybe Edward's tiger kitten analogy was more accurate than he'd predicted. It was Rosalie, however, out of the three, who worried me the most. It had been several decades since I had seen my eldest daughter completely loose herself in her emotions and I had never seen her seek out Edward for comfort. She looked fragile, which was not an adjective I usually associated with Rosalie. I wondered what Edward had meant by "her battered psyche." What on earth had she and Bella been doing all weekend for Rosalie to appear so weary and afraid?

I wasn't sure how to feel about the new understanding Bella and Rosalie seemed to have reached. My still heart was overjoyed that they had managed to set aside their differences and finally learn to accept each other into their lives. I wanted my daughters to share the love they had with the rest of the family with each other. I had known since Bella's nightmare, that she would be the key to finally breaking down the last of Rosalie's walls. My eldest daughter was guarded for a very good reason, but those barriers were no longer necessary, and I realized Rosalie was not strong enough alone to break them. She needed Bella to help her.

What concerned me was how the apparent new love triangle was going to work. Bella loved Alice incontrovertibly and would never wish to replace her, but she had also always needed the love and guidance of an elder sister that only Rosalie could provide. There was no doubt in my mind that she could never choose between them, not now that she had made peace with Rosalie. That did not mean, however, that my vampire daughters would not try to force her hand. They would both want her loyalty, and I wasn't sure that Bella could convince them she could be loyal to both at the same time. They were not keen on sharing anything with each other and I believed Bella would be the same.

I expected certain catastrophe should Bella be pressured to choose one over the other. The result would be disastrous and a feared my family would be torn into pieces over the matter. Edward would defend Bella, Jasper would take up Alice's camp, and Emmett would side with Rosalie as a show of devotion regardless of his true feelings on the matter. Carlisle and I would have to act as peacekeepers until the whole state of affairs exploded, ending with blows exchanged between my sons and more vicious comments thrown by my daughters. In the end, no one would win and we would all separate. I could not let such an atrocity happen, even if it meant Bella and Rosalie could never have the relationship they wanted. I hoped desperately that I would not have to interfere. I only wanted my daughters, all of my daughters, to be happy.

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_**CPOV- Monday June 25  
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I watched my beloved wife stalk circles through our bedroom, her expression darkening with each passing minute. I too was worried about my children, but I was confident the matter could be resolved after a family discussion. Misunderstandings would be cleared up and we would go back to our created normality after a short while.

Bella, thankfully, was on the mend. I was far more concerned with her fragile health than with the building quarrel within the family. We had our differences and I expected from time to time those grievances would have to be aired before the family could continue with our existence. Rosalie's strange behavior, which had been next on my mental list of matters that most concerned me, had been at least partially explained and resolved. After observing her behavior with Bella, I discerned they had without question discovered mutual understanding and affection. I was more than pleased to witness their reciprocal demonstrations of compassion and love. Bella really did bring out the best in each member of my family.

I was confident Jasper was reading more into Bella's reaction than necessary. Granted, she was sufficiently observant to know Alice would not react lightly to any perceived threat to their relationship. I did not, believe, like the other members of my family, that this situation would elevate to a worrisome state. We would all sit and calmly discuss the matter and then the whole issue would be put in the past. We were all rational beings and I was sure conversation would resolve the topic quickly and painlessly.

I detected the telltale sounds of Alice's return and was delighted to discover Bella had returned with her. I knew her presence would expedite resolution and I was also keen to give her one final examination before she returned to her house. Edward would never forgive me should I allow any lingering aspect of her illness to go untreated. I caught my darling Esme mid step in an embrace, attempting to sooth her frazzled nerves before we continued the family discussion. We returned to our places in the dining room, and awaited the arrival of our children. I was certain this whole matter would be easily resolved tonight, so I stood with my most disarming smile, hoping to set the atmosphere before anyone could become excessively agitated.

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_**EPOV- Monday June 25  
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The thoughts of six minds plagued my own. Only Carlisle seemed confident the evening would come to a close on a positive note. I was inclined to agree with my mother and siblings; this matter was going to balloon exponentially and we were all going to struggle to stay afloat in the swell of emotions, thoughts and speeches. We had not had to deal with a point of contention since I announced my feelings for Bella, and Rosalie and I had only just reached a tentative agreement to cease our continued hostilities toward each other since that argument.

Tonight Carlisle expected calm, rational discussion. I, however, was almost certain of raised voices, comments made in anger then later regretted, wounded pride, bruised relationships, and an undesired resolution if any could be reached. Bella's presence would prevent this dispute from following our usual form of solving familial rifts. Normally, I would take a quick read of everyone's thoughts, Jasper would test the emotional climate and Alice would test the future. Between the three of us, we could generally prevent any horrendous breaches and whatever issue we were facing would be quickly resolved. Adding Bella into the mix threw all those practices to the wind. Jasper was reluctant to use his gift on her and I was unable to use mine. Bella tended to make snap decisions when flustered, rendering Alice's talent virtually useless as well. Calm and rationality was about to fly out the window, making room for passion and imprudence. I wasn't sure my family would take well to this open of a discussion.

As much as I dreaded the coming confrontation, I was pleased with my own progress with Rosalie. I had only caught brief segments of her weekend with Bella, but those thoughts were enough to cause me to take pause and reevaluate the sister I had so long considered a thorn in my side. Rosalie and I had always had a tenuous relationship at best, which did not surprise me considering we never took the time to get to know each other. For years I viewed her as nothing more than a spoiled, selfish brat and I knew she thought I was a pompous, nosey prick. There was no love loss between us and we never attempted to mend our strained relationship. I could see now that I had misunderstood her intentions and her fervor for humanity. We had a long way to go, and I knew we would always fight because Rosalie and I acted like true siblings. We were far too alike for our own good, and our similarities made us clash regularly.

Since the departure of Alice and my love, Rosalie's mind had been uncharacteristically quiet. Usually in situations like this, she was the loudest voice in my head, but so far I had only caught a few errant thoughts, all of which exposed her utter dread of the coming confrontation and fear of the result.

Rosalie, like Esme, detected a change in Bella. Since our return, Bella had clung desperately to all of us, never allowing herself to be without at least one family member for any extended period of time. I too, had noticed the strange flash of her eyes tonight. It reminded me, rather painfully, of the moment in the woods when her brain registered that I was leaving her. This gaze, however, did not seem to demonstrate that Bella was afraid of our departure, but rather that she was disappointed in us and was about to call us out on our behavior. I had been on the receiving end of one of Bella's personal dissections, in both a positive and negative instance. I remember with elation when she deconstructed my heinous actions and discovered proof of my unshakable love for her. I also remember lesser sessions when she scrutinized my masochism and tendency to disrespect the privacy of others when I needed information. I could tell something was on Bella's mind and she was going to share whatever it was with the entire family during the discussion. Hopefully, Alice, Jasper and I could prevent any potentially caustic situations from developing despite our handicaps.

Regardless of how the family discussion turned out, I was going to have a discussion of my own with Alice following its conclusion. I had seen all the visions she'd had over then weekend and while I did not detect anything that caused alarm, something had set off Alice. I was confused by her response, having heard her inner monologue during her vocal diatribe. She was jealous, but felt betrayed by both Bella and Rosalie. Something more than what appeared to be an epic shopping trip of which she was not a part had my favorite sister in a bad humor. Once I discovered the root of her problems and could help calm her alarm, I was going to give her a piece of my mind for making Bella cry and for her callous statements. I did, however, know once Alice calmed down, she would feel worse about her outburst than the remorse even my most frightening scolding could evoke in her. I knew Alice loved Bella and that she never wanted to loose her again. Truthfully, only my continued guilt over separating them and need to make amends provided enough incentive to avoid tearing Alice to pieces for her actions. That, and the fact that Bella, no matter how much Alice hurt her, would kill me if I committed any harsh action against her best friend.

I heard the two of them return and I rushed downstairs to gather Bella in my arms. I took one look at her face, noting the salty tear tracks and her bloodshot eyes, and knew she had been sobbing recently. Alice did not appear to be in much better shape.

_I'm sorry Edward. I swear I didn't mean it…well I did at the time…but I didn't…I was wrong and I'm sorry._

Her apologetic thoughts helped soothe my ruffled feathers, but the real relief came from holding Bella in my arms for the first time in several days. I pressed my nose into her hair and inhaled the comforting scent while she snuggled into my icy embrace. A noise of satisfaction and comfort sounded from her, and I winced, detecting the subsequent whine of discomfort. Before I could discover the source of her discomfort, she had disentangled her limbs from my own and was walking into the house. Bella, it seemed, was on a mission and neither hell, high water, or her own suffering was going to prevent her from fulfilling it.

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_**RPOV- Monday June 25  
**_

I trudged into the dining room, wishing to prolong the inevitable trauma for as long as possible. I schooled my face into a mask of utter calm and indifference hoping my exterior would somehow bleed into the truth of my inner feelings. I couldn't even look at Bella and Alice, knowing full well they would have made up with each other. My short relationship with Bella was already falling apart and I couldn't even do anything to save it. I felt Edward squeeze my shoulder as Emmett stroked his thumb over my hand. My external façade must have been betraying my inner turmoil. I knew Bella was seated directly across from me, but I still could not bring myself to look up. I kept my gaze focused on an imperfection in the wood grain of Esme's favorite table.

Carlisle spoke first as he always did in situations such as this: "Obviously, we have a matter which needs swift attention. Alice, would you care to enlighten the rest of us as to the cause of your abnormal behavior?"

"I misinterpreted a vision and in reaction took out my anger and frustration on Bella and Rosalie. I have already, as you all know, spoken with Bella and expressed my sincerest apologies. Rosalie, if you don't mind, I'd like to speak with you when we are finished here," came Alice's reply.

I refocused my face into its mask before looking at Alice with cool eyes. I nodded my head, fearing if I spoke aloud my tone would give away my anger and fear. I almost missed Carlisle continuing.

"Assuming Alice and Rosalie are able to reach an understanding later this evening, I trust this matter has been addressed and we may all now continue with our usual activities."

I couldn't believe Carlisle could be so blind. The issue at hand was not Alice's diatribe and following apologies. The problem was my new relationship with Bella and he didn't even bother to address it. I was about to speak up when he interrupted me by continuing.

"Bella, dear, if you don't mind, I would like to have the opportunity to give you one last examination before you return to your home."

I couldn't believe he was going to let it go at that. Apparently neither could Bella. I heard her heartbeat increase and her breathing accelerate. I was shocked when she violently stood from her place and began pacing the room. She looked like a caged animal, between her movements and the wild fury in her eyes. I caught her wince when she swallowed, trying to articulate what had her so enraged.

We all watched her, stunned by her outburst, for several minutes. She would pace, then stop, look around at each of us, start to speak and then shake her head before continuing to pace. She must have repeated this process four or five times before she had finally worked out exactly what she wanted to say. I waited, with baited breath, to see what would come out of her mouth, knowing for sure it would not be anything I could expect.

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_**BPOV- Monday June 25  
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I couldn't believe it. In the matter of two minutes Carlisle had managed to gloss over the entire issue at hand and those begging to be addressed and no one even tried to stop him. They all just sat there, hands folded, watching and nodding, playing right along. It was almost as though they had never had a no holds barred family argument. I understood then why it was called a family discussion. It was far too planned and civilized to be an argument. No voices were raised, no tempers were goaded, nothing happened and absolutely nothing was resolved.

I waited a moment to see if anyone was going to bring up the chorus of dancing pink elephants in the room. When silence continued to loom oppressively, I had finally had enough. I mustered every bit of courage I had left in me, knowing I would need it all to get through this. I all but vaulted from my chair and began to pace to and fro while deciding how to handle this whole mess. Obviously, none of the Cullens felt comfortable with confrontation when dealing with an issue that involved the whole family. Their motto must have been smooth feathers and move on before it can get any worse. Well, I was of a different mindset. Their problems would continue to fester, as they had been doing, until the whole lot of them burst leaving the family bewildered, angry and unable to cope with the mess they had created of their lives. I loved them too much to allow that to happen so I decided then and there the Cullens were about to experience their very first come to Jesus meeting whether they wanted to or not.

I tried to begin several times, but the words just wouldn't come to me. I had no idea how to begin this without my mother hurtling some insult that set off my father. That was how it always worked in my house. Finally, I had decided how to ease everyone into this when Alice spoke again, apparently having had another vision.

"Oh Bella, don't, please? It wont end well. Leave it in the past."

I would have found her statement hilarious on any other occasion; right now it ignited the disappointment and aggravation I had placed in the back of my mind. I felt the sensation of Jasper attempting to calm my raging emotions, but I shook off his efforts easily with the added power of my overwhelming disappointment that he even tried. Edward was now standing, making his way over to me with his hands raised, as though indicating he was not a threat. That action finally made me reach my breaking point. I let loose a frustrated cry and immediately regretted the action, feeling my abused throat protest with a vengeance. I actually felt tears form in my eyes and I struggled to prevent their escape. I did not want to begin this by crying. I held out my hands to stop Edward's approach. I motioned for him to return to his seat and he complied rather reluctantly.

Gathering my resolve, I finally began to address the family for the first time since the start of this ridiculous evening. I never even had a chance to say anything before Carlisle interrupted me.

"Bella, I am sure what ever you have to say is important, but I must implore you to permit my examination before you attempt to speak."

Before anyone else could chime in with their lovely opinion, I spoke, desperately attempting to disguise the pain in my voice, to avoid further interruptions.

"This is utterly ridiculous and it is going to end now," I began forcefully, watching the surprise register on every face except Alice, who looked at me imploringly. "I honestly can't believe you have survived this long together acting the way you do. I don't care what it takes, you are going to deal with each other and all your baggage, and I am not going to let you continue hiding behind the personas you have all created. You are going to face your reality and you are going to do it now." My voice had reached a near hysterical pitch by the end and I was struggling to breath. I knew my throat was inflamed, but I was bound and determined to see this through, my health be damned.

It was difficult to maintain enough courage to force their hands, but I knew I had to, so I rallied myself. Carlisle began to move toward me, but I glared him into halting his progress. They all looked either afraid of me, afraid for me, or some combination of the two. I didn't really care; at least they were listening.

I hated to put her on the spot, but I figured the whole evening would make more progress if Rosalie shared her impressions first. She seemed to be the most misunderstood, so I supposed the entire family would feel more open to expressing their own causes of distress after they came to realize they did not see each other clearly. I only hoped Rosalie would trust me and not balk at my request. If not, I was about to destroy our relationship beyond repair. It was a chance I had to take, even though I wished desperately for another option.

"Rose, your family all but sacrificed you so that Edward could be happy and then didn't even bother to listen to you when you tried to talk them out of it. Instead they wrote you off as being selfish and cruel. You've endured their disapproval for more than a year, and even now, you are the first person they blame when possible."

I saw her eyes widen, as though questioning where I was going with my little summary of our talk. I did not want to disappoint her, or make the others wait any longer so I continued, addressing the rest of the family.

"I can honestly say the only person in this entire family who had always, and I mean always, had my best interests at heart is Rosalie, and yet you all treat her as a pariah. Well no more. It is time for you to all answer for your actions.

Carlisle and Esme, you let Edward leave me. Carlisle, you listened to him and when you should have used your authority to make him see the error of his ways, you just accepted his demands because you still can't treat him like a son. Esme, you value your family above all else, but that should not overshadow your ability to make an informed decision. You should have known what separation would do to both of us and what our misery would cause your family. You should have fought harder for me, but you sacrificed me to try and protect your family.

Emmett, you more than anyone, know Rosalie and what motivates her actions and yet you failed to support her, instead choosing to leave her undefended against the rest of your family. I so admire that you are an honest man through and through, but you should never have left her alone. I expected better of you.

Edward, you know I love you more than anything, but if you took the time to allow others to make their own choices, instead of relying on your gift and your sense of right and wrong, you would have avoided spending the last fifty years battling a sister you should have been cherishing.

Jasper, I know you are unhappy I am here and before any of the rest of you condemn him, understand that he has every right to feel that way. You have become so unconcerned with his problem with bloodlust that you do not appreciate his struggle. But you, Jasper, should have spoken up the moment you felt uncomfortable in your own home. But you didn't, because you aren't even sure you belong.

Alice, I know you wish you could remember anything from your past life, but that does not mean you have justification for criticizing your sister for struggling to cope with her last moments of humanity. You should have been able to commiserate, but instead you alienated her further by refusing to live in the present and deal with your issues with each other.

Rosalie, you have yet to trust yourself with anyone but Emmett in fear of betrayal, but you have committed the ultimate form of treachery against yourself by suffering in silence and not allowing your family to help you with your problems.

I don't care if I have to drag you all through this step by step, but when I am finished you are all going to finally consider each other as individuals and not in terms of your created roles. I refuse to let you hide behind your masks any more. It's time to come clean."

I had been avoiding looking at them during my impassioned speech, but now that I was finished I was honestly curious to see their reaction. I needn't have bothered looking up. The moment I finished speaking, the silence that had accompanied my surprising declarations was broken by a cacophony of responses. It had taken a lot of effort and I felt as though my throat was on fire, but I had finally achieved my goal: the Cullens were arguing for the first time in their long history. It was going to be a long night, but I had a feeling, once they could work through their problems as a family, they would be stronger and finally as indivisible as they believed they had always been.

Lurking in the back of my mind, however, was the concern that I had just opened up a can of worms that was better left closed. I could only watch and wait; soon enough the result of my interference would be evident. From the bits of speech I could make out, Rosalie was the target of most of the indignation. Apparently, blaming her for family discord was a timeless technique. I hoped I had encouraged her sufficiently and that she would respond with her own ire. She had the most to voice and I allowed myself a small smirk of triumph when I finally heard her furious voice above the rest.

"I have had enough! Bella was right: you are so quick to condemn me that you can't even see you are at fault! Well, no more. Sit down and listen to me. NOW!"

Rosalie fueled by righteous indignation was a sight to behold and I went back my place at the table, glad to see her finally taking control and allowing her family to hear her true concerns. Together we had broken her barriers, and I silently gave thanks that her anger was not directed at me, but where it was rightfully deserved. Rosalie Hale was about to stand up for herself and I was glad to have a first row seat.

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**AN: I don't know about all of you, but I am ready to see the Cullens finally confront each other on all these issues that have never been resolved. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I made sure it was nice and long since you all seemed to enjoy that from the last one.**

**Please review. I truly appreciate it when you take the time to let me know what you've thought of my work. Again, thanks for reading! ^_^**


	10. Breaking Down The Walls

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: So here is part one of the eagerly awaited confrontation with the Cullens. I was going to try to fit all of it in one chapter, but considering this is just over 10,000 words long, I decided to split it into two. **

**There is some language in this chapter, so I thought I would take the time to warn you now before you were blindsided while reading. I am sorry if it offends anyone. I felt the emotions would be more accurately expressed if the Cullens were not limited in their diction.**

**There are also direct references to the circumstances involving Rosalie's change. I apologize also, if those references cause anyone pain or offense. They are an integral part of her story I felt needed to be addressed.**

**A huge thank you to all of you who reviewed last chapter, and to those of you who have been following this story from the beginning. It means so much to me to hear from all of you. Please write a review, send a PM or an e-mail and let me know what you think.**

**As always, thank you for reading and please take a moment to review. ^_^**

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_**RPOV- Monday June 25**_

I stood there and allowed my family to assault me for a few minutes, maintaining my controlled façade even when their cruel words cut into me, but one comment finally pushed me over the edge I had been teetering on all weekend.

Over the clamor I distinctly heard Jasper's southern drawl condemning me: "If Rosalie could have reigned in her emotions for once, I could have prevented this bedlam, but no, she couldn't even put aside her feelings for the benefit of the rest of us."

My fists clinched, my eyes narrowed into slits and I glared accusingly at my supposed twin; he at least had the decency to look troubled by the waves of betrayal I was sure were rolling off me. I tried several times to gain the attention of my feuding family to no avail. Finally, I reached my limit and I mustered up everything I had in me before screaming over the clamor.

"I have had enough! Bella was right: you are so quick to condemn me that you can't even see you are at fault! Well, no more. Sit down and listen to me. NOW!"

My furious outburst had caught my family off guard and they all slowly sank into their chairs, expressions of astonishment playing upon all their faces.

I felt the prod of Jasper's gift and my fury reached new heights. I could not believe he would be sufficiently idiotic to attempt to sooth me at this moment. Obviously, my brother had no respect for my right to feel my emotions in the order and quantity I wished.

"How dare you," I accused him. "How dare you have the audacity to even suggest my emotions are the cause for all your faults finally blowing up in your faces. From the moment I entered this life I have felt nothing except that my existence was a mistake. No one condemns you for not being able to control your bloodlust because of your past, but it is somehow my fault I am bitter because everything I ever wanted was taken away from me; it wasn't even remotely my choice."

I then continued addressing the rest of my family with a sneer:

"I was raped damn it, brutally and horrifically violated by the man I was supposed to marry and then left to die, broken and alone on a street in a pool of my own blood. Sometimes those are the only moment of my humanity I can recall. You cannot possibly understand what I went through that night and what I go through now each time I relive it through a memory. Just when the sweet relief of death was about to overcome me, my one reprieve from the torture I had endured was taken away just because Carlisle couldn't bear to see my life ended.

No one ever asked me what I wanted; no one took my feelings into consideration. Obviously, based on the past few years, no one takes my feelings into consideration even now. I have had to listen to all of you complain about me for decades, but I am still here, because this is the only family I have. Everything I ever wanted was stolen from me, so I tried to be happy with what I could have, but how do you think it makes me feel that the family I desperately cling to, because it's the only part of my humanity I can keep, doesn't really even want me? If you all didn't think you were so god damned noble, you would have thrown me away years ago, just like Royce. But that was exactly what it felt like to me when Edward brought Bella home and you all turned against me. You had found the replacement you were looking for, so you could finally be rid of me. Throw me out like some used toy you'd tired of, and even still I stayed here because you are the only thing I have. I endured your scorn and disapproval, suffering in silence because I couldn't bear to loose you."

I turned my focus back to Jasper, who now looked horrified.

"So, I ask you again, brother of mine, how can you sit there and say that I am incapable of controlling my emotions, when all I have been doing since I was unwillingly turned is distance myself from hurt and pain because I love you all too much to make you endure my unhappiness more than I can help?"

I felt like I had just released everything I had in me, feeling so drained I really didn't want to go on, but then I glanced at Bella and she just looked so damn proud of me that I found the strength to continue.

"Bella spent this whole weekend trying to convince me that I was worth fixing, and that none of you would allow me to stay broken because you loved me too much. But from where I stand, Bella is the only one who cared enough to tell me she loved and needed me because I was important to her. She even went so far as to say she would sacrifice her happiness so I could have mine. None of you have ever done that for me and I want to know why."

I could feel my emotions overwhelming me again, crashing down like a huge wave, and crumbling what little hold I still had on maintaining my anger, driving me back into desolation. Hitches in my breath and sobs began to interrupt my questions and my voice lost more of its power with each word, finally fading into near silence.

"Why didn't you fight harder for me when I couldn't fight for my self? Why…why did you allow me to suffer…alone for all these years, knowing full well why I was so… unhappy? Why…why…why did you turn against me…when I needed you most? Why…wasn't…I…enough…for…you?"

All the progress I have made with Bella over the weekend had been erased in that moment; I felt like I was that broken girl left to die again. I was sure I had just sealed my own fate. There was no way they would want me now, knowing how much resentment I harbored, seeing just how far from their created version of Rosalie Hale I really was. I was a scared, insecure girl desperately waiting for a fairytale ending that was never coming. I knew they saw me as a fierce avenger, but I was tired of being fierce. I sank to the ground under the realization that none of them had said anything, confirming my worst fears. The cataclysmic event I had been dreading all weekend had just occurred and I was woefully unprepared for how to deal with it.

Sobs ripped through my body as I sat, clutching myself as if that could hold me together. I screwed my eyes shut to protect me from their expressions, never wishing more than at that moment I could cry and find some sort of release. Strangled keening began to erupt through my sobs as I fell completely to pieces. I had never fallen so far, not even after I was violated. I was frightened by the onslaught of emotional distress, which only compounded the anguish I was feeling. I felt myself loosing my grip on reality, my vision blurring and the rest of my senses dulling.

I could vaguely feel pressure around my body and the distorted sound of a voice, but I couldn't seem to make sense of either. Terror engulfed me as I realized I was trapped within myself with no idea how to get out. I was confined to my dark prison of torment, screaming for Emmett and Bella, desperate to fight my way back to reality.

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_**BPOV- Monday June 25  
**_

I watched in fascination as Rosalie finally expressed the feelings she'd be bottling up since her change. I knew releasing those emotions would be a cathartic experience for her. She was a wonder to behold in her furious glory. I caught her gaze as she called Jasper out on his callous comment. She must have seen the approval and pride in my eyes, because she surprised me by continuing on. As her speech continued, my concern grew and I began to realize my fears of opening up a can of worms were founded after all.

I was horrified as I watched Rosalie crumble. I could tell the moment she stopped believing what I had told her and gone back to her past convictions. The breakdown she was experiencing now was staggering and far beyond what I had witnessed this weekend. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her as she sank to the floor, and I cringed as I watched her grip herself as I had all those months ago. What finally turned my concern to terror was watching the light fade from her tawny eyes. I remembered well the moment I lost touch with reality and I knew that was what was happening to Rosalie. I ungracefully fell from my chair and crawled frantically to her prone form, clutching her to my body in a desperate attempt to prevent her falling into the darkness.

My terror turned into savage fury when I heard her whimpering my name and calling for Emmett. I trembled from the force of my anger, which eclipsed my previous irritation. I did not need to summon courage now. Watching Rosalie fall to pieces, and remembering my own experience, gave me the strength to carry on. No one should have to feel that pain. I had never felt such a force of emotions. I could not hold in the hostile accusations that ached to burst forth.

"What have you done!" I screeched. "Do you see what your blindness has caused now? Do you see what you have reduced her to? Royce King may have violated Rosalie, but you have destroyed her. How could you do this to her? All she ever wanted was to have a family that loved her and that she could trust. Was that really so much to ask for?"

I surveyed the room as I berated them and was surprised to find my fury did not decline once I saw their reactions. Carlisle sat frozen, only his eyes betraying the horror he felt seeing his eldest daughter reduced to a quivering pile of limbs. Esme seemed to be heartbroken, as though she had only now comprehended what was Rosalie's heart's desire and could not believe she had misjudged her daughter so thoroughly. Edward looked at me with the same profound sadness that polluted his eyes the final days before he left me. I couldn't bear to hold his gaze long. Jasper reflected my terror as he sat clutching Alice, who kept shaking her head, eyebrows furrowed, as her body shuddered. Emmett was by far the worst to see. He looked utterly defeated, but his arm was still extended as though reaching for Rosalie, desperate to comfort her, but unsure if his touch would be welcome. Rosalie made the decision for him when she whimpered his name again, terror and pain evident even when her voice was so quiet.

Emmett flew from his seat and nearly knocked me down in his frenzy to reach his suffering wife. He curled her to his chest, and for the first time, she appeared small in his arms. The Rosalie I was used to seeing stood proudly next to her beloved and seemed to match his presence with the strength of her own. Now, beaten and broken down, she looked like a rag doll. Emmett pressed her face into the crook of his neck, hiding her vacant expression from the rest of us.

I was close enough I could hear his frantic whispers.

"Rosie, Rosie baby, please don't leave me. Please, I love you. Don't do this to me. Don't leave me alone. I need you. We're a team, you and me. Damn it, Rosalie, you promised me…you promised me eternity. I don't want it without you. You've got to come back to me. I'll do anything, I swear, but please Rosie, please don't leave me."

My heart twisted after hearing the utter misery in his voice. If Rosalie did not return, I feared we would loose Emmett too. I regretted pushing them into this confrontation, never imagining Rosalie would be the causality. Huge tears rolled down my cheeks as I realized I might have lost my sister just when I had finally found her. I scooted closer to where she was cradled in his arms and rested on his arm near her head.

I murmured, hoping she could hear me.

"Rosalie, you've got to fight. Please, don't give in. Don't let the darkness overwhelm you. We've got so much to do together. I need you to come back. Please, Rose. If you won't come back for me, please come back for Emmett. Please don't give up."

Emmett and I continued to speak to her, hoping the sound of our voices would help her find her way back. I was so frightened for her, knowing how long it took me to recover when I lost hold of reality. I prayed Rosalie was stronger than I was and that it wouldn't be months before she managed to find her way out of the darkness.

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_**RPOV- Monday June 25  
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The darkness was starting to engulf me when the hazy voices became louder and less distorted. It took several minutes before I could distinguish who was talking, and I was relieved to find the darkness retreating once I discovered the voices belonged to my beloved and Bella. Quite a few more minutes passed before I could discern words from the garbled sounds. At first all I could hear was my name and 'please.' As their voices became clearer, the darkness faded further and further away.

I began to feel what I assumed to be Emmett's arms cradling my body and a weight on my back I interpreted to be Bella. I could also feel a damp spot near my shoulder and when I smelt salt I understood Bella had been crying. Beneath the nearly overpowering smell of her tears, I could detect the scent that was truly and wholly Emmett. It was a scent I had come to rely on as my safety net- a woodsy musk with a hint of citrus. In his arms, I knew no harm would come to me. I allowed it to envelop me and was pleased when the darkness retreated fully and my sight began to clear. After a few more minutes, could see each fiber comprising the collar of Emmett's shirt. I knew then I had fought successfully back to reality. I let out a sigh and snaked my arm around Emmett's shoulder to pull myself closer. I felt him tense and then relax immediately before he nearly strangled me clutching me tighter than he ever had before. My heart broke again when I heard the agony in his muffled voice.

"Oh Rosie, I thought you left me. I though I'd lost you forever. I love you baby. I need you. Please don't leave me again."

I could only nod my head into his shoulder as I reveled in our proximity and his declarations. I wanted a family, but if I was truly honest with myself, all I really needed was Emmett. We sat hanging on to each other, basking in our love. I finally regained enough of my senses to realize Bella was still behind me, now running her fingers through the end of my hair, resting next to me on Emmett's arm.

I surprised them both, by turning in his grasp to peer at her. She looked utterly miserable, bright red eyes still swimming with unshed tears, and salt lines evident on her flushed cheeks. I turned fully in Emmett's arms, my back resting against his chest, his arms now around my waist. When I was finally situated comfortably, I grasped Bella lightly and pulled her into my arms. As soon as her head reached my shoulder, she began to sob and her tears flowed once again down her face.

"I'm sorry," she wailed, "I never meant for you to get hurt. I shouldn't have pushed. I was so scared."

I knew she wanted to say more, but I could hear in her voice how painful it was for her to speak, much less to say anything crying as hard as she was. I knew her continued tears had just as much to do with her worry as with her increased pain and the reminder of how she had recently spent months of her life. I had a new respect for her. I was only stuck in the darkness for a little less than half an hour. How Bella managed to recover after spending months there astounded me. Her tears eventually subsided, but I could hear small whimpers of pain coming from her abused throat. I turned back to Emmett, loosing myself for a moment in his golden eyes before remembering what I wanted to ask him.

"Will you do something for me?" I asked, keeping my voice low so only he could hear me.

"Rosie, I'd do anything you want me except for leaving you. I could never do that, even if you asked."

I smiled a little at his response, believing it wholeheartedly as the truth.

"Will you go get a purple popsicle from the freezer?"

"Sure, babe, but what are you going to do with it?"

"It's for Bella."

His eyes softened when I said her name and only then did I realize Emmett really did consider Bella his little sister. I knew he had a large family during his human life, with little siblings galore. We couldn't really distinguish older and younger siblings between the five of us, but at least for the four who were not romantically involved with her, Bella was the little sister we all never knew we wanted and needed. Emmett gave me one last squeeze before lumbering off to the kitchen, returning seconds later with the requested purple popsicle. He settled to my side, pulling Bella out of my embrace and into his, offering her the frozen treat after she was curled against him, obviously worn out by the evenings events. Her eyes lit up upon seeing it and she smiled at me before slurping on it happily.

Our tender moment was broken when Esme stood from her seat and made her way over to our little huddle on the floor. I immediately dreaded what she was about to do, wary of her reaction to my tirade and subsequent breakdown. I watched as she gracefully sank to her knees in front of me, staring unnervingly into my eyes as though she were looking for something. It was like she was really looking at me for the first time in decades and seeing me for who I was and not who she thought I should be. We continued to stare at each other for what felt like hours before she reached up and took my face in her hands.

"I'm sorry my darling," she began, choking a bit on her words, her voice thick with emotion. "I am so very sorry you have suffered for so long. I swore to myself long ago I would never become like my own parents, but here we are. I sacrificed you, just as they sacrificed me, for the good of the family. I never should have assumed you were fine once you found Emmett. I still struggle with my past even having Carlisle as long as I have. There is no reason the traumas you endured would not affect your new life as well. We used to be so close, but we grew apart over the years. I thought you didn't need me anymore, but I never thought you would interpret my distance as though I was replacing you with Alice and then again with Bella. You were my first daughter in either of my lives, and as such you hold a very special place in my heart. I've missed you my dear Rosalie, and I promise I will cherish you as you deserve from now on. I love you, my darling."

I gaped at my adoptive mother, nearly unable to believe what she was saying. I reached toward her, placing my hand on her smooth cheek, failing to remember the last time I had touched my mother, much less embraced her.

"I've missed you too, Mother," I sighed as I leaned into her, welcoming the embrace that had been years overdue. The connection that had been broken for so long was finally beginning to mend.

I sensed movement near me, but I was too content in the arms of my mother to bother to see who approaching our huddled bodies. I felt another set of arms encircle me from behind and a head come to rest on top of my own. Carlisle's scent washed down upon me and I leaned back a little into him. Never in my entire vampire existence had my parents held me in such a way. It was as though they finally recognized how much I needed them, and they were happy to shower me with affection.

They both pulled back after a few minutes and I felt Carlisle grasp my hand, causing me to turn and look at him. His solemn expression made me freeze a little. My building terror must have shown in my eyes because he spoke low and soft to soothe my fears.

"Calm Rosalie. I must to ask you something crucial, something I should have asked you long ago."

I swallowed, my venom sticking to my throat uncomfortably, and nodded for him to continue.

"What do you want, dear girl?"

I did not understand his question, furrowing my brow in confusion. He continued speaking.

"I've never given you the chance to express what it is you want. I never gave you the choice. I am asking you now, and I will honor whatever you request. You deserve this and so much more, but it is all I can offer. What do you want Rosalie?"

"I want…" I began, but then stopped. I took a moment to consider what it was I truly wanted, before beginning to speak again. "I want a whole family, free of deception and pretense. I want you to all know I love you, and I want to know that you love me. I think the only way we can really be a family is if we continue to discuss all those grievances and insecurities we have all been holding in all these years. We can't love and cherish one another until we can all understand each other. Please, Bella was right. It is time we all faced reality."

I was worried he wouldn't agree, seeing how much my own breakdown had affected the family, but he smiled sadly before placing a tender kiss on my forehead. He turned to address the rest of the family.

"I agree with Rosalie and Bella. We have all been hiding behind our charade for so long we have forgotten who we really are. Let us resume our places and we will continue what we have already begun."

He turned back to me and embraced me once again before standing and offering me his hand. He pulled me to my feet with a gentle tug and used his hand on the small on my back to guide me back to my seat. Bella, I noticed, was still in Emmett's arms as he waked toward Edward and transferred her to his lap. The dark circles under her bloodshot eyes worried me, but I knew better than to suggest she go to bed while we continue the discussion. It was her idea and she deserved to be here, if not for that reason, for no other than that she was part of the family. I scooted my chair a little closer to Emmett and rested my head on his shoulder while he rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand. I took a moment to notice all the couples were touching in some manner; it was as if we all drew comfort from our mates. I felt drained from my brief time in the darkness and I had a feeling I was going to be emotionally raw by the time we had finished, but I hoped the fresh wounds we were inevitably about to open would heal cleanly, instead of continuing to fester as they had before.

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_**BPOV- Monday June 25  
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Relief was not a strong enough word for what I felt when Rosalie pulled herself out of her mental prison. I never wanted her, or anyone, to ever experience what I went through, even for a brief time. It brought the trauma back to my mind in full force and the only reason I was holding myself together was because of Edward's arms wrapped around my body grounding me in the present.

Carlisle cleared his throat; it seemed he was going to be the first in the Cullen family to share his thoughts tonight.

"Bella, first I must apologize to you. You were right, I should have refused Edward's request last fall. I am terribly sorry for the repercussion of my actions. I grossly underestimated you in every way and I understand now why you felt betrayed. I am not infallible and the pressure to meet such a standard wears on me. You all seem to think I possess the answers to every query you ask, but even after three centuries I am far from an ultimate source of knowledge.

Obviously, I had no idea the family was in such dire straights. I am clearly not always as perceptive as you would all like to credit me. I worry constantly that we will somehow betray our secret, bringing down the wrath of the Volutri upon this family, and I could not bear to see any of you harmed because of my negligence. I take responsibility for forcing you all to maintain your created roles too long and not allowing your true selves to shine through. I created an environment that was not healthy for any member of this family, and for that I apologize profusely."

"Carlisle," Edward spoke up, "When our family consisted of you, myself and Esme, you spent more time at home and less at the hospital. Our dynamic now reminds me of our first year together and I am confident you only mean to help as many people as possible, but it might benefit everyone if you worked a little less and spent more time here."

"Yeah," agreed Emmett, "When was the last time we went hunting together, Carlisle? You were supposed to come with us this weekend, but you took that extra shift at the last minute and then couldn't go."

"I would love if you were home more, dear," added Esme.

"I had no idea I had all but abandoned my family," glumly admitted Carlisle, "I feel such happiness when I am with you. I suppose I worked more than necessary to somehow prove to myself and to you that I was worthy to be your leader. I know from what I've seen, I am lacking in comparison with other leaders of our kind."

Jasper interrupted then, not allowing Carlisle to further berate himself. "Of course you're different Carlisle. You are the head of a family not the leader of a coven. If you were anything at all like the others, I never would have stayed. I've had enough violence and slaughter to last me several lifetimes."

I saw the rest nod in agreement. I knew had his family's best interests at heart, but he needed to know his presence was necessary for it to function properly.

"Carlisle, love, we don't expect you to be perfect. We just need you. You created this family and you hold it together in times of crisis. Allow yourself to enjoy what your hard work has reaped. What ever debt you felt you needed to pay, or what ever you felt you had to prove has long since been fulfilled." Esme's words were tender and full of love.

Carlisle looked as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, but there was still something marring his usually clear expression.

"Rosalie," he looked longingly at his daughter, "Do you resent me for bringing you into this life and stealing the only release you had from your torment? Will you forgive me for my injustices against you? "

It seemed as if his worth rested on her response.

"It seems we have suffered equally. Whatever resentment I might have harbored for you vanished the moment you changed Emmett for me; I forgave you when you gave me away at my first wedding, telling me you were proud of the woman I had become and wishing me all the happiness the world had to offer. If you hadn't saved me, I never would have found Emmett or my family. I just need to know that I am valued as much as anyone else, and for the longest time I have not felt that way."

His eyes were still pained with the closing of her last statement, but his expression was once again calm.

"I assure you, my daughter, you will not be undervalued ever again. I believe the fear of loosing you moments ago provided the necessary shock to show us you are something to be cherished. I am sorry you had to feel pain in order for the family to remember your preciousness."

Rosalie inclined her head in a gesture of acceptance of his response.

Esme spoke up again, "Alice darling you've been uncharacteristically quiet since your return with Bella. I know we are all interested to hear exactly what caused your distress earlier."

Alice grimaced, looking as though a vision had told her she would be speaking next, but that she had been hoping she was wrong.

"I thought Bella was replacing me."

"In which sense dear? You thought Bella was replacing you in the family or that she was substituting you with someone else?" Esme persisted.

"I…" she stuttered. It was strange to see chatterbox Alice at a loss for words. Then again, she did not look like her normal pixie self either. Her hair stuck out at odd angles, and not in the chic way she usually wore it, but in a half manic fashion. Her eyes, usually bright and joyful, were narrowed and dark and her mouth was drawn into a grim line. She appeared to shrink into herself, making her even more tiny that usual. In short, Alice looked frail.

"I saw…several visions that led me to believe…" she chose her words carefully. "Bella and Rosalie were becoming close."

"Alice," Emmett's voice reprimanded sharply, "I am disappointed in you." I watched her shrink even smaller. "I never though I'd see the day you would hide behind your visions. Own up to what you've done little sister."

"I don't take kindly to you speaking to my wife in that manner, Emmett. I suggest you watch your tone," Jasper threatened.

"Oh, like your wife watched her tone when she was viciously attacking my wife and her best friend. Don't defend her Jasper, even you know she was wrong to go off on both of them like that."

"Well at least I still defend my wife whether or not I agree with her. You just leave yours to fend for her self against the sharks. Some husband you are."

The more heated the argument became, the more I cringed back into Edward. I was afraid it was dangerously close to coming to blows. Thankfully Esme jumped in at that moment, preventing the escalation.

"Gentlemen, that will be quite enough thank you very much. I will not have you attacking each other in such a way. You will remember your manners, or you will not enjoy the consequences."

At that moment, Esme-Wonder Mom- earned some major points for successfully avoiding the impending crisis. Both boys, looking sufficiently chastised, returned to their seats.

"Alice, avoiding this is not going to make it better in the long run. I know you are aware of that," Edward gently reminded her. I was surprised he was speaking to her in such a placid tone. Then again, if Edward were going to reprimand her for her previous behavior, he would have the decency to do such a thing in private, away from prying eyes and ears.

Alice continued to hesitate. By now, even I was disappointed in my best friend. I knew she was still hurting over what she'd recently learned of her past and the ramifications she believed would come from that knowledge, but she also knew she had a lot of apologizing to do to Rosalie.

Rosalie's weary voice sounded: "Alice, enough. Just spit it out already. Everyone is going to forgive you instantly anyway. They always do."

Alice bristled at that comment and I flinched at the verbal backlash that sounded. Apparently, Alice had not worked through all her anger and Rosalie was going to be the person upon whom she let loose the rest.

"Fine," she started, and then she got progressively louder as she continued to speak. "Fine! You want to know what I saw? I got bombarded with visions of you all Bella all weekend. At first I was so proud that you were going to get off your high horse and give her a chance. What I didn't realize was that you were just going to replace me with her and she was going to do the same thing. I set up the whole damned weekend for you and you stole my best friend from me. I had to watch as vision after vision of the two of you bonding barraged me. I saw you enjoying all the things together you both hate doing with me. I tried to comes to terms with it, telling myself the three of us would have so much fun together now that the two of you could stand to spend time with each other. I had just about convinced myself nothing was going on when the final vision hit me: you and Bella in the mall for hours. You dragged her around every store and kept changing your mind about what you were going to buy and she never complained once. She just smiled and hung on your every word. I saw you decide to go when I was hunting so I would never know. Well, guess what? Your little plan backfired. I guess you forgot I see all your decisions, huh Blondie? So yes, I was upset and rightfully so. I already apologized to Bella because it isn't her fault, but I am never going to forgive you for trying to steal my best friend."

'Oh, Alice,' I groaned internally. There were so many way of handling her anger that would not have resulted in the violent attack I had just witnessed. Apparently, Emmett was not too happy with her method of explaining her earlier explosion because he shot up from his chair and leaned over the table to growl menacingly at her. She growled right back and I was sure she was about to jump across the room and attack him, when Rosalie stood up and pushed Emmett back in his chair before walking over to Alice and grabbing her by the arm to force her to stand still and listen.

"Sometimes I really can't believe you," Rosalie began. Alice looked as though she was going to interrupt but Rosalie's pained glare stopped her before the sound could even leave her mouth.

"You know," she continued, "that I am better at blocking your little gift than anyone else in this family. You know and yet you jumped to conclusions over one vision that never would have set you off before. Your own insecurities made you believe I was stealing your best friend, not anything you saw in that vision, so tell us once and for all Alice, what made you take a trip back to the nut house."

Rosalie hit the nail on the head and hit Alice below the belt with that one comment. It was harsh, but it was effective in breaking down the last of Alice's defenses.

"How dare you ever reference a mental institution to me! How cruel can you be?"

"Obviously, just as cruel as you can be to Bella. Enough stalling, Alice."

"Fine, but once I tell you, I want you to tell me exactly what was going in that vision since everyone seems to think I've got it wrong."

"Agreed. Now get on with it."

"You want it, you got it. I don't remember anything about my human life and all I had to hear for half a century was how you suffered one night during your perfect human existence. At least you have your memories. I have nothing. I woke up alone with only my visions. I will never know what I was like during my human life. I have no memory of my parents, or my sister. I had no idea what music I liked, or which books I preferred to read. I have no idea if I even went by Alice. I don't even know if I am anything like what I was when I was human. I don't even know what I looked like before I was committed.

I made the best of what I had and then you came along and made me question if I could truly be happy. I was content with my life and then you had to make me second-guess myself. I tried to do everything I could think of to bond with you and you were having none of it so I gave up. Then when I finally found out something from my past, it was horrific. My parents put me in an institution and told my family I was dead. They left me there to rot, and rot I did based on the medical records I managed to recover. I endured years of shock treatments as they tried to force the 'demons' from my head. I experienced exorcism not only once, but several times. And if that were not enough, I had a psychotic vampire stalking me, and another who coveted me. It is a miracle I can even function with the damage my brain must have endured.

You and Bella both tossed me away just like my parents, because you could have something normal. And then you were going to flaunt it in my face. Bella was the first thing I've ever had that even hinted that I was ever human. I had a best friend. But you just had to take that away from me too. I am sick and tired of you tainting everything good that comes my way. You don't see me lamenting the fact that my parents wanted nothing to do with me. I've accepted my human years were terrible. You need to do the same."

Alice was just digging herself deeper and deeper into a hole. Rosalie looked as though she wanted to be angry, but couldn't muster the emotion. She settled for resigned misery.

"Alice, do you really think you would be able to dismiss your human years so easily if you remembered them? If you had even a brief memory of the shock treatments you would understand why I can't just accept them and move on. They are a part of me I would gladly get rid of if I could, but every year I find something new that triggers a memory of the rape and I relive it in perfect vampire clarity. I can't control it. I would give anything to be able to forget. Honestly, I am glad you can't remember because your most vivid memories would be your worst and I don't want you to have to suffer.

It wasn't that I wasn't interested in bonding with you. I was jealous of you. You took to being a vampire so naturally and everyone loved you right from the start. I wasn't trying to take Bella from you either. I had a best friend once and I do remember what it was like. You deserved Bella and she deserved you. I understand that."

"Well, if that is true then how do you explain my vision? Sweet-talk your way out of that one Rosalie."

"Alice, " Rosalie began brokenly, "I kept changing my mind on purpose, so you wouldn't be able to see what I was going to buy or whom it was for."

"Why would it matter, Rosalie?"

"Because I was taking Bella shopping so we could pick out a present for you as a thank you for setting up this weekend for us. I thought if I could surprise you, you would like it better and then the three of us would be able to do more things together. I wasn't trying to exclude you, but you couldn't very well be there if we were shopping for you and I know you get distracted when you are hunting so I thought that might stop you from seeing what we chose."

Alice looked as stunned as I, and apparently everyone else felt. Her mouth opened and closed, making her look like a fish. She couldn't seem to respond. I was shocked. I knew Alice was going to feel remorse once she discovered the truth about the vision, but I never imagined she would have been so far off the mark. Her shock gave way to utter agony. Her hand came up to her mouth as though it would stifle the sob that then erupted. She met Rosalie's gaze for a few seconds before her face crumpled and her head bowed.

"Bella…told me…" she faltered more and more with every word. "She said…I should…have…known better…that…my visions…aren't always…what I…think…they are." Sobs continued to interrupt her speech. "I…just…wanted…just…wanted to…have something…that made…me seem…more…human…I thought…I…I…oh God,…I…please…I was…wrong…sorry…so sorry."

Whatever else Alice was trying to say was lost to her sobs. She had more than learned her lesson this time and I wished it had been less painful. No matter how much she hurt me this afternoon, she was my best friend and I never wanted to see her in such agony. I was about to walk over to where she was standing, and it looked as though Jasper wanted to comfort her as well, but we never got the chance.

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_**RPOV- Monday June 25  
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I knew the moment Alice understood what a monumental mistake she had made. She looked into my eyes for a brief moment and I saw the hurt and pain I felt reflected back to me in them. She was truly sorry and I would forgive her, but it would not be today. She had wounded me too deep for her offenses to be so easily forgotten. I felt my resolve waiver as I watched her face crumple and heard her stumbling apology. I felt an overwhelming desire to comfort her when she sobbed. I had never seen Alice so distraught, and since the entire point of the discussion was to air our grievances and move on, I resolved myself to comforting her. I knew she would never be able to come to terms with what she had done until I'd forgiven her. I also knew if I had been in her shoes, I likely would have jumped to the same conclusion. I, of all people, could not find fault with her for protecting what she loved with unwavering ferocity.

I saw Bella fidget, likely fighting her desire to come console Alice. Jasper too looked as though he was about to intervene. I, however, recognized this moment could be pivotal to the salvaging of my relationship with Alice, my continued relationship with Bella, and it would also hopefully set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Acting almost on pure impulse, I sat down in Alice's chair and pulled her into my lap, allowing her to sob her heart out in my arms. Any other day I would have found it amusing how many times today members of this family had cried in the arms of another. We generally weren't such pansies about our emotions, but it was more than obvious to me that years of hurt and resentment had boiled over at this moment and we all needed the release in whatever way we could get it.

Alice quieted quickly, her small body not made for prolonged bouts of emotional deluge.

"I'm really, truly sorry, Rosalie," she whispered so that only I could hear.

"I know you are, Alice. We'll be okay," I responded in kind.

"Will we though? Haven't I ruined everything?"

"No pixie," I promised, applying the term of endearment for her that I hadn't used for several decades. "Did you throw out your favorite pair of Manolo Blahnik's when that idiot scuffed them in the club? No, you took them home and worked for days to repair the damage. Somehow I expect the same thing will happen here. The damage isn't permanent and soon enough we'll be good as new, okay."

For the first time since the family returned home, Alice's face lit up in her trademark 100-watt smile and her eyes regained some of their sparkle. Just as soon as I detected the sparkle, her eyes glazed over and she stilled in my arms. A few seconds later the smile was back full force and she was twinkling like a Christmas tree while bouncing slightly in excitement.

"We're going shopping, all three of us next week, and it is going to be amazing!" she gushed.

I couldn't help but smile indulgently feeding off the positive energy she seemed to be radiating. It was a nice change from the angst and anger that had been dominating the room for the past hour. I was reveling in the moment when Emmett spoke up.

"Babe, are you really going to let it go at that? I saw you this afternoon when she left and I heard what she just said not ten minutes ago. I don't understand."

"Of course you don't, Emmett," joked Edward.

I knew Emmett was already on edge and Edward's comment would make him topple over. He let loose another growl, this time directed at Edward. I was afraid we were about to finally see the family come to blows.

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_**BPOV- Monday June 25  
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I couldn't help but feel a little smug that Emmett was getting a taste of his own medicine. I took the chance to speak up, my throat having calmed down a bit.

"Now you see how it feels, don't you, Emmett? Now imagine how much worse it is for me when you tease me. I really am clumsy; you just pretend to be obtuse."

"Bells," his growling ceased and his eyes became pained, "I didn't mean anything by it earlier, I swear. Don't stay mad for keeps, please?"

He looked so vulnerable, as though he truly feared my rejection. I could no sooner maintain my previous irritation with Emmett than I could willingly stay away from my Edward. Mustering the meager strength I had left and ignoring the fire in my throat, I set forth to gently chide him into realizing just where his faults lay, and reassuring him I would always love him no matter what.

"Emmett, you know I love you and that I can't stay mad at you, but you need to stop and think about what you are saying before you find yourself in more situations like today. Your brazen personality is endearing, but sometimes you come off as insensitive, which I know you aren't because I've seen how you care for your family. You've limited yourself to being the jokester of the family, but I have to believe there is more to you than that. And Jasper has a point, just because you don't agree with Rosalie, you shouldn't let her stand alone. It doesn't matter that she can fight her own battles; she shouldn't have to. You should always be by her side, regardless. Don't make the same mistake again."

"I didn't mean to make her feel alone, but I just wanted her to see how much we needed you. I knew she would love you if she just gave you a chance. I'm sorry Rosie, if you thought I loved you any less just because I didn't agree with you. It tore me apart to see you so unhappy, but I didn't know how to defend Bella and you at the same time. I knew you could stand up for yourself, but I was afraid she wouldn't be able to," he responded.

"I know, Em. I just need to know, at the end of it all, you are going to be on my side, even if you think I am wrong. I need to know you wont ever desert me," she pleaded.

He pulled her closer and whispered something I couldn't quite make out, but everyone else seemed pleased by whatever he'd said, especially Rosalie, who regained some of her lost spark.

"I don't like to see any of you unhappy and if making a fool out of myself can bring you even a little joy I am more than willing to look like an idiot every hour or every day," he continued.

"Son, please don't demean yourself purely for our comfort," pleaded Carlisle, "We want you to be happy as well and I know it troubles you when people assume you are somehow lacking in terms of intelligence."

"There is obviously so much you all never see of Emmett because I have used him as my own personal shield, preventing you all from spending the time with him that you should. There is something I think I should show you." And with that Rosalie retreated briefly to what I assumed was her bedroom and returned seconds later clutching something in her hands.

I watched in fascination as she produced what appeared to be a small wooden box shaped like a heart. Upon further inspection, I noticed delicate woodwork, meticulously carved in intricate designs all over the box. What struck me most was the inscription following the curves along the sides of the heart: _You will always be my angel, pure and beautiful, keeper of my heart, and savior of my soul. _

I took a moment to appreciate the astoundingly complex carving of the top of the box of an angel leaning over a man, her hand grasping his. The figures looked astonishingly like Emmett and Rosalie. I was so caught up in admiring the box I nearly missed when Rosalie began to speak again.

"Emmett made this for me to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. I had seen a box similar to this in a store once and made a comment about it. He remembered, and instead of returning to the store, he made a trip back to the woods where I found him and used part of one of the trees to make this box. He carved the whole thing himself, including the inscription and the image on the top. I've never shown it to anyone, because I wanted that one part of Emmett all to myself, but now I think it is time I shared it with you," she explained.

"I never knew you were so talented. Where ever did you learn such a craft?" inquired Alice.

Emmett looked bashful, as though he were uncomfortable that everyone new of his hidden talent.

"It was something my father taught me when I was human because I wanted to give my mother a gift for her birthday and there wasn't any money to buy her something. I spent months learning how to carve, ruining a tree's worth of wood before I finally made something worthy of giving her. I never thought about it again once I was changed until Rosie saw that box in the window. I wanted to give her something I'd made with my own hands."

"I used to whittle as a boy, but I never imagined trying to make something so exquisite," Jasper admitted. It was one of the first truly benevolent comments he'd made all evening.

I was in awe of my big brother. Considering the size of his hands it was quite a feat he could produce something so tiny and detailed. The restraint he had to have shown to avoid reducing the wood to sawdust each time he touched it was amazing to think about.

"Why haven't I ever seen you carve anything?" asked Edward.

"Well, to tell you the truth, it's really boring to watch anyone carve a piece of wood. It takes forever, and I have a tendency to pulverize what I am working on when I don't concentrate hard enough. I've never really had the time or the solitude to make anything since Rosie's box. It was a lot easier to act like an idiot than to constantly be carving things for y'all. Plus, I knew how special it was to Rosie that she was the only one I had made something for."

If it were ever in question, Emmett's response to Edward's question proved to me that he would always put those he loved before himself. I could tell he enjoyed working with his hands more than he let on, and that he wished he could use his talent more often. I had a feeling since Rosalie had shown us the box, she was trying to tell us that she was fine sharing this part of Emmett now and would not begrudge me the request I was about to make. But first, I had to let Emmett know he was well and truly forgiven.

"Edward?" I asked, knowing full well everyone in the room could hear me. "Would you mind if I asked Emmett if he could manipulate something a little smaller with those talented fingers of his?"

As expected, Edward looked utterly bewildered and a little repulsed by my request.

"Bella, love? What exactly are you referring to? Surely you don't want my brother to, ehm, explain his, um, more private talents."

He looked so flustered it took everything I had in me to maintain my innocent expression.

"Edward, I just wanted to know if he could make a bear for my charm bracelet. Honestly, get your mind out of the gutter." I was attempting to conceal my amusement, but Emmett must have caught a hint of it anyway.

"Boo yeah!" he boomed. "You just got owned Eddie my boy. Private talents?" he laughed, clutching his sides as his amusement overtook him, no doubt amplified by Jasper's talents. "I didn't know you had it in you, Bells. That was classic."

He reached over, holding up his hand, indicating he wanted a high-five, which I was only too willing to give him. We shared a grin and then I settled back down into Edward; he, now understanding I had set him up for the benefit of his brother, gave me a look of disapproval that was weakened by the amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Could you make me a bear, Em? Please?" I persisted.

"Yeah, Bells, " he responded still laughing. "I'll make you a charm. We've gotta show Eddie what real men can do with their hands after all."

It took a few moments for the laughter to die down– the mood in the room vastly improved over what it had been for the past hour. This was the Cullen family I knew and loved. Carlisle, Rosalie, Alice and Emmett all looked lighter, having shared their insecurities and received the reassurance of their family. I did not expect Esme or Edward to cause anything close to the level of distress previous Cullens had, but Jasper had been more than a little combative tonight, indicating to me that he was hiding as much if not more than Rosalie.

I was worried that he would loose control of his generally cool demeanor, and with that the control of his talent. I was troubled that his emotions would spiral out, affecting the rest of the family, preventing the now comfortable atmosphere from continuing. He would go on the defensive, likely provoking Edward, Emmett and Rosalie, if she could regain more of her usual fire. Alice would come to his defense and likely so would I. Jasper, I had decided, had been waging an internal battle since the night of my birthday last year, and he would need all the help he could get to make his family listen to his concerns and take them seriously.

It struck me then that I was going to spend most of tonight defending two vampires who had spent the last year trying to demonstrate to the rest of their family that I was a dangerous addition from those members of their family who fought most for my continued presence. The world had truly been turned on its head. I sank a little further into Edward's embrace, nearly spent from the events of today. I wanted nothing more than to crawl upstairs and fall asleep in the plush wonderland that was Edward's bed, but I had started this whole mess and I was determined to see it through. My courage had yet to falter, but I wasn't sure there was enough left to get me through the rest of the evening.

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**A/N: So there you have it folks, the first installment of the Cullens dealing with their insecurities and issues. I didn't want to leave you on a sour note so I added the little bit of comedy at the end with Emmett. I hope you all enjoyed it.**

**As always, thank you ever so much for reading and please take the time to review. I truly appreciate every person who takes the time to let me know what they think of this fic.  
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	11. Shocking Revelations

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: ****There will be some minor swearing in this chapter as well. Again, I apologize to anyone who finds the usage offensive. **

**I am absolutely floored by the response this fic has received. I never expected to take it this far and I am honored you have taken the journey with me. Thank you to those of you who have been here from the start and thank you to those of you who stumbled across this fic and joined later. You all do me a great honor by spending time reading what I manage to come up with.**

**Please take the time to review at the end. It encourages me to write after reading what you all have thought of my fic. I hope this chapter will give you some of the answers you've been looking for. There is a twist at the end I am wondering if any of you suspected. There will be hints in the chapter. ^_^**

**Thanks for reading! ^_^  


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_**APOV- Monday June 25  
**_

It appeared as though Rosalie had forgiven me, but I knew our relationship had been seriously battered by my actions. I couldn't come to terms with my remorse yet, but seeing the vision of the three of us shopping went a long way in soothing my worries.

I couldn't believe how cruel I had been to both her and Bella. I could freely admit my insecurities now, but looking back on my actions from the last three days, I noticed I was acting strangely out of character. I figured it was just the stress of my newly discovered past and own insecurities finally overwhelming me. I would have worried more over my eccentric behavior if it had not produced so many unexpected, but necessary, results. I had spent too many years jealous of Rosalie for the two of us to continue avoiding our issues with each other. I only wished the confrontation had been less hurtful. It pained me to see my sister in such distress, even when I had still been angry with her.

I had never seen Rosalie so broken, nor imagined she felt such agony every day. She always seemed to be sure of herself and her role; it baffled me that in all our years as a family she had never voiced the true reason for her discontent before now. Rosalie complaining came as no surprise, seeing as she was the most confrontational member of the family. Rosalie breaking down and succumbing to the same fugue which haunted Bella for months, however, caused me to wonder just how much we Cullens had been hiding from each other.

I had been missing Carlisle's presence for years, but I never felt it was my place to ask him to remain home, believing that his humanitarian efforts were more worthy of his time than my need for him. I never imagined he felt he had to prove himself to the rest of us. I could not imagine a finer father or leader for our family. He was fair, compassionate, and always holding our best interests in the highest regard. I understood now that perhaps we had all put too much pressure on him over the years, relentlessly commending his control and abilities. We had placed Carlisle upon a pedestal, and while he had yet to fall off, the strain of living up to our lofty expectations had certainly taken a toll on him. I had never seen my father look so exhausted, not even during the incident with James. I hoped now he understood we would all love him unconditionally no matter what because he had brought us together.

He was right though: because we had all devoted our time and effort into perfecting our illusion for the benefit of human society, we had forgotten ourselves. I could not remember the last time I had seen Carlisle or Esme act their apparent age. Poor Esme was only 26, but needed to behave as though she were much older so that our deception would fool the humans. Carlisle, more so that his wife, had to maintain his calm, level-headed persona at every waking moment, for the benefit of the humans, and for the sake of keeping our family together. He was always the voice of reason during heated discussions and a compassionate listener to all of our woes. At no point during his day was there time for him to act 23 years old.

For those of us acting the part of adopted children, the problem existed in reverse. Because we were expected to act like immature teenagers, we had all forgotten even the youngest of us were nearly a century old. Constantly surrounded by adolescent behavior, we had all begun to forget we should be acting more mature when not in the presence of humans. Of course, since we were all changed during our late teen and early adult years, regardless of the passage of time, there was only a certain level of maturity we could achieve. Edward was a prime example. He probably exuded the most maturity out of the five of us, but the developmental shortcomings of Carlisle having changed him at the tender age of 17 were readily apparent. Granted, I was not much better, having displayed my own childishness on more than one occasion.

Having been the catalyst of our reconsideration of each other, Bella was undoubtedly the most mature of the younger set, spending less than two decades on Earth, but with an understanding that rivaled even Carlisle. I still could not believe she had deconstructed each of us so thoroughly. Where we saw perfection, Bella detected an Achilles' heel and with brutal honesty, she had shot her arrow directly into our faults to force our hand.

I took a moment to examine her form and was not pleased with what I saw. She looked haggard and anxious. Her eyes were bloodshot, no doubt from the amount of crying we had caused this evening, and cloudy with pain. Her brows were furrowed with worry and her mouth was contorted into a grimace. She twirled a lock of her hair restlessly, but with such fatigue it made me wince to watch. We had put poor Bella through a wringer tonight and I had a feeling it was only going to get worse. She rested wearily against Edward, as though she could not support her own frame. The pallor of her skin belied her continued illness. Rosalie's tender care had been for naught. Bella's weakened immune system required her rest, but we had not only upset her to the point of tears several times, we had also caused her to speak for extended periods, aggravating her already abused throat. The day was catching up with Bella and the illness she had been nearly over was returning full force.

My suspicions of Bella's deteriorating health were only confirmed when a vision of her curled on the couch looking miserable flashed before my eyes. Another passed, showing Bella begrudgingly taking medicine while scowling at Rosalie and Edward. Bella, it seemed, was in for a long week. It frustrated me that there was nothing I could do to prevent this future for her. Bella, who would have been well tomorrow if we had not subjected her to tonight, was now going to be ill for the rest of the week. I did manage to smile a little as I had one final vision: Bella was curled up in Emmett's lap, watching Edward and Rosalie play a piano duet, while Esme combed her hair.

I still could not believe Emmett's woodworking skills. It seemed inconceivable to me that a vampire so huge and powerful could create something so tiny and delicate. He seemed so bashful when Rosalie had shown us the result of his talents, an emotion I never would have associated with Emmett. He was always larger than life, right in the thick of things. It was unusual for him to be reluctant about anything. Edward had told me once about the first few years Emmett and Rosalie were with the family. Emmett, he explained, was more reserved then, always trying to protect Rosalie, win her affections, and assure her of his. By the time Jasper and I had become Cullens, Emmett and Rosalie's relationship was cemented in stone, and he had become the jolly vampiric giant I knew and loved. It never occurred to me he acted the fool for our benefit; I just assumed it was part of his personality to be a jokester all the time. I wouldn't mind seeing the more sedate side of Emmett so long as the prankster remained as well. Emmett just wouldn't be Emmett without his constant ribbing and humor at the expense of those around him.

It seemed as though we had reached an impasse in the family discussion. Carlisle and Emmett had willingly participated, while Rosalie and I had been goaded by the others to share our thoughts. With only Edward, Esme and Jasper remaining, I wondered who would take the plunge first. I waited for a vision to come, indicating to me someone's decision on the matter, but I was surprised to see it would be Rosalie who would be the next to speak. I tensed, waiting for whatever it was she felt she needed to share.

* * *

_**RPOV**_

Bella's trick on Edward had leavened the mood considerably, but there was still a permeating feeling of wariness that settled over the room. I could read the reluctance in the faces of the three remaining members of the family. Esme looked uncomfortable, Edward, resigned, and Jasper looked like he was contemplating his escape. Since none of them were going to volunteer to go next, I decided to make the decision for them.

"Esme," I address my mother, figuring she would have the least confrontational information to share, "Why don't you continue?"

"I…," she began, at a loss for words. Then she squared her shoulders and smiled disarmingly, "Thank you darling, but I don't really have anything to add. I am just so pleased we are discussing this as a family."

It looked as though we were all prepared to move on to either Edward or Jasper when Bella spoke sharply.

"Esme," her voice critical and her dissatisfaction apparent, "I must say I am disappointed. Here you have the opportunity to share your own fears and you are going to hide behind your family. Though, I don't suppose I should have expected anything more from you. Everything is rosy in the world of Esme so long as she has her family, never mind that it's crumbling around her and she can't even be honest with herself."

The look on Bella's face did not match her tone. She looked slightly uncomfortable to be speaking to Esme in such a tone, but determined to continue on.

"Bella," Edward reprimanded, "How can you say such a thing?"

"Yes, Bella," added Carlisle, "I must insist you do not speak to your mother in such a fashion."

Bella's response shocked me to the core. It was like she had been taking lessons from Alice.

"She is not my mother."

A collective gasp could be heard, and a tense silence settled as everyone watched Esme and Bella stare at each other, both in obvious pain.

"Bella, I…I…" Esme stuttered, trying to come to terms with this latest rejection, "You don't mean that. Tell me you don't mean that."

"No. You are not my mother." Bella began and I was horrified to watch the weariness evident in her posture weight her down further, "You left me, and if you were really my mother, you never would have."

"You left me," she continued, "because you never really considered me one of your own. You wanted to, but we never spent enough time together for you to become attached to me for my sake, and not just because I made Edward happy. I was your daughter because I was his, not because I was yours. When forced to choose, you chose him. You are not my mother."

Esme looked utterly shattered, the telltale signs of sobs beginning to shake her body. Bella brought her up short, when she resumed.

"You will be my mother though, and my friend when the time comes. Our relationship will grow and I will be part of your family, because you are starting to love me because of who I am, and not because I am your son's mate. But first, I need to love you for who you are, and not for what they see you as. You are more than you appear to be, and it's time you started to act like yourself. What happened to that rambunctious girl from Columbus? Where did she go?"

"Charles destroyed her," Esme whispered.

"That's not true," argued Bella, "You are just afraid they wont love you, or see you as their mother if you are who you are supposed to be."

"Esme, my darling. We all love you and that will never change. I implore you not to hide yourself in fear. Let them see why I fell in love with you the moment I saw you all those years ago," Carlisle beseeched.

Esme still looked reluctant, so I decided to help her along.

"Mother, do you remember my first few months as a vampire?" I questioned rhetorically, but she nodded anyway.

"Well, then," I continued, "You remember how you would sit me down, brush my hair, and tell me stories when I would lash out. You told me all about how you met Carlisle, and how crazy you were at sixteen, climbing trees like you were a young boy instead of a young lady. You always sounded so wistful, like you missed being that impetuous. I don't think you really believe Charles really destroyed who you used to be. I think you have forgotten what it feels like to be impulsive and you are afraid to try, fearing we wont see you as our mother anymore."

"Geez, Mom. You get on to me all the time for, as you like to say, "getting into mischief," when you practically wrote the book yourself," Emmett teased gently, causing Esme to smile.

"I got into more than just mischief, young man. My exploits were legend in Columbus and you would have been hard pressed to keep up with me," she crowed proudly.

I could hear Edward chuckle as he no doubt got a mental recap of some of Esme's finer moments.

"I wouldn't mind being on the receiving end of some of your more mischievous endeavors, dear," smirked Carlisle.

"Eww, Dad," groaned Alice, "Stop deciding what you and Mom are going to do later."

I snuck a peak at Edward, when he too groaned, no doubt as flustered by Alice's visions as she was.

"See, Esme," Bella pointed out, "There won't be any issues with you being who you are and being what you want to be. You can be a mother and be Esme, the real Esme, at the same time. Are you ready to face the rest of your fears now?"

I watched as Esme's eyes reveled her joy over our acceptance, but also the wariness caused by her reluctance to share what else bothered her. She seemed to take Bella's warning seriously though, because she ploughed through, as though hoping by exposing her greatest fears, she would earn the love of her newest daughter.

"I have already apologized to Rosalie, but I feel I owe you the same, Bella dear. I could have tried harder to convince Edward to stay, and I could sit here and make up excuses, but you were right; in the end in came down to choosing between the two of you and I did pick Edward. I did not pick him, however, because I loved you any less. I owed it to you to protect you, even from my own family and I failed you."

"No, Esme," Bella interrupted, "You owed me nothing, but you should have fought harder because you knew, deep down, you had to know, he was wrong. But, regardless of who agreed and who didn't, who fought and who submitted, that horrendous chapter of my life has ended. I'm sorry for interrupting. Right now, we aren't talking about me. You need to continue."

"I am sorry, Bella, for deserting you when you needed me most. I am sorry I sacrificed both you and Rosalie for the sake of preserving the family. I am, however, most remorseful, because I knew at least on some level what I was doing was wrong, but I was too selfish to relinquish what I wanted even when it was harmful to others. I know you all think my gift is heightened compassion, but I cannot see how that could be true when I have so willingly allowed the suffering of others for the preservation of my own happiness. My altruism is truly limited and not something to be praised."

"Darling," Carlisle admonished, "Did you not just tell me I cannot be expected to be perfect? Surely, you realize the same applies to you. We appreciate your selflessness, and while you may not believe it now, you are more altruistic than any of us. It is you who bakes cookies for the children at the hospital, you who donates our food and clothing to the local shelters, and you who sees through the contributions we make to various charities."

"You make sure every house is beautiful, and all our rooms are perfect," added in Alice with a smile.

Esme did not seem to brighten with this praise. Instead, her gaze grew more troubled.

"It does not always seem…" she began, and then stopped suddenly.

"Esme?" Edward questioned, no doubt tipped off as to the rest of her statement by her thoughts. "Esme, they need to know."

"It does not always seem," she started again, choosing her words carefully, "as though you appreciate the efforts I put into each new home, especially when you are all so cavalier when things are broken and the house is wrecked."

"But, Mom, it's not like we can't afford to fix them," Emmett stated, obviously confused as to the source of Esme's displeasure.

"That is not the point," snarled Esme, with an unusual burst of irritation, "The point, Emmett, is that it takes months of planning and effort to put together the spaces we share, and it shows a lack of appreciation and a lack of respect for my exertion when you so easily dismiss your actions just because we can afford to replace whatever was broken. It irks me to no end to see the product of my hard work reduced to rubble just because you all feel the need to compete."

I hung my head sheepishly when she finished, having no idea the near constant destruction of the house bothered Esme so greatly. We all mumbled apologies, humbled by our vampire mother.

"No, darlings. Don't look so sad. I know you do not do these things to hurt me, but please, in the future, try a little harder to leave the house intact," she comforted us.

"Esme," Bella sighed, "You are still glossing over the deepest issue. I know it and you know it. You can't just ignore it. You have to tell them."

"Bella, dear. I don't know what you are talking about," Esme easily deflected.

"Esme, please," Bella's voice quivered and I was shocked to see her close to tears again. "Please, tell them," she begged.

"Oh, darling, no, don't cry," Esme pleaded, but it was too late. Bella had tears once again streaming down her face. "Shh, sweetheart. Shhh. It's alright."

I did not understand why Bella was crying. There was no reason for her to be this upset, even if Esme were still hiding something from the rest of us. I watched her carefully, trying to see if I could discern the source of her anguish and nearly kicked myself when I figured out the problem. Bella wasn't sobbing, which should have been my first clue that she was not upset. Each time she swallowed, I saw her wince in pain. She's been talking too much, and instead of providing her with something soothing for her throat, we just allowed her to suffer until she could no longer do so in silence.

"Esme," I began to explain, "She isn't upset with you. She is in too much pain from speaking when she should have been resting."

"Jasper!" Carlisle exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell us Bella was in such pain?"

Jasper looked decidedly uncomfortable as the focus of the family turned to him, but before any of us could question him further, Bella's pained voice sounded again.

"Don't blame Jasper," she managed to get out between winces. "I have a high threshold for pain…he wouldn't have been able to tell."

Everyone except for Edward and myself seemed to be convinced by Bella's lie. If her threshold were high, she would not be crying. Jasper had been keeping her pain from us and I couldn't for the life of me understand why.

"Carlisle, isn't there anything you can do to make her more comfortable?" asked my darling husband.

Esme answered before he had a chance.

"I'll make her some tea with honey and lemon. That should help."

"Not…until you…tell them what…you…are afraid…of," rasped Bella.

"Bella," Esme began to chide, but Bella's fierce look stopped her and she hung in head, resigned.

Esme took a deep breath before her greatest fear tumbled forth, stunning us all into silence, except for Bella who looked on with gentle concern.

"I'm afraid because I am weak that I wont be able to protect you if the time should come. I will have to stand back and watch as you get hurt trying to protect me and I can't stand that. I was lucky that we had allies in the werewolves against Victoria and the newborns, but if we were ever outnumbered, we would be at an even greater disadvantage because you would all be worried about trying to protect me. I am the weak link and there is nothing I can do about it. I am not tenacious like Rosalie, calculating like Jasper, stalwart like Emmett, cunning like Alice or ingenious like Edward. Even Carlisle, who wont resort to violence, can usually negotiate out of any danger. I couldn't even protect Bella from James," she ended sadly.

Bella whispered her reply, trying to spare her already overused vocal cords.

"You protected Charlie from Victoria. And you did protect me from James, that night at the baseball field. You stood between us and I knew you would protect me. I never even questioned it."

Esme contemplated what Bella said and almost looked convinced, but then her expression fell again.

"I can protect my human family, but I can't protect my vampire family."

"Mother, if one of us was really in danger, I don't doubt that you would be as tenacious as any of the rest of us. I know you could protect us if we needed it. You'd find the strength," I reassured her. The rest of my siblings followed suit.

"Let us hope," concluded Carlisle, "We never find ourselves in another situation where such actions will be necessary."

Esme too now looked exhausted, but somehow encouraged. "Bella, would it be alright if I made your tea now?"

Bella nodded wearily, looking as though she might pass out at any second.

Minutes later Esme pressed a steaming mug of tea into her frail hands and Bella took a sip of the soothing liquid. Her smile was immediate as the relief reached her abused throat. A few more sips and she looked better than she had since her return with Alice. She regained a little color and her eyes looked a little more alert.

I could have hit myself as the cause of Bella's severe fatigue hit me. We hadn't fed her, and Bella would not have stopped this discussion for something she deemed as trivial as her own nutrition. She'd barely eaten anything in days, and what little she'd kept down hadn't been very nutritious. I took a moment to contemplate what she could easily swallow and would provide as least some nutrition. I decided on plain chicken broth, and was about to go to the kitchen to retrieve it when Alice danced up from the table. Everyone looked at her with questioning eyes, but soon enough just shrugged their shoulders, used to her antics by now. She returned within a few minutes placing a bowl of steaming broth in front of Bella, who looked surprised by the gesture.

"Honestly Bella," Alice chided, "It's a good thing Rosalie remembered to feed you. If we left it up to you, you would have fainted within the half hour."

Bella looking properly chastised, slurped her soup, avoiding eye contact with Edward, who was scowling at her slightly, irritated either because she was not taking better care of herself or he had neglected to remember to provide her with nourishment. The soup and tea warmed her quickly and soon enough Bella had regained most of her normal, healthy rose complexion.

"Edward," Alice spoke again, looking a little uneasy, "You should go next. Jasper needs to go last."

Knowing there was another conversation occurring in their heads, I didn't bother to look at Edward. He would know whatever was making Alice apprehensive and unless it was earth shattering, he would follow her request.

"I don't really know where to begin," he admitted.

"How about you apologize for years of snooping into our private thoughts?" I goaded, knowing he would need to be riled up for his part of this family therapy session to be worthwhile.

I was not disappointed when he turned his glare to me. I was fine taking perverse pleasure watching my brother squirm, finally having to answer for all his idiotic actions over the years. Apparently, all the warm fuzzy feelings we'd been sharing had fallen by the wayside and Edward the prick had returned. That was fine, because Rosalie, the battle-axe, was finally ready for round two.

* * *

_**BPOV- Monday June 25  
**_

I thought my throat was going to start bleeding again when I confronted Esme, causing me to cry for what seemed to be the hundredth time tonight. I did not want to ruin this much-needed discussion with the presence of my blood, especially since Jasper had yet to speak, and if I bled, he would never have the chance. The tea and broth did wonders for my throat and my stomach, which I had been steadfastly ignoring. I knew Edward was unhappy that I had avoided the persistent pain of hunger, but this was more important than my stupid human need to eat.

I was interested to see how Edward would react to Rosalie's jibe, and he did not fail to growl at her when provoked. It was such a normal reaction for them it actually comforted me. It was nice to see that even though they had made their peace with each other, they were still siblings, and were not above harassing one another. I leaned back into Edward, knowing he would take comfort from my presence. I knew he needed to do this, but that did not mean he needed to do it alone.

"I do not snoop, Rosalie," he barked, "I did not ask to be a mind reader and you have no idea how much I would love to enjoy silence in my brain on occasion. It tormented me for years to hear all of your private thoughts, unable to escape them or help you. Can you imagine what it was like for me, hearing the musings of six lovers, when I had no one of my own? "

"Edward," soothed Alice, "We know you suffer from your gift." Then she smirked, "But can you honestly say you've never used your gift for less than honest purposes?"

Now it was Edward's turn to look sheepish. He could no more deny he had been unscrupulous with his gift than he could deny his love for me. Even I knew he used his gift to get his way when he wanted to, exploiting others weaknesses or using their thoughts against them.

"Fair enough Alice. I admit I am not always totally honorable in the use of my gift, but neither are you."

"Edward, I've already had my heart-to-heart with the family. You aren't getting out of this. I'll see if you try anything," she winked.

He growled low, and I elbowed him out of reflex, immediately regretting the action. I would have a bruise there tomorrow.

"Bella, love, please don't hurt your self," he begged.

I decided my throat was well enough to speak one word.

"Talk," I commanded and when Edward made to protest I glared at him until I saw the resignation in his eyes.

"You all know you use my gift against me as well. You have thought specific things just to torment me, irritate me, or otherwise abuse me. It frustrates me that you would use something I can't control against me, but I understand that it is retaliation for the invasion of your privacy. Just know, I try to give you the level of discretion you want when I can do so."

"I saw all of you come into this family and it wouldn't be the same if any of you were to leave. I saw Esme and Rosalie find love. Emmett became the protector he was always meant to be. Jasper and Alice found a family. Carlisle had me for a companion, but I always knew he needed more. I saw and heard how you all completed each other and while I was happy for you, it just through into sharp relief what I was missing. I tried to play it off as though I was happy alone, but I desperately needed more. I had actually planned on going off on my own again once we left Forks, but then I found Bella."

I was surprised by his admission that he had thought of leaving his family. It was the first time he'd spoken of it to me and apparently to them; they looked shocked as well.

"It is so easy for me to interpret what I want from your thoughts and so very easy for me to forget that you can all make me hear what you want to. Rose, you've spent years keeping me out because I thought I knew everything I needed to know about you. You let me continue to misjudge you because it was easier than the two of us having to have it out. I had taken for granted actually talking to you and spending time with you because I could hear what you were thinking. I should have looked harder all those times you slipped and I heard something I wasn't supposed to. I am sorry I allowed you to suffer when I should have been the most understanding."

"It's okay, Edward," commented Rosalie. They shared a brief smile. Apparently the familial love between them was once again rekindled. They would fight for all eternity, but at the end of the day, they were brother and sister and they would always love each other.

"Well you were a melodramatic pain before we moved to Forks, but Bella has sure settled you down," Emmett added.

"Of course she has, Emmett. He loves her." Esme chided.

"It's more than that," stated Carlisle, "Edward can finally be alone with his thoughts in the presence of another."

I felt Edward nod and then press a kiss on the top of my head. I blushed, but smiled with pleasure. It was nice to know I could give Edward something no one else could. It made the gap between us a bit smaller.

"Edward dear, do you have anything else?" questioned Esme.

"No, mom."

Alice spoke up then, "I have a bone to pick with you."

"I have several matters I wish to discuss with you as well, Alice, but now is neither the time nor the place," he replied.

I made a noise of protest, but Edward quietly shushed me.

"No, Bella. We aren't hiding anything. Alice and I really do need to speak with each other privately. What we have to discuss is not a matter that involves the entire family."

I still felt a little disgruntled that they seemed to be falling into old habits, but I trusted Edward and Alice to make the right decisions. They knew how important it was to keep the lines of communication open now.

"Well," interjected Emmett, "I suppose that just leaves Jazz. We're coming to the end of this little tête-à-tête."

"Emmett, I had no idea you knew that phrase, let alone how to use it in conversation," admitted Alice.

I wanted to point out that he had misused the phrase, but that seemed trivial at the moment. In fact, everything, except for Edward, suddenly seemed inconsequential. I gazed into his golden eyes, so full of love and devotion, his smile matching my own. Love seemed to radiate throughout the room. I managed to tear my eyes away from my beloved long enough to glance around. Emmett and Rosalie we locked in an intimate embrace. I looked away quickly, not wanting to intrude. Esme and Carlisle were looking lovingly into one another's eyes, and he stroked his hand up and down her arm. I smiled at the gesture. Alice was curled up against Jasper, his head resting on top of hers. She looked as though she were in pure bliss. I was about to turn back to my own beloved, who was now peppering my neck with kisses when I became aware of two things simultaneously.

Edward was showering me with kisses in a manner he would be reluctant to do in the privacy of his bedroom or mine, let alone in front of his family. Jasper, unlike the rest of the family, did not look as though he was basking in the love of the room. He had told me he was an emotional sponge once; he should have been glowing from the amount of positive emotion filling the space, unless, he was the reason we were all feeling this way.

I felt the emotional haze lift from my mind and I stared at Jasper, who looked stunned that I had managed to break his talent. I could not believe he would use his gift to distract his family. I narrowed my eyes, and willed him to feel my disappointment and anger at his actions. Everyone else had participated and he had just tried to weasel his way out. I felt him try one last time to influence me, but I just pushed my emotions back at him that much stronger. I finally broke his resolve and then the family all came out of the love-fest stupor, still uncomprehending what had occurred.

I willed my voice to regain its previous intensity, not caring if I injured myself further.

"You will explain yourself this instant Jasper Whitlock!" I demanded, yelling loud enough with sufficient accusation to cause him to wince.

The rest of the Cullens, now understanding what had happened, turned their attention to Jasper. The uncomfortable look he had worn all weekend returned and he sighed before placing Alice back in her seat, resting his head on the table, unwilling to meet anyone's eyes.

* * *

_**RPOV- Monday June 25  
**_

What the hell just happened I wondered to my self. First I was wrapped in a steamy embrace with my Emmett. Nothing G-rated about it. I was trying to figure out what would be the polite way to ask my family to leave so I could tackle my husband. Just when I was about to forget they were even there, the powerful lust and overwhelming love faded and I sat in Emmett's lap feeling as confused as he looked. It wasn't unusual for our passion for each other to overwhelm us at any moment; that was just how we expressed our love. I chuckled as I thought about the awkward situations it had caused over the years. What baffled me was the quick cooling of the intensity of the ardor. I still felt passion for my beloved; I always did, but it never ended so abruptly before. I was lost in my confusion until I heard Bella yell at Jasper.

Suddenly, everything made sense. Jasper had been using his talent to distract all of us so we would just skip over his turn. He no doubt had several contingency plans for avoiding the discussion in the future. I was furious with him. We had all laid bare our insecurities. Why couldn't he do the same?

The next realization to hit me came with such a force that I actually slid from Emmett's grasp. Surely he wouldn't have. I refused to believe Jasper was capable of such a thing. I prayed I was wrong, but I had to ask him anyway.

"Jasper," I croaked, "Oh god, Jasper, please tell me you didn't. Please, you have to tell me you didn't."

I was begging and I didn't care. I refused to believe the man I considered my twin would ever do something so heinous. Edward must have caught onto my thoughts; I saw him swallow reflexively, as though to clear his throat.

"Jasper? Look at me and tell me you didn't do that. Not to her. You can't have done that to her."

If possible Jasper sunk his head deeper into his arms, all that was visible was a few tufts of unruly blond curls. I waited, not even breathing, for my brother to answer me. When he finally raised his head the pain I saw in his eyes stunned me. Jasper was in agony and that agony confirmed my worst fears. Before I had a chance to speak again, his eyes grew even more tortured and at first I couldn't understand why until I saw Alice still.

She remained motionless for a full minute. I stared at her, praying she wasn't seeing what I feared she was. When she came to, she shook her head from side to side as though that would dislodge the vision from her mind. The pain on her face matched his. She tried to speak, but her voice broke. She tried again, but a sob escaped. Jasper looked on, his expression revealing the continued growth of his anguish. Finally, Alice gathered herself sufficiently to speak.

"Jazz, why didn't you just tell me? Why did it have to be that way?" she sobbed through her question. Gone was the sparkling pixie and back was the distressed girl, eyes too wide, disbelief etched on her face.

Jasper didn't answer, and the small hope I had kept alive was crushed by his silence. He looked at me, his haunted eyes confirming once and for all what I just uncovered.

Bella broke the silence, obviously distressed by the scene unfolding before her, able to gain control over her voice before the others.

"What happened? What did Alice see? Tell me, please tell me!" she begged.

She struggled from Edward's grasp and stumbled over to Alice's shaking form. She pulled my sister close, burying her head into her inky spiked hair.

"Alice," she cried, "Alice, please tell me. What's wrong? What did you see?"

Alice couldn't speak, not that she even tried. She just sat, a prisoner of her pain, held in the arms of the best friend she had viciously attacked this afternoon, watched by the sister she had condemned. Bella, already fatigued by the events of the day, seemed to deflate before my eyes. Her eyes were frantic, looking for an explanation from any source that was willing to give one. I shuddered, thinking about what I was about to reveal, wishing it were anyone else but me.

"Jasper," I started, choking because my throat had run dry, "Jasper, used his gift on Alice."

Bella, wild with fear, interrupted me.

"I know that. He used his talent on all of us. What did Alice see?"

"No, Bella. I didn't mean he used it on her a few minutes ago."

I could see the moment the truth dawned in her eyes. It was painful to watch the betrayal and disbelief flash across her face. Worse to watch the understanding settle in and the resignation that soon followed. The damage had been done, making my breakdown earlier seem as tame as my usual trivial diatribes.

"Would someone explain to me what the hell is going on?" boomed Emmett.

I cringed, before speaking once again.

"Jasper used his talent," I explained reluctantly, "on Alice after she had the vision of me and Bella shopping. He intensified the lingering suspicions she had, and then played on her underlying anger when they got home until she snapped. That was why Alice has been acting so out of character. It wasn't her; it was Jasper all this time."

Esme sucked in a shocked breath and the same time Carlisle moaned. Emmett sat stunned and Edward and I could only look at each other helpless to do anything. Jasper had begun to sob now, low keening wails interrupting every so often.

Bella continued to hold Alice, trying to comfort her distraught friend, but the anger radiating from her form frightened me. Bella had been a formidable force all night, but she never looked as truly terrifying as she did now. Suddenly, she let loose a torrent upon him and we all watched as the ill, frail human girl, tore our seasoned, war veteran of a brother to pieces.

Screaming, she berated him. "You will explain to me, in the most detail you can give, what the hell you were thinking, Jasper Whitlock. You will not manipulate anyone's emotions and you will be honest. How could you do this to her? How could you do this to Rosalie? How could you do this to your family? What did I ever do to you that made you think this was the solution?"

Her voice grew raspier with each word and the pain it caused her to speak was evident, but no one dared interrupt her or suggest she cease talking. I never imagined we would all be afraid of Bella, but that moment had come.

"M'sorry," he mumbled.

"To hell with that. I know you are sorry, Jasper. You've been sorry since you did it, but what I don't understand is why? Explain it to me, Jasper!" she screeched at him.

"I was going to be the only one," He continued to mumble.

"The only one to what?" she sneered.

"The only one who you thought didn't like you."

Her rage abated slightly with her confusion.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything, Jasper?"

"Rose," he continued to speak into his arms, "Rose accepted you and then it was going to look like I was the only one who didn't like you. And I do like you, well I want to, but I hate you at the same time."

Edward growled and I glared at Jasper, but Bella did not appear at all surprised by his admission. In fact, she took the reigns and continued to explain to the rest of us what it seemed she already knew. Nothing could have prepared me for the explanation spilling from her mouth, nor for the details added in by Jasper. Alice and I, it seemed, had been merely pawns in a much larger game. Bella and Jasper continued to play as the rest of us watched in morbid fascination.

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**A/N: So, we have the majority of the remaining confrontations taken care of. I wanted to leave this chapter here, so you all had a chance to mull over Jasper's actions before I delved into greater detail. I know this chapter is shorter than the last few I've written, but I wanted you all to have as much of the conflict as I could. I will try to get out another chapter next week, but we'll just have to see.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this. I hope this chapter provided some much needed answers and surprised you with a few twists. It was rather entertaining to write.**

**Please, take the time to review. As always, thank you for reading! ^_^**


	12. Uncovering the Truth

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: ****So, here is the much-anticipated moment where Jasper has to face the family. He warranted his own chapter because his issues were a just as complex as Rosalie's. I maintained RPOV though this chapter to streamline the content.**

**While it may seem like the conclusion of the fic when you reach the end, just remember, there will be one more chapter. The nature of this fic seems to demand that you see how each of the Cullens reacted in the end. I will, however, end with Rosalie to keep maintain coherency. It is only fitting that she who opens the story also provides the ultimate conclusion.**

**Thank you to all of you who have reviewed. I am overwhelmed by the response to this fic. **

**Please take the time to review if you haven't yet. I'd love to know what you think of this fic. I truly appreciate that you take the time to read it.**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter. **

**Happy reading! ^_^**

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**RPOV- Monday June 25  
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Bella moved over to stand by Jasper, her expression remaining stoic, even when he visibly flinched as she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"He has every reason to hate me," she began, continuing despite our noises of protest, "He does, whether or not you agree. What you all fail to see is that Jasper struggles constantly with his bloodlust and I took away his one refuge. You don't appreciate what an effort it is for him to sit here right now, with me touching him, and not react to my presence. He is fighting, winning, but fighting all the same, and you no longer appreciate his efforts. What is worse is that because you don't appreciate the effort, you cannot see how desperate he is to have the sanctuary I took from him. He never has a break anymore. I am always with you, or at the very least, my scent is with you. It is unfair for you to ask that of him, unfair of me to subject him to the torture. So, he has every right to hate me."

"But Bella, you aren't going anywhere. He has to get used to it," Emmett interjected.

"No, he doesn't have to. He chose to, but he was afraid you would think he wasn't trying hard enough now that Rosalie and I have made our peace with each other. You would push him before he was ready and it would end in disaster again. Forgive me, but I'd really like to avoid a repeat of last year." She shivered with that last statement, no doubt remembering the events leading up to and following our departure. She looked like she was going to faint from her latest daring act, but Alice caught her before she could tumble to the ground, clutching Bella to her own trembling frame as though she were a preserver.

"You have to explain it to them Jasper," she begged. "They don't understand. You have to make them understand."

Jasper finally raised his head, looking at her prone form, his misery reaching new heights. It was obvious to me that he would have rather thrown his own body into a fire than explain his actions. The soldier with in him, however, trained to uphold his duty, would no longer permit his silence and in a weary, grave voice Jasper began to explain all the small moments of insecurity that had led him to this ultimate betrayal of himself, his beloved, our family and the little sister he wanted to know. Alice looked on, still silent, her pain readily evident, but something in her eyes made me wonder whether or not the pain was for herself or for someone else.

"I've never been comfortable…" he began, his southern drawl more pronounced than usual, signaling his reluctance. "I was always hesitant, from the moment Alice told me of you and how we were going to be part of this family, that I wouldn't ever be able to commit fully, for more reasons than diet alone. I only agreed because Alice was so set on it, and I only stayed because y'all made her happier than I ever could alone. I couldn't take that away from her."

"And yet, you have no problem manipulating her emotions, causing her obvious pain?" Edward prodded.

Bella glared at him fiercely. "Hush, Edward. Just listen for once and stop interrupting your brother."

Her reaffirmation of our familial bonds struck me momentarily. It was as if she felt the need to remind us that Jasper was family, no matter his feelings or our own at the moment. Jasper looked a little stunned at her defense, but continued his explanation at a speed which had to seem painfully slow even to Bella.

"None of you have ever been part of a coven. You can't possibly appreciate what an oddity this family is. Covens don't work this way. There is a set hierarchy and it never changes. There is an undisputed leader and then there are subordinates. There is not family tree of parents and siblings and there is never the fluidity of roles that this family has. Punishments are dispensed for any and all transgressions. Rules are set and they are obeyed. There is no forgiveness; you either follow orders or you die. It worked the same way in my human life. I led a regiment, but the same rules of order and obedience were in place. I can function in order. I can follow rules, regardless of how I feel about them personally. I know how to survive in that environment."

"Decades, decades I spent, as both human and vampire surrounded by carnage, overwhelmed by the suffering around me. I was trained to kill, whether with a weapon or with my bare hands. I've seen horror I hope you never have to. I committed crimes that should have signed and sealed my own death warrant long ago. I can't tell you how many people, how many vampires, I have ruthlessly murdered, with little to no remorse for my actions. It was the reality of my life, and I never though to question it."

"But then I came to this family, and nothing worked how I expected it to. Carlisle, you should be the unquestioned leader and your word should be law, but it isn't. You make suggestions, not commands. Even our roles are not set. Sometimes Rosalie and I are twins; sometimes Edward and Alice are siblings. On occasion we aren't all formally adopted. Such variability does not exist elsewhere. Even the rules are not set. I should have been dismissed the first time I attacked a human, as should have Emmett. And yet, here we are, because this family does not operate like any other group I've ever been a part of. I can't understand it. I can't find my place, but Alice has found hers, and I wont take that away from her."

"My scars are nothing but a testament to how many people I've killed, a warning sign to those of our kind just how dangerous I am. I know you all felt the same way. I felt your wariness when I arrived at your door, your reluctance to allow me into this family, your desire to protect my own wife from me. I never questioned your reaction. It was warranted. I've never belonged here."

"Little by little, you accepted me, or at least convinced yourselves that you had. You came to rely on my skills of subterfuge, my prowess in battle and my knowledge of covens. But ever-present in your emotional make-up is a niggling doubt of me. Not that I can blame you. I just keep waiting for the day you all finally decide you've put up with enough. Enough moving because I can't seem to control my thirst, enough caution because I am not capable of handling the same environments as the rest of you, enough worry that I am going to snap and cause irreparable damage."

"I waited, and waited for you to dismiss me after I attacked Bella. I committed a grievous offense and I deserved to be severely punished. Yet, all of you, even Edward, harbored only a fleeting, if present, feeling of blame for me. The accumulation of what should have been considered unforgivable acts over the years has me constantly on edge. I know your patience is wearing thin and that sometime in the near future you are finally going to decide what little I have to offer does not outweigh the crisis I invariably cause. My skills can be reproduced, and the destruction I cause is unnecessary. I can see the whole family would be better off with my absence. The real question is, why can't all of you?"

Seeming to have finished at least the initial disclosure of his discontent, Jasper once again rested his head on his crossed arms, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Carlisle spoke first. "Jasper, son. How can you believe you are anything but vital to this family? Your knowledge and your skills have protected this family from the moment you became member. You have struggled to meet our expectations, yes, but you have also put forth your best effort and that is all we can ask. You did not choose your past. You were condemned to a world of violence through no fault of your own. I speak on behalf of everyone when I say, we do not condemn you for any lasting effect of your formative years. You speak of dismissal, as though we could send you away without a moment's care. You yourself already know why you will never be sent away."

Jasper finally turned his miserable visage to Carlisle, his eyes begging for the answer he obviously could not formulate for himself.

"This is not a coven, Jasper. This is a family, and as such, all members, no matter their actions, will always be welcome with open arms. We did not turn away Edward when he returned from his dark years; we did not send Emmett away when he slipped, nor will we refuse you when your past comes back to haunt you. You are irreplaceable, not because of your skills, not for your knowledge, but because you are Jasper."

I looked at my twin, finding my anger abating after hearing his explanation and Carlisle's reassurances. Jasper, it seemed, like Esme and myself, felt he was the weak link in the family, who could and would be replaced at the earliest convenience. Despite my sympathy for his beliefs, I could not help but maintain my irritation that his actions had brought forth the horrendous past few hours.

"Jasper, dear," Esme spoke next. "Now that you know we wont send you away, wont you please explain why Rosalie's acceptance of Bella has you so concerned?"

Jasper let out a sigh, full of weariness and disinclination.

"Alice shared her visions with me, so I knew how pivotal this weekend was for Bella and Rosalie's relationship. I was glad initially, seeing how happy it made Alice, and knowing how pleased the rest of you would be. Then it occurred to me I would be the odd man out. I would be the only one distancing myself from Bella and you would all notice. You would push me to be closer to her, so she wouldn't feel as thought she was rejected, but I'm not ready."

"You can't expand your limits until you test them, man," Emmett piped in.

Jasper whirled on him, his eyes now dark with anger and resentment.

"You must not be as fond of Bella as I'd thought," he sneered at Emmett.

My husband took offense at this intended slight, barking out his answer. "Of course I like Bells. Don't be an idiot, Jasper."

"If you want to continue to like her, present tense intended, then don't push me," he responded and then addressed us all. "If you keep pushing me, if you force me into more interaction than I am ready for, we are just going to have a repeat of last September. Maybe I could spend more time with Bella and none of us would be any worse for the wear. But then again, in an instant, everything could go wrong again. Why can't you understand she is as much of a danger to us as we are to her?"

Jasper, looking crazed as the torrent of pent up frustration and hidden emotions tore freely though him, spun to confront Bella.

"You," he accused, "have caused more upheaval in this family than the rest of us combined. In the span of basically one year, we have fought over Edward's interest in you, accepted you into this house, battled several vampires on your behalf, nearly lost our brother and my Alice to the Volutri and and had to fight against Victoria and her army of newborns just because you attract danger by breathing. Until you are changed, there will be no end to the peril you, and consequently, the rest of us face. I am not even sure as a vampire you will attract less danger, but at least then you might be useful in battle instead of a liability."

I was not about to sit there and allow him to place any of the blame upon Bella.

"Jasper," I reprimanded him with acid in my tone, "Don't drag her into this."

"It's fine, Rose," came Bella's soft reply. I turned to her, stunned. Why would she defend the person who was attacking her? Then again, this was Bella, master of never reacting in any predictable fashion except when it came to her abhorrence of shopping and gifts.

"What has he said that you haven't as well and that any of you could contest? I have caused more turmoil in the last year than the rest of you. I caused all those problems and Jasper is right, I will continue to be a liability to this family while I remain human."

She shifted her body to look toward Jasper before she continued speaking.

"Jasper, keep going, please?"

His previous fire was lost as he glanced at the girl who was destined to be his baby sister. The tenderness that replaced the irritation surprised me.

"Please don't misunderstand, Bella. I am thrilled you have made Edward so happy. I can feel what a difference you have made in this family. You've given Alice what she's always wanted, allowed Carlisle and Esme to act like real parents and proved to be a much needed younger sibling for Emmett and Rosalie. I want to like you. I want to get to know you. But, until you've been changed I just can't risk being that close to you. Until you are changed you will continue to be an invader in my one sanctuary, and not the little sister I wish you were. Please, don't hold what I am against me."

The conflict was evident on his face. Jasper truly wanted to bond with Bella. He must have felt the difference she had made in the rest of us and he wanted that for himself. But, I admitted to myself begrudgingly, he had a point. He was as limited by his past as I was. Until he no longer had to battle with the call of Bella's blood, they were mutually dangerous to each other and he would be unable to view her as anything but a trespasser.

"Well, while that explains some of your actions, I fail to see why you had to cause Alice such suffering. That behavior is inexcusable," snarled Edward.

I couldn't really blame him for being upset. After Bella, Alice was the first person in this family Edward would defend. Their gifts allowed them to form a strange bond, and their mutual affection only added to it. Alice was Edward's favorite sister. I found it strange how that fact didn't bother me now as much as it used to. I didn't have time to muse further because tiny Alice finally spoke for the first time since her vision.

"No, Edward," she whispered, "It isn't inexcusable. I forced him into this life. I never gave him a choice. I'm no better than Maria."

"Don't say that Alice!" barked Jasper, probably with more force than he intended since we all flinched at his tone and volume. He continued in a softer, but pained drawl. "Don't say that darlin'. You'll never be like Maria. You gave me love and you gave me hope. I would gladly walk to the end of the earth through fire for you. You showed me there is was more to life than the purgatory I existed in. You brought me here, and just because I can't seem to find the place I belong, doesn't mean I don't appreciate what you've given me. You found your family. You are happier than I've ever seen you, and that is enough for me. It always will be."

"They are your family too, Jasper, even when you don't see it, even when you can't feel it," Alice reminded him.

"Alice? How can you be so forgiving? How can you forget what he did to you?" Emmett wondered. He had obviously decided he was no longer mad at the pixie for her earlier actions.

"It would have happened anyway. Jasper just made it happen a little sooner. I was jealous and angry. He didn't do it to hurt me. And, really Emmett, can you honestly say we didn't need to sit down and hash this all out?"

"Well, ah, no," my beloved hedged.

"Alice," questioned Esme, "If Jasper had no intention of hurting you, why didn't he stop you or at least explain your behavior?"

Alice looked as though she were going to explain, obviously possessing this knowledge from her vision, but Jasper began speaking before she had a chance.

"Let me darlin'. You'll make it sound like I wasn't to blame, and I was. I manipulated Alice's emotions, thinking I could buy myself enough time to figure out some method of remaining unnoticed by the rest of you. I thought I could use the time to strategize and discover a method of bonding, or at least appearing to bond with Bella, that did not put either of us in danger. I felt Alice's slight jealousy and thought if she made a scene it would catch everyone off guard long enough for me to slip away."

"Well that obviously backfired," sneered my beloved. Like Edward, he was fiercely protective of Alice. Come to think of it, she was everyone's favorite sibling, even mine if I were honest with myself.

Jasper continued, after grimacing at Emmett's declaration. "I didn't expect her reaction to be so strong. I thought she might make some comment to Rosalie and then whisk Bella away upstairs. I figured Emmett would comfort Rosalie and no one would think anything of it. It's happened often enough without my interference. What I didn't expect was for Alice to give herself over to the emotions so fully."

"Surely, you're not blaming this whole fiasco on Alice?" I probed him spitefully. The little pixie may have been on my hit list earlier, but now that I knew the truth of the situation, I couldn't really hold my anger.

"No, Rosalie. I know Alice is not to blame. I was shocked by her violent outburst, and I almost stemmed the flow of her emotions, but, I was afraid to admit what I'd done. I knew as soon as I used my powers again she'd know, you'd all know, what I'd done. I was sure this would be the final act that you make you dismiss me from the family. It wouldn't be as though I didn't deserve it, but I couldn't ask that of Alice. She'd have to choose between me and all of you and while I know she'd be happier here, she'd want to go with me. I couldn't do that to her. So, I stayed quiet, hoping it would all blow over, and if it didn't I was going to slip away before I could cause any more problems."

"Why would you leave me Jazz?" moaned Alice.

It occurred to me than that Alice's reaction to her vision had nothing to do with Jasper tampering with her emotions. She never would have believed his intent was malicious and I doubt she was ever even mad at him. What upset Alice was Jasper's decision to leave without telling her. Obviously, he was still planning to commit to that course of action. I was not about to let anyone in this family suffer anymore. Bella may have started it, but I was going to end this once and for all.

"Jasper Whitlock," I began ominously, "I never thought I'd see the day I would have to call you a coward."

He bristled just as I expected, glaring at me as though wondering why I would kick him when he was already down.

"You can't honestly think," I continued, "What on earth would lead you to believe we'd ever let you go?"

Astonishment, instead of anger, now shown in his eyes.

"What are you going on about, Rosalie? You wouldn't be letting me do anything. If I want to leave then I will, and there is nothing you can do to stop me."

I smirked at his reply. "Jasper, if you'd been serious about leaving you'd have already done it. You haven't stayed this long just for Alice. You don't want to go. You can't leave and even if you could, we wouldn't let you."

"You'd be the first to boot my sorry hide out the door, Rose. Don't spin it any different," he growled at me, obviously mistaking the triumph I felt as victory.

"True enough Jasper. I might be the first one to kick you out, but I'd also be neck and neck with Alice to get you back."

The sincerity in my tone and in my emotions must have convinced him, but he still exuded puzzlement.

"But why, Rose? You've been wishing me gone since the day I arrived."

"Because whether you like it or not, you're part of my family and I wont let you go. I am a selfish creature at heart, and I wont allow you to ruin my family."

"But that's is my point, Rosalie. I am ruining your family," he spat.

"No, Jasper. The only way you could ruin the family would be to leave. Don't you see? Carlisle and Esme can't replace you as a son. Edward, Emmett, and Bella can't replace you as a brother. I know for a fact no one else could be my twin. And I'd like to see you try to convince Alice she could replace you as her soul mate. It doesn't work that way. You're stuck with us, so just stop fighting and embrace your place in this family."

"I don't know how to not fight. I don't know how to be in a family," he mumbled halfheartedly.

I felt like Bella now, having discovered the source of Jasper's problems. I was sure she probably already knew why he'd been acting so strange, but I felt a sense of accomplishment and pride being the one to help him work through it.

"Yes you do, Jasper. You know how not to fight and you know exactly where you fit in, but you are afraid. You're afraid that if you finally let go and allow yourself to believe you belong here with us, you'll loose that part of you that survived all those years of war and bloodshed. You're afraid not to struggle because that is what has defined you for so long. You are convinced you can't be yourself without fighting against something. You're afraid that the minute you start to relax and truly be a part of this family that something is going to wrench us all away from you. What you can't see is that we won't allow the family to be separated, you included. You may have the most advantage on the battlefield, but we can all fight to protect ourselves. You don't have to guard us. For once, just let us guard you. Jasper, don't you think you've earned the right to find contentment and security? Don't you think you deserve to stop fighting for once and just be?"

His stony visage indicated to me that I had hit the proverbial nail on the head. Jasper only remained stoic when you discovered something he didn't want you to know. I'd seen the expression often enough on his face when he let something slip mentally and Edward picked up on it.

"You can't stop me from protecting this family, Rosalie. Don't ask me to go against my very nature. I have to make up for…" he stopped suddenly, as though realizing he was about to share more than he was willing, his eyes wide.

"That's really the root of all of this nonsense, isn't it Jasper?" quietly prodded Bella.

He looked at her, beseeching her to cease speaking, with the shaking of his head. Bella continued on anyway. I was a little disgruntled that I hadn't found the core of his insecurity, but then again, I did uncover at least part of his fears.

"Rosalie is right," Bella stated and I felt my self smirk in pleasure, "Jasper is afraid of loosing himself and this family so he keeps fighting. But really, at the end of the day, he is still convinced he doesn't deserve to be here."

"You're sure," she addressed Jasper directly, "so very sure that your past tainted your soul so thoroughly that you don't deserve having a family such as this. You don't even think you deserve Alice."

"I know I don't deserve Alice," he drawled with conviction.

"How can you say that, Jasper?" demanded Alice, the fire in her voice signaling the return of the passionate pixie. "I was broken when you found me, in more ways than one, and you made me whole for the first time. You've done everything I've ever asked of you. You've loved me from the moment we met. You found our family. What ever deeds you may have done, you have more than made up for them and then some."

"It'll never be enough to wash my hand clean of all that blood, Alice. Nothing will ever be enough."

"Jasper, self-preservation is not something you have to make amends for. You either followed orders, or you were killed. It's as simple as that. You were never given a choice, so why do you feel like you have to make up for what others made you do?" Bella inquired gently.

Jasper gaped at her.

"But, I killed all those people. You can't just brush that away. I killed them."

"Did you ever enjoy it, Jasper? Did you ever take pleasure in killing anyone?"

"No, but…"

"No buts, Jasper," interrupted Edward, "I've seen your memories of your previous lives, and never once did you find any sort of gratification in killing people. I have. I killed murderers, rapists, and extortionists, reveling in playing god and ridding the world of their evil. I enjoyed killing them. You don't seem to believe I don't deserve to be in this family, so why can't you understand that you have just as much right to be here as I do?"

I was proud of Edward then, humbling himself to make his point, reaching out to Jasper by admitting to actions about which he was immeasurably shamefaced.

"Everyone in this family has pieces of their past that are less than savory, Jasper. What matters is that regardless of your past, you are here now, you are trying, and you belong here just as much as the rest of us," Esme explained, "I took my own life, and there is nothing more blameworthy than suicide. Do you think Carlisle should leave me?"

"No, of course not Esme!" Jasper cried.

"You deserve to be here more than anyone, Jasper," I told him. "You've had the most to overcome and you toil each day to meet our demands. You suffer in silence each time Bella comes over. You try desperately to adhere to a diet that is difficult for those of us who have never tasted human blood, and you are well on your way to overcoming that hurdle."

I walked over to him, pulling him up from his seat and wrapped my arms around his wiry frame. I hugged him tightly, and waited. Minutes passed and Jasper remained stiff in my hold, but I was not about to give up. Jasper was the silent pillar of this family, supporting us through actions and words, inspiring each of us to try harder because he bore cross heavier than our own. But even a man like Jasper needed support and I was going to be there to give it to him.

Slowly, I felt the tension flow from his body. His arms embraced me lightly before pulling me into a crushing hold as his sobs over took him once again. He buried his face in my hair and shuddered. I'd never seen Jasper cry until today, and I wondered if he ever had. Even when Alice was in Volterra he remained stony faced and solemn. Jasper clung to me as though I were his lifeline. I tried to help by focusing my feelings on my love and pride for my twin. He needed to feel how much he meant to me.

I couldn't condemn him for his actions now. I had spent years suffering in silence, subjecting my family to periods of hell just because I couldn't control my hurt any longer. Jasper had never had even a moment's release since he'd joined us and he had been under severe strain since Bella became a part of our everyday lives. Jasper, the stalwart soldier, had refused to buckle under the pressure. He'd been strong even when temptation nearly became his undoing and he suffered so that the rest of us could be happy. That Jasper could no longer exist because Jasper, the man, had finally reached his breaking point and needed someone to hold him for once. It seemed only fitting that I share this moment of humanity with my brother.

He held on until he managed to collect himself, his breathing still uneven, but the sobs non-existent. He placed a tender kiss on my forehead as a thank-you, and then went to collect Alice in his arms. She still looked a little shell shocked by the events of the day and no doubt needed someone to comfort her as she tried to make sense of what had happened.

Esme and Carlisle, I noted, watched with love and pride in their eyes. Edward held Bella who had finally succumbed to the exhaustion that had been creeping up on her for hours. I made my way back over to Emmett, who was only too glad to have me in his arms again.

I surveyed my family, which was bruised but whole. We had each laid bare our insecurities and finally found the reassurance and comfort we all desperately craved. Instead of vampires, I saw them all as people. Carlisle wasn't perfect. Gentle Esme could be angry and mischievous. Emmett needed to be more than a jokester. Edward wasn't always a prying know-it-all. Alice depended on the future because she feared the past. Jasper fought his own nature to try to earn a place in the family he felt he didn't deserve. Bella wasn't meek and would gladly incite an argument for the benefit of all involved. And I was so afraid to trust anyone that I isolated myself from the one thing I really wanted.

My family wasn't perfect. We had individual issues that caused problems for the group as a whole, but now that we were aware of the weak points, I hoped we would work together to strengthen them. The confrontation was messy and painful. We'd attacked each other viciously and condemned members we would usually defend. I found myself agreeing with Bella. It was a miracle we had survived this long as a family with all these doubts and insecurities festering just under the surface. But here we were, battered for weathering the storm, but not broken, hurting from the accusations, but healing.

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**A/N: It seemed appropriate to end this chapter at this point. As I mentioned earlier, there is one more chapter. **

**From your reviews, I have come to realize many of you have enjoyed this story because it gives you the side of the Cullens you never see in the book, the humanity behind the vampires. I am so glad that I have been able to provide that for you. Authors often lack the time to give each character the development he or she deserves and it was my pleasure to delve deeper into the Cullens and expose their flaws and insecurities. **

**Please take the time to review. It means a lot to me to read your responses to this fiction. I welcome praise and constructive criticism alike. **

**Thanks! ^_^**


	13. Find My Place: The Finale

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N Well, dear readers this is the conclusion of Find My Place. There are, however, several outtakes, so keep reading. Let me take a moment to explain the format of the chapter so you don't get lost. There is an overarching scene that takes place though out this chapter until the end. During the first eight short scenes, our vampire family will be remembering some of the events that happened over the week between the family discussion and the current day. I am sorry if the chronology gets confusing at any point. Just try to follow along. At the end of the fic, all eight characters will give their perspectives on what has happened, ending of course with Rosalie as is only proper.**

**I am so happy that so many of you have chosen to follow this story after you began it and I am thrilled by the following it has amassed.**

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**_RPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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Alice was driving like a maniac as usual. She, Bella and I were on our way to the shopping expedition she'd predicted last week during the familial meltdown. Port Angeles, according to my sister, would not be sufficient, so we were speeding toward Olympia.

I had opted to sit in the back, allowing Alice and Bella to chatter away as I mused over the events from the last week. I knew we'd all been mending broken relationships and extending good will we would have previously considered unnecessary. It still amazed me how much better the family was functioning now that all our problems and insecurities were out in the open. We were truly dealing with each other for the first time in decades. I smiled as I thought about Emmett, wondering what he was doing right now. The twinkle in his eyes when I left told me he had a surprise for someone.

_Flashback- Monday June 25_

I was so glad to see his usual demeanor returning. I hated being in the haze, but I hated it even more knowing how my Emmett suffered while I was there. He seemed to have gotten over the fear when the discussion resumed, but as soon as we'd returned to our room he took one look at me and collapsed at my feet, burying his face into my stomach.

I was at a loss as to what to do. I'd never seen my strong husband reduced to such a state. I had no idea what had caused his anguish until he spoke, his voice crumbling under the weight of his sobs.

"I almost lost you. You were gone."

"Em, shhh, no. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Shh."

My attempts at comfort did nothing to soothe him. He slowly tilted his face up to look at me.

"It was so horrible, Rosie. You're eyes. There was nothing. No spark. No life. I really thought you were gone."

I couldn't take it anymore and dropped to my knees, cradling my sobbing husband to my chest, resting my head atop his.

"Nothing will ever take me away from you if I have anything to do about it," I swore fiercely, feeling just as shaken by the prospect of existence without by beloved. "I promised you eternity a long time ago and I won't be breaking that promise."

"It might not be your choice, Rosie. Then what do I do? I can't survive without you. There isn't an Emmett without a Rosalie."

"There can't be a Rosalie without an Emmett either. No matter what, nothing will keep me from you. You know I am pigheaded to a fault and even if I have to fight every member of the Volturi, you can bet I'll be seeing you on the other side with a bonfire raging behind me that even Jasper would be proud of."

"I've never been so scared," my fearless husband admitted and I clutched him tighter in response.

"But, I've never been so happy as when I felt you grab my arm. Oh Rosie, if my heart could beat, I would have had a heart attack right there."

"Em, you promised me eternity too. What would I have done if you'd died?"

"Carlisle would have revived me…" he began and then slowed. "Rosalie, this is no time to joke."

He looked so irked by my poor attempt at humor, but I still couldn't help but smile.

"Emmett," I countered, "I wasn't really joking. We are two halves of one soul. There can't just be one. We have to be together. You promised me eternity and while you've been beyond amazing at keeping your promises to me all these years, I am going to be more than incensed if you break that one. I love you, now and always, and nothing will ever keep us apart."

"I love you too, Angel."

I continued to hold him, now needing to feel him more than ever. I needed his physical presence to sooth my wounds from the evening. Emmett was the constant in my life, above all else. We held on to each other, clinging for all we were worth for nearly an hour. By that point Emmett looked like a caged animal.

"Go take a run. You need to do something."

"Rosie, I don't want to leave you. What if something happens while I'm gone?"

I knew just how thoroughly the evening had shaken Emmett when he asked that question. He knew I could protect myself if necessary. He'd been on the receiving end of some of my more hazardous swats on more than one occasion. Normally, I would have been exasperated by his behavior, but I could not find it in me to be angry with him tonight.

"Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to Edward?"

"Yes," he reluctantly admitted. I gave him a lingering goodbye kiss before literally throwing him out the window.

"Bring me back some nice flowers!" I had yelled at his retreating form.

He'd returned less than twenty minutes later; I hadn't even had the chance to seek out Edward yet. He presented me with a small bouquet of wildflowers before grabbing his wood working tools and running back into the forest like the hounds of hell were after him.

_Present- Tuesday July 2_

The sound of Bella's soft snores called me back to the present and my eyes refocused on the scenery racing pact the Porsche. I grabbed my copy of _Gone With The Wind_ from my bag and began to skim through it, only stopping at my favorite parts, smirking a little as I imagined Jasper at Rhett Butler and Alice as Scarlet O'Hara. If anyone could make a dress from drapes it would be Alice. Then I pictured Esme and Carlisle and Edward and Bella in the same roles and almost snorted with laughter. The idea of Bella having to put on anything as complicated as that period's traditional garb just about sent me into a tizzy.

Emmett and I could have pulled it off. I may have grown up in New York, but I could have been a Southern belle if given the opportunity. Emmett, of course, was already a Southern gentleman. I smiled, knowing whatever he was up to was going to make at least one person very happy. Emmett delighted in giving the people he loved gifts. I wondered who would be on the receiving end this time.

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**EmPOV- Tuesday July 2  
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I had to wait for everyone to leave the house before I snuck out back and readied my surprise. I chuckled to myself as I remembered all the excuses I'd come up with to avoid suspicion and have enough time to finish my project.

_Flashback- Monday June 25_

As soon as we'd all gone our separate ways after the disaster that was last weekend, I took my angel upstairs and proceeded to sob for an hour when the thought of loosing her caught up with me again. She'd comforted me and promised nothing would keep me from her side.

When she had finally settled my nerves, I started to pace the room. Rosie suggested I go for a run and while I was whizzing through the forest I had a brilliant idea. I ran back to the house to get my woodworking tools. It took me hours, but I finally found the right tree, a huge walnut perfect for the project I'd had in mind. It took little effort to knock that sucker down, and thankfully, I was far enough from the house that no one heard me. I was still worried about my Rosie, but she promised me she was finally feeling better. I'd been reluctant to leave her, but she all but booted me out the door, somehow sensing that I needed to go do something. She always knew me better than I knew myself.

After setting down the tools I wouldn't need, I began to strip off the branches. I actually enjoyed working at the slower pace required by this skill; it allowed me to stop and think about what had happened tonight.

I hoped Bella was sleeping soundly. Poor girl had one hell of a weekend. Thinking of Bella reminded me of Alice. Sure, I'd been madder than a wet cat at her earlier, but I could see my tiny pixie of a sister didn't need any more emotional strain burdening her. I don't think I'd ever seen her look so miserable before. I hoped Jasper had gotten his act together and was comforting her.

As I continued to think, the beautiful grain of the walnut was revealed as I stripped the bark. This was a flawless specimen and I knew it would be perfect for what I had in mind. Channeling my inner Alice, I actually clapped my hands in delight and then laughed at myself for acting like a girl.

_Present- Tuesday July 2_

It took me several days, and admittedly a few more trees, before I could begin assembling my project. I'd never been one for using screws and nails to hold together projects made from wood. People had been building without them long before they became conventional, and I decided it would be more fitting if this piece were all natural.

Slowly, it began to take shape, finally standing tall. I'd had to move it closer to the house, so that when I was finished I wouldn't have to run with it through the woods. I'd have broken it if I hadn't moved it. As soon as I'd sent Rosie off with Alice and Bella for their shopping trip, I'd run out back and set up the surprise in the garden. I'd made something a little extra, but I could carry it into the house without any problems.

I grabbed my hammer and headed into the house. Immediately, I knew Esme and I were alone. Carlisle was at the hospital trying to rework his schedule and Edward and Jasper had gone hunting together. Both had smirked at me before they left: Edward, because he knew what I was planning and Jasper because he could sense my pride and excitement.

I found Esme in her study, staring out the window while aimlessly painting. She turned slowly, knowing full well I was in the room. The peaceful expression faded into exasperation when she spied the hammer in my left hand.

"What was broken this time, dear?" she all but sighed.

"It'd be easier if I could just show you," I motioned for her to follow me.

I stopped in the foyer, looking up at the mark on the wall I'd made before I'd gone upstairs to find her. I turned to her and handed her the hammer and a nail.

"There needs to be a nail there," I instructed her.

She looked at me with her eyebrow cocked for a moment before shrugging.

"Will you put me up on your shoulders? I don't want to go get the step ladder."

I grabbed her by the waist and sat her up on my right shoulder. She shrieked and laughed before hammering the nail into the wall.

"Are you going to tell me what this is for, or is there just going to be a nail in the wall for no reason?" she asked.

"Well, I thought you might want to hang this," I explained before hading her the smaller of my two projects.

I smiled when I heard her gasp.

"Oh darling. It's beautiful," she gushed as she hung the sign on the wall and traced her fingers over the letters and flowers I'd carved.

"Home is where your mom is," I stated matter-of-factly. "I thought it was pretty accurate."

I lowered her to the ground and tried not to laugh as she hugged me with more enthusiasm than usual.

"Thank you, darling," she mumbled into my chest.

"No problem mom, but you should come out to the garden with me."

Her eyebrow quirked. "Please tell me you haven't ruined the roses again. I just replanted them."

"Just come out and see."

Show followed me warily toward her garden, probably thinking about all the different ways I could have destroyed the flowers. Before she got outside, I covered her eyes with my hands and then led her to the middle of the garden. When I had her exactly where I wanted, I dropped my hands and watched as she looked around for any signs of damage.

"Emmett, what exactly am I supposed to be looking at?"

I turned her by her shoulder to face the opposite direction and watched as a huge grin spread across her face.

She looked at me, and once I'd nodded, she ran off, skipping like a schoolgirl toward the arbor I'd made for her to use as a trellis for her roses. She'd always wanted one, but had never had the time to make one because she was always fixing something one of us had broken.

"Emmett, it's gorgeous!" she squealed. I loved watching my adoptive mother marvel over the new addition to her garden. I'd carved swirls into the posts and then roses and all her other favorite flowers into the crossbeams. I'd had to re-work one of the beams three times because I kept turning part of it into sawdust from gripping too hard.

She ran back to me now, jumping at the last minute, locking her legs around my waist and her arms around my shoulders. She kissed each of my cheeks before leaning back to just smile at me. I grinned in return before slinging her around to my back. We looked like Edward and Bella. Esme was piggybacking, laughing all the way as I walked us around the garden and then back into the house. I carried her all the way back upstairs before plopping her back into the chair in her study. I kissed her on the cheek before I ran back outside to get to work on the bear for Bella's charm bracelet. I wanted to have it done by the time she and Rosie and Alice got back from shopping.

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**_APOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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Bella had fallen asleep half way to Olympia, obviously still worn out from last weekend. I shot a glance back to Rosalie who was staring out the window, lost in thought. Deciding to maintain the quiet atmosphere, I thought back to my conversation with Edward last week after the family feud.

He was right to tell Bella that what we had to discuss with each other was not a matter for the whole family to hear. I winced as I remembered the conversation.

_Flashback- Tuesday June 26_

Edward had driven Bella home after she'd spent the night. While he was gone, I avoided the pain I felt from the truth of Jasper's actions by fueling my anger at Edward. By the time he'd returned I'd worked myself into a fury. I didn't even wait for him to close the door to the Volvo before I pounced on his back and started smacking him over the head.

I hadn't had the chance to yell at him for his idiocy since our return from Italy and now was as good a time as any.

"You prick," I screeched, "Why would you have ever thought that was a good idea? You made me drag her halfway across the world, knowing full well the likelihood of all three of us dying was the most distinct possibility. For three days I had suffer with the knowledge that I was probably going to loose my favorite brother, my best friend and cause my husband untold agony when I died because you were too caught up in your own self absorbed world to care about anyone other than yourself!"

"Alice," he had sighed wearily, but I was too furious to stop.

"You could have at least had the decency to say goodbye to me, Edward," I choked out, surprised by the sob that escaped. My anger had once again faded in comparison to my hurt.

"Why is it everyone leaves me without even saying goodbye?" I had asked, more to myself than for his answer. My parents had left me at an insane asylum with out so much as a have a nice life. Edward had left me to go off and get himself killed. I thought Bella was leaving me for Rosalie and my Jasper would have tried to leave me if Bella hadn't made us sit down and deal with each other.

Tearless sobs once again coursed through my body and instead of beating Edward over the head, I was clutching myself to his shoulders, as though through that physical act, I could prevent him from ever leaving me again.

"Alice, don't cry," he soothed as he maneuvered me into the cradle of his arms. I always felt like a child when he and Emmett held me that way, but I had just buried my head into his collarbone, feeling like the younger sibling I pretended to be.

"Shh, it's alright. I'm not going to leave you," he tried again and the continued, "I really wish you'd never found out about your past, Alice. I am not fond of seeing you in so much pain."

"I just feel like I am always being abandoned," I admitted through my sobs.

He pulled me closer and began to murmur into my disheveled hair. Picking my fears straight from my thoughts, he assured me that he wouldn't let me feel abandoned ever again.

"You've really had a hard few months, haven't you Alice? First I took you away from your best friend; then you discovered the truth about your past, had to come save my sorry hide in Italy, nearly loosing yours in the process, only to be reunited with your best friend and then think she was being taken away again by your own sister and then to top it all off your idiot husband manipulated your emotions and then almost left you because he can't accept that he has a family now."

I had chuckled weakly in response, "It sounds so dreadful when you put it like that. Now do you see why I hate the present and the past, Edward? The future is generally far less appalling."

"Alice, don't try to find humor in this. You've been through hell, most of which was my doing. I'm sorry."

I was more than a little shocked by his apology, wondering why he wasn't berating me for what I'd said to Bella earlier.

Picking the thought from my mind, he'd responded: "I had every intention of calling you out on your behavior, until I found out the truth. It wasn't your fault, Alice."

"But I still said it," I argued, "And at the time I had really meant it."

"Alice," he replied, "You never meant it. You wanted her back just as much as I did. You only lashed out because you were afraid to loose her."

"I still feel so horrible for saying it," I'd admitted.

"Did she forgive you?" he'd asked. I nodded to acknowledge that she had.

"Then let it go, Alice." I shook my head in disagreement, but was too afraid to tell him I needed his forgiveness too. He was just as important to me as she was, and I'd been a terrible sister lately.

"Alice!" he barked in surprise. "Surely you realize I am still in your debt for everything you've done for me this past year. You were the one who supported my relationship with Bella. You gave her a best friend. You saved us all from my stupidity. How can you even entertain the idea that you have been anything less than a brilliant sibling? I owe you my life in more ways than one."

I clung to him tighter after his admission, but I still needed to hear the words. I begged him mentally when my voice continued to fail me.

"I forgive you, Alice," he whispered before kissing my forehead.

I found my voice again and looked him square in the eyes before saying, "Thank you, but if you leave me again, I swear, Edward, I will hunt you down and torment you for the rest of eternity."

"By all means, Alice, if I leave again, you can be the first one to kick my ass, right after Bella."

"Yeah," I agreed, laughing, "Bella should get dibs."

With that said, Edward threw me over his shoulder, like I was a hunting prize, laughing as I bounced while he walked. I entertained the idea of biting him, but I had a sudden vision of him choosing his retaliation and quickly decided against that idea. I had made peace with my favorite sibling and finally felt like everything was starting to mend.

_Present- Tuesday July 2_

I was brought out of my musings my Bella's soft snoring. She looked so peaceful, curled up in the seat, her head resting against the window. I chucked as her face scrunched up before she mumbled.

"No, Carlisle. I want the purple popsicle, not the green one."

"I can see why Edward finds watching her sleep so fascinating," I whispered to Rosalie.

"Yeah," she agreed, "But you have to admit, it's really creepy that he watches her, especially when she didn't even know it."

I laughed in return. Bella and her dreams were entertaining. There was no telling what was going on in her brain to make her scold Carlisle for bringing the wrong color popsicle. I found myself wondering how my adoptive father was faring while rearranging his schedule. I was delighted that he was going to be home more, but I knew after being on-call every hour of every day for most of the past century, reducing his load was going to be a testing change for him.

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**_CPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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I frowned at the papers in front of me, never having felt such irritation at a stack of dried wood pulp in my life. More than ever, I wanted to be home with my family, but this schedule was preventing that course of action. I had manipulated, shuffled, and reorganized for hours and I was still no closer to solving the riddle that was my timetable.

Having recently admitted I did not possess all the answers to life's questions, I finally put an end to my suffering by picking up my phone and dialing a seldom used number.

"Sir?" came the questioning reply after only one ring.

"Jasper, son, what have I requested of you in terms of greetings?"

"Sorry, Carlisle," replied Jasper in his telltale Southern drawl.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but have you and Edward finished your hunt?"

"Yes, sir…err, uh, Dad?" he stuttered.

"Go ahead and send Edward home, I would like for you to come see me at the hospital."

He hesitated, before grunting his assent.

I realized my mistake as soon as I heard the dial tone. Jasper's discomfort over the family dynamic came as a serious revelation to me. I knew he was troubled by bloodlust and his own terrible past, but I never imagined those two obstacles would prevent him from considering himself a full member of the family.

I waited patiently for his arrival. Less than twenty minutes later I heard a rapping on my office door. Jasper, unlike all the rest of my children with the exception of Bella, always waited for permission before entering my office. What I once viewed as a throwback from his Southern upbringing, I now understood to be the result of years of following orders in a strict chain of command.

"Come in son," I beckoned wearily.

He strolled in, his golden curls a riot upon his head, his tawny eyes betraying his confusion and reluctance to enter the office.

"You're disappointed," he probed cagily. He made no other remark, walking further into the office to take a seat across from me. He waited patiently for my reply.

"Yes, Jasper, I am disappointed, but not in you."

"Oh, well, you asked me to come?" came his response in the form of a question.

"I need help," I admitted.

"Pardon?"

I resisted the urge to chuckle at his dumbfounded expression, but my amusement was conveyed nonetheless.

"I fail to see the comedy, sir."

"Jasper," I admonished with exasperation. He ducked his head, looking sheepish.

"Sorry, how can I assist you?"

I unceremoniously shoved the haphazard pile of papers I had been staring at for two hours toward my son.

"I don't understand," he admitted.

"I've given it my all, but I've always been rubbish at coordinating a schedule. I need help," I confessed, trying to share my feelings of vexation with him to aid in his understanding.

He looked at me with a strange expression, opened his mouth as though to speak, and then closed it again. His brows furrowed and he pressed his lips together. He continued to scrutinize me before finally speaking.

"You're serious?" he questioned.

"Yes, quite serious. I need your help."

His peals of laughter rang throughout the office. Now, I looked on in confusion, furrowing my brows and attempting to discover the source of his amusement. I was, however, pleased by the expression on his face.

"You called me down here because you can't rearrange your schedule?"

"Yes, but I fail to see the comedy, son," I replied, parroting his previous answer.

He sobered, but a twinkle in his eyes told me he was still vastly amused by my request.

"I'll see what I can do. It might be helpful to decide how many hours you want to work each week."

"Seventy," I replied automatically.

"Carlisle, the whole point of rearranging your timetable is to give you more time at home. Why don't you see how you manage with fifty and you can be on call every other weekend?"

I mused over his suggestion, taking into consideration how delighted Esme would be over my increased presence at home.

"Fifty it is then." I conceded and then watched as my son easily manipulated the hours into the schedule, allowing for necessary human breaks and other measures to protect our secret. In less than five minutes, he presented me with tidy piece of paper, covered in his neat script, detailing my new schedule.

"The hospital should have no problem with those hours. You are still working more than most of your colleagues. I think you forget this isn't exactly Seattle. The good people of Forks do not need your constant presence here. Honestly, you'll probably be of more use at home with Bella."

"Thank you, Jasper. I needed someone to put it into perspective for me."

He ducked his head, and mumbled, "it's nothing."

"You were worried that I was upset with you," I stated, knowing he would answer.

"You weren't very specific on the phone, Carlisle. I've yet to have a pleasant outcome when speaking to one of my superiors in private."

I sighed, frustrated that Jasper was still hung up on that one point. I had hoped I wouldn't have to resort to such measures, but I needed to show Jasper that while I may be the leader of our motley crew, I was by no means his superior. I had picked up on some of the customs of traditional covens in my travels and decided now would be a good time to put that knowledge to use.

I walked around my desk, sank to my knees in front of my son and tilted my head so my neck was exposed to him. I folded my hands behind my back and closed my eyes. If he wanted, he could easily decapitate me in a fraction of a second.

"Carlisle, why?" he questioned in wonder.

"Words alone have not been sufficient to convince you that you are an equal member of this family. I trust you with my life, Jasper. I trust you to try your hardest and to protect this family, your family. You have proven yourself time and again, and I want there to be no more question of my intentions or of your place here. I hope through my actions you will finally believe my sincerity when I say we can not exist without you," I answered, never opening my eyes, never shifting in my position.

I felt the air stir as he moved from his seated position to join me on the floor. His forehead came to rest on my exposed shoulder and his arms wrapped around my waist. I returned the embrace, releasing him as I felt him try to pull away.

"Thank you, dad," he drawled.

I stood up and offered him my hand, which to my surprise, he actually took. Together we quickly tidied my desk and then headed toward the door.

"If you'll wait," I offered, "I'll go hand this to the secretary and then we can go home."

"Fine by me," he replied, rocking back and forth on his heels.

I hurried to the secretary's office, eager to rejoin my son and the rest of my family. Twice, I showed my own vulnerability, and twice I had given my son the chance to see that I needed him. If necessary, I would remind him everyday for the rest of eternity, long after he no longer needed to hear it verbalized.

As we journeyed home, I found myself wondering how my daughters were faring. They seemed to have come to terms with their differences and misunderstandings, even if Alice and Rosalie were still a little wary with each other. I knew Bella would sort them out quickly if they started to revert to their old habits. I smiled thinking of my newest daughter, hoping she was enjoying this outing more than the others she'd been forced on.

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**_BPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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When I woke up from my nap, Alice told me we were still a good half hour from the mall. Considering the trip should have taken more than three hours and we hadn't even spent a full two hours in the car yet, I found myself wondering just how fast Alice was driving. I stopped myself from glancing at the speedometer, knowing I would only freak myself out with the reading.

I still felt a little groggy and didn't feel much like talking, but it appeared my companions were off in their own little worlds already. Alice was singing along with the radio, her love for pop music making itself known. I could see Rosalie in the rear view mirror thumbing through the pages of _Gone With The Wind_. I was surprised she hadn't finished it the other afternoon, but she seemed engrossed and I didn't want to interrupt her. I knew how much it bothered me when someone distracted me from reading.

The sound of Alice singing and the pavement whizzing by lulled me back into a half-conscious state. Catching another glimpse of Rosalie, I smiled in memory of the afternoon following the Cullens' feud. After spending the morning at my own house, I'd returned to the Cullens. With all the arguing and my subsequent conking out, I hadn't had the opportunity to actually visit with my vampire family.

_Flashback- Tuesday June 26_

I'd been surprised to find Alice waiting at the door for me, holding a brush in her hands.

"Alice, what?" I'd begun to ask before she interrupted me.

"She needs this. She's up in her room. I'll talk to you later," and with that, she pushed the brush into my limp fingers, kissed me on the cheek and darted out of the room.

I stood there, shocked for a moment, before gathering myself and climbing the stairs. It felt strange to stop in front of Rosalie and Emmett's room instead of following the hallway to the stairs to get to Edward's. I raised my hand to knock, but Rosalie's voice sounded right before my knuckles met with the wood.

"You can come in, Bella."

I opened the door and stuck my head inside.

"Bella, all the way in if you please?"

Smiling sheepishly for my behavior, I walked across the bedroom and sat beside Rosalie on the window seat. She had a faraway expression on her face, but she looked even more beautiful than usual with the sun causing her skin to sparkle and her hair to shine. I had to remind myself not to feel self-conscious around her; Rosalie just had that effect on people.

"What are you looking at?" I asked, squinting into the sun, seeing only blurry green for miles.

"Bella," she laughed, "I'm watching Emmett."

"Really? I don't see him," I answered, frustrated, before I remember just how much better Rosalie's sight was than my own.

She hadn't even bothered teasing me verbally; she just looked at me with playful exasperation. Trying to recover from my moment of stupidity, I held up the brush and watched her smile grow and her eyes dance with pleasure. She grabbed my hand and led me over to the bed, sinking down gracefully as I plopped beside her, making her bounce a little.

"You first," she said while snatching the brush from my hands. "Have you even brushed your hair today?" she scolded.

I shrugged in response, knowing full well she was the last person to brush my hair. I just threw it back in a low ponytail this morning to get it out of my face. I felt myself relax with each stroke until I was nearly a puddle of goo when she finished. I scooted so I was behind her and began to work the brush through her corn silk hair. She sighed with pleasure, some of the tension releasing from her form. When I finished, I laid the brush down and sprawled horizontally across the bed. Rose quirked her eyebrow at me before mimicking my position.

She reached out and touched the skin right below my left eye. "You still look exhausted," she stated with a frown.

Before last week, I would have been surprised by the gesture and insulted by the comment, but I knew she meant it to be caring.

"Just give me a few days and I'll be fine Rose," I assured her.

She continued to frown, but did not press further.

"Are you mad at me?" I blurted out before I even realized what I was saying.

"What?" she reacted. "Why would I be mad at you, Bella?"

"I sort of threw you to the wolves last night."

She laughed at my expression and it took me a second to catch on.

"Bella, if you had thrown me to the wolves, you can be sure I would have been mad. It takes forever to get that smell out," she teased gently before continuing. "No, I'm not mad. It needed to be done. They are looking at me, really looking at me for the first time in years, and actually seeing who I am. Thank you for forcing them. Thank you for forcing all of us to really look and see for the first time. Your vision may not be as sharp as a vampire's, but you perceive more than we could ever hope to."

"You're welcome, Rose," I smiled in return.

I reached over and snagged her pillow, making myself more comfortable.

"Please," she laughed, "By all means make yourself at home."

I looked over to her, my face betraying my emotions as I admitted, "It feels nice to be home."

I still found it hard to believe their return was real. I waited to wake up from this dream and face my harsh reality again. I clutched Rosalie's pillow tighter as tears started to form. Before they had a chance to fall, she reached over and pulled me into a hug.

"It isn't home unless you're here, Bella," she'd whispered into my ear. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that."

I'd squeezed her tighter in return, glad to have finally solidified the relationship I'd always wanted with Rosalie.

_Present- Tuesday July 26_

I smiled as the last moment of the memory played out in my head. I caught Rosalie's eyes in the mirror and smiled brightly at her. She returned my smile full force, her face lighter than it had ever been the entire time I'd known her.

"Get ready to shop till you drop, girls," trilled Alice excitedly.

"Don't worry Bella," Rose chuckled. "I'll protect you from the crazy pixie."

I was so happy to see that the two of them had worked out their differences. From what I had gotten out of Edward, it was a difficult conversation. They appeared to have reached a truce, though their smiles to each other were not as bright and happy as when then smiled at anyone else. I found myself wondering exactly what they had said to each other.

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**_RPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
**

I watched in amusement as Bella woke and then promptly fell back into a state of near unconsciousness. Alice caught my eyes and smiled, though it looked a bit strained. She obviously still felt guilty about last week, even though I had long since given up being mad at her. It just wasn't worth it anymore.

She'd sought me out last week after Bella had gone home again, determined to apologize. We ended up in another quarrel with each other, though no voices were raised and we'd ended in with an embrace. I couldn't remember the last time I'd hugged my sister before that.

_Flashback- Wednesday June 27_

She'd cornered me in the music room, apologizing and persisting even when I retreated to my bathroom.

"Rose, I really am sorry, for everything," she stated for the hundredth time that day.

"Alice, enough!" I finally snapped, regretting it immediately as I watched her cringe.

"Why don't you like me?" she asked in a small voice.

"Alice, I like you just fine," I stated.

"Fine," she huffed, "Then why don't you love me?"

"Alice?" I probed, absolutely floored by her question.

"You can say you like me all you choose, but you've never wanted me for a sister. You can't love something you don't want; I should know," she explained in a pained voice.

I took a moment to really appreciate what the past few months had meant for Alice. It was like she was living my nightmare, watching everything she loved and wanted torn from her grasp and not being able to do anything about it. The only difference was that I suffered for a night; Alice had been suffering for weeks without end. Regardless of the duration, I finally saw what I had always been too blind to see before; Alice and I wanted to same thing: a family that loved and needed us.

I must have been silent for too long because Alice started to shuffle away while mumbling, "It's okay, Rosalie. No one wants damaged goods. I understand."

I was shocked to hear those words come out of her mouth, but not so stunned that I didn't grab her arm and turn her around. She wouldn't meet my gaze, so I forced her head up, making her look into my eyes.

"Do you love me?" I asked, furious that my sister had to feel what I had felt for all those years.

"Yes, Rosalie. You're my sister, of course I love you," her voice shook as she answered.

"Do you think any less of me because of what happened to me?"

"No, of course not. It wasn't your fault," she backtracked quickly, obviously fearing I was now angry with her.

"Why would it be any different for me concerning you?" I probed.

She sighed before responding, "You never wanted a sister, Rosalie. I was always an intruder in your life, from the very beginning; that hasn't changed."

"Oh, but you see that's where you're wrong pixie." I replied, pulling her closer. "I have always wanted a sister. All my life I wanted a little sister with big blue eyes and long blond hair, a miniature of myself. I would buy her pretty dresses and let her cry in my lap when some stupid boy broke her heart. I wanted to be the best big sister imaginable. I wanted to be someone to look up to."

"See, I told you!" Alice cried, "You don't want me. No one wants me."

Before she could successfully struggle from my grasp, I pulled her closer still and held her, leaning down to rest my head on top of hers.

"No, Alice. You weren't what I imagined. There you were, a tiny little pixie, bouncing up and down, so excited about life. And there I was, the most spiteful vampire in existence. I wasn't anything to look up to; I was no role model. But you were, happy despite not knowing your past, content with a family you hardly knew. I was so jealous, watching you interact with my family, situating yourself as if you'd always belonged. And all the while I resented you, I knew I needed you, because you showed me that I would overcome all the horrors of my past, and I would be content. I may not have loved you at first, but I do now. I may not have wanted you, but I always needed you."

I felt her still in my arms, listening to what I was saying.

"When you left to go save Edward, I was terrified, Alice, absolutely terrified. True enough I wanted Edward back and I felt more than a little guilty for involving Bella, but I was terrified you weren't coming home. I made Jasper tell me over and over again what you had said. I couldn't believe I'd sent you off to your death. I was a wreck until you called to say you were on your way back. I've never been so glad to see you as when you walked through the parking garage after your flight from Atlanta landed."

"Just because you need me doesn't mean you want me, Rose," she sniffed, still shaking.

Poor Alice, I'd never seen her look so pitiful.

"Everything I cherish most about being a vampire has fallen into my lap. Fate has been kind to me in this life. I got the family I always wished for. The husband I'd always dreamt of and the sister I'd always wanted."

"I'm not blond, my eyes are gold and I am not a miniature version of you, Rosalie. How am I what you wanted?"

"Well, you are tiny, and technically, your eyes are the same color as mine. I think I can deal with your hair not being blond."

"Don't make fun of me, Rosalie," she scowled, obviously missing my attempt at levity. It was moments like this that I really needed Emmett.

"Alice," I spoke with all the sincerity I could muster. "You are the sister I always wanted, even when I didn't know what to ask for."

She nodded and hugged me tighter before stepping back and smoothing out her hair.

"Maybe you were right. I would have been better off not knowing my past. I've got all these repressed abandonment issues to deal with now," she muttered.

"Your idiotic human parents may not have seen what a treasure you are, but I do. I am going to tell you something Bella told me. She may be the youngest, but I think she understands so much more than we give her credit for. You may feel broken, but you are not beyond repair. You are Mary Alice Cullen, loving daughter, adored wife and cherished sister. It may not be today or tomorrow, but someday, you are going to be whole again because you are too important to me and to the rest of this family for us to let you stay that way. We won't leave you because we want you and need you and no one can ever take your place."

She'd smiled, but still looked a little out of sorts. I had hugged her again before sending her downstairs to talk with Jasper. I knew her abandonment issues, as she had so called them, were not going to be resolved until she had spoken with her husband.

_Present- Tuesday July 2_

Snapping out of my reverie, I looked at Alice and sighed, still having no idea how to truly make her see how much I loved her. She didn't look as frazzled as she had earlier in the week. I knew she had made her peace with Edward and she and Bella had long since forgiven each other. I hoped she and Jasper had worked through their issues. I remembered how distraught Emmett was when I returned from my haze. No doubt Alice felt the same way when facing the loss of her mate.

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**_JPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
**

It was close to noon so I knew my wife and sisters were nearly at the mall in Olympia if not already there. Carlisle and I had just returned home to find Esme dragging Edward outside to marvel at the arbor Emmett had built. I smiled at the antics of my mother as she chattered away at Edward and Carlisle. I felt a tug at my heart as her behavior reminded me of my Alice before this whole fiasco of a week. She had regained some of her spark today, but I still felt terrible that I had caused her such pain. I drug myself upstairs and all but collapsed on our bed, clinging to her pillow which bathed me in her scent, providing some measure of comfort.

_Flashback- Monday June 25_

I had to carry her to our room at the end of our family discussion. She didn't even react to being in my arms, so pervasive was her disbelief in the entire situation. I'd placed her on the bed and gently changed her into her favorite silk pajamas. She only wore them when we ignored the rest of the family and spent the day in bed together, just basking in our love. Alice and I were never overtly physical with our love, taking pleasure instead on using other methods to express our mutual devotion and adoration.

I changed into my own silk lounge pants before climbing in bed with her, cradling her small form to my own, sending her waves of apology and love. It took hours before she finally spoke.

"I'm not mad at you, you know," she sighed into my neck.

"Yes, darlin' I know you're not vexed with me, but you ought to be."

"I can't be mad at you Jasper. I am mad at myself for making you resort to such desperate measures."

It pained me to see her taking the blame for my actions.

"No, honey. It wasn't anything you did. Rosalie was right earlier, I was acting like a coward."

"You can't be a coward, Jasper; you face your own fear too often for anyone to call you that."

I shook my head and then buried my face into her hair, breathing deeply, trying to regain my frayed nerves. Before I had a chance to speak again, her weary voice sounded and I almost doubled over at the force of her fear and anxiety.

"You wouldn't have left me, would you? Even if Bella hadn't figured it all out?"

I couldn't lie to her anymore, but I hated having to tell her the truth. "I would've tried, Alice, but I doubt I would have made it much past the front door. I can't live with out you."

"I need you to promise me you'll never leave me, Jasper. You have to promise me," she begged desperately. It was heartbreakingly tragic to see my formerly bubbly pixie reduced to such a state.

I peppered her face with kisses, trying to show her how much I loved and needed her, but her small hands stilled my head.

"Please," she cried, pleading, "I need to hear you say it, please Jasper."

"I wont leave you Alice, my love. I can't. From the day I walked into that diner, that was it for me. My future couldn't exist unless it was entwined with yours. I damn near died when you were in Italy. I wouldn't have been able to go on if you hadn't come home. I am selfish enough to tell you I need you more than anyone else ever could."

Now, I broke into sobs again.

"I'm so sorry for what I've done. I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. Please darlin', you have to know the last thing I ever wanted to do was cause you pain."

Her small hands worked themselves into my hair as she burrowed her face into the space between my shoulder and neck. She was mumbling something, but it was so soft, I couldn't make out what it was.

"Alice, what are you sayin'?"

She pulled away just enough to rest her forehead against my own.

"I know, Jasper. I know you would never hurt me. The only way you could would be to leave and not let me follow. I can't be happy unless I have you. I only survived because I knew I would find you someday. You always say that I gave you hope, but it was really the other way around. I never could have survived on my own if I hadn't known you'd be with me in the end. I need you with me, always and forever."

Her last statement gave me an idea. I disentangled our limbs and propped her up against the headboard as I walked over toward the dresser and took her jewelry box in my hands before walking back over to sit beside her.

She had obviously already seen what I was planning because she began to rummage through the box immediately, pulling out two rings and two chains. She placed the largest ring on the longer chain and then reached over to clasp it around my neck. I had already threaded the smaller ring through the other chain and kissed her while I clasped it around her throat. It hung down long on her chest and would not been easily scene under her day clothes.

I picked up the ring and held it over her heart with my palm.

"Mary Alice Whitlock, I promised you the day we wed that I would remain yours forever and always and sealed that promise with this ring. I wish you could wear it where it belongs, but until that time comes, I want you to wear it next to your heart and know that I'll love you every day of eternity."

The smile I had been missing returned to her beautiful face. I knew I would spend the rest of my life making up for my actions today, but at least I knew at the end of all things, Alice and I would be together, forever and always, just as we'd promised all those years ago.

We continued to hold one another close throughout the night, our hands over each other's hearts, long after the soft piano duet played by Edward and Rosalie faded into silence. I allowed myself to smile, feeling complete peace settling over my family for the first time since I'd become a part. The only noise that remained was the muffled breathing of Bella and the rhythmic beating of her heart. The sound that had once tormented me now brought me comfort. Bella would not allow this family to fall so far into ruin ever again. She couldn't protect us from outside threats, but she could save us from ourselves, and for that I would be eternally grateful.

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**_EPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
**

After Esme finally let me return to the house after showing me the arbor Emmett had crafted, I found myself seated in front of the piano. I had never felt a desire to play with accompaniment, but now the bench felt lonely. I had enjoyed playing with Rosalie several times over the course of the last week and now found myself reluctant to play without her. I remembered fondly the night of the confrontation and the conversation I had with Rosalie that followed.

_Flashback- Monday June 25_

Bella hadn't stirred since she fell asleep in my arms at the dining room table. I carried her gently upstairs to my bedroom and tucked her into bed, stroking the soft skin of her face as I brushed an errant curl away from her eyes. Her lips pursed, making it look as though she were pouting. I could hear the members of my family in their various activities throughout the house. Both Rosalie and Jasper were consoling their spouses and Carlisle and Esme were tucked away in his study soothing each other's frayed nerves. It had been a trying evening for all of us, but I was so very proud of my Bella for standing up to all of us. Then again, I was displeased that she had caused herself to suffer for my family. She had done enough of that already.

She snuggled into my side and I enjoyed holding her, taking comfort from her presence. I hadn't had a chance to just sit with her quietly since my return and I was enjoying wrapping myself up in her warmth and scent. I had lost track of all time and the other members of my family and thus found myself momentarily surprised when Rosalie knocked on my door.

"Emmett needed to go run, but he wouldn't go unless I promised him I'd come sit with you," she admitted.

"I can't really blame him for wanting to ensure your safety, Rose. I would ask the same because you are my sister. We all came too close to loosing you tonight."

"Hmm, " she agreed, "How do you suppose she managed it? Half an hour was enough to terrify me for the rest of eternity. She survived it for months," she mused out loud and then gasped. "Oh, Edward I'm sorry."

"It's fine Rose. I just keep reminding myself that she's a lot tougher than I like to think she is. She may be fragile, but that doesn't mean she can't hold her own."

"You don't even know the half of it. She was a holy terror all weekend, and I mean that in the best possible way."

Bella stirred at the sound of our voices, burrowing further into my side. I could tell Rosalie really wanted to talk to me, but she wasn't going to ask me to leave.

"Carlisle, Esme, could you come here for moment?" I called to my parents.

"Yes, darling? What do you need?" Esme queried.

"Will you stay with Bella while I go with Rose? I don't want her to be alone in case she wakes up while I'm gone."

They nodded their consent and I felt a pull on my heart as I watched Bella's pursed lips form into a frown as I extracted myself from her side. Esme settled next to her quickly, and I couldn't help but smile as Bella curled into my mother, letting out a sigh of contentment with a smile on her lips. Carlisle joined the two of them and Bella seemed just as content as she had with me.

"When do you suppose the last time she was able to cuddle with both her parents was?" Rosalie asked.

"Probably not since she was a toddler, I imagine. I doubt she even remembers it," responded Carlisle as he stroked my beloved's cheek with the tenderness only a father can possess.

I placed I kiss on Bella's forehead and watched as Rosalie did the same before we made our way down to the music room.

I sat down at the piano bench and beckoned my sister to join me. She sat down beside me and placed her head on my shoulder. In all our years together, we had never sat this close together. I felt a strange sort of contentment wash over me as I enjoyed being with my sister for the first time.

"I'm glad you picked her," she murmured.

"Me too, Rose. Me too. I never thought I'd have what all of you have. I never thought I needed it, but with her I can't imagine how I ever lived without it."

"I know what you mean. I was just lucky enough to find Emmett so quickly. I didn't think I'd ever be able to love anyone."

She paused before continuing.

"I'm sorry I hated you all those years because I thought Carlisle changed me just for you."

"I'm sorry I never bothered to get to know you because I resented you being thrust into my life, " I countered.

"We really are quite the pair, aren't we? Too bad Bella is asleep and can't psychoanalyze our relationship. I am sure she has a theory," Rose teased.

"I wouldn't laugh, Rose," I warned lightheartedly, "She's probably already done it and will proceed to deconstruct us at any moment."

"She really is something special."

"Truer words have never been spoken, " I wholeheartedly agreed.

"You know, just because we are getting along now, doesn't mean I am going to stop goading you. It's just too entertaining," she prodded.

"Rose, the day you stop harassing me is the day the world ends. You're my sister and I wouldn't expect any less from you."

"So, are we just going to chit chat all evening, or are you actually going to let me play. You know, with a little more practice I am going to be better than you." She started to play a melody I was unfamiliar with, but soon I caught on a let out a hearty laugh.

I joined her, adding the harmony as she playfully tapped out the chorus to "Anything You Can Do."

"Anything you can do, I can do better, Edward," she taunted.

"We'll see Rosalie; we'll see," I responded, laughing along with my sister as we muddled through several other Broadway tunes before reverting back to our preferred Mozart concertos. Everyone settled down for the night while Rosalie and I played.

_Present- Tuesday July 2_

For hours we'd sat at that bench, laughing and talking, enjoying each other's company for the first time. I ran my fingers over the ivory keys and gently tapped out the melody from "Anything You Can Do," but it just wasn't the same without Rosalie. I decided to goad her into playing when she got home from the shopping trip. We'd get the whole family in here and give an impromptu concert. They'd all love it, especially Bella. I sifted through all the sheet music, just waiting for my sisters and my beloved to return.

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**_RPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
**

Alice whipped the Porsche into the perfect parking place with a precision turn most racecar drivers couldn't pull off. She was already bouncing in her seat.

"Alice, you've got to calm down. You're going to scare poor Bella," I admonished.

Terrify might have been a better choice of word. Bella was actually gripping her seat, looking at Alice with trepidation. I couldn't really blame her. The pixie had a maniacal gleam in her eyes. Even I was a little wary of what was to come.

"Alice, I know you're excited," Bella began, her quavering voice expressing her fear of my tiny sister. "But please, take it easy on me, okay?"

"Silly Bella, shopping with me is always easy. I know exactly what we are going to do and when we are going to do it. Every thing is already planned out and it's an absolutely perfect strategy if I do say so myself."

"That's what worries me," Bella sighed.

Having never seen the dynamics of one of their shopping trips, I burst out into hysterical laughter. Both occupants of the front seats of the car whipped around to stare at me, Alice with a look of annoyance and Bella with one of horror.

"Oh god, you've already driven her mad, Alice!" Bella accused. "She was my only buffer today and you've gone and rendered her completely useless. Who is going to remind you to feed me?" she wailed.

"Don't be so dramatic Bella," Alice scoffed. "I always remember to feed you."

"Yeah, after two hours of me begging, three phone calls from Edward and four from Esme," Bella grumbled in response.

I had finally gotten my laughter under control before Bella let loose that last complaint.

"Do you even hear yourselves?" I asked. Both shot me dirty looks, which only increased my amusement. "Alice you sound like you are planning how to win one of those shopping marathon game shows Emmett makes me suffer through and Bella you look like you are about to face a firing squad. Is it always like this?"

"Worse, actually," Bella admitted sheepishly as she earned a glare from Alice.

"Now do you see what you've been missing, Rosie?" The pixie piped in.

I grinned in response, knowing this was going to be the most entertaining afternoon of shopping in which I had ever participated.

Commander Tinkerbelle rallied her troops near the mall entrance, whipping out a tri fold map of all the stores with an arrow indicating the direction we would be traveling.

"Now," she began, "If we limit ourselves to one half hour in each store we can just make it to the important ones all by the time the mall closes at ten. It's a good thing it's open late, or we'd never finish and then we'd just have to come back tomorrow."

Bella visibly paled and I was worried I was going to have to catch her.

"You mean to tell me," she stuttered, paling further, "you are going to make me shop for ten straight hours? It's a mall, Alice. How can it take ten hours to visit an entire mall?"

"Oh, you want to go into every store? Well, then we are going to need to book a hotel room because that will take all weekend," Alice responded with glee at the prospect of an entire weekend of shopping.

"You have to save me, Rose!" Bella begged as she clung to me, trying to keep her self standing. "She isn't kidding. You've got to protect me from her. I'll never make it on my own."

By the end of her little outburst, Bella was actually hiding behind me, peaking over my shoulder at Alice who had whipped out another copy of the same map and was rerouting the entire shopping excursion.

Taking pity on a now quivering Bella, with a profound understanding of just why she hated going shopping with Alice, I easily reached over and snatched both maps from Alice's hands. She scowled at me before reaching into her purse for another.

"Don't even think about it, Alice," I warned, "Ten hours is more than enough. We've got to wean Bella into the all weekend shopping sprees."

I felt Bella back away from me and turned to see why. She was standing there, shaking like a leaf, and pointing her finger at me.

"Not you too. I thought you'd be on my side, but you're just as insane as she is. I might, might being the key word there, survive ten hours today, but there is no way you will ever convince me to go, much less drag me on an all weekend shopping binge. Just leave me at home and go bond with each other," Bella cried, looking close to tears.

Finally, Alice couldn't contain her amusement any longer and burst into a fit of giggles. I couldn't help but join her when Bella started to mumble about crazy vampire sisters under her breath as she paced to and fro shaking her head at the two of us as we clutched each other for support.

"Oh, Bella, you should have seen your face!" Alice chortled. "It was priceless. Oh, I wish I had my camera."

Bella stood there looking confused and irritated. Alice walked over holding out a map that Bella refused to take, point blank.

"No, I refuse to participate. I am now here under duress," she scowled.

I walked over and plucked the map from Alice hands and started to laugh once again. Evil little pixie had been playing a prank on Bella, who was still apparently none the wiser. I decided she'd suffered long enough.

"Bella," I began, having to hold back another snort of laughter as she glared at me accusingly. "It wont be so bad, really. Just take a look at the map."

She sighed before holding out her hand, in which I placed the map. She opened it with visible anxiety and then relaxed almost immediately.

"Alice," she whined, "Was it really necessary to put me through all that. I'm fragile, remember?"

"Yeah, about as fragile as a bull in a china shop," I sniggered so only Alice could hear me.

"Sorry Bella," Alice trilled, obviously not the least bit repentant. "But you usually complain when I tell you we're going shopping for four hours. I just wanted to put it all into perspective for you. Just wait until Rose and I take you to New York fashion week."

Again, Bella visibly blanched. "A…a…a…week?" she stuttered, nearly hysterical.

I grabbed her around the waist, to steady her now failing legs.

"Don't worry about it, Bella. I'll save you from the shop-a-holic over there. I've got years of practice."

"Alright, fun and games time is over," announced Alice. "Ladies, it is time to get down to business. First stop, Victoria's Secret."

"What happened to weaning me into this? Why on earth do we have to start with lingerie?" Bella whimpered while already exhibiting the signs of her telltale blush.

I grabbed her hand and drug her along as I followed Alice, who was now practically dancing toward the store. So soon as I stepped over the threshold, I was immediately jerked back. Bella stood frozen in the entrance, eyes wide, cheeks inflamed, gripping the doorframe with as much force as she could. Having not expected the contrary force, it was enough to make me stumble backwards a little, but I did have enough sense to let go of her arm before I crushed it.

"Honestly, Bella," I chided. "You'd think we were dragging you to your death."

She scowled at me. "When was the last time you went shopping with Alice, Rose?"

"It's been a few years, but she can't be any worse than she was then."

"Oh, I beg to differ. Just look," she replied while pointing behind me.

Alice was wandering the store followed by two clerks who already had a mound of silk and lace in their hands. We'd only been in the store for two minutes and already Alice had gone into full shopping mode.

"Well, need this, and these, two of those and three of that over on the wall," she instructed the overwhelmed clerks.

After five minutes, Alice had put a sizable dent in the store's inventory and I decided I needed to step in before she bought the lot.

"Alice, I think you've got enough. Why don't you let those poor sales clerks go start ringing up all those items before they fall over," I suggested, while shoving the now overburdened girls toward the counter so they could relieve themselves of the piles of lingerie.

Alice frowned at me, but then her eyes lit up in excitement.

"Oh Bella," she trilled. "I got you the cutest blue baby doll."

Bella whimpered, but remained silent. Alice had already scared her into compliance or Bella had decided that fighting wasn't going to get her anywhere.

"Did you pick anything out for me?" I queried.

The sparkle in her eyes twinkled merrily. "Two words," she said, "Red satin."

I smiled in return, knowing I would love whatever she picked. Alice knew fashion like the back of her hand and could dress anyone in the latest trends without ever having them try on one article of clothing. I turned to see how Bella was faring only to find her missing from my immediate line of sight.

"Alice," I questioned almost frantically, "Where is Bella?"

"Oh she's hiding over by the entrance. She took one look at that corset and hightailed it over there," she laughed in response.

True to her words, there was Bella, blushing up a storm near the entrance, eyes downcast, facing away from all the lingerie. Taking half of the six bags Alice was holding I made my way over to Bella. Alice shuffled the bags she was holding before thrusting one at Bella, who only looked at it in horror.

"What did you buy me?" she asked fearfully.

"Relax Bella, it's just some cute bra and panty sets and that one baby doll. Nothing to get worked up about."

Bella looked as if she were going to rifle through the bag, but then stopped, looking up at me before speaking.

"I've learned it's best if I just don't look until I have to. It really only makes it worse," she admitted.

Commander Tinkerbelle proceeded to sprint across to the other side of the mall having spied some trendy fashion boutique. I actually pitied Bella for a moment, knowing what she was about to endure would be far worse than the trip to Victoria's Secret.

She trudged along behind me, holding her pink-stripped bag as far away as possible before it would look awkward. I watched in fascination as she slogged over to Alice and then extended her hand warily. I had no idea what to make of her gesture until Alice piled what appeared to be an entire rack's worth of clothing over her arm. Bella actually staggered a little with the weight as she walked back over to me. She thrust her bag into my hands before looking up and sighing.

"If I'm not back in ten minutes, please come make sure I haven't killed myself with one of these death traps." Without so much as even waiting for my response, she plodded over to the dressing rooms and shut the door with a forlorn groan.

"Geez, Alice," I commented. "I've never seen her so resigned to something before. What on earth did you do to her?"

"I've trained Bella to be a cooperative shopping companion," she replied. "She knows, the less she fights, the shorter the trip and fewer shopping bags for her in the end."

I snorted, just imagining the wars that must have ensued on previous trips and now understanding why Bella seemed to be inundated with bags the first few trips she and Alice made together. Before I could comment further, Bella emerged from the fitting room trying to maintain the three piles into which she had sorted Alice's picks.

"Absolutely not," she stated while handing Alice the first pile in which I spied several strapless dresses of various sparkling materials. "You can pick three from this group," she continued handing Alice the second set of clothing. "And I am fine with all of these," she added thrusting the last pile into my sister's hands.

Alice smiled in satisfaction while Bella leaned against me.

"She never makes you try on anything. Why can't she just pick for me and just shove it all in my closet?" she complained wearily.

"Isn't this what you do with your best friend, Bella?" I probed. "Go to the mall and try on clothes for hours?"

"That doesn't mean I have to like it."

"True enough, but you are the only one who lets her get away with it. She gave up on the rest of us years ago, but with you she can act like any other high school senior. It makes her happy and think especially today, she deserves it, don't you?"

Bella looked pensive, but her expression softened and she nodded in agreement. She hated shopping with a passion, but it made Alice happy and I knew Bella would do anything to see her best friend smile again.

Alice walked back over to us, handing Bella two more shopping bags, giving three to me and keeping three for herself.

"Oh Bella," she sang. "Do you know what time it is?"

Bella whimpered but remained quiet as Alice danced toward a shoe shop, stifling her sob when she caught sight of the stilettos in the window.

"She wont make you try on anything too tall, Bella," I attempted to soothe.

"Ha," she barked in response. "In the mind of Alice you don't approach too tall until you reach Pointe shoes and she's made me try some of those on too."

One hour and seventeen pairs of shoes later, Bella looked like she was about to faint. I chucked to myself remembering her wobble across the store in five inch silver stilettos Alice insisted she try on. She reminded me of a toddler learning how to walk, especially when she reached out for my arm to steady her self, refusing to let go until Alice removed the "death traps" from her feet. Nothing was more priceless than watching her face when Alice pulled out a pair of lace-up leather thigh high boots. Bella turned as pale as a vampire before coloring to a shade of red I didn't even know was possible for a human.

"What ever you have in mind Alice, get it out of your head," she warned.

She was still trudging along behind us, obviously paying no mind to where we were going. I supposed she thought it was better to surrender herself to Alice's whims instead of dreading everything that was to come.

"Alright Bella," smiled Alice. "Since you've been so cooperative today, we'll leave you here while we go into that accessory boutique over there."

Bella finally looked up and for the first time since we'd left the car, I saw a smile light up her face.

"Really, Alice?" she questioned, failing miserably at containing her joy.

"Yep," replied Alice, popping the 'p' at the end.

Bella squealed and clapped her hands in a very convincing impersonation of Alice before running into the store, disappearing from sight almost immediately as she darted between the isles.

"That was nice of you, Alice," I commented as we walked away from the bookstore and toward the boutique across the way.

"She needed a break, and she always hates these kinds of stores," Alice replied.

I nodded and then we went our separate ways, each picking through rows and rows of accessories for nearly an hour. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a hand-dyed silk scarf in a brilliant canary yellow speckled with teal and it clicked. I knew exactly how to show Alice just how I felt about her.

I made my purchases and waited patiently for Alice to join me outside with her own. I sat down on a bench and pulled her down beside me before shifting through my bag to find the scarf. I wound it around her neck and then sat back to admire it. It really was perfect for her.

"Um, thanks, Rose?" she questioned.

"You know as well as I do, how popular scarves are this season, even the bargain stores are carrying them. But just because they are easily accessible doesn't mean they are all beautiful or worth buying. This one was because there isn't another one like it anywhere. It's one of a kind and anything happens to it, it can't be replaced, just like you. You brought Bella into the family, and you made me stop and take the time to love her, but just because we have a new sister, doesn't mean I want to spend the rest of eternity without you. I don't ever want you to feel like you are being replaced, because not only would that be impossible, I would never want to."

Alice looked stunned, before launching herself at me and squeezing me so hard she actually forced all the air out of my lungs, not that I needed it, but it was still uncomfortable. I wheezed and gasped trying to re-inflate my lungs and ease the strain.

"I leave the two of you alone for an hour," sniggered Bella, sounding much happier than she had all day, "And you are trying to kill each other."

She bounced toward us, plopping down on the other side of Alice, laden with several bags from the bookstore and also one from one of the more commercial accessory stores.

Alice released me, her keen vision narrowing in on the out of place bag like a hawk catching sight of a mouse. "Whatcha got, Bella?" she inquired, trying to peak into the bag.

"Presents!" cried Bella happily. "They are a little silly," she admitted, "but I just couldn't help myself."

I watched as she pulled a pink monstrosity from the bag and cocked an eyebrow as she handed it to me. I accepted it with more than a little confusion before bursting out into laughter. Bella had bought me a hot pink hairbrush covered in rhinestones and marabou feathers. The handle was wrapped in pink ribbon and covered in more rhinestones and glitter. It looked like it belonged in a child's dress up trunk, but I absolutely loved it.

"I thought," Bella snorted, while trying to explain her purchase. "I thought that we should have a special brush and well, I don't think anyone could find a brush more special than that!"

"Thanks, Bella," I laughed with her, watching in fascination as she held out her hands toward Alice, clutching something in both.

"Pick a hand," she instructed Alice. After a minute, Alice tapped Bella's right hand with her index finger.

"Okay, Alice. Give me your hand" she directed and when Alice complied I watched as Bella dropped a silver chain and charm into Alice's hand. Bella opened her left hand to show that she had a similar object of her own.

"They're friendship necklaces," she explained. "If we'd been best friends when we were eight or so, we would have had these. All best friends do and I figured that maybe we weren't too old for them yet. And since we will be best friends forever, it seemed quite appropriate."

I watched as Alice fingered the charm that said "BFF." It was a tacky fluorescent purple with silver writing, but Alice held it like it was the most precious thing in the world. Bella was grinning wildly, having stunned Alice into silence momentarily.

It didn't take long for Alice to bubble over with thanks and excitement over her newest piece of jewelry.

"I remember when these first became popular," she admitted, "But I never thought I'd have a reason to own one. Thank you Bella." She stated while clasping the necklace around her neck and then smiling broadly.

Alice stilled, her eyes glazing over for a moment before she returned to the present.

"Ohh," she squealed, "We need to go home right now. Edward is planning something fun!"

Before either Bella or I had a chance to respond, Alice had grabbed each of us and was dragging us back toward the mall entrance. With the bags stored safely in her trunk and next to me in the back seat, she whipped out of the parking lot and began the long drive home.

While she drove, the three of us chatted, Alice fingering her necklace, me, playing with the feathers on my brush and Bella smiling happily at the two of us. It was so different from the nearly silent ride on the way here. Right now, I felt as though nothing in the world could make me happier than this time with my sisters, but my joy would only increase when we returned home.

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**_JPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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I buried my face into Alice's hair, watching her play with the necklace Bella had given her this afternoon. Gone was the haunted look from her eyes and back was my bubbly pixie of a wife. She was bouncing in my lap, unable to contain her excitement and joy. Not that I could blame her. I too was basking in the glory that was my family. Everyone was happy and content. The emotions wrapped around me like a cocoon and for the first time in my long existence I allowed my self to fully relax and just enjoy the moment.

I wanted to believe I had come a long way in the last week to finally accepting the changes in my life. Carlisle had helped me this afternoon by reinforcing what he had always said though actions he knew I could not misunderstand. For once, I found myself glad for my years of torment and torture because I knew without question the meaning of his actions. Having such absolute faith lifted a burden from my shoulders I had not even known I was carrying.

The whole family was gathered and for once I did not find myself on the peripheries, as I was apt to be before. I was right in the thick of things, participating with the same vigor as the rest of my family. And I truly felt at this moment that they were mine, not just because I was a package deal that came with Alice, but rather because they had come to love me, in spite of my faults, for myself. It was a heady feeling to bask in that love. But my emotions were no match for Bella's.

She watched the proceedings with a huge smile across her face. The joy and love and relief pouring from her tiny body were more powerful than anything I'd ever felt. She'd seen us at our worst and was now witnessing us at our best. We had stayed together before because of obligation and a desire for comfort and stability, but we were together now because we were a family and we loved each other. A concept that had once seemed to foreign to me now seemed fitting.

There was no need for superiors or chains of command here. Rules were flexible because at the end of the day we all had shortcomings and needed the comfort and love of our family to see past those faults to appreciate all that we had. I did not need fear rejection, because I had learned to ask for help. I'd intended to speak with Bella as soon as she arrived home, hoping to make my peace with her, but she spoke before I even had the chance.

"How about Wednesdays?" she'd asked me. I frowned, not understanding the question.

"I promise I wont come here on Wednesdays, so you can know you will always have one day a week that you don't have to worry."

I was stunned by her selflessness, but I smiled before pulling her into a hug, never once having to battle myself to keep from killing her.

"How about we keep Wednesday as an option if I need a break? Emmett was right. We've got to test the boundaries at some point."

She hugged me in return and then bounced over to my burly brother before hugging him as well. She was still situated in his embrace as we all listened to Edward and Rosalie play together for the family. I smiled in satisfaction watching my family and feeling like I truly belonged for the first time.

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**_EsPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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I ran my fingers though my newest daughter's soft brown curls as she cuddled with Emmett, toying with the new charm on her bracelet. I was still smiling from this morning. I couldn't believe Emmett had spent the week building my arbor and carving the sign that hung in the entryway.

I felt freer than I had in decades, knowing my children were not going to reject me for acting more like the twenty-six year old I was than a woman who was truly old enough to be their mother. Whether I gave birth to them or not, they were my children and always would be. Now, however, I could play pranks and act with abandon, feeling more like myself than I had since I married Charles.

I reveled in renewing my wild ways, but had enough sense to know I still had to maintain a certain level of decorum or all hell would break loose in the house.

I had a feeling that the arguments and disagreements that had plagued us in the past would no longer be the source of familial strife. With eight people under the same roof it was inevitable that there would be quarrels, but I knew we would never again make the mistake of sweeping those concerns under the rug.

Bella had worked a miracle and I was thrilled to watch her smile at Rosalie and have that smile returned. In the face of a situation that would have crumbled stronger relationships, they had held on to each other and prevailed. I was beyond pleased to know all my daughters now loved and cherished each other. They looked so happy and carefree upon returning from their shopping excursion.

Bella was toying with the monstrously pink brush I had come to understand that she had given to Rosalie. It was an adorable gift and while I had almost reached around to use it to brush her hair, I stopped understanding the symbolism the two of them saw in that brush. It was the physical evidence of their bond and of their reconciliation. It would be the object that held special meaning for them for years to come and a source of comfort during times of trouble. Leaving the brush where is rested in Bella's lap, I continued to stroke her hair with my fingers, smiling as she relaxed further into the embrace of her brother.

His head rested on top of her, mimicking the position of Alice and Jasper. Everyone wore smiles of peace and happiness and I tilted my head to look at my beloved Carlisle, who sported the biggest grin of all, being able to watch his family instead of hearing the events at a later time. I was so pleased he would be spending more time at home and I knew the children were just as happy.

I continued to look around the room, my pride overflowing watching my children, knowing I would have the pleasure of being their mother for all eternity and seeing them grow and mature. I would always want to keep them close, but now, believing in their unwavering affections wholeheartedly, I knew I would be able to send them off on their own for awhile, and never fear for their eventual return. They would come back to me, not because they needed me, but because they wanted their mother. I would welcome them back with open arms and keep them close for as long as they wanted to stay.

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**_EmPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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I felt Bella sink deeper into my arms as Esme continued to comb through her hair. She felt just as small as Alice when I held her this way and I loved that she felt safe enough in my arms to relax so fully. Her head was tucked under my chin as we watched my Rosie and Edward play. I knew she was just as happy as I was that our mates were no longer fighting. I felt her shift her hands and knew she was playing with her bear charm again, as she'd been doing off and on all night.

I loved the absolute delight that spread over her face when I presented her with the charm. She held up her wrist and waited patiently for me to attach it to her bracelet before smiling and jumping up to give me a hug. She was the little sister I'd always wanted in every way. I secretly hoped the next time we moved Bella and I would be able to pretend we really were siblings. We looked enough alike that she could be Bella McCarty. Jasper and Rosalie always got to pretend to be twins and more and more so did Alice and Edward. Bella and I weren't close enough in age to pull of being twins, but I was bound and determined for Carlisle to make us siblings.

I caught Edward's eyes as he nodded, obviously agreeing with my internal monologue. I pulled Bella against me a little tighter, happy to have her where she belonged and glad to see every member of the family pleased by her inclusion. We had taken her for granted last year. I'd never thought I'd miss her so much as I did when we left and never thought I'd be so happy to see her walking toward me in Edward's arms after they'd returned from Volterra.

I heard Alice sigh with contentment and was glad to see her finally back to her usual self. Next to Bella and Edward, she'd suffered the most recently and she didn't need to be unhappy any longer. I knew she wouldn't mind being dethroned by Bella as my favorite sister. I think Bella was really everyone's favorite at this point, and not just because she was a novelty like before, but because she brought out the best in everyone.

Edward was happy for the first time since I'd known him. Carlisle and Esme got to act like real parents. Alice found her best friend. My Rosie found someone else who truly understood her and Jasper and I got the little sister we always needed. Bella had worked a miracle on my family, even when we didn't know we needed one.

Truth be told, I was still a little scared of her. She'd taken on seven vampires and won even when she was sick. She was going to be a handful as a newborn and while I might have been a little uneasy, I was also absolutely thrilled. She was going to make a great sparring partner, if Edward ever let her fight me. I caught his eyes again and nearly laughed at the glare he was giving me.

'Tough luck' I crowed mentally. 'She's my sister now and that means I get to play with her. I'd like to see you try to stop her if she wants to fight!"

Edward winced, knowing what I was thinking to be true before refocusing his attention on the music. Bella curled into me a little more and I planted a kiss on the top of her head. I owed this tiny little human for saving my angel and fixing my family and I was glad I was going to have the rest of eternity to show her how much I appreciated what she'd done.

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**_APOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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I loved the feeling of Jasper's arms around me and I felt at peace for the first time in months. No longer was I haunted by the missing presence of my best friend, the almost death of my brother or the horrors of my past. Over the last week I had stopped fighting against everything that had happened and just accepted it. I still didn't remember my human life and I refused to allow a few records and photographs to ruin my vampire existence.

I had reconciled with Rosalie, something I thought would never happen and rekindled my love and trust in Jasper. I felt silly for having ever doubted him, but his timing couldn't have been worse. As quickly as that thought entered my head, I allowed it to pass. I refused to dwell in the past and I was trying desperately not to continue living only in the future. Bella had shown me just what a disaster waiting to happen that was. For now, I was content to be fully in the present.

I was surrounded by the family I had come to love, even before I met them. Emmett was holding Bella like he often held me and I smiled at the tenderness in his expression and the joy in hers. Esme and Carlisle looked on fondly, no doubt pleased to see all of their children getting along. Rosalie and Edward smiled at each other as they played, finally acting on their mutual affection, something I'd never witnessed before.

A sigh of pleasure escaped me and Jasper pulled me closer, leaning down to kiss my cheek. There was not a trace of tension in his body. I had never in all our years together seen him relax fully. He was always on the alert for something, but now, in the glow of our family, he could finally just sit and be. Generally that was something Emmett was particularly skilled at, and it thrilled me to no end that Jasper had finally discovered how. He idly played with my fingers, absently stroking the ring finger on my left hand.

Deciding there was no reason for my ring to be absent from my finger, I fished out the chain from under my shirt and pulled the ring off. I was about to put it back on my hand when Jasper took it from my fingers. He brought my hand up to his lips and gave my ring finger a kiss before lowering it and placing the ring right where it belonged. I couldn't help but smile down at my hand. Nor could I stop myself from grinning wildly when his hands intertwined with my own and I saw that he had also put on his ring.

I caught Carlisle looking at the two of us and returned his smile. I loved that he was home to share this moment with us and that he had helped my Jasper earlier. Sometimes people had to step out of their comfort zones to make sure others knew the truth. Bella had done it for all of us and Carlisle had done it for Jasper. I marveled at the changes wrought by my best friend and reached up to toy with my charm again, knowing she belonged here and that she completed the family.

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**_CPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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I watched my family with a smile I hadn't used since Esme agreed to marry me. I wish I had known years ago that I would be surrounded by the ragtag band of vampires I called my family. I always hated that I never gave four of them the choice, but seeing them together now, I was glad for my selfishness for once. I couldn't imagine my existence without any one of them.

I had tried and failed to convince myself that Bella would be better off if her involvement with my family ceased, but I was now immensely grateful that Alice had refused to accept our disappearance from her life. I smiled as I watched her and Jasper replace their wedding bands. I was thankful Esme and I never had to remove our own and found myself wondering how the other two couples managed without those symbols of their love. I needed to keep Esme with me at all times.

Alice had smiled in return and the returned to watching her siblings. I was proud of Edward and Rosalie, both for their proficiency, but also for their willingness to share their passion for music with each other. I had thought nothing could bring me more joy that to listen to them play individually, but together the music they produced was nothing less than heavenly.

Rosalie smirked and I watched as Edward nodded his head to whatever she had obviously inquired mentally. Though I did not believe it was possible, I felt my smile grow further when they launched into 'Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring," one of my favorite piano pieces. Rosalie had taken to playing this for me in her younger years, but it had been decades since I'd heard the piece played. It was joyous to behold the two of them at the piano, watching their hands move fluidly and their smiles to each other.

I was immeasurably glad for the eidetic memory of vampires at that moment because I never wanted to forget the scene in front of me for the rest of my share of eternity. So perfect was the view, it would have brought me to tears if that were possible. I reached down and placed my hand on my beloved's shoulder and delighted when her own snaked up to rest across mine.

I smiled down at Bella resting in Emmett's arms and knew at that moment, my family would never be complete until it included that brave human girl. She saw what we could not and lead us through a path we were too blind to notice for ourselves. I was glad to see the whole family emerge on the other side without any lasting damage, and was more than pleased to see the unavoidable injuries already beginning to heal. We would continue to mend and I had no doubt that we would be stronger for the struggle.

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**_EPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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When Rosalie, Alice and Bella returned, I immediately swept my beloved into an embrace while addressing Rosalie.

"I was thinking we should show off our skills to the family. What do you say, Rose?"

She laughed before replying, "I can do anything better than you."

We chucked at the inside joke while Bella and Alice looked on in confusion. Alice pulled Bella from my arms telling her that she needed to talk to Jasper and then go see Emmett. I was stunned that I wasn't even the slightest bit apprehensive at what my brothers could need with my Bella.

Rosalie followed me down to the music room and soon enough the rest of the family followed, Carlisle and Esme first, followed by Alice and Jasper, their arms liked, and then my beloved riding piggyback on Emmett, who was laughing at her giggles. He settled on the chaise after pulling her forward to sit in his lap and I smiled when I watched her cuddle up next to him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Bella was well and truly part of the family and I could have kicked myself for ever trying to separate her from them.

I felt Rosalie nudge me with her elbow before she tapped out the theme from "Anything You Can Do." I chuckled softly.

"Why don't we impress them with some Mozart, before we whip out the show tunes?" I suggested.

She nodded and we let loose a complicated concerto that had everyone watching in amazement. We sounded as though we had been playing together for years, our counter melodies and harmonies coming together seamlessly. I was beginning to wonder if Rosalie really would be better than me with a little more practice and then found that I didn't really care if she was. I was just enjoying playing with her.

I heard her mentally ask if I wanted to play something special for Carlisle and I nodded my assent when I discovered the piece she had in mind. It was perfectly fitting for the current setting. Again, we harmonized beautifully and I found myself smiling all the while. I didn't even need Jasper's ability to see that everyone radiated contentment. He and Alice had obviously resolved their problems and I was glad to see my brother enjoying himself and participating fully in a family activity.

I found myself once again thankful that Bella had forced our hands last weekend. She had revitalized our family and rekindled our love for each other. She had shown us what we had been missing all along and refused to allow us to hide behind our created roles. She was truly amazing and I sent up a prayer of thanks to whatever deity was willing to listen, expressing my gratitude for bestowing such an angel on me. I would never again have to content myself with solitude. I had Bella now and I finally understood how incomplete I would be without her. She was the other half of me in every way and I needed her, as my family needed her. Without her, we could not be whole.

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**_BPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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After my little chat with Jasper, Emmett had taken me off to the living room and presented me with the cutest bear charm for my bracelet. If Emmett were a bear, it was exactly what I imagined he would look like. Once it was attached, he slung me onto his back and proceeded to carry me piggyback down to the music room where the rest of the family awaited our arrival. I smiled at Rosalie and Edward seated at the piano bench, happy they were finally getting along.

Emmett settled down with me in his lap and I let out a sigh of happiness when I felt Esme begin to comb through the tangles in my hair. I was awoken the other night sandwiched between her and Carlisle, who were sitting on either side of me in Edward's bed. I was amazed that I didn't feel embarrassed, but rather that I curled closer to the woman who would soon become my mother and fell peacefully back to sleep. It felt so nice to feel so loved and protected when I slept, even in the absence of Edward. I awoke the next morning feeling more rested than I had in months.

I fingered the bear charm as I peered around at my vampire family. I had been so sure when Rosalie broke down that I had ruined their family forever, but I was pleased to see the results of my meddling now. They all looked happier and lighter just because they were finally being honest with each other. I hoped they would not go back to their created roles when they once again had to interact with the rest of human society. They needed to remember who they were even when they had to act otherwise. I would make sure they never forgot what was reality and what was created again. They were too important to me and soon they would be the only family I had.

More so than ever, I was proud to watch Rosalie. She had come so far in such a short amount of time. She had finally embraced fully what I had been trying to convince her all of last weekend. Now, it looked like she believed she would be whole again, and based on her actions, I knew she was already far along the way to that end. She looked happier, laughed more and seemed more content with her lot in life than I'd ever seen.

She and Alice appeared to have finally mended the last tear in their relationship and I was glad to see them coming to appreciate each other, as they always should have. I had never seen her interact with Edward and I was more than pleased to see him return her affections fully. They had always had so much in common, but they were both just to stubborn to see it. Now, they had finally found common ground though music and I had a feeling impromptu concerts like the one tonight were going to become more and more frequent throughout the years. It was obvious that everyone took pleasure in just being together as a family and I was bound and determined to support anything thing I could that allowed us to all sit and enjoy each other's company. I allowed myself to believe fully for the first time since their return that they were well and truly back in my life and that they would never allow me to be separated from them ever again.

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**_RPOV- Tuesday July 2_  
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Edward and I played for the family for hours, running through pieces by Mozart, Chopin, and Beethoven, before choosing our favorite show tunes and then allowing for requests. We laughed and teased and just enjoyed our time together. I watched my family as we played and was delighted with what I saw.

A far cry from that dreadful night last week when everyone looked haggard and hurt, my family all sat around the piano with smiles on their faces embracing those they loved. I watching as Emmett and Bella cuddled, never feeling at any moment jealous of her. I was glad she was able to take comfort from my big bear of a husband and even more glad that he was content to sit and hold her for hours. Emmett never sat still long, but here in the presence of our whole family, his restlessness was gone and he just drank in the moment.

I felt myself slowly coming back together. Bella had taken me down from the shelf, dusted me off and mended my tears. She had shown my family how precious she thought I was and they in turn had agreed and shown me how they valued me. A week ago, I was convinced I was the weak link of my family. I was sure that at any moment they would toss me aside, leaving me to fend for myself without a second glance. Now, I was assured of their love and I felt no need to question their intentions.

My family loved me and cherished me. They would protect me when I needed to be protected, support me when I needed to be supported and stand behind me when I needed to face my own battles. I looked out and saw that not only had Bella helped me to find my place, she had done so for everyone else including herself.

Carlisle was our leader and while he would make mistakes, we would all look to him for guidance because we trusted that he had our best interests at heart. Esme was our mother and she would always love us, no matter our actions and would welcome us back home whenever we wished to return. Edward was the glue that held us all together because he had seen all of us come into the family and had brought to us the last piece, Bella. Emmett was the big brother who was always willing to make some one laugh, hold them as they cried and show his love in any manner possible. Alice reminded us that no matter what happened in the past, we could always look forward to a bright future together. Jasper protected us from outside threats and showed us that efforts often outshine success. Bella, of course, was the missing piece to our puzzle. She took us apart and put us back together again, exposing our flaws and helping us to fix them so we were now a united whole.

This was my family. We weren't perfect and we had problems, but here in the fading light of the day, where before I would have seen nothing but the flaws, I could delight in the beauty that surrounded me. In finding our places we had rediscovered each other once again and nothing would tear us apart.

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**A/N: Well people, that is officially the end. I hope you enjoyed this story. I had a great deal of fun writing it. But, there are several more chapters, including one dedicated to thanking all of those who have really supported this story from the beginning and those who have joined the bandwagon along the way, and several outtakes. **

**I never intended to take this story mast the 10,000-word mark and I find myself stunned that it is now over 100,000 words. For me, the end of this fic marks a bittersweet moment. I am thrilled to have completed my work, but also saddened that there is no more. **

**Thank you again for supporting this fic, reading it either all at once, or following along as the chapters progressed. I think I have caught the rest of the lingering grammatical mistakes, but please, if you find one, send me a PM and let me know so I can fix it. **

**A huge thank you for all the kind reviews I have received over the entirety of this story. Whether long or short, each was a true treasure. **

**Please review! It would mean the world to me! So many of you have added this fic to your favorites, and I would love to hear from you. ^_^**


	14. Author's Note Thank You and Chronology

**Hello dearest readers! I wanted to take this opportunity to thank those of you who have reviewed, added this story to your favorites or alert or done the same with myself as an author. It is incredible to have seen this story grow from a following of a few individuals to the 40,000+ hits fic that it is today. I never in my wildest imagination dreamed it would come to this. Thank you though, from the bottom of my heart. It means the world to me that you took the time to read this story.**

** This fic has been added to nearly 300 author's favorites list, which is astounding to me. I wish I could take the time to thank each of your personally, but I hope you know that I do appreciate the support.**

**This fic could never have reached where it is today without the support and encouragement you all have shown. Thank you for all you have done. I have grown as a writer with your help and I am so thankful to have had to opportunity to share one of my passions with you. You all have truly made the difference.**

**As always, thank you for reading!**

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**For those of you who have been wondering, here is the chronology of the events that took place during this fanfiction and events from _New Moon_, _Eclipse_ and _Breaking Dawn_ to help you keep it all straight. Events for FMP are in bold.**

**2006  
**

**MARCH:**

March 16 (Thursday)- Bella jumps off the cliff/ Alice returns

March 18 (Saturday)- Bella and Alice leave for Italy

March 20 (Monday)- Bella and Alice rescue Edward

March 21 (Tuesday)- Bella, Alice and Edward return from Italy

March 22 (Wednesday)- Bella's mortality put to a vote

**APRIL:**

**MAY:**

May 14 (Monday)- Bella reads about trouble in Seattle in the newspaper

May 18 (Friday)- Bella and Edward leave for Florida

May 21 (Monday)- Bella finds out Victoria has been in Forks

May 31 (Thursday)- Rosalie's story/ **Bella's nightmare**

**JUNE:  
**

June 1 (Friday)- Jacob breaks Bella out of school

June 2 (Saturday)- Discovery of Bella's vampire visitor

June 3 (Sunday)- Werewolf bonfire

June 4 (Monday)- Alice announces graduation party

June 5 (Tuesday)- Jasper's story

June 6 (Wednesday)- Alice insists on having the graduation party

June 7 (Thursday)- 1st day of finals

June 8 (Friday)- 2nd day of finals

June 11 (Monday)- Graduation/ Party/ Bella receives her charm bracelet/ Battle Training 1

June 12 (Tuesday)- Battle Training 2

June 13 (Wednesday)- Bella and Edward officially engaged

June 14 (Thursday)- Night before battle with Victoria

June 15 (Friday)- Battle with Victoria

June 16 (Saturday)- Plans made with Alice about Wedding/ Charlie told about engagement

June 21 (Thursday)- **Baseball game**

June 22 (Friday)- **Hunting Trip Begins/Bella gets sick/ Rose breaks down**

June 23 (Saturday)-** Bella and Rose bond/ Carlisle returns with popsicles**

June 24 (Sunday)-** Bella, Rose and Carlisle bond (will eventually be an outtake)**

June 25 (Monday)- **Cullens return/ Family discussion/ Emmett-Rosalie scene/ Edward-Rosalie scene/ Emmett begins to build arbor**

June 26 (Tuesday)- **Bella returns home for the morning/ Alice-Edward scene/ Rosalie-Bella scene**

June 27 (Wednesday)- **Alice-Rosalie scene**

**JULY:  
**

July 2 (Tuesday)- **Shopping trip to Olympia/ Emmett-Esme scene/ Jasper-Carlisle scene/ family piano concert**

July 11 (Thursday)- **Rosalie's retrospective**

**AUGUST:**

August 13 (Sunday)- Wedding**  
**

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**A/N: I hope this helps everyone keep all the action straight. All the chapters after this are extra scenes. I hope you enjoy them. Please leave a review!  
**


	15. Bonus: Outtake 1

**A/N- I thought I might give all of you a treat for being such dedicated and fabulous readers.**

**There were two "scenes" left out of Find My Place: Bella's perspective of the first several chapters, and Alice's visions and the hunting trip. **

**This chapter represents the first bit of the missing Bella scenes. I didn't want to incorporate them into the story, because it is Rosalie's voice that needs to stand out most. But, all the same, I thought you all might enjoy these little outtakes from the story.**

**I wanted to keep all of Bella's POV in one chapter, but, it's taking much longer than anticipated to do the events justice, so I thought I would give you this little tidbit while I work on the rest. Eventually, all of Bella's POV will appear as a long one chapter outtake, but for now, I will post it as several chapters as I finish them.**

**I hope you all enjoy and thank you again for all your support.**

**Please, take the time to leave a review.**

**Thanks for reading! ^_^**

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**~*!*~  
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BPOV

I was experiencing déjà vu. I knew I had done this before and I shuddered at the memory. I only hoped this time I wouldn't end up in a hospital when everything was said and done. I really didn't want to experience everything again, but I did want to erase the memory of that night with this one. I was determined to enjoy myself, no matter how dismal the weather.

I checked the news this morning; it was going to be hot and dry in Phoenix, but not so hot that people couldn't be outside. Forks, as always, would be wet and miserable– today more so than usual. A huge storm was rolling in. I knew the boys down in La Push would be enjoying the swells before the water was too choppy to surf.

I should have been inside, but here I stood, my hair already starting to fly away from the humidity caused by the light, but persistent, drizzle. I already felt soggy and I hadn't been outside for more than a few minutes. No place should be this wet and green; it was unnatural. Then again, most of my world was unnatural at this point, so I suppose I shouldn't expect anything more from the weather.

Ha. I laughed to myself. That should have been my first tip off that all was not right in Forks. Not Edward's strange behavior or his inexplicable strength and speed. No, the bizarre weather should have cemented the supernatural nature of this town in my head. Then again, nothing seemed too out of the ordinary for me anymore. I really was expecting for Angela to tell me she was a witch any day now.

It would have been the perfect day to curl up in the arms of my vampire boyfriend and watch a movie or read a book. But it would be quite awhile before I felt dry again today.

Edward wore my favorite crooked grin as he adjusted my ponytail to settle my hat in place.

"You look just about perfect," he smirked.

I couldn't help but sigh at the comment. Just about perfect was as perfect as I was going to get until he changed me, but I didn't want to ruin his good mood with my sour thoughts.

It seemed I managed to anyway. Gone was the crooked grin. He looked at me with disapproval and exasperation now.

"Bella," he chided gently, "I just meant that your ensemble is, as of yet, incomplete."

"Well hand it over then," I replied, cringing slightly with curiosity and a bit of fear burning within me. Anything to do with what I was wearing had something to do with Alice, and Alice, as I well knew, had a penchant for going overboard.

A devious sort of glint returned to his eye.

"You'll have to wait for the rest. You'd be uncomfortable wearing it until we get there."

Visions of stiletto cleats, chiffon uniforms, and bedazzled mitts filled my imagination. If anyone could over accessorize baseball, it would be Alice. I shuddered a little at the thought and Edward chuckled at my antics, making me wonder if he couldn't see into my mind after all.

Glad to be spared from whichever torture trap she decided to squeeze me into this time for at least a few more minutes, I climbed onto Edward's back with as much grace as I could muster.

I bit back a squeal of surprise as he bolted into the forest. I also forced back the habitual shudder that occurred every time I thought about Edward and this forest. That wound, it seemed, still had not healed completely and at this point, I wasn't sure it was going to.

He dodged the trees nimbly, going so fast it made my head spin, but I kept my eyes open, if for no other reason than to cement myself into this reality. This is real. This is real. This is real. I kept chanting to myself, afraid that if I let my mantra stop for even a moment, it would all turn out to be another dream turned nightmare.

I battled with my insecurities and my nausea for the ten minutes it took Edward to reach the baseball clearing. I knew he wasn't running full speed, probably for my benefit, but my idiocy in keeping my eyes open the whole time made itself known when I felt myself pale as we reached an abrupt stop. I managed to avoid reacquainting myself with my lunch and wobbled only a little more than usual as I dismounted, forcing myself not to laugh as I imagined Edward as a horse, and catching Jasper's curious gaze as he felt my amusement.

Leaving Edward to his pre-game preparations, what should be called harassing his brothers, I made my way over to an overly excited Alice. She looked like a kindergartener hopped up on pixie sticks, but I held my hand out dutifully for whatever death trap she saw fit to subject me to this time.

My jaw dropped in reaction to the garments she produced.

"Do close your mouth, Bella. You look like the cod Emmett tried to eat that one time when we visited North Carolina," chimed Alice.

I barely caught Emmett's shudder in my peripheral vision, and paid him little attention.

I just continued to stare in disbelief at the entirely too bulky, but seemingly normal rain suit. Granted, it was blue and black to match their uniforms with a striking white "C" emblazoned over the left chest, but for Alice it was so tame. I shifted my eyes back to her, narrowing them at her innocent expression. There was a trick to this; there had to be. This was Alice after all.

"Oh honestly, Bella. You can't be unprepared in weather like this. Now put those on before you catch cold."

Too shocked to do anything but listen to her instructions, I obediently donned my rain suit, immediately grateful for its protection. Alice continued to bounce all the while, making me a bit jumpy, so I trotted over to home plate where Esme embraced me with loving arms, smiling at me as if I were her own daughter. I smiled in return, taking my place behind her after Alice announced the start of the game.

The teams had changed a bit and I wondered how Edward would do paired with the sibling he fought with the most. I didn't have much time to mull it over. Jasper let loose a wildly unexpected pitch, but Rosalie seemed to nail it as though she knew it was coming. The crack hurt my ears and Rosalie tore off around the bases as Carlisle attempted to retrieve her impressive hit.

She was little more than a white and blond blur as she slid into home, but she made it there before the ball. I was relieved that I could call her safe, even more so when I noticed the death glare she was giving me. She dusted herself off, sauntering over to go stand by Edward as Alice readied herself.

The weather continued to grow more dismal– the rain turning into a veritable downpour by the time Rosalie batted again. I felt sopping wet from head to toe, but I was having the time of my life watching my vampire family let loose and get covered in mud. Even Carlisle, who seemed to be a model of decorum, slide into home, toppling over Esme, covering her mostly pristine uniform and hair in mud, offering no apology save for a tender kiss. I blushed at such a show of affection, turning away to give them a moment of privacy.

I apparently my averted gaze was unnecessary. I heard the distinct squelching sound of mud coming into contact with something solid. Esme, in playful retribution, had scooped up a handful of mud and nailed Carlisle in the back of the head as he returned to his spot next to Emmett. I chuckled as I watched the amorphous blob slide down his blond hair and get trapped by his collar.

Emmett looked as though he was thinking of having a similar mud war with Rosalie, but a sharp glare from her dimmed the maniacal twinkle in his eye rather quickly. She really didn't need any help. White was probably not the best choice of color today, and from the look on her face, it appeared like she at least partially agreed.

I would have toppled to the ground if Esme hadn't caught me when Alice's excited little trill of a laugh pierced the silence suddenly.

"Alright! Shopping! We'll get new uniforms for everyone. Bella doesn't have one yet."

I rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm, wondering who had just made a decision that led Alice to have a vision about shopping. My money was on Rosalie, but I wisely kept my mouth shut, even when I wanted to do nothing more than groan. I didn't need a uniform. It would be a waste since I never did anything but stand behind Esme, and once I was a vampire, I wasn't going to be in any sort of shape to play baseball for a while.

I would have gladly stood in that clearing and been drenched for hours more just to spend time with my vampire family, but my frail human nature thwarted me again.

"I really ought to get Bella home before she catches a cold," I heard Edward tell Esme, and I suppressed a sigh at the thought of having to be parted from them so soon.

"Go ahead, dear. We'll gather the equipment and meet you back at the house."

Esme, it seemed, felt the same as Edward about the frailty of my health. I was hoping to watch them play more. Still, I didn't want to act like a petulant child just because I didn't get my way, so I walked over to Edward who was looking at me with poorly veiled concern.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry so much. You act like I am going to catch pneumonia and die at any moment."

He grimaced, but helped me onto my position on his back before hurtling through the forest once again. I assumed he would drop me by my house, but as the run began to take longer than the one here, I noticed we were headed in the direction of the Cullen's house.

"I'm not going home?" I questioned.

"No, the game ended too soon and Esme felt like she was cheated out of time with you. Besides, I'd much prefer spending as much time with you as possible before we leave for the hunting trip tomorrow."

I smiled at his admission, but was glad that he couldn't see that my smile didn't quite reach my eyes. This was not the first time he had to leave me to go hunting, but I felt the hole in my chest flare regardless. I managed not to tense my muscles and give myself away, but I had a feeling he knew I was uneasy about his impending absence anyway.

He ran in silence for the rest of the trip, depositing me carefully in the garage before darting around the side of the house to enter his room from the window. I sighed, exasperated by his excessive modesty, as I began to strip off the soggy, mud-covered layers. I would have been horrified to track mud through Esme's beautiful house. So, I checked myself three times before I even thought about setting foot on the white carpeting.

Knowing Edward would be using his bathroom, and feeling more than a little flush at the idea of him unclothed so very close to me, I didn't bother going upstairs. I shook my head in an attempt to regain control of my raging hormones and proceeded to the guest bathroom on the first floor.

In any normal house, this would have been nicer than the master bathroom, but here at the Cullens' it was probably the least lavish. Still, the floor and walls were covered in handsome marble, with beautiful faucets and fixtures gleaming in the soft light. Esme was truly talented.

A pile of fresh clothing rested on the vanity; Alice must have put them there before she left for the game, knowing I would need them when I got back. Her talent was so convenient sometimes.

I let my mind wander as I washed away the mud and shampooed my hair. It was still early, but I felt the telltale rumble in my stomach. I would have to make something to eat when I finished showering. I knew the rest of the family had to be home by now and I began to wonder just how big the water heater was in this house to have a sufficient supply to run eight showers simultaneously.

I blushed beet red when I realized Edward and I were probably the only people showering alone. I supposed that would cut down on water usage. Before I allowed my mind to wander any further into the gutter, I turned off the water and wrapped myself in the lovely, fluffy grey towel.

I went about my after shower routine, combing out my hair and the like before twisting it up in another towel and getting dressed. Alice had laid out some fairly comfortable track pants and a plain black stretch cotton shirt. Still, I knew the whole ensemble probably cost more than I made in a week. I dressed, making sure not to think about how much it all cost before padding down the hallway to the living room.

I heard the sound of pots clanking together and found Esme in the kitchen, freshly showered, but still looking stunningly perfect.

"Alice said you might be hungry, dear. Would spaghetti be alright?" she offered sweetly.

"Spaghetti sounds amazing, Esme. Thank you."

"You're welcome, dear. Now go run along."

"Can't I help?" I pleaded, feeling guilty that she was cooking me dinner when it must have smelled atrocious to her.

"You can keep me company if you like," she offered.

"Can I watch too, Mom?" Alice chimed in behind me.

I watched as a beautiful smile bloomed on Esme's face when Alice called her mom. Alice grabbed my hand and led me over to the breakfast bar where she gracefully perched herself on one of the stools. I followed suit, though with far less poise.

I was determined to enjoy all the time I could now, before they both left me tomorrow. I chided myself for acting like it was the end of the world, but it made me so very nervous to have so many of them away for so long. I was afraid, no matter how absurdly, that they wouldn't come back.

"We'll be back before you know it, Bella. I have so much shopping to catch up on with you. Your wardrobe needs some serious help."

"My clothes are fine, Alice," I growled at her, playfully, but still serious.

We chatted aimlessly as Esme diced vegetables for the sauce, adding in crushed tomatoes and seasonings. Every so often she would bring me a spoonful to taste, the worry on her face evident until I told her it was perfect. And it was. I still couldn't believe how well Esme could cook for someone who couldn't taste what she was making.

More than an hour had passed before I knew it. Esme gracefully dished up the fresh pasta, smothering it with sauce and shavings of Parmesan cheese, just like I liked it. It took everything I had in me not to groan in appreciation after the first bite.

"Is it alright, Bella?" she questioned anxiously.

I had to remember my manners and not talk with my mouth full of food. I swallowed and then answered.

"It's absolutely amazing, Esme. Thank you."

"Oh you're welcome, dear. You girls enjoy. I am going to see what your father is up to."

The offhanded nature of her statement made me smile. I was well and truly part of Esme's family. She made no distinction between Alice and myself. I was beginning to feel like I belonged again. Like the horrible months had just been a bad dream. I had my best friend back and was reunited with my love. Emmett treated me like I was the long lost little sister he'd always wanted. Jasper was still wary of me, but I couldn't really blame him. Carlisle acted as though I were one of his own. It was Rosalie who stood out most now.

As Alice chattered away at me about upcoming fashion shows and the newest designers, I allowed my mind to wander to Rosalie. When everyone left tomorrow, I would return to Charlie's for the afternoon, and then spend the next few days bonding with Rosalie. Alice had pulled out all the stops to make it work, but I was more than a little nervous about spending so much time with the vampire that liked me least. Still, I was going to make an effort because I knew I needed Rosalie as much as anyone else. I needed someone who wasn't going to sugar coat everything, but still protect me when I needed it.

Before I could finish my meal, Rosalie finally made an appearance. She was heartbreakingly beautiful, as always, and as always, I felt more than a little insecure in her presence. I noticed her frown in our direction, but knew better than to comment. I just enjoyed my time with Alice.

She continued to babble, and every so often, out of habit of playing human, she would breathe and I would have a chance to say something. This pattern continued for several hours; the others paired off, some reading, some watching TV, and in the case of Edward and Jasper, taunting each other over a game of chess. If I thought watching Edward and Alice play was fascinating, it was nothing compared to Edward and Jasper.

By 10 o'clock, I had a craving for chocolate chip cookies; I knew better than to ask Esme to use the kitchen. She wouldn't mind, and as soon as I asked, she would end up leaving her comfortable position in Carlisle's lap to cook for me. I didn't want that. She should be able to sit back and relax. I was more than capable of making my own dessert.

"Chocolate chip cookies? I've never seen those made," Alice mentioned in between her fashion rant.

"It's not hard. You could help me."

I watched her tilt her head to the side, her eyes unfocusing and her body stilling. It took little more than a few seconds before the light returned to her eyes. She caught my gaze and immediately burst into giggles.

"I think," she laughed, "you might want me to sit this one out. Unless of course you relish the thought of food poisoning or crunchy cookies."

I preferred my cookies to be on the softer side, but I didn't understand why Alice thought crunchy cookies would be so bad. I didn't even have a chance to ask her before she took to explaining.

"Honestly, with such poor directions, I am amazed what you cook ever turns out right. If they wanted the eggs to be cracked it should specify that in the recipe," she griped.

Now it was my turn to giggle. I could just imagine Alice putting a whole egg into the bowl, stirring bits of shell into the cookie dough. I didn't even want to imagine what she could do to give me food poisoning.

"Um, yeah. Maybe I'll just make these myself. Oh, they'd be good with hot chocolate."

I saw Alice surrender to a vision again, and this time she just smiled with a twinkle in her eye.

"It looks like I can make hot chocolate with out causing you irreparable harm," she tittered as she waltzed over to the fridge to grab the milk and then rummaged through the cabinet for the absolutely delicious hot chocolate mix.

Esme had ordered it from Switzerland, and while I didn't normally approve of the Cullens over indulgence, this was by far the best hot chocolate I'd ever tasted. Unlike the powdered mix I was used to, this hot chocolate mix was made of tiny flakes of chocolate that melted into the hot milk. It was so delicious that I couldn't complain.

A short half hour later I was sitting back on my bar stool laughing as Alice told me stories of the family over the years while I munched happily on my cookies and tried to make my hot chocolate last as long as possible.

I felt my eyes growing heavy, but I forced them to stay open. I would loose too much time with them if I went to sleep. The battle was futile and before I knew it, I was desperately trying to stifle a yawn. I don't know why I bothered. It wasn't like that was something I could hide in a house full of vampires.

Edward was in the kitchen in a flash and Alice had my dishes in the sink before I even had time to blink. I yawned again, much louder this time, as I walked up the stairs, hand and hand with Edward. Feeling more than comfortable in what I was wearing, I made no move to change into any pajamas, opting instead to crawl into the completely and unnecessarily lavish bed, snuggling under the gold coverlet while Edward fiddled with his stereo.

He climbed into bed with me as the soft strains of my lullaby ended my last efforts to remain awake. I felt so tired and I couldn't understand why. I wanted to tell him not to go tomorrow, but I couldn't be that selfish. He needed to hunt and he needed to spend time with his family and I wouldn't let my insecurities ruin that for him.

I did burrow closer in his embrace, needing to feel him as much as possible. I needed that physical reminder to keep the nightmares away. It didn't always work, but I was determined to keep my bad dreams at bay tonight. He wouldn't go tomorrow if he knew how worried I was, and my nightmares would betray me if I wasn't careful.

The last thing I remembered as I drifted off into a surprisingly peaceful sleep was the feeling of Edward's hands running soothingly through my hair and the sound of his voice as he whispered his love for me.

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**A/N- Well, that is your first installment. The next one will give you more insight into how Rosalie comes to find Bella on the bathroom floor, and how Bella sees Rosalie during their heart to heart. I should be a lot of fun to write.**

**I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Love some love if you have time.**

**Thanks for reading! ^_^**


	16. Bonus: Outtake 2

**A/N: I know. I haven't updated in forever and most of you have probably forgotten what this story is even about. I do apologize for that, but in my defense, graduate school takes up all my time. I barely read fanfiction, much less had time to write any.**

**This outtake from Bella's perspective picks up where the last one left off. The content goes through the end of chapter two. I will be working on another outtake for chapters three through hopefully six tomorrow, also in Bella's POV. Then the final outtake will be Alice's POV from the time the family leaves through the time they return and she lashes out at Bella.**

**I am hoping to have all of those outtakes written by the end of next week as a treat for those of you who have been waiting so patiently.**

**Also, I am about to begin editing this whole piece of fanfiction for submission to Twilighted. If there are any particular bits you would like to see cut, changed, extended, etc. please let me know. I don't want to cut out anyone's favorite part, nor do I want to keep any sections that seem particularly unimportant or uninteresting.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and please leave a review.**

**Thanks for reading! ^_^**

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_**BPOV**_

I felt like I was in a fog. I just couldn't seem to make myself wake up. Something was playing with my hair, and the sensation was so soothing that it would lull me back under just when I thought I was going to wake.

I sighed and snuggled back into what felt like a wall of ice. Where others would have let out a yelp and jumped away, I sought to get as close as possible. I never wanted to wake up. I knew that once I did I would have to face the fact that Edward was leaving me. Granted, it was for a hunting trip, but he was leaving me nonetheless and the hole in my chest was already flaring uncomfortably.

I heard something that sounded like music, but the sound just kept repeating over and over again. I tried desperately to stay asleep, but eventually the musical sound became more distinct and I recognized it at Edward's voice.

"Bella. Bella love. It's time to wake up."

I tried to bite back my sigh of frustration, but it escaped. I heard Edward chuckle before I felt him leaning over me.

He pressed soft cold kisses to my eyelids, both of my cheeks and the end of my nose before claiming my mouth. Gently, he coaxed me from my slumber. When he pulled away, I finally opened my eyes and gasped at his magnificence. I should have been used to the sight of Edward by now, but every now and then I was still stunned by his beauty.

"It's after nine, love. When did you want to be back at Charlie's?" he questioned.

I sighed again, unhappy that it was so late, and even more so because my time with Edward was quickly coming to an end.

I must have looked particularly miserable because he quickly gathered me in his arms and held me close. I inhaled his sweet scent greedily and buried my head into the crook of his neck, relishing in the feeling of his icy skin.

"I don't have to go love. I can stay here with you," he told me sincerely, but with such pain in his voice.

I sighed again before answering, knowing I was being a baby about this whole thing, but not being able to help it.

"No, Edward. You need to hunt. I'll be fine. Between my chores and spending the weekend with Rosalie, I might not even have time to miss you."

That last part was a complete lie and we both knew it. I was missing Edward already and he hadn't even left yet, but he desperately needed to hunt. His eyes had been pitch black for days and no amount of concealer would have masked the dark purple bruises under his eyes.

He didn't lose that pained expression, but he nodded in agreement. I took a little comfort in the fact that he seemed as reluctant to leave me as I was the see him go. I snuggled a little closer, clinging to him for a minute more before I wriggled free of his arms.

He looked a little stunned that I had willingly vacated my favorite spot, but I knew that I must have had horrendous morning breath because I'd never brushed my teeth last night. Feeling more than a little self-conscious, I just smiled and made my way to his bathroom for my human moment.

His eyes followed my movement and when he figured out my intended destination, he let out a little chuckle.

"While you have your human moment, I am going to go make you some breakfast. Do you have any requests?"

I felt my eyes soften at his thoughtfulness, though his offer shouldn't have surprised me.

"No, just make what ever you think I'd like, please."

I gave him one more lingering look before entering the bathroom and closing the door. I had only intended to brush my teeth and run my fingers through my hair to make it look less like a haystack. But, I caught sight of the reflection of the shower in the mirror and immediately wanted to luxuriate under the hot water for a while. My muscles were feeling a bit sore and my head felt a bit stuffy. I also felt unreasonably tired considering how long I had slept. I knew a hot shower would help.

But then again, I wanted to spend as much time with Edward as possible and showering would cut into that time. Plus, I could shower when I got home and that would help keep me distracted. I had almost talked myself out of the shower when a light rapping sounded at the door.

"Bella," I heard Alice's distinct trill, "I've brought you some clothes to wear after your shower."

By the time I opened the door, Alice was nowhere to be found, but a pile of folded clothing rested just in front of the threshold. I gathered the pile in my arms, noting with pleasure that for the second day in a row, Alice had actually picked clothes I thought were comfortable.

I was about to breakout in a little dance of celebration, figuring I had finally worn her down. Then I realized that Alice knew how reluctant I was for everyone to be gone this weekend, and how stressed it was making me. She'd probably seen me dissolving into tears or throwing a fit if she'd tried to force me into more fashionable outfits.

My celebratory feelings deflated almost immediately and the hole in my chest flared suddenly. I grabbed onto the doorframe to steady myself and then decided that I really needed that shower after all.

I didn't linger long, just enough for my muscles to lose some of their stiffness and for my head to clear. I felt so much better when I stepped out and a billowing cloud of steam surrounded me, wafting the smell of strawberries around the bathroom. I quickly ran a brush through my hair and pulled it back into a low ponytail before dressing and throwing my clothes into the hamper. Normally, I was unwilling to leave dirty clothes here, not wanting to put Esme out, but since she was going to be gone, and I would be here all weekend, I figured I could find time to do my own laundry.

The house seemed eerily quiet and I felt my heart rate start to pick up. Surely they wouldn't have left before I finished my human moments. I could feel the blood draining from my face and my hands begin to shake as I descended the stairs. I trudged toward the kitchen, fearing that all I would find was a steaming plate of breakfast without a single vampire to be seen.

The breath that had been caught in my throat sounded unbearably loud as I finally released it upon walking into the kitchen. Esme and Carlisle, who had been gazing out the window at the lingering dew that glittered on the grass and Alice, perched atop the same stool she'd been sitting on last night, immediately turned to face me. I saw Esme's eyes tighten, and Alice's normally smiling mouth turn down into a small frown. I knew that my hands were still shaking and that my heart was still thundering in my chest. Before they could comment, I turned away from them, searching for Edward.

He was wearing a kiss the chef apron and was busy at the stove scrambling some eggs, presumably for my breakfast. Deciding to take his apron seriously, I walked over to him, stumbling a little over my own feet and pressed a sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth before resting my head on his shoulder.

"How does scrambled eggs and toast sound for breakfast, love?" He asked.

I didn't respond verbally; I just nodded my head against his shoulder. He chuckled and planted a kiss on the top of my head before shooing me to go sit next to Alice.

A minute later he placed the best-looking eggs and toast I'd ever seen in front of me with a tall glass of milk. I ate slowly, hoping to prolong my time with all of them. If they knew what I was doing, they never let on, continuing to allow me to eat my breakfast at a snail's pace.

Forty-five minutes later I knew my actions had already passed ridiculous. I sighed and moved to grab my plate and cup so I could wash them. Esme flashed to my side and had the dishes resting in the sink before I could even blink. She turned and smiled at me before turning on the water and began washing them.

I wanted to be irritated, but I was too anxious for my body to even process another emotion. Alice leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"We'll be back before you know it, Bella. A few days at the most."

Despite the cheerful tone of her voice, I did not feel comforted. I leaned again Edward, who had come to stand behind me, trying to will myself not to cry. They were all coming back. They _were_ coming back in a few days. Just a few days.

While my inner pep squad tried to convince me to not have a breakdown, Edward pulled me closer still and stroked my hair softly and rhythmically. I hadn't even noticed my breathing had become unsteady until I felt it slowing with each stroke of his hand.

I peaked up at him through my lashes and almost cringed at the pained expression on his face. Deciding to spare both of us another discussion as to whether or not he should go, I hugged him close and then hopped off the stool, making my way to the front door to retrieve my keys so I could go home.

The longer I waited the more my resolve was going to waiver and I knew I couldn't be here to watch him leave. I would just crumple into a ball and start sobbing the moment I couldn't see him anymore. No. I wouldn't let that happen. I would put my ridiculous feelings aside and kiss him goodbye like a normal girlfriend.

I smiled and waved goodbye to Esme, Carlisle and Alice before I walked out of the kitchen. Edward, of course, followed me as I grabbed my keys and made my way out to my truck. I pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth again, and then moved to open the door.

Edward turned me quickly so my back was pressed against the door and then proceeded to kiss me until I was weak in the knees. He pulled away from my mouth, but pulled me close, hugging me tight to his icy cold body.

"Soon love," he crooned, "We'll be back very soon."

I nodded against his chest, inhaling deeply, as if I were trying to memorize his scent. He released me a moment later. I didn't trust myself to speak. I could feel the tears burning in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I gave him one last smile before turning my back to him and climbing into my truck.

The engine rumbled uncertainly before roaring to life. I saw Edward wince and then scowl at the sound. A short laugh that was vaguely reminiscent of a sob escaped my mouth, but before he could comment, I threw my truck into drive and began to make my way down the driveway. I saw Edward waving halfheartedly in my rearview mirror until I rounded the bend and the foliage of the trees hid him from my sight.

Only when I had reached the highway did I allow myself to let a few tears escape. They ran miserably down my face for a few minutes before I forced myself to stop. Honestly, they were coming back in a few days and I wasn't some love sick pre-teen who just got rejected by her first crush. Still, the hole in my chest throbbed uncomfortably. I knew I needed to distract myself, and soon.

My truck sputtered a little as I pulled into the driveway of Charlie's house. His cruiser was still here, so he hadn't left for his fishing trip yet. This was the first time he was going fishing without Harry and I was worried that he wouldn't go without a little encouragement.

When I entered the house, I couldn't see him anywhere.

"Hey Dad," I called, "I'm going to do the laundry so if you want something to get washed, make sure you throw it in the hamper."

I heard an answering grunt, which I interpreted as Charlie agreeing. I made my way into the kitchen, pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't in totally disarray. I made up some dishwater and began the process of slowly and methodically cleaning each dish. I lost myself in the task and I was so glad to have that distraction.

Charlie pounded down the stairs about ten minutes later, looking a little wary.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you this weekend, Bells?" he questioned, "I ran into that Newton boy in town yesterday and he told me the Cullens were going camping this weekend."

Charlie was just looking for an excuse to not go fishing, but I knew that he needed to go.

"No dad. It's fine. You need to replenish our dwindling stock of fish," I said as I opened to freezer to demonstrate that we only had less than a month's supply. "And anyway, not all of the Cullens are going camping."

Charlie frowned at this, no doubt assuming that it was Edward who was staying behind. I even heard him grumble a little. Before he could come up with another excuse to stay home I quickly added, "Rosalie is staying; she and I were going to spend some time together."

"Rosalie, hmmm. Well, uh, have fun, and I guess I'll see you when I get back, kid."

Charlie was never one for drawn out good byes. He pulled me into an awkward side hug before grabbing his hat and pole and heading out the front door. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding when I heard the cruiser pull out of the drive. I was glad to be left to my own devises for a little while.

I glanced at the clock. It was just past 11:30 so I decided to put a load of clothes in the washing machine before I made myself some lunch. An hour later, I had the dark clothes swishing away and I was sitting down to a nice spinach salad and turkey sandwich. I ate slowly, trying not to look at the clock.

I was more nervous than I wanted to admit about spending the weekend with Rosalie. She'd seemed every bit as wary yesterday after the baseball game. I was hoping that maybe we'd find something in common, something that would make her hate me a little less. I knew from her story that she was really hoping I was just wake up one day and decide that I wanted to stay human, but I just couldn't do it. Maybe, just maybe, I could get her to see my side.

Thinking about this upcoming weekend made my head start to pound. I rummaged around in the medicine cabinet and took a Tylenol. My muscles were beginning to ache again, but I just chalked that up to carrying what seemed to be a mountain of laundry downstairs.

Between loads, I straightened the kitchen and living room. I even cleaned my bedroom. I knew was supposed to be back over at the Cullens at six, so by four o'clock I threw in the last load I planned on doing today and then made my way back upstairs to start packing. I figured I could catch a quick nap if I packed fast enough. Maybe that would help me feel less out of sorts.

I grabbed an empty bag from the bottom of my closet, but when I went to stand up again, I felt a little dizzy. I laughed to myself, figuring I had just stood up to fast, but when I tried to take a step I felt even more disoriented. I closed my eyes and sagged against the closet for a minute. I felt a little better, but I decided to go splash some cool water on my face. My cell phone was sitting my on desk and on instinct I grabbed it on my way to the bathroom.

I staggered down the hall, the pounding in my head increasing with each step. By the time I made it to the bathroom, I felt sticky, like I had just run a marathon, and my hands had started to tremble again. I steadied myself on the counter, placing my phone next to my hand, before looking into the mirror.

I gasped at the sight. I looked terrible. My face was ashen except for the feverish pink staining my cheeks. Carefully, I reached up and felt my forehead; I was so hot I wondered briefly if maybe I was turning into a werewolf too. I laughed at myself again for the idiocy of my thoughts.

I reached for the cup I always kept in the bathroom and I filled it with cold water. When I set the cup down, I accidentally knocked my phone off the counter and it skidded across the floor. Forgetting my vertigo, I whipped around to grab it, intending to call Rosalie and see if we could start our bonding weekend in the morning when I didn't feel like I was going to pass out at any moment. I figured I'd be right as rain after a good night's sleep. Suddenly, the whole world seemed to tip on its axis. The last thing I remember was seeing the blue stripes of the shower curtain blur together.

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It could have been minutes, hours or days, but eventually, I felt myself wake up even though I couldn't remember going to sleep. My brain felt foggy, and I wondered if everything before this point was just a dream. I was resting on something cold and hard, so maybe I was still in bed with Edward. It took me a few moments to realize that I cuddled into Edward; I didn't sleep on top of him. So then why was the icy wall below me?

I blinked, my vision as hazy and unfocused as my mind. I could see tile and my phone just a little more than a yard away. Again, it took my brain a few minutes to process but I figured out that I must have fainted at some point when I was in the bathroom. I willed my limbs to move, for my arm to reach out an grab the phone, but it felt like my appendages were made of led. After five minutes of concerted effort, I had only managed to wriggle six inches closer to my phone. It was still out of reach.

I had no idea what time it was. I could just imagine Rosalie fuming if it was already after six. While thinking about her inevitable fury, I became away of an odd rasping, hissing sound, and my body immediately went into fight or flight mode. My head was too heavy to move, but it sounded like something dangerous was very close to me. Surely Rosalie wouldn't have come here to kill me because I was late. As my panic began to increase, the sound came faster and faster, and got louder and louder until it rang in my ears.

As black dots swam before my eyes, I finally realized I was hearing the sound of my own wheezing breathing. That realization offered little comfort as I thought of what I had said to Edward yesterday. Maybe I was going to die of pneumonia after all. It would be just my luck to die alone in my bathroom with Edward far away and with only Rosalie in town. Given her feelings on the subject, I knew she would rather see me die of an illness than supposedly damn me for all eternity by making me a vampire. As that realization took hold, I began to hyperventilate even faster. The black dots merged together and once again I fell unconscious.

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When I came to, I wanted to laugh. This was the third time today I'd woken in a fog, but everything hurt too much to even think about laughing long. I didn't bother trying to focus my eyes. I could still feel the tile so I knew I was in the bathroom. I let myself drift in and out of conscious thought. I didn't even have the strength to be angry at my predicament.

There were only three possible outcomes. Charlie would realize he'd forgotten something and come home to get it, checking on me while he was here. But that didn't seem very probable. Charlie would likely just do without what he'd forgotten, and even if he did come home, he wouldn't check for me because I'd told him I was going to the Cullens.

The second option was that I would just wait here until Charlie or Edward got back from their trips. I hoped that would not be the case because I didn't think I could just lie on the bathroom floor for two days without some seriously adverse health effects.

The third option was that Rosalie would come looking for me when I didn't show up. But again, this option only worked if she even cared that I never came. She might just decide to ignore me and then I would be stuck with option two.

As I was musing over these options, I began to hear a bell-like sound. It was so pleasant and I was content to just sit and listen until I felt a cool hand stroke my forehead. I willed my eyes to move and focus on the blond and blue blurry blob that was dominating my field of vision.

As my vision sharpened, I was shocked to see a very worried-looking Rosalie staring down at me.

I tried to say 'Rosalie,' but all that came out was a weak and pitiful sounding 'Rose.' I hoped she wouldn't be offended by my use of her nickname. Rosalie and I were not comfortable enough with each other for me to feel I had the right to address her so informally.

"Bella, what happened?" she questioned me.

I tried to think of a coherent answer but my head began to throb again. I could see my focus slipping and my breathing got heavier as I tried to answer her. I had to pause often to relate everything that had happened after I left her house this morning.

"I was getting ready for tonight. I felt fine this morning and before Charlie left, but I tried to pick up my book bag to pack and I started to feel dizzy. I came in here to see if water would help, but I felt even worse and I think I must have blacked out. I don't remember falling. I tried to get my phone to call you, but it's too far to reach."

My explanation sounded weak even to me. My breathing was becoming even more labored now that I had spoken so much. I could feel my muscles quivering. I was shocked when Rosalie gathered me in her arms. If I had been feeling well, I would have cringed away, knowing she was not my biggest fan. Feeling as I was though, I just fell limp in her arms. I was too tired and sore to even tense my muscles.

Gingerly, she walked me out of the house, pausing to grab my keys and lock the door before laying me down in the back seat of her convertible. My vision had cleared enough to see that she was frowning as she climbed into the driver's seat. Hoping that an apology would make her less angry, I struggled to get one out as she pulled out of the driveway.

I tried to say, "I'm sorry, Rosalie. This wasn't how our weekend was supposed to start," but I could hear my voice slurring many of the words and I didn't know if she understood any of it.

She just sighed her response, "Oh, Bella. Let's just get you to Carlisle."

I was in no condition to protest. I felt so tired and weak. I was also confused. I thought Carlisle was going on the hunting trip. Maybe Rosalie had called him before she found me. The pounding in my head prevented me from thinking any more.

I felt the convertible slowing to a stop and heard Rosalie cut the engine so I figured we must have made it back to the Cullen's house. As gently as she had placed me in the car, Rosalie helped me out. I was a little shocked to see that she had brought me to the hospital and a little irritated as well. Didn't she know I hated the hospital?

"I am going to see you on your feet," she instructed, "and I need you to look like you are walking."

Still feeling a little irritated that she'd brought me here, and with my mind still in a fog I stared at her with confusion etched over my face. She'd been carrying me up until this point and I really didn't think my muscles were going to hold me up.

"Rosalie?" I asked, "I don't know that I can stand. Why can't you just carry me?"

Then it was her turn to look confused, but confusion turned quickly into concern and her frown deepened.

"Bella," she explained without even chiding, "I can't just walk in carrying you. There is no way I should be able to pick you up."

I immediately felt embarrassed, but also glad that my cheeks were so enflamed with fever that she couldn't see me blush. I also knew her patience was probably wearing thin.

"Of course, I don't want to cause trouble," I mumbled as I tried to pull away, "Just let me go and I'll make it to the waiting room."

She continued to hold on to me, even as I used all of what remained of my strength to try to wriggle free.

"Bella, just stop," she ordered, now with exasperation laced into her tone. "I'm not going to let you collapse while walking into the hospital. Just make it look like you are walking. I am going to support all of your weight."

She hauled me to her side, and I leaned heavily against her, knowing I would have already fallen over if not for her help. I knew I needed to stop fighting her and just let the doctors diagnose me so I could go home and be out of her hair. Out of all the vampires I knew who weren't actively trying to kill me, I knew Rosalie was the least inclined to have to take care of a sick human. Even Jasper could have just sat in the opposite end of the house and sent waves of soothing emotions.

Rosalie drug me along at a pace I imagined was infuriatingly slow for her. She lowered me into a chair and I couldn't help my head falling to one side. I just didn't have the strength to hold it up. As she walked away, the pain that had been just a dull ache all over my body got sharper, especially in my stomach and my head. I managed to pull myself into the ball that had held me together during my dark months. I was reluctant to resume this position, but I hoped that if I made myself as small as possible the pain wouldn't seem so bad.

I couldn't help the whimpers escaping my mouth nor the strangled groan that resulted from a particularly sharp stab in my stomach. I knew I was likely to be violently ill very shortly.

Apparently Rosalie had returned because she asked, "Bella, what's wrong?"

I grimaced and answered while whimpering, "Everything hurts." The stab in my stomach grew sharper and I warned, "And I feel like I am going to be sick."

Whether for her own preservation or for my sake, Rosalie grabbed the nearest trashcan and shoved it into my waiting hands just in time. I lost track of how many times I heaved, but regardless of the number, none of them brought an ease to my pain. When it appeared that I was done being sick, Rosalie grabbed the can and gave it to a passing orderly who didn't even look phased by the contents.

I leaned over and held my head between my knees hoping that the position would offer some relief. I felt traitor tears streaming down my face. I wasn't one to get sick often, but when I did, it was usually fairly bad, taking at least a week for me to feel well again. I hated feeling this weak. My tears began to drip off my cheeks and leave wet spots on the floor.

Now, I just wanted Edward to be here so he could hold me close while I recovered, but he wouldn't even be here until the weekend as over. I wanted his cold body to soothe away my fever. As if she had heard my internal request, Rosalie gripped my shoulder in one hand and turned my head toward her with the other.

I knew I must have looked horrific, but her hand felt so nice against my skin as she wiped away the tears. She started to take her hand away, but I grabbed her wrist and pressed her hand back on my temple.

"Bella?" She said my name like it was a question, wanting me to explain my actions.

"I feel so hot, can you just leave it there? Please?" I was not above begging at this point. Thankfully, she did not pull away again and I took comfort from her icy hand.

Time seemed to slug by, but eventually Carlisle came to kneel before me. Apparently, he had stayed behind to work an extra shift. After coming to this realization, I felt far less disgruntled at Rosalie for having brought me to the hospital. She couldn't help that Carlisle was here and not home. And honestly, I should be grateful that he was here at all.

He began to gently poke and prod at me. Shining lights in my eyes and feeling the glands in my neck while he asked, "Rosalie, what has happened to her?"

I didn't bother listening to Rosalie's answer. I was just so glad Carlisle was here. If I were really bad off, he would change me if he needed to. I wouldn't have to live or rather die without Edward.

Apparently Carlisle was satisfied with whatever answer Rosalie gave him because he gathered me up in his arms as she had not too long before. I tried to get as close to his cold skin as possible, hoping it would soothe the intense heat that was raging through me. He must have guessed my intentions because he held me close, much closer than he would for any other patient.

Rosalie followed our procession into an examination room, looking very out of sorts. She was frowning again, but this time I knew it wasn't at me.

Carlisle continued his assessment, taking my temperature, blood pressure, and my noting the rate of my pulse. He didn't seem overly concerned so I knew whatever was making me feel like I had been run over by my truck was not life threatening.

He began to speak to Rosalie, giving her what I believed was his diagnosis, but she was still off in her own little world. I jumped a little when he called her name sharply to regain her attention.

She also jumped and then looked at him with a very haunted expression, as though she was expecting him to tell her to go and never come back.

"Rosalie, honestly I need you to focus," Carlisle chided her. He began explaining to her what she needed to do to take care of me. I zoned out, enjoying the feeling of Carlisle's thumb as it stroked lightly over my forehead. I don't think he even realized he was doing it.

Rosalie still didn't say anything and Carlisle called her attention again, sounding as close to exasperated as I'd ever heard him when he asked, "Can you handle this or do I need to call the family back from the hunting trip? It isn't anything you shouldn't be able to handle, but if you don't want to, I am sure the family would return."

For a split second Rosalie looked like she wanted to take him up on the offer, but she replied, "No, it's fine, Carlisle. I can take care of Bella until everyone gets back in a few days. Just hand me her medication and I'll take her home."

I was a little shocked by her response and so was Carlisle apparently, since he gave her an odd look as if to make sure it was actually his daughter standing in front of him.

"I'll carry her out," he announced before gathering me in his arms again. He was broader than Edward, but the feeling of being in his arms was similar enough that I let myself imagine that it was Edward holding me. That brought a bit of comfort and made me feel slightly better.

Rosalie just stood there, looking confused and like she wanted to cry, until Carlisle called, "Come along, Rosalie."

I watched her trot along behind us. She never once looked at me and her posture made her look like she had been defeated. I was so confused. Was she so unhappy at the prospect of taking care of me? Or was there something else going on?

As gently as Rosalie, Carlisle placed me in the back seat and then turned to address her.

"I am trusting you to take care of her, Rosalie," he warned, "Her body cant take much more before she'll have to put in the hospital for intensive care. I can pull some strings if need be to take care of her myself, but I have faith that you can do this if you put some of your feelings aside."

I watched feeling very concerned as I saw Rosalie flinch from Carlisle's words. He didn't even seem to notice, but I could tell something was very wrong with Rosalie and it had everything to do with something Carlisle had said.

Trying to spare her any more hurt I told Carlisle, a bit more brazenly than I would have normally, "Don't worry about us. I know Rosalie will take care of me, and so should you. We'll be fine, won't we, Rosalie?"

Her responding 'yes' sounded convincing, but as soon as Carlisle was out of sight, she sighed wearily and all but sank into her seat. I could see her eyes in the rearview mirror and she looked like she was going to breakdown at any minute. I spent the whole ride back to the Cullen's house wondering what had caused such a change in the usually unflappable Rosalie.

When she pulled into the drive, I could tell that she was still distracted and that taking care of me was the last thing she needed right now. She carried me robotically into the house and up the stairs. I knew she was very distracted when she brought me to her room instead of Edward's.

"Rosalie, you don't have to do this," I said, trying to let her off the hook. "I am feeling so much better."

I had intended to say more, but a coughing fit tore through me and then Rosalie replied, "Bella, please, you aren't in any sort of condition to take care of yourself. Just rest and I'll go get you a glass of water."

She placed me on the bed and left before I could say anything else. The covers were silk and felt wonderful against my overheated skin. I curled up at the foot and within less than a minute I was fast asleep.

It was completely dark when Rosalie shook my shoulder to rouse me.

"Bella, I know you're tired, but you need to take these," she said while holding out a few small while pills. "And you need to finish this glass of water. We'll try to get some food in you in a few hours."

I didn't even blink as I threw the pills in my mouth and gulped down some water. Rosalie still looked torn and distracted.

"Rosalie, are you sure you don't mind taking care of me?" I probed, "I don't want to be a bother."

"Bella, for the last time, you can't take care of yourself, so you are going to have to let me do it."

Her irritated reply made me repentant: "I'm sorry. I'm just not used to people taking care of me. I'm so used to acting like the parent; it feels strange to be taken care of."

She sighed as she responded, "It's fine, Bella. Don't apologize for being sick. We shouldn't have kept you out in that weather yesterday. Now, finish your water and then you can go back to sleep."

Since she really didn't seem too put out by having to take care of me, I decided to risk it and ask her what was really the matter. I was honestly curious.

"Well, if you really don't mind taking care of me, then what is bothering you? You've been so distracted since Carlisle took me into the examination room."

Rosalie looked at me like a deer caught in someone's headlights. She didn't answer; she just kept staring at me in shock, so I continued, "Rosalie? Are you going to tell me what's wrong? Or are you just going to stare at me all night? We're supposed to be bonding anyway, so we might as well talk."

I hoped to coax her into speaking. Maybe if could help her, she would find some part of me that she actually liked.

"Bella," she tried to distract me, "You really need to rest. Just finish your water. I'm fine."

I didn't for one second believe her, and I was starting to get really worried. I could see Rosalie beginning to crack before my very eyes and I knew she desperately needed someone to talk to. I was the only one available, and even though she still scared me more often than not, I was determined to be there for her.

"Fine," I agreed, "But once I wake up, we are going to talk about whatever is bothering you. We're family now, or close enough anyway, and that is what you do in a family. You help each other when something is wrong."

I hoped this tactic would be effective. I knew Rosalie valued her family above all else, so maybe if she could see me as a little sister, instead of a nuisance of a human, she might feel comfortable opening up.

"Alright, Bella," she attempted to placate me, but I was on to her tactics. "We'll talk about it after you've had some sleep and something to eat."

In a surprisingly maternal gesture, Rosalie tucked a blanket around me before turning out the light and leaving me to rest. As I drifted off to sleep, I tried to imagine what could have made Rosalie so upset and distracted. I couldn't seem to figure out what was wrong, but I still felt at peace as I imagined piano music swirling around me. I knew I was dreaming, because Edward was hunting, so there wasn't anyone to play it. Still, I allowed myself to enjoy the soft music as it floated around me.

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**A/N: Well, I hoped you all enjoyed this little outtake from Bella's POV. It makes and interesting foil to Rosalie's POV, or at least I'd like to think so. I am going to begin the last outtake from Bella's POV tomorrow, and hopefully will either have that posted tomorrow night or on Wednesday.  
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**Please take a minute to leave a review and/or send me a PM so I know which parts of Find My Place you want changed or kept as I begin the major edit.**

**As always, thanks for reading! ^_^**


	17. Bonus: Outtake 3

* For those of you who received an alert for a new chapter, the new chapter is actually at the beginning. If you've read The Nightmare or The Nightmare: Bella's Dream, then much of the information will not be new for you. You will only need to read the first bit in Rosalie's perspective.

**A/N: All right dedicated readers. Here is the third installment of the outtakes for FMP. This outtake actually takes you through the action of chapter six. As some of you may remember, chapter seven already opens with Bella's perspective, so for now I am ending the outtakes from her perspective. Check out the A/N at the end for some more options as to what I write next. I'm leaving it up to all of you.  
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**The dream Bella talks about in the first few paragraphs is the dream she has in _The Nightmare_. If you are of age (it's rated M), I suggest you take a moment to read the additional one-shot to the Nightmare entitled _The Nightmare: Bella's Dream_ so what she says makes a little more sense.  
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**Please, take a moment to review and to send a PM if there are any particular bits you would like to see cut, changed, extended, etc. as I edit the whole story for submission to Twilighted. I am trying to decide if I want to incorporate these outtakes or, if I want to leave the story as is, and just leave them out. Let me know if you have an opinion either way.**

**As always, thanks for reading and please review! ^_^**

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_**BPOV**_

The piano music in my dreams had started off soothing but it morphed into something that reminded me of the music they play in houses of mirrors or during movies when something tragic befalls a character. It repeated over and over again and just when I thought I really was going crazy, it stopped.

I continued to dream, seeing myself in the meadow with Edward. The dream was oddly reminiscent of the nightmare I'd had a few weeks ago, but so far everything was still bright and happy. I began to hear an odd sort of muffled ripping noise. I was immediately frightened that this dream was about to morph into that same nightmare, but my dream Edward pulled me closer and began humming my lullaby to drown out the noise.

He'd hummed the melody a few times when the muffled ripping grew loud enough for me to recognize it as sobbing: heart-wrenching, utterly broken sobbing. I put my finger to Edward's lips to silence him, listening intently. When the sobbing failed to stop, I scrambled to my feet, determined to discover the source of it.

My dream Edward looked at me in confusion, but watched as I looked around the meadow, trying to figure out who was sobbing. I wandered to and fro, but I couldn't see anyone. A particularly piercing cry of anguish tore through the meadow and instantly the scenery changed.

I was back in the alley with Rosalie. The men were gone, but she was on the ground clutching at her bloodied and bruised body as she cried out from the torture she'd endured. Before I could even reach out to her, I woke up, probably as a result of my mind not wanting to watch her disappear again.

I expected that the sobbing would have ceased as soon as I opened my eyes, but it just grew louder and more distinct. It was at that moment that I realized it _was_ Rosalie crying, somewhere in the house, with such force that I could hear it from her bedroom.

I was immediately assaulted by a desire to comfort her and protect her from whatever was hurting her. Her sobs reminded me too much of the strangled sounds that had erupted from my own throat during my dark months and in the waiting room in Volterra.

I uncurled myself from the cocoon I'd been wrapped in, but kept one blanket pulled around my shoulders because for the first time all day, I was actually feeling a little chilled. I was hoping that meant my fever had broken. I began a slow and slightly painful trek through the house to find Rosalie. My muscles were still sore and I felt even unsteadier on my feet than usual.

After searching the living room, dining room, kitchen, and all the other bedrooms, I was worried I was never going to find Rosalie. I even checked in the garage, knowing full well I wouldn't have been able to hear her sobs if she had been in there, but not knowing were else to look.

As a last resort I pushed open the door to the music room and had to swallow the gasp that threatened to break free. Crumpled over the piano, one hand gripping her hair and the other curled around her waist, sat Rosalie, sobbing uncontrollably.

The sight was so heart wrenching I felt tears spring to my eyes. Her wailing sounded like she'd just found out Emmett had been dismembered by the Volturi and thrown in a fire. I shuddered at the thought. Something had shattered Rosalie's world and it was abundantly clear to me that she had no idea how to weather the storm of her emotions.

The desire to comfort her was so overwhelming that my feet moved of their own accord. Before I could even interpret my own motions, I had moved my hand to run through her hair, hoping the action could provide some measure of relief.

I wasn't surprised when she whipped around to face me, but I was shocked by the utter defenselessness on her face. I had never seen Rosalie so unguarded before and one look into her eyes told me she'd never felt so isolated and scared. Like a frightened animal, she looked ready to bolt at the slightest movement.

Just as quickly as she spun, I saw her try to compose the mask of indifference I'd always seen her wearing. The effort would have been comical if she hadn't been so upset.

As though I was on autopilot, I spoke before I had time to even think about what I was saying.

"Oh Rose, just let it out," I pleaded, "You've been holding it all in too long. Don't try to fight it anymore."

I was momentarily stunned by the force of the renewed sobs, which made her whole frame shudder as they forced themselves out of her body. Rosalie began to curl inward again, but before she could get lost in the tidal wave of emotions, I weakly grabbed her arm and tried to tug her over to the chaise lounge. I could feel the little strength I had fading quickly, and I knew it would be counterproductive to what I was trying to achieve if I just dropped to the floor like a fly.

After a few pitiful tugs, Rosalie finally met my eyes and I pointed to the chaise. She seemed to understand the implied meaning and followed me wearily, shoulders slumped and feet dragging slightly.

She just stared at me with unfocused, glassy eyes as I settled in the corner and pulled the blanket tight around my body. She might have stood there for hours if I had not motioned for her to sit next to me. I was a little stunned as she basically crumpled into the seat, looking like a broken doll.

I really had no experience consoling emotionally overwrought people, so I imagined what Esme or my mom, on one of her less scatter brained days, would do in a situation like this. I smiled a little as an idea came to me. Rosalie felt boneless as I maneuvered her head to rest in my lap. Her face was turned away from me, so I was afraid to catch her off guard again, but she didn't even flinch when I began to run my fingers through her hair. She did, however, continue to fill the air with her piercing wails.

"Shhhhhh, Rose. Shhhhhh," I attempted to coo, hoping that would calm her down, even if only a little.

I continued to rhythmically stroke her hair and murmur to her for the better part of an hour as she cried in my lap. Eventually, she began to quiet, her breath only catching every so often as the sobs grew fainter and less frequent. When it seemed she had completely regained control of her emotions, she did stiffen a little.

I watched as she extracted herself from my lap and then tried to smooth her clothing and hair with trembling hands, never once looking at me. Before she could rebuild her cold façade, I reached up to grab her hands. After an emotional breakdown like the one Rosalie had just had, she needed to talk to someone, desperately and immediately.

"No, Rosalie. Don't put those walls back up. Don't hide from me. Tell me what's wrong. What has you so upset?" I asked genuinely concerned.

She turned toward me slowly, trying desperately not to look at me. She attempted to keep her eyes locked on something just above my head, but her eyes always returned to mine.

In a pitiful imitation of the cold tone in which she usually spoke to me she said, "Leave it be, Bella. It isn't any of your concern."

I felt my anger flare. Wasn't my concern? What did she mean it wasn't my concern? She'd been crying for probably hours before I found her, and then she spent another hour crying in my lap. Of course it was my concern.

And seriously, where did all these vampires get off being so sanctimonious about deciding what was and wasn't my concern? As demonstrated by the less than stellar fall and winter I'd just experienced, deciding for me was obviously not the best option. They all kept telling me I was part of the family, but I was more than little disgruntled that they still felt I shouldn't be in on certain information. Well, they could forget that. If I was going to be part of the family, I wanted to be a full member. Plus, I was always prone to imagining the situation was much worse when they left me in the dark, so really, it was in everyone's best interest to just be open and honest with me at all times.

And anyway, if Edward had his way, Rosalie would be my sister legally before the end of the summer. But more than that, because of the information she'd shared with me and the nightmare I'd had, I felt very protective of her. I'd been fooled by her stunning beauty and acerbic personality, but I'd recently come to realize that she wasn't so sure of herself after all. She needed a champion, and by either hell or high water, I was going to be that champion, even if only for tonight.

Mustering every bit of strength and courage, because honestly, even when she was shattered to pieces, Rosalie still sort of scared me, I shouted at her, "Like hell it isn't my concern! You're my sister. I am sick and tired of everyone in this family telling me what is and isn't my concern. No! No more stalling. Just tell me, Rosalie."

Her eyes locked with mine, widening either at my tone or what I said, maybe even both, and two words I never expected came tumbling out of her mouth in the softest whisper.

"I'm broken."

I was so confused. What did she mean she was broken?

"Rosalie? I don't understand."

She made no effort to answer me. She just stood there with conflict clearly evident on her face. It was almost like I could see the internal battle she was waging with herself. I don't even know that she was aware that her eyes were darting from my face to the door and back again. As her body began to lean toward her intended escape route, I decided to try again.

"Just start at the beginning, Rosalie. We'll go from there."

I kept my eyes locked on hers, and whether it was my unwavering gaze or what I had said, something touched Rosalie and words began to tumble from her mouth, almost sounding like they were tripping over each other to be heard.

"I'm broken and I don't know that anyone can fix me. Even if they could, I don't know that they'd want to. I cause so many problems and no one ever stops to listen to my opinions. They are all so sure I am wrong. I don't belong here. I don't have a place. I think they only kept me because Carlisle feels so guilty for turning me. I never asked for this and I know I can never have what I want. I try to hold everything in, to protect everyone from how unhappy I am. They all love being vampires and they love each other. All I do is ruin everything. I just get so overwhelmed by how much was taken from me, knowing I can't ever be whole, that I can't deal with it. So I lash out, and I upset everyone. I don't know how to fix it.

"I am such a disappointment to the family. I am bitter and hateful most of the time. I know I am and I'm sorry, but I just can't get past my frustration. And now you are here, and it's just making everything worse. It wasn't so bad before when everyone was worried about Edward. The spotlight wasn't on me, but now he's found you and that just throws how flawed I am into full relief. You're everything I was supposed to be in the family- the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect everything. You've already cemented your place, but even after almost a century, mine is tenuous at best. They are going to change you, and you are going to be so perfect, so much better than me, that they are going to realize they don't need me anymore. You're taking my place, and no one seems to care. Alice likes you better than me. Edward would gladly sacrifice me for you. Carlisle and Esme already consider you their daughter. You and Jasper have so much in common that once you can be close, he'll like you better. Even Emmett will be happier once you're really part of the family. No one will choose me when they can pick you.

"It isn't my fault I am like this. No one ever asked me what I wanted. Not Royce, not Carlisle. I just wanted a family and now when I finally felt like maybe I could have that, not the way I wanted, but a family nonetheless, it is all being taken away again. I can't take anymore. Everyone is tired of me and I have to stand alone against my family because I don't want this for you. I don't want you to regret being changed in ten or twenty years because you finally realize you want a family. No one should have to feel this way. No one should be this shattered. I'm broken and no one wants to fix me because I am not worth it."

I was shocked, for more reasons than one. Rosalie honestly believed that she was replaceable, and more than that, that her family wanted to replace her, and with me of all people. And beyond being replaced, she actually felt like the broken doll I'd compared her to an hour before.

I was so angry at the rest of the Cullens for never seeing this side of her, particularly at Emmett, who as her husband should have known, at Edward, who at some point in the more than seventy years they'd spent together should have picked these thoughts out of her mind, and at Jasper, who should have been able to feel his twin's anguish. How could they have missed something so huge? People don't just have horrendous emotional breakdowns for no reason. Rosalie's had obviously been a long time coming.

My anger made the tears that had been swimming in my eyes drip down my cheeks, leaving salty trails in their wake.

I should have done a better job of concealing my fury when I demanded, "Rosalie, look at me. Turn around and look at me," as she tried to flee the room.

She did stop, flinching as she did so, but she made no motion to turn around. That flinch made my anger flare higher. Rosalie, who before today barely acknowledged my existence, who, only when forced, would actually interact with me, was afraid of what I was going to say. She was afraid that I was going to tell her she was broken, and that she should stay that way. Rosalie was afraid of me, and I didn't like it.

Her posture, her tone, even the look in her eyes bore too much of a resemblance to what I looked like last fall, just after their departure. I had been that shattered, and I knew no one, and especially not Rosalie who had already been shattered once in her life, deserved to feel that way. I was going to fix this, even if I had to fight and force her all the way.

"Rosalie, I wont ask again," I demanded, "Turn around right now and look at me."

I nearly cried when she slogged over to me. When she was a few steps away, I motioned for her to kneel on the floor in front of me. I needed to be able to look her dead in the eye. As she settled at my feet, I actually grasped her head in my hands and forced her to meet my gaze. I wanted to make sure she heard what I was about to say and that she could see that I was sincere.

My voice was raspy from overuse and my illness, but I continued to speak long after the pain had become sharp and insistent.

"I want you to listen and listen well to what I am about to say, Rosalie. First of all, you may be damaged, but you are not broken and you are certainly not irreparable. The last moments of your human life were horrific. Your innocence, your hopes and your dreams were all cruelly torn from you and anyone who does not allow you to grieve for what you have lost is not worth your time.

"No one in this family is disappointed in you because of how you've reacted to your past. They are disappointed because they can't find a way to help you. You are invaluable. You were Esme's first daughter, and as such, you will always hold a special place in her heart that no one else can ever fill. You taught Carlisle a lesson in humility, making him carefully consider his actions to avoid playing god. He regrets changing you because you are unhappy, but he is also glad he changed you because you keep Edward balanced and you make Emmett so happy. You and Jasper may only pretend to be twins, but you two are so connected that you may as well have been twins in your human lives. You are the only one in this family that can appreciate his struggle because you have your own equally challenging struggle. I know you feel like Alice prefers me, but she really just wants to avoid causing you more pain. She is so content being a vampire; she doesn't want to taunt you with her happiness, knowing how much you want to be human.

"Your family needs you. You fight for them; you protect them; and most importantly, you love them. The Cullens aren't the Cullens with out you. You say that you feel as though you don't fit, like you can't find your place, but you have one, whether or not you can see it. Carlisle is the patriarch- Esme, the matriarch. They are the loving parents who dote on their children and rejoice in their family. Edward is the "first born" son who can do no wrong. Emmett is the jokester and the big brother. Alice is the lovable little pixie who keeps us all in style. Jasper uses his talent to understand us, always providing a shoulder to cry on when we can't handle our problems alone. And then there is you, Rosalie. You remind your family just how precious humanity is. You show them why it is important to maintain the human façade, because it isn't really a façade at all. You, more than anyone else, appreciate what it is to be human, and you inspire them to show the same level of awareness. You keep your family grounded, because with out you, they would not know the true value of humanity. Without your emphasis on those qualities that denote humanity, your family would not and could not exist. You show them what it is to suffer, what it is to love despite anguish, what it is to be a part of a family. You are not heartless. You suffer alone so that your family can be happy. You love them more than you love yourself, and I never want you to believe anything else.

"I could never replace you and I would never want to. I need you. You are the sister I've always needed, but never had. I've never had anyone take care of me, not really. Edward protects me, but that isn't the same thing. I understand now that you never really disapproved of me because you didn't like me. That was never the problem. At first you wanted to protect your family, and then you wanted to ensure I didn't suffer. I'm sorry you felt like an outsider in your family just because you wanted to save me from your pain. I am even more sorry that they didn't recognize what you were doing and that they sided against you, making you feel unwanted and unloved. You and I have agreed to disagree on my becoming a vampire, but I want you to know that I did listen to what you said, and I did think about it long and hard. I know what a struggle this has been for you. I know what you were forced to give up.

"I grew up without what I would really consider a family. My parents divorced early and I never really had a chance to be a child. I took care of my mom, making sure the bills were paid, keeping food in the house and even when I came to live with Charlie I was much more of a parent to him than he was to me. I have been the parent, and now I am enjoying being one of the children for once. For the first time, with your family, I feel like I don't have to take care of anything. I have siblings who are looking out for me, and parents that act like parents. But until I am a vampire, I am never really going to be part of the family. I can't play baseball, I can't be close to Jasper, and I am so very limited in comparison to all of you. I have been given the choice, and I choose all of you, because for once, I feel like I might actually have found where I belong, where I fit.

"But, I need you to feel like you fit too, because I won't take anything else away from you. You need to see that you are wanted and needed and that no one can take your place. You are a beloved daughter, an adored wife and a treasured sibling. You are Rosalie Lillian Hale and no one can ever replace you. You are beautiful not only on the outside, but inside as well, because you value humanity and you inspire others to do the same.

"It may not be today, or tomorrow, but someday, you are going to be whole again, because you are too strong to ever let anything defeat you, and you are too important to your family and to me for us to let you stay broken. You don't have to stand alone anymore, Rosalie."

I watched her face with fascination all through my tirade and I was pleased to see the light that had been missing in her eyes gradually return. I could see my words slowly sinking in. I could see her start to believe what I was saying, and understand even what I didn't verbalize. I was on Rosalie's side, a place she probably never expected me to be given our past history, but I was there nonetheless. Someone finally needed to hear what she had to say and someone needed to stick up for her because she could no longer do it for herself.

Where Jacob had been my sun, I was hoping to be Rosalie's star. She didn't need the warmth I had so desperately craved, but she did need guidance and the knowledge that at least one person wasn't going to leave her alone and forgotten.

Suddenly, she threw herself at my lap, albeit without enough force to actually hurt me. I was little concerned when I heard her begin sobbing again, but I could tell there was something different this time. The sobs didn't sound hopeless. My suspicions were confirmed when I heard Rosalie let out a little chuckle and I just laughed along with her.

Somewhere in the last twenty minutes Rosalie and I had bonded without even realizing it. Through shared pain we'd finally really begun to see each other and I hoped that this moment would be the start of a long friendship.

When she finally stopped crying, she looked up at me with the most brilliant smile I'd ever seen on her face. She was radiant and I couldn't help but share in her joy. I smiled back and we just sat there grinning for a few minutes, relishing in our newfound bond.

Of course, then I had to go and ruin the moment with a horrendous sounding coughing fit. Rosalie's eyes tightened, but once I had quieted a bit she spoke for the first time since her breakdown.

"Thank you. I have been lost for so long. I didn't think I was ever going to find my way back. You saved me from myself and helped me find my place. I'll never be able to repay you."

Unlike in the car ride back from the airport after my adventure in Italy, Rosalie's voice was not stilted at all. Her tone was warm and sincere and I was touched and a little overwhelmed by it. I had to wait for my coughing to end, but I responded, "You're welcome, Rosalie."

It seemed such an insufficient reply to her expression of gratitude, but I didn't think I could manage anything more without setting off another coughing fit. I could feel that distinct tickle in my throat.

"Now," she said, sounding much happier than earlier, but with a bit of concern laced in, "let's get you back to bed. Do you think you can keep down some chicken soup?"

I nodded eagerly, not noticing until then how absolutely famished I was. Chicken soup sounded amazing. Rosalie scooped me up, and only then did I realize how weak I was as well. My muscles were still so sore, and since I had nothing in my system but some water and medication, I had nothing left for my body to use to function.

Rosalie tucked me in under a huge blanket pile, and I snuggled down into the warmth. Having her so close to me for so long had left me even colder than I had been when I left this room. She flitted off downstairs, and I could just make out the sound of her rattling around something in the kitchen.

It didn't take long before the smell of Esme's homemade chicken soup wafted up the stairs. As I savored the scent, something occurred to me.

I wasn't imagining that piano music in my dream after all. Edward had told me once that Rosalie could play piano too, and I was a little ashamed to admit it had taken me this long to put that information together with what I had heard when I was asleep and where I had found Rosalie. She'd been the one playing. I wondered if she got as much enjoyment and pleasure out of it as Edward did. I decided there was only one way to find out.

"Rosalie?" I called out, knowing she could hear me, "Would it be too much trouble for me to eat in the music room while you played?"

I figured if she didn't want to, she could always come up with some excuse for not playing. I wasn't going to force her.

And apparently, I wasn't going to have to. Before I could blink twice she ran upstairs with a huge smile on her face.

"No, it's no trouble at all."

She gathered my huge blanket pile and me and sprinted me back to the chaise lounge before dashing back to the kitchen for my soup. While I sat, happily slurping away at the most amazing chicken soup ever to be made, Rosalie settled herself at the piano bench. Her posture, a far cry from what it had been the last time she sat there, was absolutely perfect and I waited for her to begin.

"Is there anything in particular you want to hear me play?" she asked.

I smiled at the thoughtfulness, but really, I was hoping she would get more out of this than I would.

"No, Rose, you just play whatever makes you happy."

She mused for a few seconds before delicately bringing forth the first chords of "Canon in D." It was a beautiful and breathtaking sight to watch her play. I saw the Rosalie I was sure only Emmett and maybe Esme had seen. She was positively glowing with happiness and I decided that this was the Rosalie everyone needed to know.

"You should play more, Rosalie. You look so carefree and happy."

She just nodded, her smile growing the tiniest fraction. I listened in silence, my smile matching hers, and she played for more than an hour. I recognized some of the pieces, and listened in fascination to the ones that were new.

It didn't take long before my body, still weak from my illness, could no longer do without more rest. My eyelids grew heavy and I struggled to keep them open. I was a little afraid that when I opened them again, this would all be a dream and Rosalie would be the cold, indifferent person she'd been just this morning.

My struggle didn't last long once she began to play Brahms' "Lullaby," but for the first time, I fell asleep with a smile on my face without Edward holding me.

* * *

~*!*~

* * *

My dreams were pleasant enough I supposed. I was walking down the beach with my mom in Jacksonville. The sun pounded down on us and I felt myself grow uncomfortably hot. This wasn't like the dry heat of Phoenix. This was a moist, oppressive heat. But there wasn't any shade or shelter anywhere nearby. I was tempted to jump in the water, but even it felt far too warm.

It didn't seem like the heat was affecting Renée one little bit. Maybe she'd had time to acclimate, but I was wilting under the sun's oppressive rays. Suddenly, a cool breeze sprouted out of nowhere, enveloping my body in chilly gusts of wind.

I walked along the beach with my mother for what felt like hours, just chatting and watching the gulls. Each time the sun began to be unbearable again, the mysterious breeze would pick back up, cooling me down, if only a little.

The dream began to slip away after awhile. My mother's voice faded off and the colors of the beach and the water started to swirl together. I was glad for this dream to end, if only so I could get out of the sun.

I was really getting tired of waking up disoriented and in pain, but this time a few things were different. Not only was I disoriented and in pain, I was sticky with sweat and I still felt uncomfortably hot. Something was also holding me, but the arms were too slender to be Edward and the body wasn't cold enough to belong to a vampire. Where was I?

I could hear someone calling my name. It was so musical, like bells or chimes. Whoever it was continued to call and I struggled to rouse myself from sleep. I knew that once I woke up, I was going to feel the pain of my muscles even more acutely and also that Edward was still going to be gone.

I blinked several times, my vision hazy from sleep and exhaustion. I was stunned into silence as Rosalie's face came into focus. She was frowning slightly and her face was much closer than it had ever been. I was a little worried that maybe she'd decided to kill me after all, or even stranger, that she was about to kiss me. The shock pinned me and I couldn't even move as her face inched ever closer and her eyes bore into mine.

"Bella?" she said my name like a question. I wondered what the expression was on my face; I knew it must have related the pain I was now feeling without the barrier of sleep. I felt like I had jumped off the damn cliff again. My body felt like it had been battered by the waves. And where Rosalie's cold limbs should have been numbing the pain, she felt almost lukewarm to me. Something was seriously amiss.

"Rose," my voice sounded like I'd swallowed a frog, "What? What's going on?"

"Bella, you're sick, remember?"

I almost narrowed my eyes in irritation at that asinine question, but I kept my expression smooth. Of course I knew I was sick. I felt like I'd be run over by my own truck, and maybe Edward's Volvo and Emmett's Jeep too. What I wanted to know was why she was holding me, and even more important why she wasn't cold. Could vampires get sick too?

"I know," I answered her, "I remember yesterday. But, why are you holding me."

She hesitated for a moment before answering, looking a bit embarrassed and unsure of herself.

"Um, well," she stuttered, "you had a fever and I thought this would be the easiest way to cool you down."

I was stunned again. I was so hot on the beach because I was trying to break a fever, and the mysterious breeze was really my body reacting to Rosalie's icy touch, which was now no longer icy.

"You held me all night?" I could hear my voice waiver with gratitude and awe.

"Yes?" she responded, but it was more of a question than a statement, almost as if she was afraid that I would be offended.

I felt tears spring to my eyes. This time yesterday, Rosalie and I still avoided each other at all costs, but now, she'd held me all night, trying to provide some relief. I was so grateful and still a little disbelieving.

"I can't believe you held me all night. Thank you, Rose."

I smiled at her, and she returned the smile briefly; then her mouth turned down into another frown.

"Oh Bella. What are we going to do with you? Do you think you can eat something?" she sort of shook her head at me as she asked.

I swallowed, noticing how famished I was, but the action made my throat throb painfully. I could also feel my stomach doing somersaults again, and I knew I needed to be careful of what I ate or it was never going to stay down.

"Um, maybe some toast," I suggested as my throat continued to pulse with pain.

She nodded before picking me up again. I'd almost forgotten what it felt to walk on my own at this point. Not that I didn't appreciate her help, but I was embarrassed and a little frustrated that I couldn't just walk down to the kitchen on my own. If I tried in my current state I probably would have ended up on the floor unconscious or bleeding.

I looked up at Rosalie and caught her smirk. Apparently she was thinking the same thing.

"You're imagining all the different ways I could have hurt myself if you weren't carrying me, aren't you?"

She laughed once before trying to hold onto a serious expression again. I watched in barely concealed amusement from my perch at the bar stool as Rosalie plucked a loaf of bread from the cupboard and then scowled at the toaster oven.

It wasn't often I got to feel superior to anyone in my vampire family, so I relished it while I had the opportunity. I let her huff at the appliance and randomly turn knobs for about a minute before I took pity on her and gave her some direction.

"Just put the toast on the rack and turn the middle know to medium," I instructed, trying desperately not to break out into a fit of giggles as she sort of violently set my bread to toast.

Rosalie ignored my enjoyment of her struggle asking, "What do you want to drink? More water?"

I was sick of drinking water. I wanted something that actually had a taste. I knew better than to even attempt anything that was made with dairy since that would have been immediately been rejected by my stomach.

"Is there any orange juice?" I questioned. "Maybe the vitamin C will help."

I figured it couldn't hurt to try. Orange juice usually helped me feel better when I was sick. Rosalie poured me a tall glass and then placed a plate with two lightly toasted pieces of bread in front of me. I was tempted to spread some butter or jam on them, maybe even some peanut butter for protein, but I decided not to risk it just yet. I wanted to see how my stomach handled this very plain meal first.

I ate slowly, cringing a little as each bite went down. My throat felt raw, probably from the coughing, and the toast scratched the already inflamed passage. Maybe I should have picked something smoother, like oatmeal. I gagged a little at the thought, remembering how much I hated not only the taste, but also the consistency of oatmeal.

That was a really poor decision. That one unexpected gag reflex set my whole body off. I felt my stomach turning. I tried to just breathe deeply in hope that that would calm me, but I could feel the blood draining from my face and perspiration breakout across my forehead. As my stomach began to reject the food I'd just eaten, I whimpered. There were few things I hated more than the feeling of vomiting.

Realizing I was not going to overcome this feeling, I scurried off the bar stool and sprinted to the bathroom. I slid down in front of the toilet but not before half of my breakfast spilled down the front of my shirt and even into my hair. I retched time and again, feeling weaker and weaker with each heave.

My throat, which had felt like it had a few embers in it before that caused a slight burning, was now completely aflame. It was excruciating. Then I noticed the blood.

I was thankful the wretched acidic smell covered up the scent, at least for me, but I knew Rosalie would pick up on it. I just hoped she'd fed recently enough for it not to send her into a frenzy. She'd managed to restrain herself at my birthday.

My birthday. My body shook with sobs. I wondered if Edward would decide this was another reason to leave me. I was a danger when I was sick. I could bleed at any moment. I couldn't be left with just one member of his family. It was too big a risk.

I began to hyperventilate as I considered this new possibility and I continued to cough up blood, trying to hold myself upright against the toilet so I wouldn't be even more covered in disgusting fluids than I already was.

I had worked myself into a frenzy by the time Rosalie came in. She appeared so suddenly that she frightened me. I began to hyperventilate even faster and then I was having trouble getting enough air. The black dots began to swim in front of my eyes again and the blaze in my throat grew as each breath scorched as it went in an out. It was agonizing.

"Bella," Rosalie soothed. "Bella, you're fine. Just calm down. Deep breaths. There is nothing to be afraid of. It's okay."

I worked to breathe in slower and slower, calming my racing heart and trying not to abuse my throat any further. I let out a few final sobs and then fell quiet except for the occasional hiccup.

"Did you really think I was going to hurt you, Bella?" Rosalie asked, obviously pained that I had so little trust in her. Honestly, I knew she wouldn't hurt me, if for no other reason than she wasn't going to ruin her spotless record on me. But more than that, I knew that other than Edward and Carlisle, I was safest with Rosalie. She had the best control of all the female Cullens and I was actually comforted that it was her with me now.

"You just scared me," I answered honesty, because it really was just the shock that had made me hyperventilate. Well, that and the pain. "And it hurts, like my throat is burning. And then I couldn't breathe, and, and…" I began to stutter as I tried to answer, speaking too quickly and setting off another round of hiccups.

She looked at me sadly before saying, "Maybe orange juice wasn't the best idea."

I nodded. I couldn't have agreed more. I seriously regretted drinking it now. Not only was it not going to do me any good since I hadn't had enough time to benefit from the vitamin C, the acid had made the burning in my throat that much worse.

For the umpteenth time in less than a day, Rosalie picked me up and sped me upstairs. I figured she'd plop me down in Edward's bathroom and leave me to clean up by myself, but she actually waltzed straight into Carlisle and Esme's room and then into their bathroom.

It was insane. There was marble everywhere, beautiful faucets and mirrors. It felt like I was in a spa, not in someone's home bathroom. The tub was huge to the point that all of the Cullens could have fit in it with room to spare. Honestly, I tempted to say it was a modified hot tub.

Rosalie sat me down on the edge and the proceeded to strip off my shirt and pants. I knew I should have been flaming red and I would have liked to have pushed her hands away and run to hide in Edward's room, but I was so weary that I couldn't even blush, much less fight off her speedy hands. Though I did tense as much as I could.

"Relax, Bella," she chided gently. "I'm going to leave on your underwear, but you can't possibly want to keep on this foul shirt anymore."

I didn't argue as she sat me in the cool water, but I was still enormously uncomfortable sitting in my underwear in front of Rosalie. I tried to imagine that we were at the beach and I was in a swimsuit, but that really didn't make me feel any better. I never imagined Rosalie of all people would see me in my underwear before Edward. This was just so wrong.

And the wrongness only continued. I watched in horror as Rosalie proceeded to strip down to her skivvies as well. I honestly wondered if I was still dreaming and a bit delirious. My self-esteem took a huge hit as she disrobed. And then she made a motion as though she was going to join me in the tub.

"Um, Rose?" I asked, really uncomfortable with the whole situation. This was far beyond any level of awkward I'd ever experienced. "What are you doing?"

Bella, honestly," she scolded. "Do you think, in your current condition, I would let you sit alone in a tub full of water? There is no telling how many ways you could injure yourself if left unattended."

Okay, seriously, that was uncalled for. She made me sound like some bumbling toddler that would drown as soon as her back was turned. Honestly, I was sick, but I was not so that ill I was going to just slide down in the water at any moment.

She slipped into the tub, settling, thankfully, in the opposite corner. If she'd sat next to me, I would have done anything in my power to climb out of that tub. I was already way outside of my comfort zone, but that would have pushed me over the edge and I wouldn't have cared if I looked like a fool trying to get away.

"You just sit there and soak," she instructed. "I am going to wash my hair. Try not to drown."

I scowled at her before closing my eyes and resting my head against the side of the tub. Though the water was cool, it felt amazing on my abused muscles and overheated skin.

Too soon she told me, "Bella, turn around so I can wash your hair."

I was a little surprised, raising one eyebrow at her, but I figured if she wanted to wash my hair, I might as well let her since I didn't think I could hold my hands over my head long enough to accomplish the task for myself. I just shrugged my shoulders and turned around.

She was so gentle and I sort of melted at her touch. It was like when the hairdresser would wash my hair before I got it cut. When she finished, she gathered my hair in a loose bun and used a hair clip to make it stay atop my head. As I turned around she grabbed two loofahs and a bottle of body wash that smelled heavenly, like lavender, roses, and maybe cherry blossom, but I couldn't be sure.

Thankfully, she allowed me to wash myself. Again, that really would have been overstepping my boundaries. I didn't even like my mom giving me a sponge bath when I was in the hospital in Phoenix, so I was not about to let Rosalie bathe me. I never would have gotten rid of the blush that would have resulted from that, nor would I have ever been able to look her in the eyes again.

I continued to soak as she climbed out of the tub, wrapping herself in an oversized, fluffy white towel. She then helped me out of the tub and wrapped me in one as well. She carried me back to her room and placed me in the middle of her bed before turning and walking over to her vast closet.

It was not as big as Alice's–then again, whose would be?– but it was still quite sizable. She rummaged around for a bit before emerging with what appeared to be a silk nightgown and jeans and a t-shirt. I sincerely hoped the second clothing set was for me, but Rosalie didn't strike me as a lounge about in pajamas sort of girl.

She saw my expression and commented, "Well, since you never actually finished packing, you don't have any clothes here, and it's either pick something from my closet or Esme's, and you already know her clothes are too big for you. Or, we could see what else Alice has in her Bella Barbie collection. I already grabbed you one of the bra and panty sets she's bought."

I blanched a little as she held up some likely fashionable and incredibly pricey lace garments that had Alice written all over them. I could feel my face heating up in embarrassment. I made no attempt to protest, so Rosalie handed me the underwear and nightgown.

Thankfully, she left to go change in her own bathroom. I would have rather died than change in front of her. It was bad enough that she'd seen me in my underwear; there was no way I was letting her see me naked.

I slipped on the dry underwear, surprised at how comfortable it was, and then slid the gown over my head. It felt amazing on my skin, so smooth and light. I even liked the sort of turquoise color of the silk. I reached over for the matching robe, now feeling cool enough to wear it. I was just knotting the belt as Rosalie reemerged from her bathroom, dressed casually, or rather what I termed Cullen casual, which was not even in the same league as normal causal, in dark skinny jeans and a fitted red polo with the initials DNKY stitched over the pocket. I knew if Alice were here should would have explained the significance of those letters to me. Without the benefit of her explanation, I just figured they meant the shirt cost more than I would feel comfortable spending on an entire outfit, and left my own explanation at that.

Rosalie grabbed what appeared to be an antique silver brush and matching comb off her dresser before settling behind me on the bed. I was already feeling sleepy, but as soon as she started to comb out my hair, I knew I was going to be asleep before much longer. She toweled out the excess water and tamed the curls that had already appeared with precision. It felt heavenly.

I turned just in time to see her pick up the brush to tame her own unruly locks and I made a decision to see if maybe we could find something more positive in common. It was all well and fine for us to have bonded over shared pain, but I wanted that bond to be strengthened by something that made us both smile as well.

I took the brush from her hand as asked, "Do you mind?"

She didn't say anything, but after about a minute she turned around so I took that as a form of consent. I gently pulled the brush through her corn silk hair, taking care to curl under the ends. It was something I'd noticed her do once before as she watched Alice dress me up. I watched in fascination as I saw even more tension drain from her body. She relaxed even further with each additional stroke.

Since we both seemed to derive such pleasure out of this simple act, I had an idea.

"We should do this more often," I suggested. Hoping that this would force us to maintain our newfound friendship. If we didn't have something that made us spend time with each other, I was afraid that we would fall back into our old pattern of ignore or tolerate. "It's nice to just enjoy the simple things in life," I added, as a sort of after thought, but as the words left my mouth, I realized how true they were.

She nodded and then reached behind her head to still my hand before removing the brush and laying it on the bed. We both smiled at each other before she darted away and returned a second later with a tall glass of icy cold water.

"Get comfortable, I'm going to grab some books," she instructed and I willingly complied, snuggling back against the headboard as I drank my water.

She plucked a few books from the shelf on the far wall and then presented them to me with an amused grin. I had to choose between _Pride and Prejudice_, _Wicked_, and what appeared to be a trashy romance novel about vampires. I'd read the first too many times to count and had no interest in reading the second today, but the last book looked utterly entertaining.

"This should be interesting," I commented as I grabbed the romance novel out of her hands, smiling wryly.

"Oh, it is," she assured me with a wink before settling in an overstuffed armchair just next to the bed with what appeared to be _Gone With The Wind_. I smiled a little as I began my own book and I actually managed to stay awake for a couple of hours, chuckling under my breath as I read the ridiculous description of the vampires.

The dashing vampire lover of the unsuspecting Marie was named Anthony, and just as I expected, he had pointy teeth, shunned the sun, and turned into a bat at will. I supposed I was one of very few humans who actually knew that real vampires sparkled and I sniggered a little. Edward was stunningly beautiful in the sunlight, there was no doubt, but in private I did find it more than a little funny that he sparkled like my kindergarten art projects.

As I continued to mentally ridicule the story I felt my lids grow heavy and decided to just rest my eyes for a second. I should have known better than to let them close, because in less than a minute I was fast asleep. I hoped my dreams would actually be pleasant for once, but I wasn't going to hold my breath.

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I didn't really dream at all, unless watching blobs of color counts as dreaming. Honestly, I was glad. It was much better than the alternative. I awoke to the feeling of Rosalie running her hand through my hair. I knew it was her because, really, who else could it be? Carlisle was still at work and the rest of the Cullens were hunting.

I smiled at her as I finally opened my eyes and she smiled in return when I leaned into the hand that had stopped stroking, trying to subtly hint to her to keep going.

"Bella," she asked. "How do you feel?"

I took a quick assessment of my body, trying to decide how I _did_ feel. I decided to play it safe and whisper my answer, since I could still feel a burning sensation in my throat.

"Better than before. My throat still hurts, but I don't feel quite so weak," I answered honestly. I felt much better than I had the last time I woke up. Some of the stiffness had left my muscles and for the first time in more than a day, I didn't have a raging headache.

"Carlisle's here," she announced, catching me off guard. "He brought you some popsicles to help your throat."

I started a little as I noticed Carlisle leaning against the door frame, a little embarrassed that I hadn't seen him before, and flashed him a quick smile.

"Hello, Bella dear," he greeted softly. "I would like to give you a short examination, if you are agreeable."

I nodded and he made his way to my side. Rosalie started to get up, but I caught her arm with my hand, and she settled back next to me, continuing to play with my hair. I caught Carlisle's brief frown as he looked into my throat, but again, he didn't look overly concerned, so I decided that I was either no worse than last time, or I was on the mend. As long as I wasn't getting worse, I didn't really care.

When he finished I decided to risk another whisper. My throat hadn't burned too much the first time. "Thank you for the popsicles, Carlisle."

"You are welcome, Bella," he replied, "but you should be thanking Rosalie; it was her idea."

"She took good care of me," I took pleasure in telling him. "Just like I said she would."

I sounded a little haughtier that I meant, but really, Carlisle should have had more faith in Rosalie.

"Bella," Rosalie's voice interrupted my thoughts before I could work up some more anger on her behalf. "Do you want a popsicle?"

A popsicle sounded amazing right now. I knew it would help soothe the burning in my throat.

"Purple?" I questioned, having no idea what kind Carlisle had brought home, or if there even was a purple one in the box.

"Purple it is," I heard Carlisle say before he disappeared down the hall.

I stayed curled up next to Rosalie, loving the feeling her playing with my hair. Since her breakdown, she'd been nothing but sweet and she was such a comfort to me.

"Rose," I began. "Thank you, for everything. You really are a great sibling."

"Well, you aren't so bad as a little sister after all," she replied, looking a little caught off guard.

We sat in silence for another minute; she absently stroked her hand through my hair while I thought about how lucky I was to have found such an amazing family.

The next time she spoke it was much softer and more timid. "I'm glad you're okay. I was worried," she admitted, still looking uncomfortable with the sudden flood of emotions in the room.

"You took good care of me. I knew you would," I said trying to make her more comfortable. Rosalie still wasn't used to openly admitting she cared for me, and I was more than willing to wait until she was. Rome was not built in a day, and we wouldn't just fall into being sisters overnight.

Before long Carlisle returned with the most glorious thing I had seen all day. Between his thumb and forefinger he held a magnificent purple popsicle, which I immediately snatched from his hand as soon as he was close enough. I felt immediate relief when I popped it into my mouth and I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it tasted like real grape juice. I should have known that as a doctor Carlisle would never feed me over processed sugar, but I was still a little surprised by the taste.

I slurped on it happily until the whole thing was gone and then I stared unhappily at the sad, discolored stick that was left. As soon as I blinked I felt a whoosh of air and when I opened my eyes I had a full popsicle again, only this time it was red. As I licked my newest frozen treat, I thought about how convenient it was to have a family full of vampires. It was going to be hard to wait patiently for the others to return, but I had a feeling with both Rosalie and Carlisle to keep me company, the time would pass quickly.

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**A/N: Okay, so that takes us through Chapter six of FMP. I hope you enjoyed this outtake.**

**Now, there are a couple of different things I can do next. As you all know, chapter seven begins with Bella's POV, but there is a huge chunk of time missing between this last scene and when she is in the shower musing over the Cullens in chapter seven. I'd need some help coming up with ideas, but if you'd like, I can write a shorter chapter about what Carlisle, Rosalie and Bella get up to while they are home together. If you'd like to read a chapter about that, I need some suggestions for activities.**

**Or, if you are tired of Bella's POV, then I can go ahead and just leave that chunk of time to your imagination and start working on Alice's POV of the hunting trip. Either way, it will probably be late this weekend to the middle of next week before I can get either chapter written.**

**Leave a review or send a PM with your comments, suggestion and the edits you'd like to see made for the Twilighted version of this story.**

**Please, take a minute to review. It really means a lot to me!**

**Thanks for reading! ^_^**


	18. Exciting News! Let's try this again

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**Hello Faithful Readers,**

**I have some rather exciting news (for real this time). This story has been accepted (again after extensive edits) by Twilighted. It has a different title (Rescue From Ruin), but my screen name is still Saxyad18, so you shouldn't have any trouble finding me.**

**I know you have all read this story in its entirety already, but I am hoping you will support me as I post it on the other site as well. Also, I am converting the whole story into 3rd person, so it reads quite a bit differently. The extended scenes will be incorporated into the actual story chapters. It makes the action a little easier to follow and gives the story a more professional feeling.**

**I am still working on the last two extended scenes. Luckily for all of you, having to post submissions regularly to Twilighted will force me to work on those scenes, so be looking for them sometime between now and the end of the summer.**

**I thank you all for your support and dedication! Please leave some love on Twilighted if you are registered. You all have been fantastic!  
**

**Sincerely,**

**Saxyad18**

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	19. Epilogue: Backdraft

_**Hello dear readers. I know it has been quite some time since I have offered a bit of fiction for your perusal. I have had this particular piece written for several months now and have been toying with it ever since. I have been in desperate need of a break from grad school, so I took some time to do some final edits yesterday so that I could upload it tonight. I hope you enjoy it. I may continue on, or I may let this be the final chapter in this fic. We'll all just have to wait and see since I had yet to write about the hunting trip from Alice's perspective.  
**_

_**While this piece could have stood alone with minimal confusion, I like to think of this as the missing final chapter of this story. **__**I think it really draws some of the last plot holes to a close. **__**Many of you wondered why Bella's lingering issues with the Cullens were never addressed or resolved. Truthfully, FMP was intended to delve into the Cullens' problems, and never into Bella's. In hindsight, I realize that this bit of fiction really serves as the wrap-up needed in FMP. **_

_**For those of you who have been reading the edited version, rest assured, I am still working on reformatting this fic for publication on Twilighted. For those of you who haven't seen the edited version, the first several chapters are already up, and I hope to be able to return to my editing over the summer. **_

_**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this brief foray back into the plot of of this fic, and that it settles any lingering tension I had left. Please take a moment to review at the end. I would love to know your reactions to this addition.**_

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She had been on her way to run some errands when she decided to pay them an impromptu visit. The errands, she decided, could wait; she could not. She hadn't talked to any of them since the previous afternoon and she was anxious for their company. She had plans with both Alice and Edward the next day, but it felt so far away.

Nothing seemed amiss as Bella drove up to the house and parked her truck. She left everything, including her keys and phone, in the car, knowing she didn't have to worry about theft here. But, as she walked toward the front door, she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Something was wrong here. Very, very wrong.

She crept closer, her wariness growing with each step, until she stood before the door. Normally, Alice would have already vaulted over the threshold, grabbed Bella in a hug, and then forced her upstairs for some Bella Barbie time.

But today, there was no one to greet her. Bella knocked tentatively on the door, waiting a moment for Esme to come bustling up and kiss her on the cheek, but no one came.

Bella steeled her nerves and twisted the knob; she knew it would open––whom did the Cullens have to fear? The front door swung open without the least bit of protest, but Bella did not step over the threshold.

She collapsed on her knees on the porch and began to hyperventilate. As her eyes darted from each moving box to each sheet-covered piece of furniture, her heart rate continued to climb dangerously high. The hole Bella was so sure had been healed ripped wide open and burned with agonizing fury.

She gritted her teeth against the pain, oblivious to the huge tears rolling down her pale cheeks. She swayed as she clutched the doorframe, trying to stand up.

_There is a perfectly rational explanation for this. They must have left me a note._

She allowed herself to think of nothing but this mantra as she stumbled toward the kitchen. Where better to leave a note for the human?

There were fewer boxes than Bella would have expected, but she was not concerned with the number of boxes. She was on a mission and nothing was going to deter her. She scoured the kitchen, but came up empty handed.

Bella fell to her knees again, trying to hold on to herself before she fell completely to pieces.

_I've only checked one room. They've left the note somewhere else. Come on, Bella, you can do this_.

It was no longer a question in her mind as to whether or not the note existed; it was only a matter of whether or not Bella could find the note before she lost her mind.

She crawled on her hands and knees throughout the rooms of the first floor, but found nothing that explained all the moving boxes. The thoughts she had been desperately trying to squash since she opened the front door finally broke free.

_They left me. They're gone. They aren't coming back. They left me._

The hole flared again, making Bella hiss with pain and lean heavily against the sheet-draped couch. It took her several moments to force back the searing pain to the point that she could move. She struggled over to the corner of the living room, curling her body into the uncomfortable space as the sobs overtook her.

_Why would they leave me? They just got back. Where did they go? Why couldn't I go too? Why don't they want me?_

As these questioned rolled around in her head, Bella was taken back to her months of despair and agony. There wasn't even an attempt at a goodbye this time. Edward was wrong; a break as clean as this one was so much worse than only having him painfully dismiss her. It was too much to bear.

Bella finally decided to fall over into the abyss. Her breaths came in short, painful gasps and her heartbeat continued at a dangerous pace. She'd been in overdrive for more than twenty minutes and her body just couldn't keep up anymore.

The small black dots that had been swimming before her eyes began to merge until they took over her entire field of vision. She slumped against the wall as she lost consciousness, but her tears never stopped, and every so often an almost inaudible plea would escape her pale lips.

"Please, come back. Please, don't leave me here all alone. Please."

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Muted though it was, Bella's pleading did not go unheard. When the vision finally left her, Alice immediately dialed Bella's cell phone. She cursed as she called Bella's phone again and again, never getting further than Bella's cheerful message asking her to leave a voicemail. The vision had come too late, and Alice was powerless as she watched her best friend crumple and sob. By the time she called the phone at the house, Bella was too far-gone to hear it, much less answer.

If Bella had only gone upstairs, she would have seen that none of those rooms were packed away in boxes or under sheets. They were just as the Cullens had left them that morning. Carlisle had books open on his desk; Rosalie had clothes strewn over her bed.

And most importantly, if Bella had walked into Esme's study, she would have seen the plans, fabric swatches and catalogues that explained the boxes and sheets on the first floor. Esme had been planning on redecorating the entire first floor since before Bella's birthday the previous year, but obviously, those plans were never followed through, and Esme had only just gotten around to completing her decorating vision. She had wanted a fresh look for the upcoming wedding.

It never occurred to any of the Cullens what Bella would think if she saw the boxes and sheet-draped rooms. They all assumed she would never see any of them. She wasn't supposed to be at the house today, and by tomorrow, the whole process would have been finished. Emmett and Jasper thought it would be great fun to see Bella's face when she opened the door and saw all the changes. Emmett had already planned to razz her about it for weeks. No one saw any harm in their small joke, so they all kept quiet, more than a little curious to see Bella's reaction as well.

But there would be no teasing Bella about her reaction; in fact, there might not be a Bella to tease if someone didn't get there soon to explain. Bella was falling fast and hard toward oblivion. Her mind had barely survived unexpected separation the first time, and now it wasn't a matter of if she would loose all sense of self, but when.

Alice's shrill cry alerted Emmett that something had gone horribly, horribly wrong. He was several miles away from her, tracking a second bear, but the minute he heard her cry, he darted back through the Olympic National forest toward her, his meal completely forgotten.

"Bella, Bella, Bella! Pick up the damn phone. Please! Just pick up the phone!" Alice screamed into her cell phone.

Emmett skidded to a stop next to her, sending a shower of bracken and broken branches past Alice.

"Alice? What happened to Bella? Why can't she answer her phone?" Emmett demanded anxiously.

"I'll explain on the way. We have to go, now! We're the closest. By the time the others could make it, it'll be too late," Alice responded in haste.

She grabbed Emmett's hand and pulled him along as they sprinted back to Forks.

"Call everyone and tell them they have to get back to the house immediately. I need to watch," she directed him as she allowed herself to become half immersed in her sight while they ran.

Emmett, still bewildered as to what exactly was happening, chose not to question Alice's instructions. She looked more frenzied and panicked than he had ever seen her and he only hoped they would arrive in time to save Bella from whatever was threatening to hurt her.

He called Carlisle and Esme first, knowing they were the closest in Olympia. They were picking up some of the more delicate furnishings for the living room. Esme didn't trust human movers to deliver her 17th century curio and side tables in the condition in which she expected them.

Emmett hurriedly explained what he knew, and once Carlisle and Esme assured him they were speeding back to Forks at that very moment he called Rosalie and Jasper. Esme had sent them to Seattle on a similar mission as Carlisle and herself. Only this time, it was antique vases that Esme refused to trust to human hands.

Having gotten what he deemed the easy calls out of the way, Emmett prepared himself to call the one person he knew couldn't handle news such as this–Edward.

Just as he prepared to press the appropriate speed dial on his phone, Alice interrupted him.

"Don't bother, Emmett. I'll call Edward. He is going to want to know information I haven't had time to tell you yet."

Edward had driven down to Portland to pick up some blown-glass paperweights. He was a little exasperated with Esme for asking him run this errand, wondering why such things couldn't be shipped to their home instead. The fate of the world did not depend on whether or not Esme's glass trinkets arrived today or next week. What difference, he wondered, could one teal glass ball make on the over all aesthetic of a room?

Edward, however, knew better than to question Esme, and agreed to spend half the day running to another state, even though he had been hoping to surprise Bella by spending the day with her. He had just finished loading the last crate of baubles when he answered Alice's call.

It took everything he had in him not to smash Esme's precious treasures when he hung up, but Edward soon realized he wasn't really angry with Esme. He was angry with himself. If he hadn't left Bella in the first place, she wouldn't be passed out in the corner of the living room convinced she'd been abandoned again.

As he sped down Interstate 5 toward Forks, Edward's self-loathing reached new heights. His only consolation was that at the time his conversation with Alice had ended, she and Emmett were less than ten minutes from the house.

Alice didn't even bother taking off her mud-covered shoes as she sprinted into the house, Emmett right on her heels. They found Bella curled into a fetal position in the furthest corner of the living room, tears still coursing down her pallid cheeks even as she was unconscious.

"Please, don't leave me. Please, come back." They heard Bella whimper.

Alice was frozen in horror at what they had done to her best friend. She had shoved the visions she'd had of Bella the first few days after they left her last September in the furthest recesses of her mind, hoping she could forget about them. But seeing Bella like this brought them all back full force and Alice was powerless as she too dropped to the floor in agony.

Emmett, though concerned for Alice, grabbed the small human girl he deemed his baby sister and pulled her close. Though unconscious, Bella could sense the presence of someone she'd feared she'd lost. Her fingers locked around Emmett's shirt with such force Emmett was afraid she was going to cause herself harm, but he was more afraid of what he could do to her if he tried to loosen them.

"Em," Alice instructed weakly, still shaken, "We should put her on the couch. She's been like this for almost an hour now. She's already going to be sore when she wakes up, which should be in about ten minutes."

Emmett nodded in agreement, cradling Bella in his arms as he walked back toward the couch. Alice flicked off the white sheet so Emmett could lay Bella down. It took them a few minutes to pry Bella's fingers from Emmett's shirt and neither could help frowning as Bella's tears picked back up and her hands reached out as though she were looking for something.

"No," Bella mumbled obviously distressed. "Come back. Don't leave me all alone."

When her breathing started to increase again, Emmett made a move to pick her back up, but Alice held him back.

"She's about to wake up and she might be scared if she's restrained. Let's just sit on the floor and wait," Alice instructed.

Bella's violent intake of air and sudden movement shocked them both, but it was what she said when they started to move toward her that caused them the most distress.

Bella was thrilled to see them, but the minute she saw them reach for her hand she pulled back. She knew she was hallucinating; she'd been down this road before. The minute they "touched" her they would disappear, and Bella just couldn't take that.

She vaulted off the couch and huddled in the corner furthest from the two distraught vampires. They moved as if to comfort her again, but her words stopped them cold.

"Please don't come any closer." They watch her beg in anguish. "Please don't touch me. Then I'll know you aren't real. Just let me have this. Just stay, please? Just let me look at you. Let me have this one thing before you're gone for good."

Bella was hysterical by the time she finished, but she was determined that they would stay put so she could get her fill of them before they disappeared just like her hallucinations of Edward.

"Bella," Alice shifted her weight toward her best friend, aching to comfort her, "We really are here. Emmett and I were hunting and the others are coming back right now. Just come over here and see."

Alice's eyes tightened in pain as Bella shook her head frantically. Emmett made a move to go into the kitchen to get Bella a glass of water, but stopped when he heard Bella's distressed plea.

"No! No, don't move. Don't leave. Then you'll disappear and I'll be all alone."

Emmett and Alice sank down on the couch, worried that any false move or statement would send Bella back over the edge again. They were saddened to watch some of her stress melt away when she was sure they weren't going anywhere.

"Alright, Bella. We'll just sit here, okay?" Alice soothed.

Bella nodded and then pulled her legs to her chest, resting her head on her knees. She resisted the urge even to blink, fearing that in that split second, they would disappear. She watched, soaking in everything about them. She wished both Alice and Emmett were wearing their usual smiles, but Bella was not about to be picky at a time like this. She would take the hallucinations as they came and be grateful they came at all.

All three of the occupants of the living room watched each other warily, one convinced the other two would disappear at any moment, and the other two convinced they were seeing the irreparable mental breakdown of the first.

For over an hour, they all just stared at each other. Bella tried to commit every bit of their presence to her memory. If she could only see Alice and Emmett, she was going to make sure she could remember everything about them.

But, she admitted to herself, she wished she could hallucinate them all. What she wouldn't give to see Esme's kind smile, or Carlisle's handsome face, Jasper's battle scars or even Rosalie's piercing glare. She didn't dare hope for Edward. She'd already been blessed with so many hallucinations of him in her dark months. She would just have to make due with the memory those.

Bella was so content memorizing how one of Emmett's short curls twisted around the shell of his left ear that she never noticed the hurried conversation Alice had on her phone, nor the sound of Carlisle's Mercedes M-class SUV spray gravel as it came to an abrupt stop in the driveway.

Carlisle and Esme sprinted in the house; the scene in the living room shocked them. Everything was deathly still and quiet except for the sound of Bella's ragged breaths. Esme started toward the young girl, seeking to comfort her, but she stilled and her unmoving heart clenched when Bella recoiled from her.

"Bella," Carlisle soothed. "Bella, dear. Alice has told me what happened. You must believe me. You aren't hallucinating. We are all here. We won't disappear if you touch us or we leave the room. I promise."

Bella wedged herself further in the corner as Carlisle moved closer. Fresh tears burst forth and her body shuddered as she sobbed.

"Please! Please! Just stay by the couch. I know you'll disappear and I just want to look before you do. Please just let me look before you leave me. I just want to be able to remember once you're gone. It was so hard last time. Please, I just want to remember."

Carlisle, now especially concerned for the state of Bella's mental health, knew that if he forced his presence on her, her fragile psyche would fall off the precipice upon which it rested, and perhaps into a state from which he could offer no aid. Their best hope was to play into Bella's delusions until she fell asleep and then coax her into believing the truth once she woke up.

He pulled Esme into his arms and sunk down next to Alice on the couch. Bella resumed her position and continued to drink in every aspect of their features. Esme fidgeted, wanting desperately to gather the confused young women in her arms and soothe her, but she remained on the couch, meeting Bella's desperate eyes with a forced smile.

No more than five minutes had passed when the tires on Rosalie's BMW squealed as she avoided crashing into the SUV. Rosalie and Jasper bolted from her cherry red convertible while gravel continued to fly.

As soon as Jasper picked up on Bella's emotions, his knees buckled and Rosalie was forced to catch him. She dragged him into the living room, half expecting Bella to be in the throes of her transformation. Rosalie couldn't understand why her family was just sitting there as an obviously distressed Bella cowered in the corner.

After helping Jasper lean against Alice's legs, Rosalie took one long stride toward Bella before all hell broke loose.

"Don't!" range out six voices, Bella's the most pained of all.

Emmett snatched Rosalie's hand and pulled her into his lap, locking her in place with his arms when she struggled.

"What?" she demanded exasperated.

"Bella is convinced we are all hallucinations," Alice explained. "She came to the house earlier and she thinks we've left without telling her again. She is afraid that we'll disappear if we try to touch her, like her hallucinations of Edward did."

Bella, it seemed, was completely oblivious to this explanation. She was content to stare at the absurdly lovely blonde vampire, committing her familiar glare to memory.

"Well, this is just ridiculous. We aren't going to disappear." Rosalie struggled against Emmett, determined to go and touch Bella to put this whole thing behind them, until she glanced up when Bella started to hyperventilate.

"No, please. You just got here. There isn't enough time to remember. Just let me look a little longer. Please, let me remember. Please, don't go."

Rosalie, shocked by Bella's hysterical outburst, sank back against Emmett heavily. Bella was a wreck; prolonged crying and the fading of the newest burst of adrenaline left her feeling utterly spent, but increased her fear that her time was running short. She was going to pass out again before she had time to commit Jasper and Rosalie to memory. How long would it take her to forget the exact shade of Rosalie's hair, or the way Jasper's mouth curled up on one side as he spoke?

Jasper, feeling her anguish and struggle, decided it was time for Bella to be put out of her misery. He sent wave after wave of lethargy and tranquility, hoping to lull Bella into a sense of peace, and then to sleep.

Bella struggled, fearing the minute she closed her eyes, she would never see them again. The Cullens watched horrified as Bella fought but eventually succumbed to sleep, tears continuing to pour down her cheeks and lamentations escaping her chapped lips.

When it was clear that she was finally asleep, it was Emmett who cried out first. With the exception of warding off Rosalie from touching Bella, he'd been silent since he entered the house.

"My God! What have we done to her?" He clutched Rosalie tighter to him.

Alice and Esme began to sob after his outburst, their feelings of anguish finally too strong to keep locked away.

"I had feared this would happen," Carlisle admitted. "We came back as suddenly as we left and Bella has never had a chance to work through her feelings of abandonment and anger. I should have been expecting this sort of breakdown. I should have prepared her for this possibility. We could have worked through it before she reached this state."

Carlisle continued to berate himself, but all the Cullens shared guilt over the suffering they had caused this poor girl.

When both Jasper and Carlisle were satisfied that Bella was deeply asleep, they moved her prone from to Edward's room, hoping that she would be soothed by not only his scent as she slept, but by the room itself when she woke.

When they were sure she was situated comfortably, Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett returned to the living room to await Edward's return. Alice remained with Bella, holding her hand, hoping to give her best friend some sense of her presence. She would watch over Bella's sleeping form until Edward arrived. Heaven help them all if Bella woke up alone.

* * *

~*!*~

* * *

As Alice acted as sentry, Edward raced down Highway 101 toward Forks. Pushing the Volvo to its limits, he managed to arrive a little more than half an hour after Rosalie and Jasper. He bypassed his family and sprinted up the stairs where he knew Bella would be waiting.

Without even acknowledging Alice's presence, he crawled into bed beside Bella and gathered her close, tucking her head into the crook of his neck and breathing in her scent.

"Oh, Bella," he breathed in anguish. "I promised I would never leave you again, love. I'm so sorry. I'll make this up to you I swear."

Alice, leaving her brother to comfort her best friend, wandered into her bathroom and wet a washcloth to wipe off Bella's tear stained face. Edward was reluctant to move Bella, but he knew that Alice needed to do something to offer comfort.

Edward turned Bella so her back rested against his chest and her head was tucked just under his chin. He watched Alice tenderly wipe the salt trials from Bella's cheeks, her eyes crinkled in agony. Edward knew Alice wanted to stay with Bella, but he couldn't bring himself to invite her to remain. It was his mistake and he needed to fix it. Alice, though desperate to stay, didn't push Edward; she just trudged down the stairs and sank down next to Jasper who had yet to move from the floor. Esme had already called Charlie and made up an excuse for Bella to stay the night.

Bella slept restlessly for several hours, sometimes whispering pleas for them to stay, but never quite waking herself. Edward just held her close, playing with her tiny hands and stroking her chestnut curls. When Bella finally began to stir, Edward held her closer still so she would know he was there.

She was groggy and disoriented, but she was sure of one thing. Edward was holding her. When Bella shuddered, Edward turned her so he could see into her eyes.

"Bella, love. What's wrong?"

Bella just drank in his presence for a moment before answering.

"I just had the most horrible nightmare. I came to the house to visit and you were all gone and the whole house was packed up like you were moving. I cried and cried and eventually I had hallucinations of your whole family. I was so convinced they were all going to disappear. It all felt so real and so much worse than, well, you know…" Her explanation trailed off.

Edward frowned as Bella related what she thought was a nightmare. He had no idea what to tell her. Was it better for her to believe it was a nightmare or was Carlisle right? Did Bella need to work through the issues she had obviously repressed? Edward was so confused.

Bella snuggled against him for a moment before wriggling out of his grasp. She stood up and stretched, wondering why she felt so sore and worn out. She chalked it up to her nightmare; they always left her feeling a little out of sorts.

"I feel like I could eat a horse," she admitted as she waltzed out of Edward's room, oblivious to Edward's lingering pain, and trekked toward the first floor.

He followed her like a shadow as she made her way down the stairs. The remaining Cullens waited in a loose sort of semi-circle in the living room. They each wore matching expressions of grief and guilt. They as well as the boxed and sheet-covered living room were visible from the stairs and it was painfully apparent to all seven vampires the moment Bella realized her nightmare had come to life.

Bella sucked in one gulp of air as her face turned ashen. Her left foot remained poised just over the next step. The pupils of her eyes dilated to the point that just a rim of the chocolate of her irises could be seen and Bella's vision tunneled to the point that all she could see were the boxes, sheets, and anguished faces of the vampires she thought were going to be her family. She only had time to sob out one question before she fainted, her limbs as lifeless as a ragdoll's.

"Why?"

Edward, too stunned to move, had to watch as Alice darted forward to catch Bella before she slammed into the stairs. Alice cradled Bella's body while Edward regained control of himself. She was reluctant to relinquish Bella, but Edward was in no mood to argue with Alice; he snatched his beloved from her arms without a moment's hesitation. Alice's only comfort was to sit next to Edward as he held Bella on the couch.

Jasper tried to coax Bella from her stupor as gently as he could, but not even he could prevent the torrent of emotions that Bella let loose once she came to again. As quickly as she fainted, Bella woke and reacted to the perceived terror with indescribable alarm.

She instinctively turned in Edward's arms until she was straddling his lap, one arm rooted in his unruly hair while the other clutched his shoulder with more strength than she knew she possessed. He was going to have to break her hands and wrists to remove her from his body, and she hoped that his claim that he would never hurt her would prevent him from trying to break her hold.

The sobs tore threw her immediately as questions, pleas and promises spewed from her mouth.

"Why? Why are you leaving? Please don't go. Please don't leave me all alone. Can't I come too? Please let me come. I want to come too. I'll be good; I promise! Why do you have to go? Please don't leave. Stay with me. Don't you want me?"

As her pleas grew more desperate, Bella clutched herself tighter to Edward, shuddering under the weight of her sobs and terror. She held on so tightly her knuckles turned white and the tendons and bones in her hands began to strain under the pressure.

Alice started to lean away from the scene, about to collapse under the strain of her own tears into Jasper's waiting arms. Bella, misinterpreting the movement as Alice leaving, untangled her hand from Edward's hair and latched on to Alice's wrist before tugging the petite vampire so hard she collapsed against Edward's side.

Afraid of Alice leaving, Bella locked their fingers together and then clutched their joined hands by her heart. Alice, sensing Bella's distress, huddled closer to Edward, hoping her friend would understand that she wasn't going anywhere.

Bella's sobs eventually quieted and her shuddering all but ceased, but she did not lessen her hold on either Edward or Alice. She clung to them with every last bit of strength she possessed.

Edward shifted as though to turn her to face the rest of the family, but Bella clutched his shoulder stubbornly and buried her face further into the crook of his neck. She'd learned from the last time. She wasn't going to let go; she wasn't going to watch him walk away again.

"Bella, love. Please,' Edward implored, trying again to loosen her hold.

"No," Bella denied him fiercely, but as her refusal continued, her voice lost its intensity, dissolving back into teary pleas.

Hating himself all the while, Edward had Carlisle help him extract Bella from his neck. They had to explain this to her before she made herself even more upset and to do that, she could not be focused on keeping herself attached to Edward. Bella sobbed and clutched at Edward's shirt, his hair, and his shoulders while tears gushed miserably from her eyes.

"Oh, sweetheart," Esme moaned at the scene, tortured by the aguish on the young girl's face, knowing that she was to blame. If only she hadn't wanted to renovate the first floor. If only they had explained it to Bella instead of leaving it as a surprise.

Once Carlisle had removed Bella's hold on Edward, he held her hands together in one of his own. He was worried she was going to go into shock.

"Bella, you need to breathe, dear. Deep breaths. In and out. Good. We'll explain everything in a moment, but I need you to calm down."

Tears continued to stream in torrents down her face, but Bella did as Carlisle asked. If this was going to be her last moments with him, she wanted to know that she had done all she could to show him she could be a good daughter, even if he didn't want her.

Edward was absolutely beside himself in agony. What had he done to his angel?

"Alice," Carlisle spoke again. "Perhaps you better explain. You saw what happened."

Alice swallowed unnecessarily before locking eyes with her emotionally tortured best friend.

"Bella," she began in a tone that was soothing, but belied her underlying worry. "I swear we aren't going anywhere. We aren't moving. No one is leaving you."

Bella listened, but no one missed her skeptical survey of the boxes and sheet-covered furniture. Her trust in Alice had been shaken again, and Bella couldn't bring herself to believe a word Alice said.

"Sweetheart," Esme crooned, hoping Bella would believe her. "Sweetheart, look at me."

Bella slowly drug her eyes over to Esme, not wanting to look away from Alice and Edward.

"I had a renovation planned for the this level of the house that I just got around to starting. I wanted a fresh look for the wedding. The boxes are going into storage along with some of the furniture. We were going to paint later; that is why everything is covered in sheets. While Emmett and Alice were hunting, we were all picking up various items for the renovation. I've got all the plans upstairs in my office. I'll bring them down so you can see."

Before Bella had a chance to protest, Esme had flown upstairs to retrieve the sketches, swatches and catalogues from her study. Still held captive by Carlisle's hands, Bella began shaking the minute she could no longer see Esme, the product of a lingering fear of her subconscious that Esme wasn't coming back. The Cullens knew the reason for her violent tremors, but did not comment.

In a flurry of movement, Esme returned from her office, some of her carefully organized plans fluttering behind her due to her haste. She unceremoniously dumped the contents of her arms across the coffee table before dashing over to where Carlisle stood, still restraining Bella.

Removing her husband's hands and replacing them with her own, Esme carefully led Bella to the mass of papers and catalogues. She pulled Bella down beside her, not releasing her hands until she was sure Bella would stay in place and not launch herself back at Edward and Alice.

As the other Cullens watched on, hopeful that Bella would finally see the truth, they all continued to berate themselves for ever causing this girl a moment of torment. They hadn't, until this day, realize just how attached Bella was to each of them, and in return, how attached they each were to Bella. They could not imagine their lives without her.

With each new explanation from Esme, the tortured, haunted look began to dissipate from Bella's eyes. When the truth of today's events finally caught up with her, Bella felt overwhelming humiliation for her actions, but also tremendous relief that she had been wrong.

As quickly as she had fainted, and despite her embarrassment, Bella turned to pull Esme into a hug and her sobbing began anew. Esme just gathered her closer and let the poor girl sob out her fear and relief.

Bella felt like she had sobbed for hour, but it was really less than a few minutes. When it was clear to all the occupants of the room that Bella truly believed they hadn't left her behind again, the lingering tension dispelled.

Alice was the first to move, shuffling over to join Bella and Esme on the floor. As soon as Bella felt her presence, she let go of Esme and launched herself at Alice. Alice returned the exuberant embrace, though she was careful not to crush her best friend. She was just so relieved that Bella didn't think she was a hallucination anymore.

When Bella had her fill of Alice, she shakily got to her feet and surveyed the room. Embarrassment hadn't overcome relief yet and she was determined to touch them all just to prove to her self that they were real.

Jasper was closest, so Bella hesitantly walked toward him, hoping that he could steel himself against the temptation of her blood if given enough warning. Such a thought hadn't crossed Jasper's mind for quite some time, and he was more than happy to give comfort to the obviously fragile human he had come to adore. Right as Bella lifted a shaky hand to touch Jasper's forearm, he reached out and pulled her into a tender hug, hoping to soothe her frazzled emotions. Bella clung to him for only a moment, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He let her go with a kiss on the forehead before gently pushing her toward Rosalie and Emmett.

Bella stumbled a little, still shaky on her feet, but she made it to the statuesque couple without falling. Bella hugged Rosalie first, standing on her tiptoes to burrow her head in Rosalie's shoulder. Rosalie stroked her hair lovingly, still worried that Bella was going to collapse again.

When it appeared to Emmett that Bella and Rosalie had finished their embrace, he reached down and pulled Bella up into his arms. "Come 'ere, squirt," he whispered.

Bella wrapped her arms around his shoulder and her legs around his stomach before squeezing Emmett as hard as she could. She felt especially comforted by his big bear hug, knowing there was no way her imagination could make her feel like all the air was being squashed from her body. There was no mistaking a hug from Emmett.

Much like Jasper, Emmett sent Bella off with a kiss to the forehead and a little shove, this time in Carlisle's direction. Carlisle reached out for Bella and pulled her to rest against his stony chest. Bella nestled into his embrace, a few more tears finally escaping. Carlisle wanted her as a daughter after all. He leaned down and kissed the crown of her head, content to hold her until she was ready to let go.

When she finally released Carlisle, Bella needed no further motivation to go seek comfort in Edward's arms. She all but threw herself at him, and each of the Cullens relaxed further when they saw the final bit of tension leave Bella's body. Bella squirmed and wriggled until it was impossible for her to get any closer to Edward. He held on to her so tight it was uncomfortable, but Bella could not bring herself to care.

Little by little her relief was replaced with overwhelming embarrassment for her actions. She berated herself for acting like such a fool. Honestly, what was wrong with her, she wondered. Elizabeth Masen's ring was on her finger and she and Edward were to be married in less than a month. The Cullens had given her no reason not to trust them since their return and the moment that trust was tested Bella had fallen to pieces. She could have easily walked up to the second and third floors and seen the un-packed rooms or design plans.

Mortification burned through her and she buried her head further into Edward's neck, hoping to hide her blush from everyone. She would never live this down. Edward felt her cheeks heat up and didn't have to wonder for very long what it meant. Jasper, privy to all Bella's emotions, used Edward's gift to explain Bella's feelings, hoping to spare her any further embarrassment.

* * *

~*!*~

* * *

Sensing that Bella was going to need some time to compose herself before she was ready to face the rest of the family, Edward carried her up to his room. They laid quietly for a while before Bella finally worked up the nerve to look him in the eye.

He could see remorse and shame in her eyes, but he couldn't understand why. What did Bella have to be sorry for? His mouth dropped open in shock when she apologized for her behavior.

"Isabella Marie Swan." She cringed at the use of her full name even though there was no anger, only incredulity, in Edward's tone. "Why are you apologizing? If we had just told you Esme was redecorating none of this would have happened. I am so sorry you thought we had abandoned you again. Please, forgive me."

Now it was Bella's turn to be shocked.

"Of course I forgive you, but aren't you upset with me at all? I should have known you wouldn't leave me. I should have just called one of you. There were so many things I could have done. I brought it all on myself because I was too stupid to just think for a minute."

Edward refused to allow Bella to berate herself anymore, so he cut her off before she could continue her self-flagellation.

"If I hadn't been an idiot and convinced my family to leave you behind last September, you never would have needed to think. You would have just assumed that we needed to move and you were coming too."

"I still feel like such a fool," Bella reluctantly admitted. "They must think I am completely ridiculous and don't have a sensible bone in my body."

Having now admitted her embarrassment aloud, she could no longer look Edward in the eye, but he gently pulled her chin up and forced her gaze to meet his own once more.

"No one thinks you are a fool. And trust me, we are all more ashamed of ourselves than you are embarrassed."

Bella made no further comment, but she was skeptical that anyone could feel any emotion more than she felt mortified right now.

"Carlisle thinks it would be wise for us all to talk about last September and our return in March. He thinks you've never had a chance to work through your feelings, and that you won't ever really be able to move on from it until you do."

"I can't go down there now. Are you crazy?"

Edward almost chuckled at how appalled and incredulous she sounded, but he was still so sadden by the events of the day that he couldn't bring himself to laugh.

"Bella, love, I think it will help. We've never really talked about it with the rest of the family. And, I am not entirely sure that you had the chance to say everything you wanted to say to me. Please, just stop and consider this for a moment."

"Please, Bella," sounded Alice's tinkling voice, though it was far less jovial than usual. Alice was peering into Edward's room from the hallway, unwilling to enter without his permission.

Bella, it seemed, couldn't resist the pixie pout, especially when in combination with the grief and sadness that still read clearly from Alice's eyes. Oh how Bella didn't want to talk about last September, but if that was the only way they could all move on from today, then she would just have to suffer through it.

With a sigh, Bella extracted herself from Edward's arms.

"Can I at least have a human moment first," she sniffed, still monumentally embarrassed and wanting a moment to compose herself without other people present.

"Of course, love. Alice and I will wait by the stairs," Edward responded. He placed a tender kiss on the top of Bella's hair before ushering his sister toward the end of the hallway.

Bella trudged to Edward's bathroom, wary of what she would see in the mirror. She went through her crisis checklist and was unhappy, but not unsurprised with the results.

Paler than normal skin- check. Bloodshot eyes complete with huge purple bags, chapped lips and rat's nest of a hairdo- check, check, check. Obvious mortification oozing out of every pour- double check.

As she straightened her appearance, Bella began a mental pep talk.

_Alright, Bella. You have officially made an ass of yourself. But regardless of your complete and utter humiliation you are going to walk down those stairs with your head held high and get this over with. You are not going to stand in here like a pansy and make Edward come get you. Don't lose the little scrap of dignity you have left._

Bella splashed cold water on her face and toweled off as she continued her mental motivational speech. It took a few more moments and several more breaths before she was ready or willing to face Edward and Alice.

Neither commented on her overly determined martyr-like expression and the three made a solemn procession down the stairs to the living room. Bella hoped no one noticed her slight hesitation when the living room came into view again. Of course, the seven vampires did all notice, but everyone wisely kept their observation to themselves.

Bella dear," Esme called. "Why don't you come sit next to me?"

Grateful to be reprieved from making any decisions for the moment, Bella did exactly as suggested, leaning into Esme a little for both comfort and strength.

Carlisle addressed her next. "Bella, as Edward has already explained, I feel it would be in your best interests, given the circumstances of this afternoon, to express your feelings about the events of the past year. I am sorry I did not think to address this with you sooner. We could have spared you the anguish and confusion."

Bella nodded at his apology, but made no move to speak. She hated that they were all staring at her, willing her to bare her soul and talk about things better forgotten or left in the past.

"It's alright to be angry, Bella," Jasper soothed after sampling the tenor of Bella's emotions.

His statement brought Bella up short. "I'm not angry."

Now it was Jasper's turn to be confused. "Yes you are, darlin'."

"Well," Bella hedged. "I don't really want to talk about this."

"Yes, I sense reluctance too, but you are angry. You have been ever since we returned."

"No, I haven't." Bella argued, feeling more than a little combative now. Who was Jasper to tell her what she was or was not? Her temper faded quickly when she remembered that Jasper was exactly the person to tell her such things. Chagrin washed through her.

"Bella, why are you angry?" Alice tried to coax out Bella's answer.

Bella didn't feel angry. Right now it was difficult to feel anything but mortification. She had felt hurt of course; she remembered feeling abandoned and lonely, but she could not remember consciously being angry with any of the Cullens over to the events of September since their return. She was just so happy they were back. Maybe she was angry when they left, but not any more.

"I was angry when you left," Bella finally conceded.

"I don't doubt that you were, Bella, but trust me when I tell you that you are also angry now," Jasper stated matter-of-factly.

Disgruntled that Jasper was putting her on the spot, and more than a little self-conscious that everyone was waiting on tender hooks to see what she had to say, Bella sassed back. "Well fine, Jasper. What am I so angry about?"

"That's for you to tell us, darlin'"

"I don't know what I'm angry about."

"Are you angry that we abandoned you?" Carlisle prompted.

"I was, but I'm not mad about that any more. I understand why you left."

"You can still be angry, Bella, even if you do understand," offered Rosalie.

"I just don't know, alright. I don't know why I am angry. Why does it matter? You're here now and everything is fine," Bella evaded. Why couldn't the earth just open up and swallow her now?

"It matters, sweetheart, because that hurt and anger will fester inside of you until you can't stand it anymore. It will eat away at you and make you bitter and resentful. I don't want you to have to experience that. It matters because everything is obviously not fine," Esme explained gently.

Bella remained silent. She wasn't trying to be difficult. She honestly didn't feel angry, but she did still feel mortified and would have rather suffered in silence.

"Bella, please." Emmett finally attempted to convince her to talk.

Bella looked into his earnest butterscotch eyes for a moment. Emmett never really asked her for anything, not even before…but oh, how she missed him when he was gone. She caught sight of the errant curl by his left ear and then remembered her desperation to memorize everything about him earlier. Without even realizing it, she'd begun to worry the bear charm on her bracelet between her fingers as soon as she'd looked at Emmett.

A moment later she finally noticed her unconscious actions and suddenly, Bella knew exactly why she was furious.

"This," she seethed, holding out her wrist so the bracelet was easily seen by everyone in the room. "This is why I am angry."

All seven vampires stared at her in confusion. How did a charm bracelet explain Bella's underlying anger?

"If you left again today," she continued, "at least I would have this. At least I could have something to remember you by. Would it have been so bad to leave me something, anything that would let me remember you were real and that for at least a few fleeting months you cared about me? Why was it so important that I forgot? Was it so you wouldn't feel guilty when you forgot about me?"

Her violent outburst took everyone by surprise, including Bella herself.

"There were moments–" her voice trembled, not just because of her fury, but also because of the lingering hurt and feeling of betrayal, " –moments when I was so sure I had made everything up. Do you know what I had left of you? A bite mark on my hand from a sadistic vampire out to kill me. A faint scar on my arm where Carlisle stitched me up and a stereo that I ripped out of my truck as soon as I was aware enough to even notice it, which by the way, was months after you left. That was it: two scars and a mangled piece of sound equipment. Surely I was worth more than that. Even if I was just a pet to you like Laurent said, surely I was worth enough for you to leave me with a few trinkets to remember you by."

The Cullens watched her tirade with agonized expressions, seeing now just how many mistakes they had made that September evening and how the girl they had been trying to protect suffered because of them.

"And you would have known all this," Bella continued, now cognizant of her fury and more than willing to be free of it, "if any of you had bothered to come back and check on me. No one would have known you were here; you wouldn't have even had to talk to me to know I wasn't moving on, that your clean break wasn't so clean after all. Was I so insignificant that you couldn't spare a day to make sure I was alive?

"How would you have felt if I had died in the woods after chasing Edward, or when Laurent found me, or when I jumped off the cliff, or when Victoria finally caught up to me, or when some other tragedy finally ended my life? When you came back in a century or two, would you even have thought to look for my grave, and if you even bothered to look for it, would you have cared that I died so soon after you left me?

"And even if I had survived, if I had grown old, gotten married and had children, who were you to decide my life for me? Charlie and Renee have done enough of that over the years. Then I met you and I finally thought that I was going to decide my own future; someone was finally going to take into consideration what I wanted. And then you just up and decided after one night, without even bothering to ask me what I wanted or how I felt, that it was in my best interests for you to abandon me with no warning and only one sorry attempt at a goodbye.

"When I was finally coherent enough to feel something other than crushing pain from the hole in my chest, all I could feel was hurt, and anger, and betrayal, and worthlessness. But more than any of those feelings, no matter how hurt or betrayed I felt, I felt isolated. Isolated from anyone who could help me, isolated from anyone who could understand, isolated from the only people I really wanted to be with. You had each other, but one by one the few people I had left gave up or abandoned me too. Then I had no one.

"And then you came back, and suddenly it was like nothing ever happened. Like you never left me. Like I had just imagined those months of agonizing nothingness. And I just forgave you…immediately and without question. Now I wonder if that wasn't a mistake. You ripped my heart to shreds, you tore my life to pieces, you left me mangled and barely breathing, and as soon as you came back I forgave you because I was afraid of you leaving again. But if I have realized anything over the past few weeks, it is that I never deserved to be treated like I was an insignificant toy you could cast aside whenever you felt tired of playing with me. I never deserved being treated like a trivial blip in your immortal lives, just because I was human and I might forget. I never deserved for my feelings to be treated as though they were inconsequential just because I wasn't a vampire and you thought they couldn't possibly be as fierce and intense as your own."

Bella took a deep breath, shutting her eyes against the sight of the family who had wounded her to her core. She had never realized how utterly enraged she was at their behavior until now.

Just when the Cullens though she had reached the end of her impassioned monologue, Bella began to speak again, her voice quiet, but laced with unmistakable fury.

"I'm angry because you made me feel worthless and no one is ever justified in making someone else feel that way–not even vampires. I am not worthless."

With that final remark, Bella allowed the fury to flash across her eyes, plain for all to see, before she crossed her arms over her chest and proceeded to stare at the floor, refusing to meet any of their eyes. She was content to wait and see what they would say in return. Though, she wasn't entirely sure that she'd left them room to say anything.

It was Edward who proved her wrong. "I value you more than my own life," he whispered quietly, but with such conviction she had to look up at him.

He looked agonized of course; Bella had expected nothing less of her masochistic lion, but now he also looked angry.

"You are most certainly not worthless and I swear to you now, I will never allow you to feel that way again. I will spend every day of eternity making sure you know how precious you are." Edward stared unwaveringly into her eyes, as though through that action he could will her into feeling his sincerity and conviction.

As Bella returned his penetrating stare, Esme took her hand and squeezed it gently, forcing Bella to look back at her.

"I know what it's like to feel as though you've been cast aside and left to fend for yourself. I know…" Esme paused, her eyes un-focusing as some painful memory of the past took over. "I know how it feels when it seems like there isn't any one in the world who can save you from the loneliness or cares that you are drowning in it. But, I want you to know I never stopped loving you. I was wrong to leave you, wrong to let you think I didn't care, and I am sorry, but I never stopped loving you and I never will. No matter what any one made us believe, or what we allowed ourselves to believe, we were never worthless."

Bella remembered bits and pieces of a conversation she and Esme had the first time she'd seen vampires play baseball. She remembered the details of Esme's past and knew Esme, perhaps, more than anyone, knew was it was like to feel worthless and isolated. Esme knew and in that moment Bella felt closer to the caramel-haired vampire than ever before.

"We were never worthless," Bella solemnly agreed.

There was more to that statement than mere agreement. It was a moment of solidarity, of shared pain and triumph that no one but Bella and Esme could understand. It was an affirmation that neither woman would tolerate the feeling of worthlessness in her self or in others. It was the beginning of Bella's journey toward true forgiveness and healing.

Bella squeezed Esme's hand again, and then finally made eye contact with the remaining Cullens. She could see that they were ashamed, remorseful, and ready to do whatever she deemed necessary to regain her trust and affection. They were distressed by her anger, but they had allowed her to delve into the crux of her vitriol without interrupting her or making her feel like she was somehow beneath them or unjustified in her feelings. They had treated her with every bit of courtesy and respect that they had recently remembered to show each other. And to Bella, that made all the difference.

She'd only ever wanted to be treated as their equal, treated as though she mattered every bit as much as the rest of them, even if she was only a human who had lived for less that two decades. She wanted to feel like she was really part of their family, and at this moment she finally knew she was. For the first time in her life, Bella knew where she belonged and oh what a heady feeling it was.

Her brilliant smile caught them all off guard. She laughed at their stunned expressions, finally feeling free after having let go of her anger and hurt. The Cullens had a long way to go before they made it up to her, but Bella knew she hadn't made a mistake in forgiving them after all. They deserved her forgiveness, her love, and her devotion as much as she deserved theirs.

"Hey Jasper," Bella called, an unexpected teasing tone in her voice. "What can you pick up now?"

Jasper gaped at Bella for a moment before concentrating on her emotions. Soon enough he was beaming right back at her.

"I don't think I've ever used this particular word to describe anyone but Alice. You are positively effervescent, Bella," he drawled with a chuckle.

"Effervescent, hmm?" she smiled at his assessment. "I don't know about that. I don't think anyone but Alice can be effervescent. I think I'll just settle for blissfully content."

Bella barely had time to breathe after the last syllable left her lips before Edward picked her up in a bone-crushing hug and spun them both around in circles as he kissed her senseless.

The others finally allowed themselves to smile. Once again Bella had made them reconsider themselves, and while they might have felt that they were wanting, she showed them that she loved and accepted them just as they were. She had graciously forgiven them for mistakes that lesser beings would have found inexcusable. She had finally mended the last lingering hole in her heart, and in all of theirs as well. She had rescued them all from ruin and they took comfort knowing that she always would.

"Well people, let's get moving. We have a wedding to plan!" announced Alice, bouncing on her toes at the thought of the multiple shopping excursions that would occur within the next several days.

The Cullens dispersed. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper stowed the haphazardly parked cars back in the garage and then emptied them of Esme's treasures. Alice ran upstairs to snatch her laptop, wedding binder and a plethora magazines and catalogs from her room. Carlisle and Esme quickly sorted through the cluttered plans on the coffee table before retrieving the necessary cans of paint from the garage.

No one minded that Edward and Bella continued to sway contentedly in the living room, even once it was time to paint and move furniture. For now, it was perfectly acceptable to all of them that the happy couple remained oblivious to anything but their complete and total bliss.

For the first time since she accepted Edward's proposal, Bella felt as giddy and excited as Alice. She was more than ready to proclaim to the world that she was and would always be Bella Cullen. She was ready to be spouse, daughter or sister to the members of this motley crew of vampires. She was ready to stand at Edward's side as his equal, his mate, his wife, for eternity. Bella was ready for it all.

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**_I hope you all enjoyed this return to FMP. Please take a moment to leave a review. I would really appreciate it. Thank you again for all your support over the last few years. It has been such a pleasure to write for all of you._**


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